sanghouse Reviews

The Vanishing (1993)

Not so Thrilling Thriller

[4/10 · 2 August 2005]

I Have to say I have never seen the original Dutch "The Vanishing" which seems to get much better reviews and is rated a lot higher than this. This US version is apparently gorier and has a happy ending (unlike the original) but I don't see why it should, both the films are directed by the same person, George Sluizer, who shouldn't have changed a winning formula.

Anyway for me this wasn't a very good film, it is classed as a thriller but their wasn't really anything thrilling about it. It was slow at the beginning and never really got going after that. It has some really good actors in it (The normally reliable Jeff Bridges, 24's Kiefer Sutherland) and that's why i picked it up to start with but they don't add anything much to the film (in fact Jeff Bridges character seems oddly over the top).

Watch the original instead

** out of *****

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Better than SOME People think

[7/10 · 29 July 2005]

This is a lot better than people seem to think. Its a good shark movie, but completely different then the more sedate Jaws and some of the scenes are actually quite scary. When i first watched this i must have been 9 years old and i WAS scared. It has humour, shocks, action what more could you possibly ask for? Who cares about a complicated plot, this is a popcorn blockbuster which you will enjoy for 1 1/2 hours. The simple plot works (scientist finds cure for Alzeimers in sharks brains, unfortunately sharks brains are too small for the drug to be widely produced so the scientists create genetically modified sharks that are bigger so therefore have bigger brains. Unfortunately (again) the sharks get smarter and etc. Also this gets 5.5 out of 10 and Deathwatch gets 5.6 out of 10, no way is that very poor excuse for a horror film is better then this shark infested tale

The Avengers (1998)

One of the most B******s movies i have seen

[1/10 · 29 May 2005]

This has got to be one of the worst movies of all time, there is not one thing moderately OK with this movie. What a waste of a good cast as well (Sean Connery, Uma Thurman, Ralph Fiennes, Jim Broadbent). Sean Connery is, I'm afraid to say, pretty awful as well as the special effects (Even Doctor Who can come up with better, and that is saying something!)

Sean 007 Connery plays a whacked out weirdo, Sir August de Wynter (Who in the hell would have a name like that) who plans to destroy the world with a weather machine, or something like that.

Please for your own sanity miss this one out and whatever you do, do not waste any of your precious pennies buying this junk. To be honest I wouldn't even give it 1 star out of 10. Dud

Léon: The Professional (1994)

Simply Superb

[10/10 · 24 May 2005]

This is quite simply superb. The acting is great, the action is fantastic and the touches of humour are excellent. Jean Reno is one of my favourite actors, he is good in anything (he was the only good thing about Godzilla) but here he excels himself as a loner hit-man. Gary Oldman is on top form also as the deranged cop "Stansfield"

One day his neighbours, who are involved with drugs are murdered, leaving their 12 year old daughter, Mathilda (a young Natalie Portman or "Princess Leia") to fend for herself. Jean Reno reluctantly takes care of her and shows her the tricks of his trade so she can kill the guy (Gary Oldman) who killed her family.

The story progresses as Mathilda and Leon bond and as she plucks up enough courage to go after the men who killed her family. The end sequence is incredible as Jean Reno takes on about half of America's police to save Mathilda.

10/10 Perfect

Escape from New York (1981)

Rubbish

[2/10 · 22 May 2005]

I don't see how anyone can like this movie. i know it was made 24 years ago but the special effects, well they aren't special at all. The plot is that New York has become a huge prison because of soaring crime rates, where all the really really nasty guys are put. The presidents plane crashes right into the heart of this massive jail. Snake Plissken (possibly the worst movie name ever) a former war hero turned criminal is sent into to retrieve the president and an important video tape. By the way if he doesn't co-operate he'll be blown up. I won't give anything away, mainly because there isn't anything to give away but i don't want to spoil your "enjoyment" if you ever do watch it. Please Don't

2/10

Red Scorpion (1988)

Possibly the worst film I have seen

[1/10 · 22 May 2005]

This is probably the worst film i have ever seen. All 101 minutes of it. The action is rubbish, the acting even worse and as for the plot, well is there one? Avoid at all costs. Dolph Lundgren should not be counted as an actor he is so awful.

The so called story is Dolph Lundgren is a Soviet KGB Agent trained as a deep undercover agent, assigned to infiltrate an African Guerilla Group. Dolph has different ideas after he sees what the Russians (and their Cuban Allies)are doing to the locals. He switches allegiance to the locals against his form employers and helps the rebels fight.

An absolute Dud