Bananeyfish Reviews

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Best Film Since "The Return of the King"

[10/10 · 31 December 2023]

I love movies, but I've been extremely disappointed by the movies that have been coming out this last decade (I know I'm not alone). This movie is STUNNING. It's a return to form while being fresh, vibrant, and powerful. I cannot say enough good things about this movie.

There is no lack of Godzilla throughout the film, but the characters are actually interesting and have incredible depth. The way it skillfully weaves character arcs and handles post-war attitudes while not excusing a formerly fascist government is masterful. I hope that every major Hollywood executive is ashamed to show their face in the streets after this film. I hope this is the beginning of a new revival in the art of film.

If you haven't seen this yet, get in line IMMEDIATELY!

West of Hell (2018)

They Should be Ashamed

[3/10 · 12 November 2023]

This was so baffling. You have MAJOR talent like Tony Todd and Lance Henriksen and you completely waste them and you choose to FILTER Lance Henriksen's voice? One of the most iconic voices in film? He's literally only in the last 20 minutes of the movie too, first appearance at 1:02:35, he lucked out by staying out of this as much as possible, though it was probably lack of budget or writing creativity to have him throughout.

The lead actress was so bad. Everyone was doing the most nasal-y modern voices and accents and the costumes were sloppy at best. There was no cohesive indication of what year it was supposed to be. The pathetic attempts to add "realism" via 1950's era racism will just make your skin crawl. Not to mention the humanization and attempts to make the slave owner and her confederate bodyguard cute and likeable. Don't waste your time.

The Outfit (1993)

I just wanted to see Lance Henriksen

[4/10 · 13 August 2022]

Waaaaay too much sex and fighting, considering the plot. Feels like the main actor just wanted to have more sex scenes. I just watched this because I like Lance Henriksen, but he's wildly underutilized, and it sounds like they had him shouting himself hoarse with how ill he sounds in some scenes. Also the version available on Tubi is almost TWO HOURS long, which is way too long for so much nothing to be happening. Don't waste your time.

Halloween Kills (2021)

Worst Halloween Since "Season of the Witch"

[2/10 · 26 October 2021]

This movie is painful and frustrating to watch from beginning to end. I have never rooted for the slasher of a movie so wholeheartedly in my life; these characters are impossibly annoying. Jamie Lee Curtis is the only thing holding this movie together, and even with her talent she is barely able to do so. Clearly a cash grab and a major waste of time.

Ice Cream in the Cupboard (2019)

Beautiful, but distasteful

[3/10 · 7 July 2021]

This movie is incredibly beautiful visually, but that's all it has going for it. I'm sure this was an absolutely lovely book, but the movie does not portray these people as likeable or relatable, and even worse, makes jokes out of this horrible disease. I have worked with Alzheimer's patients in the past, and this depiction of those with it was frankly insulting. This would have benefited greatly from being a short film, as the vision for this movie was clearly focused around a few key scenes with the rest being treated as filler. I would highly recommend spending time watching a more informative film or other first-person account or better yet, just volunteering at an Alzheimer's center if you want to learn more or prepare yourself for the future if someone in your family has been diagnosed.

The Sandman (III) (2017)

So boring I almost cried

[3/10 · 22 May 2021]

The only good thing about this movie was Tobin Bell, which is why I gave it even three stars. Semi-original concept, horrible execution, horrible writing. The child is written how a teenager would write for themself. Very cool creature, and appears to be at least partially a practical effect, but that is the movie's only other saving grace.