erollence Reviews

Civil War (2024)

Very Bad People, On Both Sides!

[5/10 · 17 April 2024]

The writer/director seemed hell-bent on not pointing fingers or choosing sides. Consequently, he ended up taking an infamous stance: "There are very good (or bad) people, ON BOTH SIDES." Everyone is equally at fault. There are no good guys, no bad guys, no winners, only losers. I understood his desire to not put his thumb on the scale in American politics, but as a moviegoer it felt empty. It's Star Wars, except EVERYONE is a storm-trooper, and they are all just killing whoever crosses their path. The movie ends with half the storm-troopers dead and the other half alive. Hooray for the storm-troopers?

This movie is about a Civil War in the United States of America, but American politics plays no part. Therefore, it's portrayed as if it could be ANY fictitious country. The message: war is bad. Yeah, we get it.

The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)

Fantastic Writing

[10/10 · 13 October 2023]

I just binged the entire mini-series and was blown away by the writing throughout all the episodes. I love that they throw in real-world references in the dialog, just like we would in a normal conversation; "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" One-line zingers and extended expositions were handled with equal flair. I'll never think of lemons the same way again! The actors handled the dialog like they had been speaking like that their entire lives. Writing, directing, acting, editing, cinematography were all top notch. Time and again I thought, "Oh that's a nice shot." This was so much better than any movie because they had enough time to tell a full story, and yet, not once did I think to look at my watch. Did I mention the writing? This is a MasterClass in screenwriting.

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023)

Yelling at the TV doesn't help.

[5/10 · 7 October 2023]

Great cast, I just wish Samantha Mathis had more of a role. A few good, creepy moments. Unfortunately, by the third act of the movie, some of the scenes/scenarios became completely absurd. There were the typical tropes of people doing incredibly stupid things-but it's a horror movie, so that's expected. Yelling at the TV doesn't help. I tried. The idiots died anyway. I found myself rolling my eyes more than anything else. The undead could seemingly teleport and do superman type of stuff. Sometimes people say a movie might have been better had they edited out 20-30 minutes. Not this movie. This was very tightly edited and could have used a bit more exposition. Just being familiar with the Pet Sematary story helped fill-in some of the blanks. Really wanted to like this. Given the caliber of the cast, I think a lot of people were rooting for this movie. Glad I saw it, just wouldn't watch it again.

Black Summer (2019–2021)

Frenetic!

[10/10 · 28 July 2023]

I just binged both seasons in 2 days. I was transfixed from the first episode. The directing, editing, framing, blocking, cinematography, and of course, acting were all top notch. I really liked the overlapping story-lines and how they delivered them, again with editing and blocking etc. Very creative! This entire series reminded me of the first ten minutes of 2004 movie, Dawn of the Dead. Shocking, frenetic, intense, edge-of-your-seat thriller. Taking place in the US, as you might expect, there were a lot of guns. I really like how terrifyingly realistic some scenes are. When you have dozens of terrified people shooting guns, you can expect the unexpected! The action sequences were as good as anything I've ever seen. Ignore the ratings from the internet trolls. This series is worth your time.

Westworld (2016–2022)

Season 4: a Dream inside a Flashback inside a Simulation inside a Loop

[7/10 · 18 August 2022]

Just finished season 4. A main character dies... oh wait! Now they're alive again! Gotcha! Then the character is killed again. Now they're alive. Gotcha AGAIN!

Season 4 has been a simulation inside a dream inside a memory inside 1 of 10,000 possible outcomes inside another simulation. Try to keep up viewers!

You know why I was so excited about the launch of the Westworld series? WESTWORLD! Too bad we really only had 1 full season in Westword. Now it's just a sci-fi experiment: what's real? What's really real? What is the real meaning of really being real? Really?

Does season 5 end with Dr. Ford waking up and exclaiming, "It was all a dream"? YEESH!

Vanquish (2021)

Student Film

[4/10 · 15 August 2022]

I turned on the subtitles because the audio mix was bad. This was basically just an outline of a script, and the producers figured that's all that was needed. It was a 50-minute movie "packed" into 90 minutes. Terrible directing and editing. Action sequences were OK in some spots and other sequences were cringe-worthy. Some reviews talk about bad acting, but I attribute that to poor directing, writing, and editing. Glad I watched it all the way through just for the sake of completion, but I'll never want to watch it again.

The Andromeda Strain (1971)

75 Minutes "Packed" Into a 130 Minute Movie

[6/10 · 17 April 2022]

The director Robert Wise has a misconception he keeps using: if I spend a long time on a boring shot, it will seem more important. His movie, Star Trek The Motion Picture, was the same. Painfully slow sequences in a futile effort to give the movie more weight. Even the original Andromeda Strain movie poster advertises that the movie is 130 minutes as if to say, this movie is long enough to be taken seriously. Now that the movie is over 50 years old, it does play more like a "period piece". Keep your expectations low.

It Chapter Two (2019)

Casting: IT Matters

[7/10 · 8 February 2022]

Casting a chiseled "Roger Ramjet" leading man as the adult version of Ben was a huge mistake. I know the producers and casting director are trying to make some sort of statement with their casting decision. Unfortunately, the statement was, "We know we are making a movie, so we don't care about real-life." The adult Ben has zero connection with the teen Ben. My choice for the adult Ben: Tyler Labine (Best Man Down). Tyler would have been perfect! And we wouldn't have to suspend disbelief EVERY TIME the adult Ben is on the screen.

To Die For (1995)

Dumb Leading the Dumber

[8/10 · 27 November 2021]

Some reviewers state there were no surprises. This isn't that type of movie. It's not a mystery. I also didn't find this to be a dark or black comedy at all. Maybe it's getting labeled that way because there are some incredibly stupid teenagers that say stupid things, but I never found it funny. It was sad to see really stupid kids manipulated by an adult that also wasn't very bright. Dumb leading the dumber. Performances were great all around. I also found the ending to be satisfying.

The Stolen (II) (2017)

Watch SWEETWATER instead

[5/10 · 12 November 2021]

This movie is a bit disingenuous in its advertising - a woman with a gun behind her back and the tag line, "She's Coming For You". The Alice Eve character was weak and needy for 95% of the movie. She wasn't a vigilante by any means - never armed and "coming for anybody" in the entire movie! She was stupid, naive, and man-dependent throughout. Even after being horribly wronged, she seemed stunningly unchanged. Poor writing or directing or acting? As the credits rolled I had no faith that our "hero" would live to see another day unless some kind-hearted man saved her. Pretty much the OPPOSITE of what I hoped for. I recommend the movie Sweetwater, starring January Jones if you want to see a satisfying vigilante movie.

The Santa Stakeout (2021 TV Movie)

Thoroughly Enjoyable

[10/10 · 30 October 2021]

I really like this movie. Enjoyable from start to finish. It is great seeing Joe Pantoliano in this movie. He is the heart and soul of the story. Interestingly, my other favorite Hallmark Christmas movie, A Season For Miracles, also revolves around a police department. Maybe the police angle gives these stories a little more gravity so they're not too saccharine. I also like the pace of the movie. The romantic evolution really takes its time and feels a lot more natural. This movie is excellent throughout.

Brimstone (2016)

Horror-Western

[3/10 · 28 October 2021]

This movie is bleak, horrific, brutal, misogynistic, sadistic, incestuous, without justice, and that's just the beginning. I found it to be more of a horror film dressed as a western. It's told in out-of-order chapters because... it's artsier that way? The last chapter was titled: Redemption. Believe me, that was a mislabeled chapter! The only thing I felt at the end of the movie was despair and sadness. Wish I hadn't watched it.

Under the Dome (2013–2015)

Love-Hate Relationship With This Series

[5/10 · 9 October 2021]

This is one of the most difficult shows to review. The premise of trapping 2000 people inside a dome is brilliant. Will the townspeople cooperate? Will they turn on each other? Fantastic potential for exploring humanity under pressure. The execution is where this series fluctuates wildly between engaging and crushingly stupid. There were 21 screenwriters for 39 episodes. At times, you can really feel the screenplays being written in a "paint-by-numbers" style. Very contrived situations where everybody agrees on making the stupidest decisions possible in order to propel the plot. Similar to that funny GEICO commercial about teenagers in a horror movie making all the wrong choices; "Let's hide behind the chainsaws!" There were many, many times I was yelling at the idiots on my TV screen. There is one really, really good character arc in the series which I found surprising and very satisfying. Then we'd go right back to people making stupid decisions over and over and over and over again. I had a love-hate relationship with this series. The science in this show was also tissue-thin. Oh, and one of the major plot points is a direct rip-off of an episode from the original Star Trek series from the 1960s. It seemed as though they took the Star Trek script and just copied and pasted it into their screenplay. That aside, when this was on broadcast TV I didn't follow it through all 3 seasons. I must have been as frustrated with the writing then as I am now. However, binging the show helps a bit. You don't have to wait a week to see what stupid things they'll do in the next episode; you can get right to it and begin yelling at your TV in minutes! Season 3 ends with a clear indication they were planning a 4th season. But season 4 was canceled, so the last episode of season 3 unexpectedly turned out to be the last episode of the SERIES: not designed to be a satisfying conclusion. Lastly, after watching this show plod along for days and days and days, it seemed the writers just ran out of time in the last episode; "What?!! We have to wrap up EVERYTHING in the final 10 minutes?!! Uh-oh!". I'm glad I watched the series all the way through just for the sake of completion, but I'll never watch it again.

A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

Wish there was more DAY 1

[7/10 · 22 September 2021]

The part of the trailer that caught my attention was the sequence from the day the aliens arrived. For a moment I thought the movie was going to be a prequel, not a sequel. Turns out it was both, but only 10% prequel and 90% sequel. Having watched the whole movie, I wish the movie was more prequel. I find DAY 1 far more interesting. What would I do in that circumstance? Once we see the aftermath in the original movie, there isn't a lot of new ground to cover. In the beginning, couldn't a 60-ton tank with a 50 caliber machine gun turn the aliens into Swiss Cheese? Couldn't sound be used to distract the aliens? Ring a church bell, then another 1 mile away, then another, then another--get those aliens running in circles--all the while shooting the hell out of them. I thought we had a few guns in this country. Use helicopters with machine guns or missiles and turn those aliens into steaming piles of goo. So many sequences I would have loved to see. Oh well.

Primal (2019)

Why Famke, why?

[5/10 · 17 September 2021]

The idea was potentially good-no escape from a trained killer on the loose aboard a ship. That was the "elevator pitch" that gave this movie a green light. Unfortunately, the absurd script was cringe-worthy over and over again. Really written for the early teen crowd despite the R rating. Nicolas and Kevin were OK in their respective roles. But poor Famke Janssen looks terrible after her completely unneeded plastic surgery. A classic beauty that could have aged gracefully, like Laila Robins, but instead has ruined her face for the rest of her life. There are so many cautionary examples of plastic surgery you would think people would learn-apparently not. What a shame!

The Birds (1963)

Very dated depiction of women

[7/10 · 13 September 2021]

I'm torn about how to review this movie. The suspense, action, directing, editing, special effects, and live-bird wrangling was all top rate. That said, this is definitely a movie of the time. All the women and girls were needy, irrational, hysterical, stupid, inept, in a nutshell; completely man-dependent. I was rolling my eyes time and again at all the cringe-worthy scenes. Some of the screenplay had women making idiotic decisions just to facilitate action sequences--"OK kids, there is a mass of killer birds gathered just outside. Let's all go outside." Ridiculous! Even the male hero makes similar stupid decisions in the final few minutes just so they can end the movie. I know a lot of people love this movie, just be aware it's definitely a product of its time.

Hotel Artemis (2018)

The Date 2028 Ruined the Movie

[5/10 · 14 February 2021]

I'm going to complain about the dumbest thing-the year this futuristic movie is supposed to take place. Some of the technology being used in the movie *might* be available 100 years from now. But they set the date of this movie in the oh-so-distant year of 2028. Just stupid. I wish these writers with zero understanding of technology would just NOT USE a date for their movie at all. I was disappointed with how stupid the writer and producers were as soon as the date of 2028 appeared on the screen. I just had to vent. Don't get me started about Blade Runner in the oh-so-"distant" year of 2019.

Christmas Scavenger Hunt (2019 TV Movie)

Enjoyable

[9/10 · 10 November 2020]

This movie is quite enjoyable. I liked both Kim and Kevin in their lead romantic roles. And the supporting cast was fine as well. That said, someone needs to give Tom Arnold a decongestant.

Was the story contrived and trite? Yes, and yes. Still, they avoided *some* of the standard tropes of these romantic Christmas movies. I especially enjoyed the very first encounter between the 2 leads--a little edgy and fun! The scavenger hunt story line was clever and helped move things along. And this shouldn't matter, but I also liked that they shot the movie where there was real snow on the ground!

Underwater (2020)

Hold Your Breath, White-Knuckle, Non-Stop Peril

[9/10 · 10 January 2020]

15 seconds into the trailer for this movie I thought-I gotta see this! I was not disappointed. Exactly what I was hoping for. Thrilling, terrifying, and claustrophobic; this movie doesn't let up for a minute. Have you ever watched a movie and thought that they should have trimmed 20 minutes? This is NOT that! All heart-pounding tension and no filler. I'm not gonna say too much about the sea creatures. I'll just mention that there was one scene in particular that was straight out of a nightmare! Monsters aside, the cinematography was also great. My favorite moment's were the "helmet cam" shots where we are inside of Kristen Stewart's helmet. Did I mention claustrophobic? I was holding my breath because I didn't want to use up any of Kristen's oxygen!

Royal New Year's Eve (2017 TV Movie)

Satisfying

[8/10 · 31 December 2019]

I thought this movie was fine over all. Sure plenty of things to nitpick, but they also avoided some of the elements of most cookie-cutter plots-namely, the boy and girl having a falling out. Cheryl Ladd's character was really despicable. Character qualities aside, it's a shame that a woman with such classic beauty resorted to terrible plastic surgery. The supporting actors were reasonably good. I thought it was smart that the country of origin of the prince was never defined. There was a funny line about "size 0 models" that the lead actress laughed about, yet the lead actress was a whisper-thin size 0 herself. Still, I found myself rooting for the couple to find each other and fall in love, just as they were supposed to!

Four Christmases and a Wedding (2017 TV Movie)

Better Than Most Christmas Movies

[9/10 · 31 October 2018]

I thought the plot was more clever than most Christmas movies. The acting was surprisingly good across the board. The lead actress, Arielle Kebbel, was delightful and charming. I also loved that she was constantly eating during the scenes! It was a special treat to see Markie Post and Judge Reinhold on the screen. I also liked all the establishing shots featuring real snow scenes--that helped keep the movie cold and Christmas-y. I also liked that the movie continued for 5 minutes past the "normal ending" of a Christmas movie. Overall very enjoyable.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

Silhouettes

[6/10 · 28 May 2018]

If you like your movie experience to feel like you're wearing dark sunglasses in a fog filled theater-this is the movie for you. Unnecessarily dark. Every scene is back lit. The actors are rarely seen as anything but silhouettes. And I watched the 2D version. I can only imagine how dark the 3D version was. The cinematographer tried to give the movie gravitas by under lighting it. One might have thought the movie starred horrible looking actors, and they back lit every scene so we could never see their faces. Maybe they thought dubbing the movie for different languages would be easier if we couldn't see facial features. There is a very brief scene where we can actually see direct light on Emilia Clarke's face. It was startling! Oh, that's what she looks like! Even daytime scenes outside on a beach, or on a snow covered planet, were dark and sunless. I've never seen snow that looked so bleak. Star Wars has become Noir Wars.

Underworld: Blood Wars (2016)

Pitch Black

[7/10 · 23 December 2017]

Good franchise. Good movie. Good actors. Good acting. In this installment: terrible cinematography. They were very heavy-handed with their filters. The blue tint to everything is acceptable, but then they used very high contrast and then darkened the heck out of every frame of the movie. I first saw this in a theater and I assumed the projectionist was running the projector at about 60% brightness. I hoped buying the Blu-ray would deliver the true picture. Turns out, the movie *really* is dark. Too dark. Way too dark. Every vampire in the coven was wearing 100% black outfits. Put them in a candle lit room with black walls and curtains and darkened filters and you end up with blue/white faces seemingly floating around! So frustrating. Even the photo that Netflix uses for this movie (DVD cover) is far brighter than any image in the entire movie. Maybe they should have called this movie: Pitch Black. Oh wait, that's already been used.