ragreen259 Reviews

Operation Dames (1959)

Wrong number

[2/10 · 25 May 2008]

Good lord, whoever made this turkey needs to be buried alive. I'm sorry, but the other reviewer must not have seen this movie, he must be watching something else, or have never seen a movie before... 9 out of ten stars? He's saying what, this is as good as Ben Hur or Gone With the Wind? Unintentionally funny, massively unbelievable characters, absurd situations, looks like it was shot in Griffith Park (which works out pretty well--MASH was shot in Griffith Park), crappy script, just about everything that could possibly be wrong with a movie all rolled into one package. Should be required viewing for all prospective film makers as an example of how a movie could be horribly wrong. It reminds me of something a USC student may make for a film class.

Give this one a pass unless you do drugs and are into high camp.

The Sinister Urge (1960)

High Camp From Ed Wood Jr

[8/10 · 15 May 2006]

Don't fall into the evil world of pornography!

This movie is classic Wood. For some reason, I have a hard time seeing it as being made in 1961, however.

It's great going through, looking for how many errors due to budget constraints there are, continuity errors, all the usual. Add to this the stiff acting and memorized lines, and you're all set. I enjoyed this movie, and see new stupid errors in it every time I watch it, it can supply you with hours of entertainment.

Don't expect Ben Hur, but if you enjoy Ed Wood, or haven't seen anything else by him but want a classic example of his work, this is one you'll want to see.

Inserts (1975)

Some People Just Don't Get It

[8/10 · 10 April 2006]

After reading all of the reviews, I've come to the conclusion that people who enjoy movies, and apparently have a clue, enjoyed this movie for what it was. The people who talk smack about it, well, they all thought they were going to see some x-rated f*** flick, and were bummed that it didn't have any penetration or money shots in it. People ragged because it was X rated and say that was why it failed. I think it had more to do with the way it was distributed. Midnight Cowboy was originally X too, and it did quite well. Then there was Boogie Nights, which wasn't X rated, but dealt with the same subject on a broader scale--the porn industry. Did people go to see that, thinking that they were going to see a bunch of mainstream stars in a f*** flick? No.

And look at who is in this movie--Dreyfus, Bob Hoskins, Veronica Cartwright and Jessica Harper! Geeze, how could anyone be thinking they were going to go see smut, then be disappointed because it turned out not to be... actually so disappointed, that 25 years later, all they can still remember about the movie is how disappointed they were when they went to see it when they were a kid that there was no money shot or semen-covered faces, that they blunder their way onto this site and give a lame review, because their libido was let down by art yet one more time.

See this movie--but don't expect Deep Throat.

Barbarosa (1982)

One of the greatest!

[9/10 · 5 January 2006]

First, I have to say, the very first person to review this movie on IMDb apparently is only attracted to violence in movies, and doesn't want to try to actually see the story line. More explosions! More dead people, and they need to be literally blown apart! Death! Fire! Without it, all movies suck! I notice that everyone else pretty much says the exact opposite. Odd, how at a later date, every review has an "unhelpful" flag next to it.

The story woven in Barbarosa is an excellent one, and no one could've pulled off the title role except Willie. The eventual transformation of Karl, from naive farm boy on the run into Barbarosa himself, is astonishing, everything from the way he looks to the way he sounds. Rancho life is authentically depicted, as is the West Texas farm life of the period... and the "eye for an eye" mentality of the people involved, and it's tragic consequences is a lesson hidden away in the storyline, almost as an afterthought. The photography is incredible, and at times the music is is almost overwhelming.

"...you ain't got enough ass in your britches to kill Barbarosa..."

See it.

The Skulls II (2002 Video)

who fished this turd out of the pool?

[2/10 · 16 December 2005]

My God, what can be said. This doesn't even stand up to the usual poor quality of horror/thriller sequels. The really unfortunate thing is that the script actually stood a chance, but the flick itself went into the dumper the first five minutes and never recovered. Just to begin with, what is with all the beautiful people in the same place at the same time...? Is this like a Baywatch Goes to College movie? Then there's all the "secret societies" on the campus of this college. Does anyone ever go to class, or do they just run around in robes, hosing beautiful coeds wearing bras that push their boobs up under their chins? Then this "secret society" passes out rulebooks with the person's name on it that owns it? Gee, there's a really brilliant idea. I don't say this often, but I truly feel as if I've been robbed of 99 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Slackers (2002)

vaguely funny

[6/10 · 27 November 2005]

I found it had some good moments, but I don't find humor in someone so mentally disturbed that he's stalking some naive college girl and masturbating in her dorm room while she sleeps. This guy is purely sick, and the fact is this guy would probably be locked in a mental ward in the jail section of a hospital immediately, if some of his fellow students didn't hunt him down and kill him. Ethan supplies no humor to the movie whatsoever, but does supply a certain warm fuzzy to the audience whenever someone kicks him in the nuts. It's a standard gimmick to put someone in the cast that's a dick, but this guy is a dick in the same vein that Charles Manson is a dick.

Other than that, however, if they could've made that particular character not be a psychotic stalker jerking off in this chicks room while she's laying there asleep, and just kind of a dumbass instead, I think the movie would have been a little better accepted by the general public. Cute story, good music, decent cast--it's just that trying to extract humor for a sexual predator doesn't cut it.

Guadalcanal Diary (1943)

A classic, but...

[8/10 · 12 November 2005]

What's with the opening scenes? It's like a bunch of homosexual marines or something... first, they're all laying around, basking in the sun, shooting the bull and poking a little fun at each other, like a group of men that are closely bound by something like a war may do... except the impression is, since they're literally laying on top of each other (??) that they're in a small boat or craft of some sort where there's not much room and they're crowded together.

Then the camera fades back... and they're on the deck of a ship!! I'm not sure, but it seems a little odd that they all choose to lay with their heads in each others' laps and on top of one another when there's enough room for them to not even see each other! Next scene--they're in the bunk area, some guy is cranking out "Chattanooga Choo Choo" on the harmonica, and two guys are dancing a swing dance together, looking like they've practiced it like stage performers! And you haven't lived until you've seen William Bendix in his underwear, with a shirt tied around his waist to look like a skirt, dancing an Irish jig while the "boys" clap their hands, grinning.

Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here, but I didn't really think that marines were quite so... well... If I were a marine, I may be a little offended at the portrayal...

Belizaire the Cajun (1986)

Ever been to Texas, boy?

[9/10 · 30 October 2005]

What a fantastic movie... beautifully shot, terrific story, incredible music. Belizaire carries his torch for Alida, the love of his life, to the end, and uses his knowledge of superstitions to get his way. A fairly accurate portrayal of life in the Bayou, and the prejudices faced by the Acadian settlers, and how so many of them dealt with it. In my opinion, this has to be one of Armand Assante's best roles. Humor, tragedy, excitement, and intrigue, all rolled into one package.

The only reason I can figure that this movie has gotten a low rating here is that there must be a number of people who are heavily weighted voters that simply voted it down with the good olé' "it was stupid," (read: I have no idea what was going on, nothing exploded, people had funny accents, and the music was weird)mentality. See it, decide for yourself.

A Killer Among Friends (1992 TV Movie)

Whoever produced this dog should be shot

[4/10 · 24 October 2005]

This is one of the few times a true story is nearly made unbelievable by the idiotic cast of characters. Fortunately, the presence of Patty Duke holds it together somewhat, although for most of the movie, she's as bad as everyone else. It seems that everyone in the world is completely blind to the fact that the real killer is the loon that they've decided is their friend... they miss things like "Jenny told her in a dream," and "You need to go kill him, he did it. And bring me a finger to prove he's dead." Of course, she's not going to just join the lynch mob/family... she's apparently going to wait at home. If you want to know the story, which is tragic, but interesting, read the book... don't waste your time on this movie unless you've nothing else to do and you're snowed in.

One Tough Bastard (1996)

I could only wish I'd been in that store

[3/10 · 2 October 2005]

And would've been shot along with everybody else, so I didn't have to watch this piece of crap. Two words--Brian Bosworth. Mother of God.

Plodding, disjointed story (although it was amusing when one batch of guys shows up to steal guns and another group shows up to steal drugs... talk about a tense social situation...), the entire premise of the story seems pretty stupid... why wouldn't the cops level the place and kill the bad guy--I mean, other than the fact that they aren't the LAPD? They arrest him after he is responsible for the death of a dozen people, then he gets released to a guy that simply flashes a badge at the police department with no explanation, no paperwork, no escort... yeah, that happens every day, suspected mass murderers are released and no one even looks askance... and they walk out, side by side, the guy's not even in cuffs, and no one bats an eye...? Don't the newspapers notice that the guy that just murdered a bunch of people suddenly disappeared? Then he's turned loose by the guy to go back to his drug dealing, and all his buddies gather 'round... no one seems to think it's a little odd that he just killed a half dozen people and is back on the street a couple days later--apparently they're all too stupid to have it dawn on them that the guy is a snitch, or rolled over on someone. And how likely is an FBI agent walking around in a suit with hair to his shoulders and two rings in his nose--at headquarters? He looked like he was doing an emaciated Fabio impersonation. The guy looks ridiculous, and his cronies at the FBI are just as absurd. A little credibility could've been lent to them if they didn't look like some kind of lame-ass caricatures of exiles from Miami Vice, but apparently the director didn't think so. What cop would look at this guy and think he wasn't crooked? Nice low profile, dude. Then there's the scene where, in broad daylight, a white kid shoots a ten year old black kid on the streets of Los Angeles for his shoes. We all know how many surfer wannabe gangsters there are in L.A. carrying guns, shooting other kids for their shoes. The shooter looks about twelve. Puh-leez. No one bats an eye. Cars drive by, it's just business as usual in L.A. I guess, no one even looks when a dead kid is laying on a busy street next to a four lane downtown street at noon. And why does a tattoo artist (in a very upscale tat parlor that looks like it should be in Malibu at a fashion mall) have a baseball bat to pull out of nowhere and start swinging at the hero? Then there's writing, in huge red felt pen letters on your desk calendar at the FBI office "KILL MARCUS." I guess that's just in case he forgets to kill Marcus. "I knew there was something I was supposed to do today..." **glances down** "OH YEAH!! I need to KILL MARCUS! I almost forgot!" Don't waste your time on this piece of crap, it'd be better spent doing something more enjoyable, like repeatedly burning yourself on the ass with a lit cigar.

Journey to the Center of the Earth (1999)

It's OK....

[6/10 · 17 September 2005]

But I have to say, it takes a set of balls the size of ostrich eggs to make a movie and put a title on it that belongs to an entirely different story. Jules Verne is spinning in his grave on this one, believe me--this isn't even vaguely in line with the book. None of the characters even have the same name, fer crying' out loud! There's tribes of lizard men and humans living down there, AND THE HUMANS SPEAK English!!

I did find the movie entertaining however, my only real issue with it is blatantly stealing the name of one of the greatest science fiction fantasies ever written in history and dropping it on another story in the blatant interest of tricking people to come in and think that they're about to witness the real thing. For God's sake, they even credit Jules Verne!!! For what, writing the title? On the up side, the women are all beautiful, but on the other hand, the men don't look like any of them, at least the subterranean dwellers, have bathed in years. What IS that stuff on them, anyway, if not dirt.

I hear that they're remaking Plan 9 From Outer Space next year, and they're going to call it Gone With the Wind.

A Walk in the Clouds (1995)

Stunned

[8/10 · 14 August 2005]

Who are you and what have you done with the real Keanu Reaves? This guy's come a long ways since Bill & Ted.

I was floored by the cinematography, the story itself, and the way the family was portrayed, capturing the way so many of the wine-growing families of the day were in California--not to mention the traditions and mores that existed at the time.

Anthony Quinn also turns in a stellar performance, as always, as the eccentric grandfather that really isn't quite as odd as he'd like everyone to believe he is, spots Reeves for what he really is early in the story, and pretty much drives him to face what should be his destiny--but lets him think that he's making up his own mind. All in all, I have to say this flick is a major winner, despite the fact that there's no sex, no one is gunned down, no one is blown to bits, and there are no computer generated graphics of meteorites plowing into gasoline refineries. See it.

Wyatt Earp (1994)

It's a movie

[8/10 · 18 March 2005]

A very good movie, the biggest letdown is the length! Good lord, I'm reading people saying there needed to be more detail, blah blah--you'd need to make a series on TV! It's already, what, three hours long? Some of the acting seemed a little stiff, what is it with Kostner that he always comes off like he's got his lines memorized, and he's trying to remember them? As for passing judgement on historical accuracy--folks, it's a movie, OK? Not a history course. Omission is not historical inaccuracy, it's expediency, as long as the continuity of the story is intact. I liked Tombstone too. Both entertaining movies, neither is Gone With the Wind. Isn't entertainment and performance what it's all about?