Have you ever been scared of your mobile phone? Ever though that a mobile phone would be a great basis for a horror film? If your answer to both of those questions is a resounding yes, then you clearly have little imagination and you'd love this film! Yay! Well, clearly the idea of getting brain cancer from mobile phones isn't scary enough so Toilet Pictures (Very apt) have brought us Ahn Byong Ki's 2002 scare-a-throng "Phone". The story in a nutshell? Easy. Woman writes sex-scandal stories and is stalked by an angry sex-scandalee. She receives a variety of phone calls from said stalker and so changes her phone number and moves house. But... Oh no! What a mistake! She moves into the house of a dead girl, who subsequently possesses a child who... blah. We'll end there shall we? Because my God I wish I had. The saving grace of the film, the young girl (Strangely enough, the only actor not to be made of wood) is superb which makes you feel like you're actually watching something worth while. But that plot! Not only confusing, due to numerous flashbacks/dreams that even Tale of Two Sisters could be proud of, but because of the sheer stupidity of it all. Technology in films has very rarely fared well, seemingly niche because of their nerdy status (Mobile phones are not cool Mr. Middle Class) or achingly under researched thus rendering the production completely unwatchable through wincing eyes. There is little in this film in the way of suspense, horror or even shock. It feels like weighed down with hokey explanations of why mobile phones should be scary. "Don't answer the phone! Don't even look at it!" is a surprisingly good quote to take into account here. So how can you make a mobile phone scary? High call charges, crap games and a low battery life. Needless to say, I will never look at a mobile phone in the same way again, lest I become possessed by a horny school girl. Spend your money on something good instead, you deserve it.
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