davetomkins Reviews

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

It's Great For Stunts and Action, Otherwise Dull

[6/10 · 27 April 2014]

I watched The Amazing Spiderman 2 last night. It was exactly as I have come to expect a Marvel movie to be: ridiculous bad guys, stunts, explosions and a bit of back story to keep us relatively interested. It does exactly what it says on the tin; I think if you REALLY criticise it, then it's not your type of film anyway.

That said, the dialogue was not particularly snappy, the plot was utterly predictable and most of the acting wasn't that great. Jamie Foxx went through the motions (as much as you can when you're playing an electrified bloke with a vendetta) and every time I look at Andrew Garfield I see Andy Murray and think to myself "boring". Dane DeHaan was suitably unhinged as Harry Osborn but unfortunately had very little back story, and Emma Stone was, as usual, gorgeous. I did however find myself a bit bored every so often when I saw ANOTHER long shot of Spidey jumping off a building.

It's not a bad film; just that there's not much point to it. If you're looking for explosions and stunts with no obvious plot, this is perfect.

Dallas Buyers Club (2013)

Outstanding.

[9/10 · 18 February 2014]

Dallas Buyers Club is not normally the sort of film I would go to watch but given all the hype it had to be worth a look. I was hooked from the start. Matthew McConaughy gives a staggeringly good performance (losing that much weight - 47lbs! - must've been difficult) whilst Jared Leto steals the show as Rayon, the unlikely business partner that Ron ends up working with.

It is an extremely bitter-sweet movie, and describes the despair, hope and uncertainty surrounding mid-80s AIDS patients in detail but without shoving it down your throat. What is even more impressive is the way McConaughey shows the journey that Ron Woodroof takes, from abusive, blinkered rodeo redneck to tolerant, hard-nosed businessman with more than an eye for the medical laws of his country.

It's an absolute triumph in my eyes; however I feel that McConaughey & Leto will be sadly overlooked at the Oscars due to the bigger budget and more popular 12 Years A Slave. That's not to say 12 Years doesn't deserve it - they both do. But I just don't think that Dallas Buyers Club will get the awards I am certain it warrants.

The World's End (2013)

Oh My. How the Mighty Have Fallen...

[3/10 · 16 February 2014]

I am a massive Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fan, and had been eagerly awaiting the final part of the Wright/Pegg/Frost "Cornetto Trilogy" as soon as I heard about it.

The idea itself is sound. A revisited pub crawl over 20 years after the original; the town is not quite what it used to be and aliens are involved. The cast is excellent; Pegg & Frost are back as you would expect, and there are welcome additions in the form of Paddy Considine, Martin Freeman, Eddie Marsan, Rosamund Pike, Piers Brosnan and David Bradley. So much promise.

However, such promise can easily end. And it does. The scriptwriting is very poor. Sure, there are some funny one-liners, but this isn't anything like as good as Fuzz or Shaun. It's almost like the trio rushed this into production before it lost its appeal. World's End appears to be a first draft rather than a finished product. And we need to add the this what I consider to be the main problem with the film: Simon Pegg's character Gary King is a grade A arsehole. What made the other two Cornetto films so much fun is that the main character had something to champion: in Shaun you had the bumbling ex-boyfriend who tried to put things right. With Fuzz, Nick Angel was the top of the class cop with morals, someone to root for. Gary King is the person you'd cross the street to avoid, especially using the excuse that his Mum had died just to get his former mates out for a drink. You genuinely don't give a damn what happens to him because he's such a prick, and not in a funny way.

The film just doesn't flow at all; it is disjointed and actually pretty boring for the first 45 minutes. Then the last hour is all a bit too weird and not very well thought out at all. The ending where the aliens leave smacks of "we couldn't think what else to do".

I am so disappointed that after the triumph of the previous two, our beloved trio came up with this. It was "that difficult third album" for them and doesn't work at all. The sad thing is, it has no doubt become a popular film BECAUSE it's the third in the "trilogy".

I really wished that they had taken more time with this. Sadly it can't hold a candle to Fuzz & Shaun. It will not be added to my movie collection, that's for sure.

RoboCop (2014)

Roboflop. Why did they bother???

[4/10 · 11 February 2014]

I went to the reboot of Robocop last night against my better judgement, and oh my word what a big pile of doo-doo it was. It is loosely based on the original, with a fair few technology updates. It naturally has a few action sequences but these are so obviously CGI they're just not worth banging on about. There were a few half-hearted nods to the original which basically told me "This should keep the fan boys happy". Trust me; they won't.

Add to this that Joel Kinnaman is so boring and bereft of emotion BEFORE he is transformed into the "tin man", and the fact that the supporting cast, despite a few big names, are so bland they could have been played by anyone; it all adds up to a big pile of nothingness. Michael Keaton practically phones his performance in, Gary Oldman looks like he's just going through the motions, Jennifer Ehle looks like she can't be bothered and Abbie Cornish has all the character of beige paint. The only person in this film who appears to be marginally amusing is Jay Baruchel and he's hardly in it. Even the ED-209s are boring.

There is a distinct lack of urgency; there were virtually no good one-liners (Jay Baruchel had about the only one) and even Samuel L Jackson (with "interesting" hair) had his favourite word bleeped as a TV presenter. The main criminal in the film is also so utterly faceless I genuinely can't remember what he looked like or who he was. It's poorly put together and above all, there's just no incentive to watch. They've left it open for a sequel. Oh dear.

Watch the original. It's dated, sure. But it is SO much more fun.

Filth (I) (2013)

Garbage. Waste of 2 hours of my time!

[2/10 · 14 October 2013]

I have just had the misfortune of seeing Filth. I am no fan of James McAvoy, but the thought of him playing a bi-polar, drug-taking cop on the verge of promotion seemed good for a laugh.

The film seemed quite entertaining for the first 30 or so minutes, then it degenerated into a heaving mass of shock tactics, sex scenes, seedy clubs, more drug-taking, hallucinations and swearing.

It's a horrible mish-mash of nothingness; I genuinely wanted to give McAvoy the chance to shine. Instead, this film just tries to be "the new Trainspotting", but in truth it is NOTHING like that. At several points I thought to myself "Oh, they're going to end it here". Instead it went on. And on. And on.

I am no prude and like a good amount of bad language, black comedy but this fails to hit the target in a huge way. It's so far of the mark it's much like an throwing a dart without a flight. You KNOW that it won't hit the bullseye.

Please avoid, I beg you. 2/10

Rush (I) (2013)

I Was Genuinely Gripped From Start To Finish

[10/10 · 17 September 2013]

I am a huge F1 fan and have been since the early 80s. It is very rare that I find any film that I can find little fault with, but this is one such movie.

Historical nuts may take umbridge that the film is not 100% geek-accurate and correct (most films seldom are) but I was very happy with what Ron Howard has done here (I am one such geek!). The casting is so spot on that you genuinely believe that it is Niki Lauda and James Hunt. Chris Hemsworth was never going to quite get Hunt's public school boy accent absolutely bang on but he's done a cracking job nevertheless, and Daniel Bruhl is quite simply spectacular as the matter of fact, calculating Lauda.

The race scenes are particularly realistic and it's great to see that genuine period F1 cars were used in the filming rather than the generic "racing cars" one normally sees. The film brings home the danger that these drivers put themselves in during the 70s; Lauda's crash is particularly graphic, being seen from both an outside vantage point and the driver's point of view. There are enough grisly bits to make you wince but you do realise the driving force behind why they did it.

The support cast is also fantastic; Lord Hesketh is EXACTLY like real life, and the likeness of the actor playing Clay Regazzoni is uncanny. Olivia Wilde, playing Hunt's wife Suzy, is smouldering and has an excellent English accent.

Ron Howard has always been about telling an accurate true-life story which keeps you glued to your seat, and here he tells a story of two World Champions the way it should be done. Even if you don't like Formula 1, this is a MUST SEE film. It will be worth it - it is the best film I have seen in 10 years.

Bullet to the Head (2012)

Neither the Charm of the 80s nor the Slickness of Today. AVOID!

[3/10 · 26 August 2013]

Oh dear. Well, it is a Stallone film, so you'd expect at least to have a bit of fun. Sadly, you don't get that at all. There's lots of gruesome action & executions (I usually like a bit of action, but this just seems a bit gratuitous & unnecessary throughout). The only good thing in this film is Momoa, playing a psychotic ex-mercenary.

The other characters are either so bland they might as well be played by anyone (the two main police detectives and Sung Kang's character) or so dislike-able you really don't care what happens to them (Stallone).

Add to this a plot which makes not much sense and you have a really flawed movie. If people like buddy-buddy movies I'd suggest re-watching a Lethal Weapon or even something so terrible as Showdown in Little Tokyo. They're better...

The Sweeney (2012)

So Glad I Didn't Pay To See This...

[3/10 · 26 August 2013]

My my. You could tell this was directed by a mate of Danny Dyer's. The film itself was so far removed from anything that would happen in the real world it was laughable.

Ray Winstone as Regan was basically Ray Winstone i.e. he went around calling people horrible names and punching or nutting them. The plot was paper thin and there were many examples of "how could they be so thick??!!" coming from my sofa.

Decision making by the characters was just plain ridiculous and then there were the continuity errors and/or just generally stupid mistakes. Regan is on the way to a bank robbery; it is the morning and the bank is open. Somehow he is able to drive along the Embankment in London at 60+mph and there is NO traffic. And of course people hid behind cars & furniture during shoot-outs and naturally were completely unharmed.

The only good things in it were Ben Drew (playing himself as usual) and Hayley Atwell (although she should have known better than to take this part). Even Damian Lewis obviously just needed to pay the Gas Bill, as he was utterly anonymous as Haskins.

Please avoid this utter piece of total horse manure. Watch an episode or two of the original TV series with Thaw & Waterman on ITV4. It will be a far better way to spend 2 hours.

Sharktopus (2010 TV Movie)

So, SO bad!

[1/10 · 26 August 2013]

I have to write this review. Simply because, against my better judgement, I watched this. It's is billed as Comedy/Horror on IMDb. I expected it to be quite amusing. Sadly I must report that it is so bad it is not even close to being funny.

Granted the plot is so bonkers that you shouldn't expect realism (A shark crossed with an Octopus being used as a Navy weapon against drug runners is a good pointer here) but there are so many errors, obvious goofs and terrifyingly shonky special effects that it actually becomes painful.

It is an awful film when Eric Roberts is the best actor in it by a country mile and you know he's not even trying. The supporting cast are a bunch of no-hopers not even good enough for a supporting role as a corpse in CSI. The "special" effects are so awful they're not even good enough to be a school project. Add to this the complete ignorance of basic biology and you have something that's not even laughable.

I thought it would be so bad it's good. Unfortunately it really is just... so bad.

I really really wanted to give this a better mark than After Earth but it falls short by a very long chalk. It only gets a 1 out of 10 because I watched it to the end. I wish I hadn't.

The Heat (I) (2013)

Take the Garbage Out, and This Can Go With It.

[3/10 · 26 August 2013]

Against my better judgement I went to see this at the cinema. It is a few amusing lines and situations strung together with some terrible acting, paper-thin plot and a shedload of nothing. Both Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy sleepwalk their way through it and are usually WAY better than this dross. Apart from about 4 or 5 well-placed lines this film would be on a par with After Earth in its awfulness. It is also utterly predictable. And McCarthy's character's low-rent Boston family were so mind-numbingly awful I actually half expected them to be played by Eddie Murphy in heavy make-up.

After 30 minutes I was bored. After an hour I wanted to hurt someone. It is still beyond me why I stayed until the end.

Don't waste your time with this. It will disappoint you. Borrow it on DVD from a friend who's been stupid enough to buy it in a few months. You can then have the satisfaction of giving it back knowing you have never contributed to the coffers of the production company that made it.

After Earth (2013)

Smith Jr in "Can't Act" non-shock!

[2/10 · 26 August 2013]

Please, please, what ever you do, avoid this massive waste of time. It has an utterly predictable plot, one or two good ideas, some reasonable effects but there is a massive problem with it: Jaden Smith has all the acting ability of a bookcase. Will Smith spends most of his role in the film lying down & talking while dear Smithy Junior runs, jumps, falls over and unfortunately does not get ripped to pieces.

I was so undeniably bored during the film I found myself wishing that I could watch Battleship again. It really was that bad. I get the feeling that Will Smith thought it would be a really good idea to showcase his boy in a film they could do together, and nobody in the industry dared to say "Will, seriously mate - your boy is rubbish - he can't act!"

This is the worst film I have seen at the cinema this year by a mile. The only reason I didn't leave early was my mate was giving me a lift.