matrsowner Reviews

San Andreas (2015)

Utter poor CGI driven stinker, without a shred of acting talent

[1/10 · 15 November 2022]

If I wasn't in a hotel room, with zero other English language channels, I'd have never made it past half way.

Utter utter nonsense from start to finish.

Logic, and physics defying situations and attempts to create jeopardy and tension, that fail consistently.

Day After Tomorrow did this concept better, and at least Moonfall was silly and entertaining. This achieves none of those goals.

Paul Giamatti (spelling) is the only saving character and talent, and must include this onto his CV in font size one, lightest of light grey text.

Films driven by CGI, and casting juiced up wrestlers in staring roles, says a lot about both money audiences and the movie industry. One wants a complete brain out experience, and the other just wants cash ....... I know it's not called a movie "industry" without good reason, but come on!!! Please at least try!!

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

Carry On Spying

[4/10 · 3 April 2021]

If Pierce Brosnan had never been the most appalling Bond of them all, then this campest of camp capers would be the sure fire winner of the worst Bond film prize.

Lazenby's performance is wooden, which in no way is meant to be a clumsy innuendo of the kind that is riddled throughout the film.

It's saved from a one out of ten by actually having an underlying entertaining storyline, and some genuinely breathtaking action set pieces (if you ignore the blue/green screen and continuity blunders in the dents and damages to the cars)

Halloween (I) (2018)

Terminator 2 ....... 2

[5/10 · 12 June 2020]

A bit of an insult to the original film, however a mediocre bit of brain out entertainment if you're really bored one evening.

The whole film felt like a remake of Terminator 2 with a different cast, even to the point that the villain character was melted at the end.

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)

Utter utter nonsense

[1/10 · 17 January 2020]

The first film was pretty good, with a reasonable story.

Second film was weak.

This is just complete garbage.

Why are people ranking it so high?

Two hours of silly choreographed fight scenes in different settings and location.

The normal rubbish of gangs of assailants taking it in turns to attack the main protagonists, without ever firing a bullet straight, and those same protagonists being hit by vehicles, sustaining falls, punches, kicks and blows that should hospitalise them, yet sustaining no injury.

Accepting that belief needs suspending from time to time. This garbage is to "brain out", that to enjoy it, you're going to need a two gallon jar.

Project Almanac (2015)

Nice take on the time travel story

[8/10 · 9 January 2020]

I'm a sucker for a time travel movie, and this one is pretty good.

It shows a group doing the kinda things that normal people would do with this kind of power, and the problems they'd cause.

It acknowledges and has plenty of Easter eggs for other time travel films.

It's not Primer, but it's not trying to be ..... it's kinda Primer meets Chronical meets American Pie :-D

The Irishman (2019)

Long, boring and not worth bothering with.

[3/10 · 5 January 2020]

Scorsese, DeNiro, Pacino, Pesci. Those who're rating this film as 10/10 are falling for the silk and gold of those names in a true Emperor's new clothes trick.

It's not a poor story, or lacking good performances, it just lacks any tension, drama, or entertainment ...... even if it were a pure documentary, it'd be closed out in two hours tops.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

What a load on nonsense

[3/10 · 12 October 2019]

If there was any more CGI, they might as well have made a cartoon.

The dialog and delivery was just cheesy.

Given the massive variety of powers, strengths and vulnerabilities of the characters, there should have been plenty of the more human based ones that were crushed or crippled if they were subjected to the brutal fights.

I get that it's a comic book film, and disbelief needs suspending, but this was just utter cr@p

Ad Astra (2019)

A shame, as I can see what they were trying to achieve

[2/10 · 1 October 2019]

Has reasonably high hopes for this, given the quality of the cast, and the promise of realism in the physics and representation of space travel.

What I got was tedium of dull characters, silly storyline, extreme close ups of pensive faces, and a monotonous monologue narration.

Trying so hard to take elements of Apocalypse Now, 2001, Total Recall, Event Horizon, Gattaca, and Interstellar, and failing consistently throughout.

At no point will you get any kind of bond with any of the characters, or really care what the ultimate outcome ends up being ........ just so long as it comes soon, please!!!!!!!

The Lost Boys (1987)

Vampire Masterpiece

[10/10 · 8 July 2019]

The Lost Boys couldn't be more 80s if it tried, but that's simply because that was when it was made. It's not corny or cliche, rather it's of its time and as cool as an 80s film can get. The bikes, the wardrobe, the soundtrack! All perfectly judged and executed.

Maybe one of the best vampire films ever made, with enough comedy elements to lift the entertainment, without diluting the story or the tension.

In case you haven't guessed, it's one of my favourites, that I've watched dozens of times since a child, and never tire of.

"You're a vampire Michael. You wait until mom hears about this!!"

Miami Vice (2006)

The best chef and the best ingredients can't quite deliver

[6/10 · 23 June 2019]

I soooo wanted this to be a great film, as a fan of Michael Mann films, and his original TV series alike.

The cinematography is stunning, the soundtrack is on point (pun intended), the casting is excellent, and the performances are all good. Sure, the story is a little weak, but surely that can't be the only reason for the film being so disappointing.

I've watched this film many times, each time hoping for it to be the genius of Heat applied to the characters from the TV series. How it's meant to suddenly become this, I've no idea, but I feel I can't give up on it.

I'd recommend this to anyone to watch to anyone who's a fan of the show or Mann's work, but this simply isn't close to Heat, Manhunter, Collateral.

The Cured (2017)

Intelligent and Chilling

[8/10 · 22 February 2019]

If you're looking for the typical survival road trip splat fest, you're going to be disappointed and will score this less than five out of ten.

That's not what this film is, and it's all the better for it.

This is a fantastic diversion from the norm for the genre, and genuinely thought provoking.

The Innocent Man (2018)

Fascinating story told in a frustrating, USA way

[7/10 · 13 January 2019]

Really interesting stories of two tragic murders.

Chops back and forth between the cases in an unnecessarily confusing way at points, and goes over and over and over the same details far too often. Could have been covered in half the duration.

I get that they want to make their point and case for the story, however the borderline Michael Moore rabbit punch crescendo in the finale is unnecessary. Ironic that they want to make a case that only a small proportion of the evidence made it to the trial, whilst wanting the viewer to make their decision based on their cherrypicked highlighted sentences of evidence.

Definitely glad I persevered, albeit I'll not revisit.

Bird Box (2018)

Enjoyed, however left too many unanswered questions

[5/10 · 6 January 2019]

Really liked this film, and it took many positive points from other films to create something genuinely interesting and fresh.

Without risking any spoilers, I felt that I was lacking closure on many points of the story, however.

Unanswered questions that didn't so much leave room for a sequel (they didn't!), rather just should have been given more focus in the available time.

Project Almanac (2015)

Time travel films are my favourite. This one little more than average.

[8/10 · 2 August 2018]

Hated all the jiggly camera rubbish.

Liked the basic storyline and reasonably clever ripple effects.

If you just want a teen entertainment time travel film, The Butterfly Effect does it better.

If you want a really great time travel film, then you need to watch the Spanish film Time Crimes, or better still the low budget masterpiece Primer.

Event Horizon (1997)

Ignore all of the "1" reviews which this films attracts

[9/10 · 24 July 2018]

Interesting reading through the reviews on this film. They're a mixture of sensible reviews from people who've watched the film and been happy to suspend some disbelief, and then all the conspiracy of "1"s that come across as people ganging up on the film.

Yes, it takes inspiration from greats of sci-fi and horror, and quite unashably in many ways, and the science and ship design are a bit flawed if you're interested in spacecraft construction, however look past that and it's a really entertaining film.

Strong cast and a great feeling of claustrophobia created throughout.

Who Is America? (2018)

Hilarious and Scary

[9/10 · 24 July 2018]

Absolutely amazing what SBC gets away with, and utterly shocking what people can be led to do and say.

Whilst there are scary people across the globe, the Americans in this show are in a league of their own.

The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)

Wants so badly to be Event Horizon

[4/10 · 5 May 2018]

There are a lot of one out of ten reviews here, which is unfair, as it's not that bad.

Sure, the science fiction leans way to far towards fiction, and simple things like the way the gravity is portrayed niggles throughout.

Event Horizon remains my choice of sci-fi dimension hopping film, and this adds nothing to the concept.

Don't avoid watching it because of the reviews, just don't expect too much, and you'll be fine.