brianwolters Reviews

V (1984–1985)

A Good Start That Ran Out Of Ideas

[7/10 · 10 February 2013]

V: The Series was a very odd television show. First, The Final Battle ended and it was a very satisfying end to the 10 hour miniseries. We really didn't more to this story. However, this weekly series did actually made some interesting points to the ongoing story but it was soon abandoned as well as most of the originally cohesive cast.

The series starts out about a year later and we soon see that Diana and the fleet wants revenge over the red dust. As we soon find out, the dust loses its effect and really can't be used anymore, so the visitors patiently wait for the dusts effects to cease. This sets up many good episodes about the visitors regaining control. However, gone is the Nazi allegory and it therefore goes for power and corruption plots all the while the resistance is back to fight the Visitor's once again.

I found myself really enjoying many episodes. It was a little uneven at first but it began to pick up. Yes, it was filled with "cheese" (especially the first 2/3 of the seasons opening credits music) but it was often engrossing. The FREEDOM NETWORK added a sense of continuity to the show and it was a nice touch. The acting was solid, Diana was as nasty as ever and they took chances and killed off regulars and that added to the dramatic impact. The Nathan Bates subplots were actually interesting and you really began to hate Mr. Chang. Michael Ironside was also very fun to watch. And the "soap opera" of "Charles and Diana" was also very entertaining.

However, as it went on toward the last 1/3 of the season, the series started falling apart by the seams. While the series was starting to find its groove, they took too many chances and kind of dug themselves in a hole and they ran out of creative juices. The idea of the resistance always winning and episodes ending with showing Diana dejected began to run thin. And poor Willy. They just beat us over the head with his butchering of the English language and making him the buffoon which was a shame, because he was such a charming character and performed well. The special effects were reused over and over again. The campiness factor of eating rodents was way over done and all originality that they could have tried for just went away.

Then, when we get the new (and improved) credit sequence, the show pretty much became a chore to sit through. Gone are some of the better and well acted characters. And the plots became paper thin and were filled with "filler" scenes where you just feel they were making it up as they went along. Add in "romantic flashback" scenes, illogical situations, cheesy actors making guest appearances and you can see that because of the daring chances they took with the series at the first, they were left with pretty much nothing. The acting also suffered, especially Faye Grant, in which she gave very uneven performances toward the end, especially in the dreadful episode "The Secret Underground". That episode was the worst in the entire run. The show ended with the Episode "The Return" and it actually felt like it would redeem itself but by then, it was too late. There was no saving "V."

This DVD collection of V: The Series is no frills. They put episodes on both sides of the DVD, making this a 3 DVD collection. Box is nice looking with good shots of some of the cast but nothing extra comes with it. The picture and sound quality of this collection is about as good as you would expect from an early 80's show.

I had a good time with this series and it was fun to see how it played out up to the unresolved cliffhanger. If you are a V fan, this is still a must have.

War of the Worlds (2005)

Visuals and Terror Scenes Overcome The Mundane

[7/10 · 3 December 2008]

War of the Worlds is a visually stunning and ultimately terrifying film about encounters with ruthless invaders. While I praise this film for the alien scenes and plot, the rest is so mundane and negative that it almost ruins the movie.

The movie introduces is to Ray (Tom Cruise) and his ex-wife and kids. He is to watch the kids while his ex-wife is away for the weekend. During this time, Ray encounters a massive and strange electric storm and later on discovers it triggered massive machines buried underground that start destroying or harvesting man.

I have to say that the first encounter with the tripod is an amazing scene. When it finally stands erect and emits it's terrifying sound before battle, I couldn't help but feel an immense dread at the events that were to lie ahead. This is very effective movie making and right away put me in the place of the characters.

The film basically tries to top each encounter and it succeeds nicely. The next time we see a Tripod, it stands ominously over a town near the ferry. Once again, we hear the terrifying battle call of the tripod before it attacks and the panic swells. Moving on, we are treated with a Tripod under the water and then an amazing scene of several of them wrecking havoc on the town and people running for safety. The next time we see them is one of the most bizarre and terrifying moments in the movie, as they emit even stranger sounds as they do something to the soil for long periods of time. This mechanical noise as they did this was very unsettling and could drive anyone to panic. Beyond the probe and alien scenes (which were also effective), we are treated up close and personal to the cage and the organic looking insertion tube where the humans are processed. This is all amazingly good and terrifying stuff.

As far as the rest of the film, the characters are just not likable to care much about. Yes, I know there is divorce in the world but why do we always need broken marriages in movies? Ray isn't a likable guy and despite his heroics, he still doesn't come across as anything but a loser even at the end of the film. The family scenes, the crowds scenes and the driving scenes were pretty bland and just didn't do much for me. The TV reporter scene (at the plane crash) was very strange and badly acted and only served to help further the plot some. And the scene with Tim Robbins, outside the alien stuff, was just lacking. And the decision for Ray to kill him was just so out there. I know that may be a horror of war but it just didn't seem right. A good smack on the head or something might have sufficed.

The alien attack scenes were very effective and stayed with me for a long time and that carried the movie over the mundane family scenes. That alone makes this movie one of the best alien invasion movies ever made.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Despite Flaws, It Is Hard To Hate

[7/10 · 2 June 2008]

As the credits rolled and the 4th Indiana Jones movie was over, I walked out with a smile on my face. I had a great time and I want to see another Indy film. Yet, I couldn't ignore the several embarrassing moments that this movie had.

The movie wastes no time getting started when we that Indy has been captured by "Reds" to help them find a very magnetized crate containing an alien who has a crystal skull. This skull has special powers and there may be more of them, which then starts the race between them and Indy to find it first.

Despite adding some uneasy sci-fi elements to the Indy universe, I didn't mind the plot at all. The ride from start to finish was fun and I laughed out loud several times and the suspense scenes that their moments.

Harrison Ford got back into the role just fine. Despite seeing some age in his face and his voice, he was Indy through and through. It was nice seeing him crack the whip, pull down his hat and sleep and many of the other things that made his character so enduring.

Now, I have to comment on the many disappointments and outright embarrassing things about this film. Where do I start? Enough had been said about the "Nuke The Fridge" scene that I won't elaborate further except to say that it wasn't as bad as some of the other problems. I was looking forward to John Hurt being in the film but whoa, what a disappointment. All he got to do was babble and he was comedy relief by accident in most scenes. Why bring Karen Allen back to give her little to do but have one good argument scene with Indy and then just smile a lot? The vine jumping scene might have been better if the effects were done with more skill. And the three waterfalls may have been pushing it some.

I love "escapist" movies and this was another enjoyable Indiana Jones film. I only hope that it can overcome the embarrassing moments and come back for another movie in a few years.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Encounter at Farpoint (1987) Season 1, Episode 1

A Solid but Uneven Start

[6/10 · 12 February 2008]

Encounter at Farpoint had the chore of setting up the characters and settings of the first Trek series since the original. It also introduces Q, who is surrounded by an interesting but thin premise about proving if mankind has changed much throughout history.

I decided recently to go back and watch The Next Generation from the start. Since I have a new baby and a lot of time spent watching or holding her, I had the time. I sometimes cringe at the first season, as some of the costumes were horrible, the acting and characterizations were a little off and the special effects weren't as sharp as they could have been. That said, I was surprised how much this episode and many of the first season offerings did hold up.

Encounter at Farpoint is an entertaining start for Trek but it wasn't completely successful. Q was a great character, it was fun seeing McCoy and a lot of the other characters were well introduced. Troi was horrible and I am glad they eventually got rid of her over emotional empathy. Worf was just a token Klingon who thankfully, became one of the most complex characters through Deep Space Nine. And Yar was one of the most unfocused characters ever created for Trek, this side of Harry Kim from Voyager. The story, while classic Trek, took a backseat to the look and new characters.

This is a good start to the series. Several stinkers were to follow and the uneven second season helped The Next Generation finds its wings though it's run.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)

Still The Best Movie I've Ever Seen

[10/10 · 20 November 2007]

Close Encounters of the Third Kind remains at the top of my list of my all time favorite movies. It has invoked a sense of wonder that no movie has ever come close to. And now that we have the 30th anniversary edition on DVD, we finally get to experience the movie in the original release as well as the two other cuts.

The movie involves the government searching for UFO evidence and the everyday people who see the UFO's who didn't go seeking them. While the government searches merely on scientific facts to make contact, the "everyman" characters develop an artistic talent either through art or music to lead them to contact. Those two sides finally clash before both making contact and realizing how they came together and how they were all "invited" to make contact.

I think what makes this movie so special for me is how little you see of the UFO's during the entire movie and how it affects the characters throughout the film. Then we are rewarded with the best final 20 minutes of any film made since. And the music...not just the "5 notes" but the entire soundtrack by John Williams is so haunting and is a character in itself.

Having the original edition again is a thrill and I believe I have to give it the edge, though the "Director's Cut" is a very close second. The Director's Cut has the better Neary introduction but everything else I like better in the original cut. Don't ask me why, but the pillow scene was always a haunting scene and I liked it. And I like the order of the scenes between Roy and the government officials better. Though, as a whole, the director's cut isn't bad at all, I just like the original. When I was younger, I was thrilled to hear about the Special Edition to see "inside the mothership." And as a kid, I loved those scenes but was so unhappy that the building of Roy's Devil's Tower was left out and as a result, it ruined the movie for me. Now, I am glad the mothership inside scene was removed from the Director's Cut as it does take away the sense of wonder if what it would be like from our minds.

Close Encounters has stood the test of time and it is a film that always will and could never be remade.

Lady in the Water (2006)

Shyamalan's Folly

[2/10 · 24 July 2006]

I would first like to say that I am a huge M. Night Shyamalan fan. I didn't see Sixth Sense until it was on DVD and once I did, I was hooked. I've enjoyed each film he has directed since then, including the much maligned "The Village." I've been eagerly awaiting Lady in the Water ever since I heard about it. The teaser last winter made me even more curious and I couldn't wait for this movie with a sense of wonder. After finally viewing the movie, I have to say that M.Night has a major mess on his hands.

The movie is about an apartment maintenance man named Cleveland Heep whom seems to have a very dull life. He is good at what he does but you can't help but feel that he wants more. One night, when looking for people swimming after hours, he discovers a girl in the pool. Startled and clumsy, he falls into the pool and nearly drowns until he discovers himself back in bed with the girl in his house. She is a Narf from the Blue World who wants to return to her world and avoid the Scrunts (wolf like monster) as she tries to get back via the great eagle. She is to assist Cleveland in assembling a Guild to help her return. Little does Cleveland know that she is also there to help him overcome his grief of losing his family and quitting his job as a doctor. I have a good imagination and I was ready to see how all of this plays out. The child inside me was waiting for a payoff. I am sad to say, I never get it.

The movie is a complete, convoluted mess and a huge failure of execution. Let me begin with the characters. The supporting characters in the movie were annoying stereotypes of all kinds of ethnic backgrounds. The young Asian woman, who conveniently told the story of the Narf's by interpreting for her mother was incredibly annoying. It would seem like if the story needed more explanation, she conveniently shows up to tell us more, even being available while at a dance club. Then we have the guy who is only working out one side of his body. He serves no real purpose until the end and when he does, it is completely laughable and not worth the moment of "awe" as the movie makes it. Then we have the movie critic, who seems to be there to serve as M.Nights poke at critics at his past movies. M.Night is also playing a supporting role but because he is the director who makes clever appearances, I kept waiting for something magical to happen with his character and we don't get it. He needs to stick with Hitchcock like appearances.

The story itself unfolds slowly but when it should be getting more involving and interesting, it simply gets messier. You meet all of the characters in the film and you notice they have certain traits to their personality. Those traits are to be put to use in the Guild that Cleveland is trying to assemble. When it comes time to put it all together, you are waiting for something meaningful to happen and it just doesn't come together. Take the pool party scene. Has there been any scene in the past several years in movies as confusing and perplexing as this? They were there to protect the Lady yet stupid things happen. A girl drops her mirror who is to be watching for the Scrunt. The movie critic shows up and is given horrible dialogue. A band is to be playing inside but doesn't start on time. As a result of the confusion, the Lady is taken by the Scrunt and nearly killed. Then they realize the Guild is not correct and between a kid reading things in cereal boxes and his Dad finding clues in crosswords to shifting people and roles in Guild, I was simply confused because of the poor execution. We finally get one good scene when Cleveland has his catharsis and it was able to induce tears in audience members. But it simply comes back to the standard M.Night protagonist whom is trying to deal with personal tragedies. We saw this in Signs, The Village and again in this film. While that is a good thing to build a movie around, third time around is one too many. Finally, when things do play out as they should, we are scratching our heads and thinking "Are we too stupid to understand this film, or is the film too stupid to understand."

I've noticed many fan reviews of this film and many liked it but I do tend to think they are way to kind to allow M.Night to have a folly. Lady in the Water is his first folly and I hope he will recover and wow us with his next film.

Lost in Space (1965–1968)

A Farcical Fantasy

[26 July 2005]

I've always been a Lost in Space fan. From when I was very young when Mr. Keema scared me when he revealed himself, to rediscovering it in the late 80's to watching it now for the memories, the show has always entertained me. At my younger age, I loved Season 2. As a teen, I loved Season 3 and now, I find that Season 1 was simply the best. On a whole, the series is a classic.

Season 1 opens with 5 dramatic and suspenseful episodes that rival some of the best sci-fi / adventure stories out there. While this isn't "good" science, it is fun. Despite a road bump with "Welcome, Stranger", the first half of Season 1 was very dramatic in its impact. The family had to find food, shelter, water at the same time as battling the unknown and sometimes hostile creatures. Then, the show takes a lurching turn with The Sky Pirate and rarely looks back. From that point on, the focus of the show was "comedic villain" of the week and how Will, Smith and the Robot deal with plot. Despite the format change, the remaining first season episodes still had a lot of charm and excitement to them.

Season 2 picks right up where Season 1 ended, by keeping the "comedic villain" of the week. Despite a 3 episode stretch where you can feel a return to pure adventure, it takes the "comedic villain" of the week formula and adds on farce.

Adventure was at the forefront of Season 2. The opening episode, Blast of Into Space is an episode that rids us of the villain early to focus once again on the plight of their situation. "Wild Adventure", the best of Season 2 and one of the strongest of the series, is a great space bound adventure getting them close to Earth.

From the middle of Forbidden World on, the adventure element was nearly gone and we had fun, comical episodes. The first half of Season 2 is arguably the best. "Prisoners of Space" gave us a break from the visiting villain and while a flashback show, it was fairly riveting for the series. After that, we enter a stretch of bland yet still entertaining episodes. "The Golden Man" featured horrible masks and beach ball bombs but it was one of the stronger shows of the season.

The 2nd 1/2 of the season features 4 stinkers yet in their own way, they are charming. From "The Questing Beat" through "The Space Vikings", we are treated to space fantasy at its most absurd. "The Cave of The Wizards" features some genuine emotion from Smith toward his feelings for the Robinsons and a teaser about a possible lift off from the planet. And two great Robot episodes, "Trip Through the Robot" and "The Mechanical Men".

Season 3 of Lost in Space had a very ambitious start. You could feel the excitement of the new direction the show tried early in this season. From the exciting and grand new theme to actually going into space more often, Season 3 did start out very well.

The third season features some of the best episodes of the third season and a few approach the best or at least the most ambitious of the entire series. We start out with the action packed "Condemned of Space" where we see the Robinson's lift off, dodge a comet, loose the Robot in Space and come across a frozen prison. We move on to "A Visit to a Hostile Planet" where we feature one of the best of the series (though logic is out the window) where our crew returns to Earth of the Past. And even when stuck on a planet for a while, they to attempt new fresh ideas, most notably some bonding between Don and Smith in "Space Primevals." Bad creature effects aside, "Space Creature" gave us one of the deepest Lost in Space episodes to date.

It would seem that toward the middle of season 3, that the writers milked all they could out of the return to action and adventure and had to settle back to farcical fantasy and the results not very good. We get three episodes in a row that pretty much sign the death certificate of the entire series; "A Day at the Zoo", "Two Weeks in Space" which features the Jupiter 2 as a resort for fugitive aliens, complete with a cash register and badminton equipment, and "Castles in Space. If it weren't for the excellent "The Anti-Matter Man", the show could have ended there.

The final stretch of the Lost in Space series is definitely schizophrenic. We get the excellent "Target: Earth" where a group of uniform creatures want to learn to be individuals. Then we lurch over to "Princess of Space". Later we get "The Flaming Planet" had a decent story but the subplot about the radioactive plant was enough to curdle lunch milk a million miles away. "Fugitives in Space" was a different episode that actually felt fresh, despite the weird court they had. Enough has been said about the "Talking Carrot", so we won't even go there. And because of "bad behavior" from the filming of that episode, we rarely see Guy Williams or June Lockheart this season." The Promised Planet" is far from the best ever but it is one of my favorites mainly due to the absurdity of it all.

Could the series have been renewed for a 4th season? The ratings were good and the good episodes far outweighed the bad but alas, it was never meant to be. We bid adieu and farewell to a great series and we can only hope we have a decent revival of the series on TV one day.

Zork: Grand Inquisitor (1997 Video Game)

An Exercise in Wonder and Adventure

[4 January 2005]

Zork Grand Inquisitor is without a doubt the best adventure game ever. If you played the old text versions of Zork, then you will want this game. If you haven't, there is still a lot here to enjoy. The story picks up sometime after magic was banned by the Grand Inquisitor (who insanely says "I am the Boss of YOU.") You eventually meet up with a magician who has been placed into a lantern and off you go to the Great Underground Empire.

The game itself is full of wonder, humor and clever puzzles. The music adds a lot to the locations and brings a sense of wonder to them. You really feel a part of what is going on. The humor is outstanding. There are several pop culture references that you will catch and there are some slapstick jokes. The humor can be best described as a Monty Python/ Saturday Night Live / Mystery Science Theater 3000 type of humor. The puzzles, at times obscure, are always rewarding when you complete them.

Without giving too much away, you will find many moments of awe (humor wise.) There is the talking door, the funny "singing spell names", and listen for David Lander (Squiggy) doing voiceovers for two different characters.

The DVD version is nice to have. First of all, it keeps the game on one disk. However, it has very strict requirements on DVD decoders. If you don't have one of the 4 it lists, the game will play in normal mode. It is hard to find these decoders now days. However, receiving Zork Nemesis with this is a big plus!

This is one game everyone should own.

Logan's Run (1976)

Stunning SCI-FI

[7/10 · 4 January 2005]

Logan's Run is a dazzling sci-fi film. It is set in a very "alien" future of the United States; only everyone is forced to live indoors in a "City of Domes." Society is peaceful and fun loving. When you reach 30, you are to renew your life through a ritual or never live again. The story of Logan's Run is quite frightening. Director Michael Anderson does a fantastic job of keeping the frightening aspects of the story going. From the pleasant yet somewhat menacing voice of the main computer to the idea behind the "Carousel", you never for a minute doubt what is going on and you really pull for the central characters.

The DVD transfer is good, probably as good as they are going to get, because some scenes of the film always looked a little "muddy." The enhanced soundtrack is in Dolby and while not 5.1, is still sounds much better than the VHS. The commentary is good but nothing spectacular. And the widescreen is really nice!

A word of caution. While the film is rated PG, there are several scenes of brief nudity, one of which really doesn't further the plot any and is unnecessary (in fact, in the commentary, the scene takes the director by surprise and he says he forgot about it). The other is an elaborate scene in the "love shop." Despite that, there is very little graphic violence and little to no profanity.

Logan's Run is a solid film. It looks a little dated now, but still entertains!

The Mummy Returns (2001)

Extremely Disappointing

[4/10 · 4 January 2005]

THE MUMMY was a surprise hit in 1999. It at all of the elements of the great INDIANA JONES films with a lot of originality. Plus the characters were all likable and the dialogue was extremely witty. Now, we are presented with THE MUMMY RETURNS, a highly disappointing sequel that is loud, noisy and impersonal. The movie opens with background information on The Scorpion King. This is handled well and this movie could have been just about him. Then, without ever getting a title credit, we move to Egypt of 1933. We already see our heroes stumbling upon relics that relate to The Scorpion King. They find an artifact and take it with them, but unknowingly start a trap. Needless to say, they escape back to London with their son, who places the artifact on his wrist and has 7 days to find The Scorpion Kings lair before he dies. This is an interesting movie itself, but no, we forgot about The Mummy. Well, an Anck-Su-Namun look-a-like and others try to resurrect The Mummy so that he can kill The Scorpion King and be "more powerful." Confused? I sure was.

The plot to THE MUMMY RETURNS is simply a mess. It has too much going on and doesn't stop to let you relate and enjoy the characters. They give you just enough plot to put action sequences around them. The dialogue, while clever at times, is delivered horribly to even attempt to be witty or interesting. Sure, they are saying something but we really don't care, because if it isn't a Mummy soldier chasing them, it is little pigmy skeletons pulling everyone down under the grass similar to the raptor scene in JURASSIC PARK II. The things that made the first one so good (fun characters, good acting) are abandoned for non-stop and numbing action sequences. And on top of that, the movie isn't scary at all. At least the first film had its tense moments. And when the story tries to be tender and serious, you can't help but think, "It'll be OK."

The special effects are also a problem. It seems as if the filmmakers want to show the effects to you so quickly that they abandon all tension or horror that the first film tried. You can help but think of the droid army in THE PHANTOM MENANCE when you see the "dog" army in the desert. How many times do we need to see a mummy or another creature stretch their mouth open wide? It was done a lot in the first film. Seeing it now didn't make it more interesting. And when we finally see The Scorpion King, we are just so overwhelmed that we just want it to be over.

It was fun seeing the characters again and how they changed. O'Connell didn't change much. He was given some parental instincts, but the script made them seem forced. Evelyn is much more physical than she was before. She isn't afraid to make a fist and fight and some of this leads to her interesting past. Jonathan is back but he is given the worst dialogue, so it makes him look even more idiotic. The rest of the cast does a good job but is given little to do, including The Mummy himself.

I just can't help but feel disappointed and bored with THE MUMMY RETURNS. If they had taken the time to stop and let us enjoy the characters rather than the effects, this could have been a better film.

Lost in Space (1998)

Highly Entertaining

[7/10 · 4 January 2005]

Lost in Space is one of those movies where you may not have liked it when you first saw it but when given a 2nd chance, you will find it very entertaining. First of all, the original series was never one to be thought provoking. It was intended to be pure adventure and at the same time be campy fun. Where else could you see people battle a monster and then sit down to milk and cookies? Or better yet, bake a birthday cake for a robot??

That said, you will see some of the same campiness in Lost in Space the movie. The problem is that most people wont expect that and that may turn them off. Expect it and enjoy it.

The movie introduces us to all of the central characters in a hurry, but it works. And as the TV show, they are thrown off course due to Dr. Smith (though his extra weight had nothing to do with it in the film.)

Once they are lost, the movie takes on a life of its own. There is an exciting sequence aboard a derelict ship and an ensuing crash. Once on the planet, the story bogs down in a time travel plot that is confusing, full of holes, yet it holds your interest.

The acting and the choice of actors in the film are among the best aspects of Lost in Space. While I was afraid William Hurt would be miscast, he came off rather well. To me, Gary Oldman, though he was good and had SOME "Smith" qualities to him, came the closest to being miscast. Maybe if by some chance we are given a sequel to this film (which was left VERY WIDE open) Smith will become the "villain" that he was in the original show. I still think Billy Mumy could have been used in a scene later in the movie. Also look for cameo's from the original Penny and Judy and a significant role from the original Don. Also, the voice of the Robot is the same as in the show. That was a nice touch.

The DVD is a pure joy. The sound quality is still one of the best around. The extra's are interesting and there is a lot to see (including some interviews with the original cast.)

Overall, Lost in Space is a lot of fun and it is a film the entire family can enjoy.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Very Uneven

[3/10 · 4 January 2005]

I sat down to A.I. expecting a movie full of wonder and amazement. I got that at times. At other times, I wanted to turn it off. When it was finally over, I really wanted to like this film but I just felt like I was in a ship on stormy seas and was seasick from it all. The movie starts out in a very somber tone. It explains how the earth is suffering the effects of global warming and the creation of robots, specifically one who can love. David, the loving Robot, is purchased by a family whose own son is on life support. Soon enough, the son improves and the mother decides she doesn't need David anymore. So she drops David and Teddy (the best and warmest character in the movie) in the woods and David goes on a journey to become a real boy and to earn the love of his mother.

This is a very sad way to start the film, but it is then that we start to see a little of a "quest" in the movie (a la Wizard of Oz) and it begins to feel magical. Then, we get depressed again as we are introduced to a "pleasure robot" and how a woman is afraid of his "functional abilities." This totally lurches the movie from a kind of magical quality to in your face smut. Then, we see a "flesh fair" in which defective robots are destroyed in an arena to the delight of the humans. Then, we are taken to a city which has buildings in the shapes of women in provocative poses. I knew this was a pet project of Kubrick but I didn't know a lot of his perverted imagery and characters would be included in the film.

Once we get past that, then we have a few more magical moments and then we are introduced to more dark images and finally, more magical moments. By the time it is all over, I was exhausted.

Did I like the movie? I liked the Spielberg "moments" but I disliked the Kubrick ones. This maybe what they had intended but to me, it made for a very uneven and overall unsatisfying film.

Coneheads (1993)

A Pleasant Surprise

[7/10 · 4 January 2005]

Coneheads is one of the best "Saturday Night Live" movies. I was expecting a light comedy but what I got was a whole lot more. Following a similar plot to the skit, Coneheads is the story about the Beldar Conehead family who crash on earth during a scouting mission for planet conquest. While here, they dodge the INS, have a child and discover that life on Earth is quite good.

This is where the movie shows its heart. It could have been a movie of comedy bits but by the end, it is about happiness in a stable family, which is quite refreshing in these days of depressing movies about divorces and unmarried couples. It is nice to see Beldar be a father figure to his daughter rather than the "Let Your Kids Be Who They Are" mentality of these days. The direction of the film in excellent, setting up many nice visual gags and shots that are very impressive for a comedy film. And at times, the film feels "epic" as you see the family on the run from the INS, to moving to the suburbs to returning to their planet.

There are great performances throughout the film and the many cameos are perfect. Look for funny scenes from Jan Hooks, Adam Sandler, Michael Richards, and Garrett Morris. Michelle Burke makes a nice debut as Connie Conehead and I expect to see more of her in the future.

On the surface, this seems like a dumb movie and it has received many poor reviews. But if you sit back and let it take you on an adventure (and if you can keep up with the way the Coneheads use different words for common items) you will be pleasantly surprised.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

Poor Story Redeemed by Character Moments

[5/10 · 4 January 2005]

Star Trek V ranks at or near the bottom of the Trek films for most fans and casual viewers. And upon viewing this on its special edition DVD, my opinion has not changed. This is a film that tries hard but ultimately fails due to poor plotting, sub-par special effects and poor character development. The movie opens with probably the best scene in the film, where you meet Sybok and learn a little about his quest. The visuals alone in the opening shots are very impressive. Then, slowly, scene by scene, the movie falls apart. Yes, there are a few peaks in there, which I will discuss later, but overall, the idea of a "God Like Being" in the center of our galaxy, it just so illogical.

The movie has a lot of embarrassing and just plan bad moments. The first of which is the meeting of three characters who represent the "Planet of Galactic Peace." However, their intro is rushed and these characters are not given any depth at all. Why introduce us to these "important" characters if they care not going to be used in any meaningful (maybe one of them at the end) plot point at all? The direction by William Shatner also seems very uneven. Take the scene with Scotty and Uhura on the bridge. There is a very awkward moment of silence after their main dialogue is over. And the mugging Shatner does when McCoy makes very awkward comments to Spock's story about Sybok is just out of place. And add to that a semi-naked Uhura and Scotty hitting his head for a "Three Stooges" laugh and you begin to sink in your chair. The Klingon plot seems tacked on just to add depth to the story. And by the time we see where the movie is going, we just feel very disappointed and underwhelmed.

That said, I can't help but enjoy the wealth of good character moments in the film. I for one liked the campfire scene and the attempts of deep philosophy about old age and death. I also liked exploring the "pain" of McCoy and Spock and Kirk's insistence that he "needs his pain." While most of the humor was forced and bad, the best had to be the "I could use a shower" scene, which is one of the biggest laughs in all of the Trek films. There were many moments of good direction by Shatner, especially in McCoy's "pain scene." I do sympathize with Shatner a little, when listening to the commentary track, about how this was cut and that was cut but I still think on a whole, this movie was doomed to fail.

The DVD's picture is sharp and the sound is excellent. The extras are quite good but I would have liked more insight as to what went wrong with the film besides tight schedule and budget. Shatner's commentary with his daughter is good but has too many quiet moments. Check out the hidden and brief "comic reel."

At this point in time, I do rank Star Trek V above Nemesis, mainly due to that movie's bad continuity issues but just barely. Still, it is Star Trek and if you like the characters, just sit back, don't expect much and enjoy the show.

Poltergeist III (1988)

Horrible Ending to a good Film Series

[2/10 · 4 January 2005]

Poltergeist III is a bad, bad movie but it has a sort of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" charm to it.

This time, Carol Anne is living in Chicago with her Aunt and Uncle to attend a "gifted" school and the "ghosts" find her. That is the basic plot and given the fact that Kane and his followers went into the light at the end of the 2nd film, having Kane as the "main ghost" made this film fail.

The movie is filled with bad acting and dialogue. Tom Skerritt is just way over the top in his early scenes and gives the worst performance of his career. Nancy Allen doesn't help much and Laura Flynn Boyle was lucky she survived this mess. Then there is the dialogue, which many quotes have become part of my daily life in just the sheer silliness of it all. From "Give Me The Necklace" to "I've got the knowledge and the power" to the bloated face Tangina saying "Outside-In", the movie makes you laugh unintentionally many times. Oh, then there is "The Puddle!","Funny, funnier","We wont harm you..we love you." While over the top, Zelda Rubinstein is the ONLY saving grace in this film. Her presence brings some of the creepiness that this movie needed. Yes, her final scene is pretty bad but here scenes in the middle of the movie are pretty good.

Poltergeist III fails on all fronts but mainly due to the fact that it needed a fresh, new idea for haunting Carol Anne one more time.

Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)

Thin, Scary Sequel

[6/10 · 4 January 2005]

Poltergeist II is a good movie lost in a bad one. The back story to the original film is revealed and it quite good but the movie falls apart when it should deliver.

The film opens up with a Native American being given a "spirit" to help combat a strong presence located back on the property in which the house from the 1st film was located. He senses that the family is in trouble and goes on a search for them.

The movie eventually reveals the real reason behind the first haunting and why the Poltergeists are back again. The movies' main villain is "The Preacher" Kane. He will do anything to get Carol Anne back to lead him and his followers into the light.

All of this is quite interesting but the movie fails to deliver on its premise. For one, there are way too many false scares. Characters dream about being pulled underground by dead bodies. Dead bodies appear in a mirror. Dead bodies which turn out to be closet items appear. This really cheats the audience. Also, take the scene where about 50 ghosts are walking on the lawn. You look at that and get a chill but then, we never see them again. We hear some beating and stomping in the house and that is it. And another scene has a character in grave danger only for it to suddenly go away. Was he actually in trouble? When the ghosts come back, they do so through a plastic toy telephone and Heather O'Rourke delivers a weak "They're Back" line. No where near as chilling as "They're here." The acting in this film is very good and keeps the movie from sinking. Once again, you really feel for these people. JoBeth Williams is effective but not as good as she was in the first film. Julian Beck is quite scary as Kane but he isn't given much to do and the film could have benefited from more scenes with him. Were there some scenes cut out? I would like to see deleted scenes with Kane. And of course, I still think Zelda Rubinstein was born to play Tangina and her presence is always welcome.

The "monster" and the ending of the film feel very rushed as if they had no time to develop them. Don't ask HG Giger to create a monster for a film that will hardly be used. And the final "battle" isn't much at all. It is a convoluted scene of special effects and confused editing.

There is a lot to like in this film, but you will walk away from it feeling empty, especially about the forced "funny" final moments. You get insight to the events from the first film but don't expect new and exciting scares.