batteredcakes Reviews

SX_Tape (2013)

Pretty OK

[6/10 · 26 May 2014]

This actually wasn't a bad movie like what some reviews are saying. It's decent, has suspense, mostly good acting, and decent scares. I did get annoyed of the characters at some point. They were pretty realistic until somewhere in the middle where the characters were just starting to annoy and irritate me. Nice guy chases after (not nice word for chick who sleeps around) scenario to an obnoxious extent. Chick doesn't care, pushes him away for no reason all the time, sleeps with someone else while boyfriend is worried and looks for her then she whines for awhile throughout the movie..."someone needs to shoot her brains out soon" is all I could think about. The nice guy also gets annoying. Wants to leave, whines about wanting to leave, but doesn't and can't take no or leave me alone for an answer. So yes, it can get overly obnoxious towards the end from the middle but this was an entertaining movie with some decent acting and OK story. Watch it if you have nothing else really to watch. Just know, it doesn't live up to the other found footage films like Grave Encounters, Blair Witch Project or a couple of the Paranormal Activity movies.

I Spit on Your Grave 2 (2013)

Better than the first.

[7/10 · 1 April 2014]

This was waaaay better than the first. Kinda slow for awhile but had more...spunk? The chick in the first movie was mostly dazed throughout everything until the end and before everything happened. This chick was alive and kicking throughout the whole movie. They added a twist and a completely new environment and they made it better in the sense that this was more of a revenge movie than the first where the first was pretty much just a rape movie because of how much they prolonged that damn moment. This movie is still disturbing with what happens to the chick BUT they didn't drag out the rape scene as long as the first. They actually shortened it by a lot, but it wasn't all one...long scene. It was like three where they showed the first one but was really short, second one only lasted seconds and the third wasn't even shown. This was more of a movie than the first, it didn't just feel like hardcore porn with barely any gore at the end. This felt like a real movie with pretty awesome revenge in it. This was a revenge movie with some rape, it can be disturbing to a lot of people but this wasn't like the first movie where the first movie felt like a rape movie with some revenge, this movie is a revenge movie with some rape.

Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)

Thought it would be scarier

[6/10 · 1 April 2014]

I really thought this movie was going to be so much scarier, the commercial made it seem scary as hell and the first movie was pretty scary to me so I gave the second one a shot. This movie had it's creepiness, scares and great suspense but I guess once I found out the truth about the ghost, it didn't seem too scary to me at all. Really good plot and twists though!! So I gave it a 6 for that but took away stars because I expected so much more, even my little sister was barely scared during the movie. The sad part is that the showing of the title and music with it was scarier and creepier than the whole movie (sounds weird but yeah), we even tried to hurry up and turn off the movie at the end! All in all, this was a good movie if you didn't have high expectations like I did. I'd say to go right ahead and watch it. It has it's creepy and scary moments and the suspense was really great, these people really knew how to build up suspense scenes.

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Is this a horror comedy?

[4/10 · 1 April 2014]

This movie was one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen. If it was meant to be a horror comedy, then it would fend as OK but just as a horror movie, my god, I really felt like I wasted my time. The whole time I watched it, I laughed and then thought to myself "What in the...f?", because of how ridiculous this movie was. It was only scary in the sense of the pop-ups but then turned into something laughable!! It was an entertaining movie, I'd say to watch it with friends on a movie night, you'll have a lot of laughs and fun times at how ridiculous this movie is. But don't expect a great horror movie, expect a good-time horror-comedy. (Still not sure if it was meant to be comedic or not).

Grave Encounters (2011)

Surprisingly really great!!

[10/10 · 31 March 2014]

When I first saw this movie, I thought it was going to be a bad B-rated movie with horrible acting. When you first watch it, it also almost seems that way but that's because of the "reality show" talk. It also seemed to go pretty slow after awhile, but man, when it starts, it starts and keeps getting scarier, more intense and scary. This turned out to be one of the best horror movies I've seen. It really freaks you out, messes with your mind just like how the people in the movie's minds were messed around with. I think I might've seen a movie like this but this seems to be original? But don't take my word for it, I haven't seen ALL of the horror movies out there so I'm not sure if they took ideas from elsewhere. But as of now, this seems pretty damn original to me. This movie creeped me out so bad, I had nightmares right after. And so did my boyfriend who was trying to say it was dumb and not scary...yeah, guess who was tossing and turning and making loud groans in his sleep? And all I had were night sweats. Turns out the person who says it's the dumbest or not scary, truly thought it was.

I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

Was this supposed to be a revenge movie?

[3/10 · 25 March 2014]

There might be spoilers in this review so be forewarned. This movie, I'm thinking, is supposed to be a revenge movie. This was not a revenge movie. Most of the movie was the rape and freaking foreplay. The revenge only took like 15 min of the movie. Gory? BARELY. The revenge didn't even amount to what they did to her. 15 min. versus 1 hour of rape (including the foreplay)...that does not add up to a revenge movie, especially when you factor in the weak revenge. Most of the deaths were quick. That is not how you would take revenge for all of that fear, anguish, and pain. It was almost too unbearable to watch because of how long the rape was taking or building up to it. Then add the nudity. First, they show you the main character half naked like as if, in a way, she had it coming, strutting around as she did. Then they do the disgusting deeds. Then show her naked for more time after. It was painful to watch the scenes before that, it just felt even weirder to see her naked afterwards. This movie would've been better if the rape scene was not basically half the movie and the revenge was gory-er and longer. If you're going to make a revenge movie with rape involved, make it a revenge movie with rape involved, not a rape movie with some revenge.

Jennifer's Body (2009)

Horrible movie.

[1/10 · 25 March 2014]

A potentially good storyline. Horribly done. The dumbest lines I've ever heard in this movie. I don't even know how this movie got higher reviews than other great horror movies out there. Well, one idea is that people just loved it because of Megan Fox and the other is that the fact that people might also have really dense minds that didn't mind most of the stupidity in this film. Megan Fox did not do a splendid job at acting. This movie seems to aim for very dense minds of teens rather than try to put out a good movie in general. Short lines with some teen humor. This was almost on the verge of a teen horror movie spoof. Sorry, but I've never picked a cast or cast member over acting or a good storyline/plot. If a hot bod really made a good movie, a lot of B-movies out there wouldn't be considered a B-movie. If you want a dumb teen "horror", this movie is for you. If you want an actual horror movie that is good, look elsewhere.

Bob's Burgers (2011– )

I Am In Love With This Show!

[10/10 · 15 July 2013]

This show is just down right funny as hell. I catch every episode and even love watching reruns all the time! This is a unique cartoon, it's about a family...typical cartoon comedy...but with the weirdest thinking kids, a bit too enthusiastic wife and a husband who is as "normal" as could be. Don't know how these kids came to be but the stuff they come up with...well, they would be constant guests on "Kids Say the Darnest Things". More than darnest. Weirdest of the weird. This show makes me laugh out loud the whole time I watch it. Every episode is always unexpected and different. Nothing repetitive, don't know how the writers come up with some of these things, but they are genius. I've never been this obsessive about a show. It's funnier than Family Guy and Family Guy comes up some weird but funny-as-hell scenarios. Family Guy used to be my favorite show but this tops it. It's a lot more "quieter" of a show, which makes it so much more unique. It makes you realize that this show tops it all because it pulls off "everyday" life with weirdness, nothing crazy like a fighting life-size chicken, just three kids who go to school, have some interesting journeys and how the parents react to them. Almost like a Simpsons mixed with Family Guy. It has the "for-the-older" audiences jokes and scenes but does not get too wild like Family Guy. Catch it, catch it, catch it! A must watch!

Devious Maids (2013–2016)

Deliciously Devious :3

[10/10 · 15 July 2013]

I am completely hooked on this series. It is well worth a watch. Starts off strong and keeps getting stronger. The drama gets more intense and much more interesting, and while it does, a mystery is being solved. I do think that the controversy surrounding this show is a bit ignorant. People think, "Oh, why do all the maids have to be Latina?" like as if it's really trying to exaggerate the fact that "all maids are Latinas" or vice versa, or the fact that all Latina women can only land stereotypical roles like being a maid. Have we not grown from thinking this way? Can we not just enjoy the fact that they have a show, with an all Latina cast, that is very enjoyable to watch? I think we have all risen from the ignorant, one-sided thinking of "all Latinas are maids"...or at least most us should have. This is a fun show to watch and follow. It shows that Latina women, even with being a maid, can be devious, have another side to them, have excitement in their life. They are not your Latina "stereotypical" maids. This show breaks the ties from your "stereotypical" Latina maid, it helps you realize that there are all different types of Latina women, and different types of maids. I'm pretty sure people don't think of all French maids as White, blonde women with short uniforms that always carry a feather duster around, so why not help break away the "stereotypical" Latina maids thought process by having a show that does just that. These characters have great minds and it's great to see a show with more than just only white people as the main cast (no offense). It's a nice, new change of pace. Why can't we all be happy that Latinas are getting more recognition, they are ruling a whole TV series in a "White-dominate" Hollywood. Yes, there are many multi-cultural actors and actresses in Hollywood, but have you seen a show where the main cast are all one culture that is not "White", or a movie? People have also commented "why can't they be lawyers or doctors, why do they have to be maids"? So only doctors and lawyers can be devious, be intelligent and have interesting lives? Are maids not allowed to have these personalities and traits too? Are maids only supposed to clean and that's all there is to them? This show is breaking boundaries. It shows Latinas have all different types of struggles and problems, not just the "cross the border, get a job, find a home and hope you don't get deported" struggle that every other show depicts. Why do we always have to find some type of controversy involving everything? All of these actresses have been successful in various roles that aren't maids, so how is this showing that Latina actresses can only land stereotypical roles? Watch this show with interest, not skepticism on whether or not this show is "racist". I highly enjoy it and hopefully, you will too. I will be following this show to the end, because I love the show, the script, and the plot, whether or not the cast is all White or all Latina.