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House of the Dragon: The Heirs of the Dragon (2022)
Engaging but Thrones' embarrassing ending still hangs over everything.
First impressions? It strikes a tone reminiscent of Thrones at it's absolute best. Paddy Considine steals the show in this first episode, but the rest of the cast look poised to quickly become future obsessions of the same ilk as Jon, Daenerys and Tyrion.
As a Thrones super-fan who was completely devastated by the inept, careless and downright disrespectful way D&D ended that series, I'm admittedly going to be struggling to appreciate this series for what it is. While there's still a bitter taste there, this first episode of House of the Dragon does feel like it could begin to cleanse the palate.
Hollow Knight (2017)
Reviews really threw me off.
I'm a couple hours into Hollow Knight on Switch and while I admit that the art style is captivating, there is nothing about the gameplay that is compelling me to continue moving forward. I genuinely don't see why this game is so acclaimed. I'm not really getting the story, I'm never sure what I'm supposed to be doing other than just sort of aimlessly jumping from platform to platform and I have no concept of where I am or where I've been. Kinda wish I had spent my money on something else.
1000-lb Sisters (2020)
I also usually hate TLC programming but...
It's a show about a couple of impoverished simpletons who are good people but clearly have some inner demons that lead to food addiction... I generally don't find this show exploitative like most TLC Shows and the focus really seems to be on their journey to better health (with one having a lot more success than the other at this point). It's obviously not art by any means but the whole family is really a cast of characters that make me smile every week.
Dexter: New Blood: Sins of the Father (2022)
I can't think of a very good ending either.
I kinda just think there's no ending you could write for this character that would completely satisfy most fans. While my mind isn't blown by this one, I'm personally satisfied. As far as the season overall goes, though, it was totally worth it! Very entertained and was pumped every week to have my favourite serial killer back one last time. This is probably the best season after seasons 1-4 which were masterpieces.
Wouldn't be mad if they wrote a prequel to this season...
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
I could nitpick but I won't. My heart is too full.
I'm not gonna spoil anything or dissect the plot like I would with probably any other Marvel movie. Like ignoring the calories in a Baconator, sometimes you just have to let yourself enjoy it. It's good for the soul. I'm satisfied.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Middle-of-the-pack MCU film.
There's a lot to love about Shang-Chi. There's also a lot to grimace about. Both feelings lurk beneath the surface and draw awareness to themselves at various times, creating a wishy-washy overall impact.
Where I'm critical? There's a bit of a haphazard pace to this film. Many scenes contain plot points and/or action sequences that are unbalanced in terms of what is glossed over and what is overly drawn out. There were serious opportunities to do some world building with the new ingredients provided by the vigorously refreshing Asian cultural influence, but it felt like director Destin Daniel Cretton was often going through the motions, checking boxes like he was playing Marvel bingo. The climax, while visually appealing, was predictable from moment to moment and really did not have me on the edge of my seat. Tony Chiu-Wai Leung's villain also didn't quite stick the landing with me, though I've read that his character has really resonated with Asian audience members so I'll humbly accept that maybe his motives lay just a bit outside of my perspective. There were also several "oh, okay, sure" moments, lets call them, but a least the writers had the modesty to poke fun at themselves (see: Katy's awe at her own random overnight mastery of a certain skill later in the film).
What I really enjoyed? The cast and characters, first of all. Marvel almost always gets this right. Awkwafina's charisma is palpable. Her character, Katy, never gets in the way of Shang-Chi's natural progression and is genuinely interesting in her own right. I also appreciate the writers' restraint in not simply using her as something to be exploited by the villains to distract/misdirect Shang-Chi. Meng'er Zhang is also a revelation as Xialing, Shang-Chi's scorned, steely sister. Although, a bit more clarity on what her characters' ultimate goals are would have gone a long way as her post-credits appearance left me a bit confused as to where she stands in the greater story. In regards to Simu Liu, I personally felt like he got a bit hoodwinked by the writers who really didn't give Shang-Chi a strong personality other than kicking butt. Regardless, I totally praise his performance and find him endearing to no end. I have faith that he'll really shine when he's plopped into the dynamic of the Avengers. As an aside, just wanted to give an obligatory shoutout to the visual effects and concept designs of the mythical creatures and surreal locations in the film. They really nailed it.
To that end, a completely worthy addition to the MCU that sometimes feels like it's only purpose was to introduce us to the new toy in the Marvel universe that is "the ten rings" themselves.
I Care a Lot (2020)
I don't normally go against the grain with reviews...
I found this movie to be darkly funny, engaging and an interesting commentary on American elder care, conservatorship rackets and how far pure capitalism can pull someone away from all sense of humanity and empathy.
It is, frankly, a completely bombastic film, but where all the negative reviewers saw the plot as being unrealistic and stupid, I saw tongue-in-cheek lambasting of the status quo and an almost slapstick navigation of plot points. Think of a movie about one of the bosses from Horrible Bosses, except their tyranny lands them in hot water with someone a little scarier than their idiot employees.
I think if I could fault anything about the film, it's that clearly people had no frame of reference for what to expect. I'd say poor marketing is to blame. Usually when I see people post a positive review on an obviously crappy movie, I assume they're an idiot. So I'm aware how this looks... but I honestly advise whomever might be reading this to give it a chance. Violent, dark, witty dialogue, great acting, straight-forward plot, satisfying ending... I liked it!
New Pokémon Snap (2021)
Soulless. Bland. Slow.
As with Pokémon Sword and Shield, Nintendo wastes little time letting you know that you made a mistake buying the game with the hopes of recapturing the wonder and joy you felt playing these games as a kid.
Instead of pester balls (which, in the original, were used to elicit new behaviours, reactions and as a puzzle-solving tool), we are now given "illumina orbs" (which need to be unlocked individually on each island). The illumina orb system is basically the same as the pester ball system except there is really no indication as to what the hell it does in any given situation. Sometimes you throw one at a Pokemon and it will react. Other times, it will simply explode in the Pokémon's face and it won't react or do anything at all. You can throw it at the Crystabloom plants from which the orbs derive, making them glow, which sometimes causes the environment to become alight and any Pokémon nearby to react accordingly and, again, other times, apparently doesn't do anything at all.
With a seemingly infinite number of Pokémon now to choose from, one would think that repeating the same ones in multiple levels would be easily avoidable. Alas, you can expect to replay one level a couple times, looking to get a great shot of one Pokémon or another, only to find that the same Pokémon willingly presents itself on the next course for an easy shot for which Professor Mirror (who???) will give the player a diamond rating on a star system in which 1 star is the lowest, 4 stars is the highest and each number of stars receives an individual score that will determine if they're bronze stars, silver stars, gold stars or diamond stars. Because more complicated means more fun, right? If there was anything that needed changing from the last game, it was Professor Oak's charming rating system. People hated it! Is my sarcasm font working?
Nintendo clearly had no idea how to make this game longer/worth buying without making it more repetitive, grindy, slower and incomprehensible. And make no mistake, it's not worth buying at full price. It'll be on the clearance rack in no time. Wait until then, if you simply have to play it.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
About to make my own damn cut.
There just HAS to be a happy medium between the theatrical release and this overstuffed burrito of a film. Don't get me wrong - this is definitely the better version and I love the idea of sticking it to WB, Geoff Johns and Joss Whedon as much as the next nerd but frankly neither director found a way to turn this mess into something digestible.
The cancer that plagued the theatrical cut has only metastasized in the Snyder cut. Both command the viewer to just pretty please understand how high the stakes are. Where there should be drama and tension, there's mindless action and exposition. The "superhero moments" don't hit. Every single scene overstays it's welcome and levity has been completely shoehorned into the clumsiest places. Such an exhausting... I want to say disappointment but frankly I wasn't expecting it to be particularly good to begin with.
Thanks for more Cyborg and Flash, though. Let the "not helpful" votes begin!
P.S. sweet Jesus just shoot the DCEU into the sun and start again. It's okay to admit that you've fudged it up to this point. The characters deserve better.
Game of Thrones: The Bells (2019)
I didn't feel a thing.
I have a headache.
Not from my mind being blown, unfortunately. I'm just dejected. If Daenerys is going to spend 7 seasons posing as the saviour of the people, you better damn-well convince me that her descent into madness is tragic. Give me a good reason. This character has earned the audience having some sympathy with her, even if she turns evil. I didn't expect to have any sympathy for Cersei in the end, but I did. I really didn't want to, though. I wanted to hate her in her last moments, a-la Joffrey. But somehow the writers found a way to suck the joy even out of that.
This episode isn't *bad*, the writers just didn't earn it. What turned Daenerys? Missandei's death? Sure, maybe if it wasn't such an eye-roll moment, I could see that. Jorah's death? I don't see how she could hold that one against anyone in particular. Rhaegal's death? I mean you should have seen the Iron fleet just sitting there. Jon telling Sansa his secret? Give me a break, he's still committed to serving you and rejects the throne even though he has a better claim.
I don't disagree with many of the decisions D&D made in terms of character fates, surprisingly. Even when Arya killed the Night King, I thought, I'd be totally cool with this if there was any reasoning for that decision other than "because she's a bad-ass." The Hound didn't need to die, but if he was going to die, doing it by killing his dead brother is a fair way, at least, to wrap up his character arc. Varys deserved better. Straight-up. One of the best characters on the show just Thanos-snapped out of existence. And again, I have no problem with Dany going all Anakin Skywalker.. but it needs to be heartbreaking. It just wasn't. None of this is.
And that's the worst part.