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claymation69
Reviews
The Ring (2002)
Dated as of April 16, 2005
First of all, I don't get it. I've seen plenty of horror movies, all surpassing the scariness of this movie. This movie just isn't scary to me. First of all, I only counted about five scenes of actual scariness. The ending was a joke, so bad that I didn't even need to hide my eyes. I just seen Amityville Horror and before that I seen The Grudge. I went to the grudge and that movie was pretty much like the ring except the scariness was turned up about 50 decibels, containing about 30 scenes of fright and chills. I went to see Amityville horror and the the scariness is up to 100 decibels, possibly the scariest movie of all time. I challenge anyone to go see these two movies and then, THEN, then tell me The Ring is scarier. I'm sorry, but The Ring is The Hype. Same goes for The Exorcist too.
Fatal Error (1999)
Who thinks of this stupidity
OK, the movie is good but I give it a 1 because the idea of a computer virus becoming an organic virus is pure fairy tale. This kind of crap just adds to those uncomputer savvy moron's paranoid delusions that a computer virus is exactly like an organic virus. First of all, strings of code and dozens of 1s and 0s add up to computer virus. An organic virus is much more complex, even though it's way tinier. Though, it's considered one of the simplest forms in the universe, organic virus's attach burrow into your cells and attach themselves to the RNA, then change your own RNA code. Explain to me how something like that could be processed from a monitor? Maybe the radiation has some effect on the user's cornea that turns your eyeballs into these viruses? I could see that, but obviously, the writer didn't think of that.
Sapphire Girls (2003)
Where's the sex???
First of all! This movie seems like a porn movie.
Second of all! Where is the sex??
Third of all! I've seen Jodie Moore, Marey Carey and that Japanese girl do xxx.
Fourth of all! The movie looks like it was a xxx movie that had the sex scenes cut out (anyone see Major Rock)
Fifth of all!! If there is a xxx version or a harder version of the one I've scene please email me at claymation39@bresnan.net to let me know.
good movie and everything but I think they should have revolved it around hypnosis more, having the girls do more wilder and crazier stuff, maybe at the end having it back fire and some of those drugs winds up in the punch.
The Hazing (2004)
GREAT! Please don't listen to Hazy's review.
OK, movies are designed for different types of people. If a critic gives a movie a bad review, we all think the movie is a bad movie too. But what people don't know, critics are people too with their own tastes. Well, in my own opinion, try this movie out to see if you like it. Not everyone wants onions on their burgers; I happen to be one of those types that does. Here's a great idea for anyone to pick up! How about a review section that reviews critics: A Critic's Critique. Then we can read what others think about what the critic has said so we can make up our own minds more efficiently. OK, enough with telling everyone to have an open mind. On to my review of the movie. First of all, more nudity. Second of all, the nudity already in it was great. I give a star for trying to get the main actresses naked. I give a star for the tongue lashing scene (not enough tentacle action going on in movies... someone please make some American versions of these hentai movies out there)
a. I read an interview with Rolfe Kanefsky saying that Nectar Rose didn't agree to doing a nude scene with the tongue. I think if you're going to show any nudity, you do it all the way or don't do it anyway. And if you don't do it, get another actress that will. Sorry Nectar, but the world is full of other girls who will do more with less money. I give a star for having Brad Dourif in the movie. I give a star for having Brooke Burke in the movie. I subtract a star for Brooke not doing a nude scene. I give a star for excellent cinematography (hope I spelled that right) I give a star for breaking boundaries.
a. I love to see movies take genres and push them over the edge. This movie does that with the Hell Night type feel and mashing it with the Evil Dead possession. On top of that, the whole story revolves around taking stereotypes and making them into real people that I see everyday on my way to work. (excellent script job)
SOMEONE!! PLEASE!! Rolfe Kanefsky is ready for you to invest a little money in. He says he's got A type budget scripts. Please take a look, because I can't wait to see what he puts out next.
Womb Raider (2003)
HOT HOT HOT
OK, the guys who made this movie knew what they were doing, and with a larger budget I wonder what kind of movies they really could make. The cinematography is fantastic (equal to grade A movies). The editing is extremely well done (shots fade and clip to other shots smoothly and follow music well.)
Grade B should not me low budget or bad...humour is a definite plus when making a b movie.
I think this movie was designed to be a B movie because these film makers could easily pull off an A style movie.
This movie is up to par with another independent favorite: Evil Dead.
However, if you're looking for hard core, you might be disappointed. This movie does not have spread eagle leg shots or penetration showing. (Im a huge fan of that, but since the scenes were sooooooo hot, I did not mind sitting through and watching this film from beginning to ending)
GET THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!