rumour-mill Reviews

The Distant Barking of Dogs (2017)

A child's-eye view of rural life close to conflict

[7/10 · 6 May 2024]

This is a quiet, poignant portrait of a family living in Hnutove, close to the frontline of the War in Donbas, Ukraine.

It follows Oleg, a young boy who lives with his grandmother in a small village now largely emptied of residents.

There is little for a young boy to do here, beyond roaming the wide meadows and derelict buildings. But children find a way to entertain themselves, even in the worst of times, as Oleg and his cousin Yarik prove.

His grandmother is the rock of the family, though she still shakes at the sound of bombs dropping nearby (and hides this from the children by keeping her hands busy cleaning). Indeed, in this documentary, the conflict is largely heard and felt, rather than seen. But you sense its ever-present danger, and how that has shaped village life, including Oleg's lessons at school.

The footage is occasionally punctuated by narration from Oleg's grandmother, and I found this particularly insightful:

"War comes with seasons of its own. Like the Harvest Ceasefire, the Beginning of the School Year Ceasefire, and the Easter Ceasefire, too. Hope blossoms again - like greens ready to be.pickled in a glass jar. After the season passes, we savour these memories."

This documentary gives us a glimpse of what it's like to live through these seasons; to be ordinary people in an extraordinary time, "living between two fires". And it's all the more tragic for knowing that in 2017 the worst was yet to come.

The Strain (2014–2017)

A passable vampire horror series that doesn't quite live up to del Toro's reputation

[5/10 · 6 May 2024]

The Strain is a vampire horror series co-written by horror auteur Guillermo del Toro. It tracks the efforts of a rag-tag.assembly of New Yorkers as they fight against a vampiric infection plaguing their city, and the vested interests who wish to stop them.

Unfortunately, I don't think the quality of the show reflects del Toro's usually dependable imagination for horror.

There are commendable elements. The visual effects are good, especially the design of The Master, the gore, and the atmospheric sets.

Where it disappoints is in the uneven acting, the silly dialogue, the pacing, and the characterisation. Our heroes are either boring transplants from a low-budget melodrama (Eph et al), or thinly drawn archetypes (Mexican gang member, Nazi vampire, nefarious super-rich mogul etc.). It feels like an adaptation of a comic book, rather than of a series of novels.

And the horror itself presents diminishing returns. There are only so many times you can show a character naively entering a home to find a loved one infected before it becomes expected. The series drags just when it should be picking up pace. And worst of all: I didn't really care about any of the characters, who are all irritating in their own way.

More intelligent dialogue, better plotting, fewer cliches, and perhaps more humour could have elevated this average effort.

NB: this review was based on season 1 alone.

The Bureau (2015–2020)

A superlative spy drama - one of the best in the genre

[9/10 · 6 April 2024]

I've watched plenty of espionage programmes: Spooks, The Americans, Slow Horses, The Little Drummer Girl, Tinker Tailer Soldier Spy, Smiley's People, Homeland, The Undeclared War et cetera. Yet I can honestly say Le Bureau is among the most authentic and well written of them all.

Firstly, it eschews the hightened action that typifies the genre. In the first series, there is just one shootout - viewed from afar in grainy nightvision - and just one fight, in which an agent intentionally loses to maintain his cover. Immediately, this is closer to reality; spies are not action heroes, nor do they aspire to be. They are in the game of intelligence gathering, and - while the risks are real - the reality isn't all gunplay, explosive gadgets and close-quarters combat.

Secondly, through one subplot early on, it shows the long, careful process of inserting an undercover agent into an organisation from which she can glean useful intel. These are the 'boring bits' that most programmes skip over, yet it is precisely these truthful aspects that elevate this above James Bond-esque fluff.

And finally, it tackles contemporary geopolitics confidently, moving from location to location, language to language, and covering very raw conflicts including the Syrian Civil War, the war against daesh, Iranian nuclear development and so on. There is the internal politics, too, and the friction between intelligence agencies. This isn't jingoistic, but nor is it cynical.

At the core of it all is a cast of believable and empathetic characters, who you are willing to succeed, and for whom your heart races when it seems the net is closing around them.

Le Bureau isn't just a great French spy programme, but is among the greatest in the genre, and sets the high benchmark for others.

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared (2022– )

A bonkers, nightmarish twist on the educational puppet show

[9/10 · 6 March 2024]

Take the format of an educational puppet show for children, where each episode promises some sort of simple lesson. Then introduce a healthy dose of deadpan humour, a heap of absurdity, and a big dollop of nightmare fuel...

Voila! Out spurts 'Don't Hug Me I'm Scared', like dribbly lasagne from the free vending machine.

In lesser hands, it could have been gimmicky. But the makers of this programme pour Aardman-level attention to detail into every scene. The hand-made props and puppetry alone are a joy.

Our odd-thruple protagonists meet a variety of ostensibly well-meaning characters, who seem to exist solely to explain certain concepts (such as jobs, families, and transport). Often there's a song or two. But it's not long until things unravel in a darkly comic way. Underneath the silly voices and costumes, there is genuinely funny writing, and even moments of pathos, as the characters seem trapped, Truman-like, in a world they do not understand.

Imagine The Mighty Boosh having a lovechild with the brain of David Firth, while conducting a cheeky affair with Look Around You. That's this - and it's brilliant.

In My Skin (2018– )

A moving coming-of-age drama well worth watching

[8/10 · 7 January 2024]

There are moments of joy and heartbreak in this tale of a Welsh teenager who must balance her school life and love life with a challenging home life - specifically a bipolar mother and an abusive, alcoholic father.

The premise could be oppressively bleak, but there is enough humour and happiness sprinkled throughout so that it never feels one-note. For all the setbacks, Bethan overcomes hurdles, too, and at times triumphs.

In terms of programmes with a similar feel, I'd say this reminded me most of My Mad Fat Diary; there are comparable themes, namely mental health, secrets, love and heartbreak, coming of age, and school life. Tonally, In My Skin is more subtle and gritty, and any comedic elements take a back seat.

There are some excellent performances, especially Gabrielle Creevy as Bethan (can't wait to see her in more) and Jo Hartley as her mother Katrina - who managed to alternate between fragility and mania masterfully. Also worthy of praise: Rhodri Meilir as Bethan's dad, and Poppy Lee Friar and James Wilbraham who played Bethan's best friends Lydia and Travis.

Where the programme is weakest is when it depicts school life. The teachers for the most part feel like thinly drawn cartoons (especially the P. E. teacher). The same goes for Priest the bully, and Poppy the popular girl. Some of this could be due to poor casting, but there are flaws in the writing, too. Bethan facing off against Poppy in an election for Head Girl felt contrived and very 'American highschool' rather than drab Welsh comprehensive.

The programme really shines when it's dealing directly with Bethan's difficult life as de-facto carer and defender of her mother; and her attempts to hide this from her friends and teachers.

I laughed and I cried, more than once, and the awards In My Skin has won are thoroughly deserved. Whilst it isn't flawless, it deserves attention.

Beanpole (2019)

A strange drama set in a fever dream of post-war Russia

[7/10 · 30 December 2021]

This is an eerie, unsettling portrait of two women who - through the shared trauma of war - become dependent on one another.

It's difficult to describe their relationship as romantic, nor uplifting, nor indeed equal; belying her size, Iya (Beanpole) is an anxious wallflower who is emotionally manipulated by Masha into surrogacy. It is uncomfortable viewing; one never gets the sense that Masha is wedded to anything except her need to become a mother again. As such, the reconciliation at the end feels sour; Masha says what Iya needs to hear, and Iya says what Masha needs to hear, but do we imagine that description of an idyllic future is anything but another yarn to string Iya along?

Through this story, we gain other glimpses into post-war Russia - primarily revolving around the comings and goings of a Leningrad hospital caring for injured soldiers. But even seemingly extraneous narrative threads turn out to be linchpins in our two protagonists' tale (for example, unsactioned euthanasia providing the 'kompromat' for Masha to force the doctor into sexual service).

The two central performances are very good. Dialogue is often frustratingly sparse - we get the impression that little of what our characters are thinking makes it out of their mouths intact. The cinematography is artful, and notably warm in its palette - where others might have chosen a washed out, bleak look as a crude match for the mood. Music is almost entirely absent, beyond the occasional diegetic ditty on a radio or record player.

Overall, this is a well-executed, unusual and unnerving film that is difficult to love, but easy to admire.

The North Water (2021)

A gritty, bleak and well-paced seafaring drama

[7/10 · 28 December 2021]

Visually spectacular, The North Water tells the tale of an ill-fated voyage into the frozen reaches of the Arctic during the 19th century.

Comparisons with The Terror are perhaps inevitable, but whilst The Terror ventured into the realms of the supernatural, this stays grounded in reality (beyond the occasional laudinum- and hypothermia-induced fever dreams). In both cases, the greatest antagonist turns out to be an 'enemy within'.

The pace feels solid throughout. The central characters are reasonably well drawn, and the tension between Sumner, Drax, Brownlee and Cavandish propels the drama along. There are some excellent set pieces that show the brutality and harsh reality of life aboard a whaling vessel, though it's fair to say the focus is more on the various ulterior motives of those aboard, as they increasingly come into conflict.

Dialogue is largely functional - there aren't any lengthy diatribes, stirring speeches to the crew, long laments or moving fire-side conversations. That sets it apart from a lot of the more romanticised depictions of this period.

Sumner, as our hero, is watchable, but maintains an emotional distance from everyone around him. As such, I didn't feel moved by his struggle as much as I perhaps should have. He arrived onboard cold and damaged, and left colder and more damaged; there was little to make us warm to him, beyond that he wasn't as amoral as the most machiavellian of the shipmates. The more affable among the crew were given little opportunity to endear us to them, either; as such, when tragedy strikes, the emotional impact is muted.

Positives: strong performances, solid pacing, an intriguing story with a satisfying ending and a bleakly beautiful setting with very little noticeable embellishment from CGI.

Negatives: never fully emotional engaged with the characters, which dampened the impact of the more climactic moments.

American Beauty (1999)

A darkly comic portrait of dysfunction in American suburbia

[9/10 · 8 November 2020]

Alan Ball's exquisite writing, Sam Mendes's award-winning directing, and Thomas Newman's unforgettable music - what a triumphant trio of talent on display in American Beauty.

The film deals with a lot of the themes Alan Ball dealt with in greater depth during Six Feet Under: life, death, sex, aspirations versus reality, homosexuality, dysfunctional families, mid-life crises. It's all bundled up in this portrait of a small corner of suburbia, with particular focus on the Burnhams.

The cast is excellent across the board, with Spacey and Bening particular highlights. The film is laced with black comedy, poking fun at aspirational Stepford Wives-style suburbia, and revels in the tumult as each of these characters - so unsatisfied with their lives - seek a means of separate escape. The cinematography is excellent, and the oft-parodied 'dream sequencies' artfully done.

There is a who-dunnit element to the drama, but that really takes a back-seat, and the character arcs are compelling enough to keep you watching anyway. Overall, this is a superb film deserving of the praise it's received.

McMafia (2018)

A gripping, believable descent into the world of 21st century organised crime

[7/10 · 8 November 2020]

The first series of McMafia very much feels like 'The Beginning' - in much the same way the first series of Breaking Bad was (although tonally this is quite different). It portrays Alex Godman's tentative first steps on a dark path. Alex's familial ties to Russia's criminal underworld prove a catalyst for his own aspirations, and - although he justifies his actions as necessary for survival - there's the hint that this is his self-denial; that, in truth, he was willingly drawn into this dangerous game, like a moth to a flame.

The series, much like Alex's suits, has a lot of restraint. Restrained emotion, restrained dialogue, restrained pacing. Despite occasional glimpses of a jet-setting lifestyle, luxury villas and palatial residences etc., it doesn't glamorise organised crime. We get the impression that this is just a veneer, hiding the unseemly goings on behind the scenes, which we are increasingly privy to.

My favourite moments of series 1 include the whole 'mission Mumbai' sequence leading up to and during the port heist; the moments where Alex and Vadim meet directly; and those with Kleiman.

My least favourite moments have to be those focused on the family. At the outset, it's quite hard to believe Alex is so close to Uncle Boris ("I loved my uncle more than anything") he'd risk everything in pursuit of revenge, especially since Boris brought about his own demise. That's partly because Boris is written and played as such an oleaginous crook. I find the perpetually drunk father particularly irritating (Aleksei Serebryakov seems a bit typecast, no thanks to his turn in the film Leviathan), the sister somewhat weakly written, and the mother just okay. I like Alex's girlfriend, as she's a plausible well-meaning (borderline boring) match for Alex - until Alex changes his colours somewhat.

If there's a follow up series, that's where things will get interesting - because having struggled to acquire some power, now he has to hang on to it. And, having crossed the threshold from broker to murderer, we also don't know quite how far he's willing to go, and whether it'll all come back to bite him.

What I would have liked is a little more tonal variation. A little humour, a little more personality. Nobody seems to have a moment of happiness in this series - not genuine happiness, anyway. But it's a pretty strong start, and hopefully we'll get another chapter to see how things pan out.

Upright (2019– )

A road trip dramedy with plenty of heart

[8/10 · 12 October 2020]

I'm not a huge fan of Tim Minchin's musical stand-up - though he's undoubtedly talented - so went into this with minor reservations.

However, Minchin gives an impressive turn as musician Lucky, who embarks on a tumultuous cross-country journey home. Then there's the excellent Milly Alcock as Meg, the adolescent 'spanner' in Lucky's works. This dysfunctional double act is central to the programme's charm; two damaged individuals at different stages in their life, butting heads, but also rescuing each other.

It could have descended into cliché, but the writing, filming and pacing managed to keep things feeling fresh. There's plenty of humour - often of the black variety - and you find yourself really invested in the duo's journey, the absurd bumps along the road (sometimes literally) and their backstories (which are deftly revealed throughout the episodes).

Moving and funny in equal measure, I highly recommend this small-but-perfectly-formed series.

Takin' Over the Asylum (1994)

A sweet, small-scale drama about a 'bunch of loonies'

[7/10 · 12 October 2020]

Over its six episodes, Takin' Over the Asylum deals with some pretty heavy subjects with a lightness of touch.

You might think a programme focusing on a cast of mentally ill, sectioned characters would be depressing, but the show finds plenty of room for humour, satire and hope.

Eddie (Ken Stott) is a listless man whose only real joy in life is working as a small-time radio DJ. When he finds himself hosting a hospital radio in a psychiatric asylum, he develops a kinship with a handful of the resident 'loonies'. We gain a little bit of insight into their idiosyncratic problems, as well as Eddie's own demons, as they all pour their efforts into keeping the hospital station - and their own hopes about the future - alive.

It's perhaps a little dated 16 years on from when it was first aired, but it's still a poignant story with an affable cast, and some timely messages about mental health.

Monster (2004–2005)

A dark slow-burner, both rewarding and frustrating

[7/10 · 12 October 2020]

The ambitious cat-and-mouse story at the heart of Monster spans a decade or more, and leads down many dark paths - though there are plenty of uplifting moments to offset the unpleasantness.

Across 74 episodes, each about 20 minutes, we see Dr. Tenma - himself on the run - and an often-changing cast of side-characters on the hunt for a sociopathic killer. A nasty fate awaits the people sucked into the orbit of Tenma's nemesis, whose backstory and motives are slowly revealed.

The animation and artwork is exceptional. Unlike in so much anime, the massive cast of characters in Monster are each distinctive; they have expressive, characterful and detailed features. It never feels like the animators are taking shortcuts, either; little gestures are delicately rendered. The Japanese voice acting is consistently good, the dialogue is decent (though nothing special) and the music sets the tone.

In terms of story, I found the programme both rewarding and frustrating. The overall narative arc is really compelling, and keeps you interested. However, there were too many filler episodes, featuring too many redundant side-characters; it means at times the pacing feels glacial.

On top of that, there are actions characters take (or don't take) that feel contrived to keep the story going; you find yourself thinking things like: why don't you just pull the bloody trigger instead of launching into a moody monologue only to miss your chance? These frustrating moments happened just often enough to make me face-palm semi-regularly.

As for the ending (sort of spoiler alert): I think Tenma must've slipped with his scalpel and given everybody including himself a lobotomy. I can't believe they were so stupid...

So, overall it's one of the most impressive long-form anime series I've watched - certainly in terms of ambition, animation and just the willingness to delve into some very unsettling places, psychologically. It's an anime neo-noir, and a good one. But don't go into it expecting perfection, a quick pace or a satisfying resolution.

Zapped (2016–2018)

Silly, whimsical and magical

[7/10 · 5 October 2020]

It took me a little while to warm up to Zapped - but there's just something charmingly silly about the whole thing.

It's got a touch of the Red Dwarf magic about it; a genre rarely explored in sitcoms, a cast of slightly pathetic but oddly endearing characters, a small-scale, low-budget adventure each episode, and undeniably British humour.

All of the cast hold their own. James Buckley is the perfect fit for our ordinary 'hero' Brian; Paul Kaye is stand-out fantastic as hyperactive, geezerish wizard Howell; the ever-lovely Sharon Rooney is endearing as the naïve, aspiring seer Barbara; Louis Emerick is great as the affable warrior-turned-pub owner Herman; and Kenneth Collard is excellent as the half-giant, half-dwarf with delusions of grandeur, Steg.

The supporting cast also hold their own; I particularly liked Sally Phillips (Slasher), Rufus Hound (Kevlar) and Ricky Grover (Hawthorn).

With its format, I'm not sure it could have lasted that much longer beyond its 15 episode total without a loss of quality; as such, it probably ended at the right time - and definitely on a high. I really enjoyed it.

My Mad Fat Diary (2013–2015)

Brilliant - and packs an emotional punch

[8/10 · 18 September 2020]

I bloody love this programme. if you're looking for the perfect blend of drama, comedy and realism in a coming-of-age TV series, 'My Mad Fat Diary' is it.

I watched some of this back when it originally aired, but sadly life got in the way and I didn't finish it. However, I just had the pleasure of binge-watching the whole thing, and - dammit - this programme never fails to choke me up.

Sharon Rooney stole and broke my heart in equal measure with her portrayal of Rae Earl. What a talent - cheers m'dear! But the supporting cast are mostly excellent too - especially Nico Mirallegro (Finn), Claire Rushbrook (Rae's mum), Ian Hart (Kester), Jodie Corner (Chloe) and Turlough Convery (Liam).

'My Mad Fat Diary' is an unnervingly relatable story of a young adult struggling with mental health problems, on top of all the other issues teens have to go through. There are plenty of funny moments, including some wonderfully crude turns of phrase courtesy of Rae's inner monologue; and plenty of heartbreaking moments, especially as we see anxiety pile up on our protagonist.

It's not flawless. Series 2 didn't quite live up to series 1's high watermark, occasionally stumbling into more clichéd, American highschool movie territory. But Series 3 redeemed things, and - though just three episodes - served as a well-needed, well-written finalé.

'My Mad Fat Diary' will always hold a special place in my heart. Great writing, rounded characters, full of humour and a true emotional rollercoaster. Oh, and let's not forget the cracking '90s soundtrack - my god! Radiohead, The Verve, Blur, Pulp, Oasis, Lightning Seeds, Charlatans, Massive Attack, Bjork, Smashing Pumpkins... I want to kiss whoever was responsible.

This was such a little gem.

The Wailing (2016)

An interesting horror with squandered potential

[6/10 · 7 August 2017]

I watched The Wailing on the back of strong critical response, a rarity for horror films. Unfortunately I was left a little conflicted.

The film's premise is a mix of tropes (possession, good vs. evil, religious mythology), and its slow-burn narrative is set in a relatively poor, rural village in South Korea.

The tone the movie strikes at first is one of slapstick and black-comedy. The local police are incompetent, unfit and seemingly terrified of everything. I laughed quite a few times throughout. We get little character development; these aren't complicated people. The lead protagonist, Jong-goo, has about as much depth as a petri dish, and - work-shy and cowardly - doesn't inspire much sympathy.

Then there's a jarring tonal shift towards seriousness. Seeing Jong-goo distraught over the mystery sickness his daughter is plagued by didn't move me at all, because the goings-on up until that point had been dealt with so flippantly and the characters were painted as comic foils contrasting with the horrific murders. Why would we care about what's happening to these people, when they've been painted as two- dimensional and foolish?

The film's final half-an-hour redeemed it somewhat. I'd predicted the twist that the Japanese man was wrongly vilified and was trying to save the village, so when the shaman confirmed it, I was disappointed by how obvious it had been. But then it turned out to be a bluff! Which took me by surprise. He's evil after all. The ending was particularly strong; tragic, but poignant, with some allegorical revelations.

The characters make some strange decisions throughout. Why, when Jong-goo discovered the Japanese man had a shrine with photographs of the recent village murders, did he, his colleague and the deacon simply run off? Bring the man in for questioning at least. Get his DNA. Do some actual police work. And why, if the Japanese man was a malevolent being, did he not offer some excuse to put Jong-goo et al off the scent? He made no effort to mislead them (beyond using the shaman), even when there was every opportunity to lie or distract Jong-goo each occasion they confronted him on the top of the mountain. The benevolent ghost Moo-myeong could've made everything clear early on if she'd been less ambiguous - instead she drip-fed pieces of information to Jong-goo, all too late. If she actually wanted to save the village, she could've easily done it.

When characters act in improbable or irrational ways in order to confuse the audience so the revelation is a surprise, that's lazy writing in my opinion. To me, this seems like this was just to force ambiguity so we weren't sure who was trustworthy or not, who was 'real' or not.

So it's a mixed bag of a movie. The positives are the setting, the basic plot and the pacing. The negatives are the tonal shifts, the shallow characters, some of the writing. There's a gem hidden in there somewhere, I just think it could've shone brighter if handled differently.

Master of None (2015–2021)

Sweet, but unfunny

[5/10 · 7 March 2016]

I wanted to like this, and expected to based on the positive reception its had. Unfortunately, whilst it's sweet and cheerful, it's also entirely unfunny.

There's really nothing here to compel anybody to stick with it. The acting is often just passable, and the writing is just OK. There are occasionally some interesting ideas, and some potentially funny set-ups. But they're never fully realised.

Louie, Broad City and Extras have already done everything in this show, and done it ten times better. Aziz Ansari is great in Parks and Rec, but his brand of comedy isn't good enough to carry a whole series in my opinion.

Broad City (2014–2019)

Brilliant, bizarre and genuinely funny

[8/10 · 7 March 2016]

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this show.

From the outset it seems like a very traditional sitcom set-up; two women living in a big city, in their 20s, stuck in limbo struggling to 'do what adults do' (see '2 Broke Girls').

But this is so much more charming and funny than the usual sitcoms churned out by the dozen in America... perhaps because the web-series it was inspired by was an indie project from the outset, and relied on the chemistry of everybody involved.

There's plenty of awkwardness, but the cringe-worthy situations are offset by the friendship-cum-platonic-marriage Ilana and Abbi have. Every episode is hilarious, and set to some pretty cool music, too.

And they've had the series renewed for another couple of seasons! I only hope they can maintain the high standard set in the first couple. Definitely watch this if you like your comedy small-scale, indie and with a healthy dose of weird.

Hannibal (2013–2015)

Hannibal is an incomplete dish

[7/10 · 20 December 2014]

Beautifully shot and well-acted, 'Hannibal' Series 1 is an incomplete dish, though delicious in parts.

The writers rely heavily on clichés to drive the narrative along, especially regarding characterisation and dialogue.

For me, this is another 'magic detective' drama with a serial killer cliché.

By 'magic detective', I mean that age-old trope of having a detective who can essentially solve crimes no other person could do, utilising a sort of 'magic' or 'superpower'. They often have an equal and opposite flaw, to balance the character and create drama and tension.

Here are some examples: Sherlock Holmes - powers: incredible perception and deduction / weaknesses: antisocial, drug addiction

Monk - powers: incredible perception and deduction / weaknesses: social anxiety, OCD

Medium's Alison Dubois - powers: supernatural perception

The Mentalist's Patrick Jane - powers: incredible perception and manipulation

White Collar's Neal Caffrey - powers: master manipulator / weaknesses: corruptible, disloyal

Lie to me's Cal Lightman: incredible perception and master manipulator

Colombo - powers: incredible deduction, perception and master manipulator

Perception's Daniel Pierce - powers: incredible perception

Ghost Whisperer's Melinda Gordon - powers: supernatural perception

Unforgettable's Carrie Wells - powers: incredible deduction, perfect memory

Death Note's L - powers: incredible perception and deduction

Body of Proof's Megan Hunt - powers: incredible perception and deduction

Numb3rs' Charles Eppes - powers: incredible deduction

So on and so on... In Hannibal it's 'total empathy' which gives William Graham incredible powers of perception and deduction. Yawn.

Hannibal isn't wholly good or wholly bad; there are some great sequences, creative visualisations, strong performances. But it's hampered by some silly writing and clichéd narrative, in my opinion.

Black Mirror (2011– )

Overrated and inconsistent

[5/10 · 17 December 2014]

I was very disappointed by Black Mirror Series 1 & 2, save for S1E3 - the only instalment NOT written by Charlie Brooker (instead penned by Jesse Armstrong of 'Peep Show' fame), 'The Entire History of You', which on its own is an excellent drama.

I went away from this series with one conclusion; Charlie Brooker cannot write drama well. His talents lie with casting an eye over the irritating aspects of media, succinctly cutting down the pretentiousness and rubbish churned out for our consumption with some accurate criticism and adolescent musings (see: Screenwipe, Newswipe etc.). That's what he's good at! Being funny and critical at the same time.

What he clearly isn't good at, and this is made all the more apparent by the 2nd series of Black Mirror, is fleshing out basic ideas for a drama into anything more than a GCSE Film Studies project with a budget. The characters aren't real, they're two-dimensional clichés. The constant references to social media and modern technology don't feel incidental, but desperate, like Charlie poking his head up from behind a prop screaming "Look how relevant this all is!" Twitter this, twitter that. The stories all feel like conversations down the pub after a few pints, "What if the prime minister had to shag a pig on live TV!" "Why would he do that?" "I dunno... terrorists?" Even with the suspension of disbelief, none of his writing delivers the impact or level of social commentary one would hope for.

'The Entire History of You' did what the other instalments didn't; characters that felt real, a relationship that felt real, underpinned but not obscured by plausible science-fiction. The 'what if' is answered with the expected pessimism present in all of the Black Mirror episodes, but it's still entertaining to watch the story unfold. I wish Jesse Armstrong had written all of Black Mirror, perhaps I would have had my expectations exceeded rather than trodden on.

Not Going Out (2006– )

This really should have been axed a long time ago

[5/10 · 6 December 2014]

Not Going Out started promisingly. It was clearly a vehicle for Lee Mack and Tim Vine's one-liner stand-up comedy, but it still managed to be passable.

Unfortunately, they squeezed the life out of this particular lemon, and there's really nothing left. Every episode is so formulaic, even the jokes collapse under the strain of the clichés. It's down there with Miranda, and maybe even Mrs Brown's Boys.

Essentially, every episode involves Lee trying to impress a girl with some scheme or pretence, and inevitably failing. He's a mostly unemployed Northerner who inexplicably manages to live in a large flat in London (I mean, a flat that would be out of the price-range of anyone earning below £30,000 a year). It's been 8 years of this crap, how long is Lee's life going to revolve around pathetically throwing himself at the only eligible female he knows in utter desperation and failing repeatedly?

Basically there is NO imagination in the writing, NO attempt to do anything different. Just cliché-ridden drivel.

The best thing about this show is the theme tune. This program has outstayed its welcome and needs to go.

Made in Chelsea (2011– )

A horribly repetitive cycle of gossip and infidelity

[3/10 · 2 December 2014]

Whilst some of the individuals featured are probably interesting people, the format of the show reduces everyone to two-dimensional pawns in an endless incestuous dating circle.

The haze of sepia, the indie pop soundtrack and the choice tracking shots of posh London suburbs all serve to lend this a veneer of class and style, but there's nothing of substance underneath.

The cast seem content to appear as empty-headed, simplistic and egotistical people, in exchange for a presumably large sum of money. Every episode is so bloody tedious and the producers so lacking in creativity that the only variable is who is shagging who behind who's back.

Waste of television.

American Horror Story (2011– )

Really disappointing

[4/10 · 30 November 2014]

After all the hype, I was expecting something great - a contemporary take on horror, perhaps a show trying something different, shunning the clichés in favour of being inventive. I was expecting good acting, good writing, and a good narrative.

Instead, I got some cliché-ridden adult version of Goosebumps. I actually laughed at all the wrong places. All the characters are disposable archetypes with about an inch of depth, and none of them are likable - which means the 'horror' really isn't all that horrifying. After episode 1 I was hoping the whole house would swallow them up.

I honestly feel like I watched a different program to all the people lavishing praise on this. I'm so disappointed, because I feel like there hasn't really been a decent attempt at an episodic horror show in a long time.

Ah well. Maybe the success of AHS will encourage better writers and producers to take up the gauntlet and do something I do actually enjoy.

Harold's Going Stiff (2011)

An endearing low budget movie

[7/10 · 30 November 2014]

This low-key film is a poignant and endearing comedy drama, with ample helpings of silliness and black humour.

It's a quirky twist on the zombie myth - in fact I'd say the zombie aspect takes a backseat as more of an analogy for dementia, or a similar degenerative disease. At times I was reminded of the recent series In The Flesh, also set in a rural Northern English town, utilising the zombie theme to deal with wider social issues.

The relationship between Penny and Harold is so natural and believable it's heartbreaking. It's what Gervais wishes he'd managed in his series Derek. The way it was handled was artful.

And the performances were, on the whole, brilliant. Sarah Spencer (Penny) and Stan Rowe (Harold) in particular were wonderful. They managed the naturalistic style of acting exceptionally well.

I'd guess a lot of the low scores are a result of people expecting some Sam Raimi spectacle with blood and guts everywhere. Providing you don't go into this expecting another Shaun Of The Dead, and instead expect a very small-scale, character-driven comedy drama on a shoe- string budget, I think you'll find something to enjoy. This is meant for the small screen!