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Reviews
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
This is not an Evil Dead film.
To make an Evil Dead movie you would have to first ask, What made the Evil Dead movies succesful in the first place?
To answer this, consider engaging with the fan base. You would likely have been told that to make an Evil Dead movie, you need:
1. A funny, over the top, non politically correct masculine lead character.
2. Dark humour.
3. Excessive gore and practical effects.
4. Catch phrases and memorable one liners for your lead character.
5. Continuity between the movies.
Given this movie had none of the above, Who was it made for?
If you are going to make an Evil Dead movie:
Respect the source material!
Respect the fan base!
Don't put a bunch of unlikable Gen Z females in an appartment black with poor lighting, provide a few jumpscares and some diverse casting and attempt to pass it off as an Evil Dead film. This is so far removed from the classics. It's just another off the shelf existing franchise, exploited and butchered for the sake of content.
Ash Vs the Evil Dead managed to be diverse, funny, gory and pretty damn good. Each and every character was well cast, likable and brilliantly written. You cared when they were harmed. There is no excuse for this slop.
CHiPs: Death Watch (1979)
The loss of an officer
I watched this series as a child and rode my Raleigh Chopper along with battery siren playing the part John or Ponch depending on a heads or tails toss ( we all wanted to be Ponch).
Whilst not the strongest episode of the season, it is still enjoyable and exciting.
Some great stunts.
This series has stood the test of time.
My 11 and 15 year old boys both enjoy the series.
I'm not sure that the film stock is as high quality as series 1 and 2 as it is grainy in places with some faults but all in all its is ok for its age.
I wish that they could remaster the soundtrack but I'm being picky..
White Noise (2022)
One of a very few films that I just gave up on
Pretentious, boring, doesn't really know what it's trying to be.
It isn't scary and it isn't funny.
It tries to imitate Spielbergs knack for making family life look both chaotic and fun. Adults and children on screen having what appear to be unscripted natural conversation but this film just does not pull it off.
It just appears scripted and contrived in its delivery so it didn't work for me.
It's like the film is trying really heard to be thought provoking but just manages to be bewildering.
The way that the husband and wife converse is just bizarre and makes no sense.
Anyway, after about an hour neither my wife or I could be bothered to watch any more. I was completely uninterested in the characters and the story.
Have Netflix lost the plot?
The Curse of Bridge Hollow (2022)
Keep racism out of kids films
Within the first 5 minutes, critical race theory mentioned at least 3 times.
The first white characters where stupid and actually referred to by their colour.
You don't have to have an adult male shouting at a child in Halloween costume 'Never jump out at a black man'. It isn't a joke and this is one of the more subtle scenes. Race seems to be a constant theme throughout this film.
Why does netflix feel the need to indoctrinate children with CRT in what should be a light hearted kids holiday film.
Not OK.
Take out the casual racism and you have a family moving into a new neighbourhood resulting in the child making new friends, the Father staring a new job.
It is set around Halloween so the family (who don't celebrate haloween) have to deal with the fact that the town they have moved into are into Halloween in a big way.
Hemlock Grove (2013)
Episode 10 and half of the characters lack any explanation to their back story.
Spoiler....
I am currently watching episode 10 and am still wondering the following.. why Roman leaves a blue glow on his sisters cheek when he touches her?
Why he seems to be able to influence people by staring at them?
Why his cousin seems to think that she has been impregnated by an angel (her belief seems to go largely unchallenged)?
Why his sister is disfigured and why she seems to have some kind of power (telekinesis)?
And why did the girl that Roman raped in one episode, Send him a get well card in the next episode?
Have I missed something because few of these character s have been fully explained and some seem entirely superfluous to the story. Oh and why does Roman's mother keep dripping something in eyes?
I have no more clue about the motivation of many of the characters having watched 10 episodes than I did at episode 1.
Photographically pleasing and nicely shot with a good cast. I just have no idea what is going on.