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Reviews
Superman Returns (2006)
Super Suckfest
Wow! Superman can lift heavy objects, and then, ever so slowly, let them down! This might as well be a spoiler, because that's pretty much all the super one does in this badly conceived, over long entry into the comic book movie genre. The mighty son of Krypton doesn't throw a punch, he doesn't even really explain what happened on his sabbatical. Too bad, because photos from his trip would've been more exciting than this. I give it a couple stars because I thoroughly enjoyed the SpiderMan trailer that played before. Oh yeah, and there was some joker in the audience who had a flashlight that would shine the bat signal. That was pretty funny. Anyway...Congratulations, Singer! You just made Sam Raimi look like the biggest genius on the face of the planet.
Crypt of Dark Secrets (1976)
Unforgettable Swamp Witch
A Vietnam vet gets shot and is revived by an Aztec swamp witch (Maureen Ridley) who then... I'll stop here because the only thing that matters is Maureen Ridley as the witch. She levitates, gyrates and discombobulates in complete and utter nudity. She occasionally turns into a snake, and sometimes her amazing eyes glow via a shaky matte. She is a real beauty, with no apparent plastic surgery marring her natural, lithe hotness. She looks like Julie Christie, but prettier...and nuder. The dripping swamp locale, and the short running time (71minutes) are nice pluses, but in all honesty, I ended up fast forwarding to the scenes of Maureen Ridley dancing. If this film had been more widely seen, this swamp witch would have gone on to some kind of career. As it is, this is her one and only credit. Shame.
Open House (2004)
Funny,weird, and totally fresh
On Friday night October 15th, a friend and I went to the Austin Film Festival screening of Open House. I'd read that it was a no-budget musical, and I wasn't expecting a lot. What I saw was clearly made on the cheap. But it was also funny, weird, and totally fresh.
The movie starts with a clever montage of that suburban ritual-the placing of open house flags and signs. Most of the main characters are introduced here. We see real estate agent Barry(Anthony Rapp) set up an open house. Yes, there are finger sandwiches. A couple(James Duval and Kellie Martin) argue over the home listing while in bed. Dave(Jerry Doyle)robs a jewelry store, then gets stuck when his junky car won't start.A pair of dubious cops(Robert Peters and Hedy Burress) play slap and tickle while investigating the jewelry store.
All these characters collide at Barry's open house. It becomes clear that nobody is who they seem. I could never predict what was going to happen next. The craziness, lies, and musical numbers spill over into other houses. We meet drunken real estate agent Marjorie(Sally Kellerman), hilarious as she shamelessly flirts while offering home shoppers drinks.
"Open House" is like "Mad Mad Mad MAd World" meets "Rent" All the characters get cool musical numbers and funny one liners, even as their deep, personal flaws/secrets are revealed. Writers Mirvish and Maddox keep the story zipping around corners you won't see coming, and they also score with some nice songs.
"Sellin' A Dream," Kellerman's duet with Doyle, even made me a little teary eyed. The film has some low budget problems( the sound mix was iffy),but I liked it anyway. It's not for everyone,but if want something that defies convention and categories, check this one out.