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Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Truly uninspiring
A seemingly endless budget and big-name actors does not a great movie make. And that was surely the story of this entirely forgetful tale.
For the life of me, I can't tell whether it was the incredibly mediocre plot, dreadful dialogue, or downright bad storytelling that really took the cake here. All three made their case and were all very good at convincing me to stop watching, but I plodded on against all odds and am proud to say I watched the whole thing. Every last, painfully maculate bit.
To give you just a hint of what you could (and really should) do without, I'll add a sliver of specificity to my complaints. Oft times the audience would find itself charmed by an acute detail, and perhaps make note of it -- "Goodness, what an interesting idea!" -- only to be greeted by disappointment at the end of the movie when none of the interesting bits came to fruition. It was either the script writers or the editors, but somebody had their way with this film and gutted it down to the bare bones, leaving merely scraps for the audience to cling to for the entirety of the film.
As mentioned, Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum are certainly big-name actors. They performed well enough. Was either performance particularly deserving of praise? No. They delivered their cliché lines in unremarkable fashion. I can't say I blame them for the general atrocity; acting was hardly the problem, after all.
While I have no small amount of respect for the Wachowskis, this movie is a far cry from their earlier masterpieces.
Perhaps more painful than the film itself was the story it proved incapable of telling. Thinking of the potential, the movie and story that could have been, is nearly agonizing.
Would I recommend this movie to a friend? Sure. If I felt like I really needed to get back at them for something terrible they'd done to me in the past.
Love & Other Drugs (2010)
Predictable, but beloved.
Love & Other Drugs is an entertaining tale, and quite seriously needs to be seen.
Gyllenhaal, Hathaway...they played their parts to the "T." Gyllenhaal is convincing as the charming, heartless lady-killer, while Hathaway, the very nearly psychotic, but entirely gorgeous and waiting to be swept off her feet girl, mercilessly drags the audience into her world. Her part, played so frighteningly convincingly, was in itself a masterpiece, every slight tremor in her voice demanding to be heard.
The plot follows a classic romance storyline. As such, it would be an impossible task to spoil it. It sufficiently satiates the appetite for love stories and leaves you begging for more.
Read no further; this movie is worth watching.
Ah, one more thing. Gents, if your spouse or lady friend is begging you to watch this, give in eventually. There's priceless nudity.
Olympus Has Fallen (2013)
Not worth the two hours
One word does this movie more justice than it deserves: "no."
It was given a strong cast, with the likes of Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, and Gotham's Harvey Dent. A strong cast can only carry a movie so far, however, and this one was suffering in every other important category.
The plot was implausible at best, and the writers seemed to gleefully write off American military and security efficiency as laughably incompetent.
I felt somewhat abashed when I took a strange pleasure in watching the White House and so many government officials fall (probably not alone there, what with Congress' approval rating at a staggering 9%). Despite this perverse feeling, the movie is not worth your time.
Save yourself a couple hours and watch something else. You've seen a movie like this before - every other senseless action movie ever. And if that's what you're craving, watch Ip Man instead. It just so happens to have tons of action and is based on a true story.
TL;DR - Morgan Freeman...my sincerest apologies that you had to participate in a film of this caliber.
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)
A Modern Disney Fairytale
While "Oz the Great and Powerful" certainly continues the evolution of so-called "children's movies," it was a classic Disney fairytale. There was a kingdom - the Land of Oz, there were munchkins, and there were witches and a wizard and a great big pile of gold.
However, it seemed as though it might be slightly scarier than the usual Disney movie for younger audiences, what with the frightening witches and shrieking winged-primates, but the plot was classic fairytale action. Many complaints about this movie were "the plot was predictable." Of course the plot was predictable - it's a fairytale. If you wanted your wildest expectations denied at every turn, go see Oblivion.
Fans of fairytale stories don't read the books or go see the movies because they expect to be shocked by an original, psychologically thrilling scheme. It is the alluring tale of a prince and princess, a king and queen; a dreamy adventure to whisk us away from the monotony of our possibly dreary routine.
The land through which Oscar (the wizard, Oz) traveled was brilliantly textured and thought up. It was especially pleasant to behold, and added greatly to the fairytale atmosphere of the movie. There was the classic yellow brick road, the dangerous poppy field, and the wicked dark forest. Along with this, the movie starts in black and white, then transitions into color to emphasize the nature of the fairytale. I found the effect wonderful.
James Franco is fantastic as the "great and powerful wizard," while Mila Kunis gives a surprising and vibrant life to her character. In hindsight, the acting seemed a bit cheesy at times, but then again...what does one expect, watching a Disney fairytale? It would have been more surprising, perhaps, to have seen an un-cheesy script (what is the word for "un-cheesy?" I've not a clue).
I award this movie a 7 out of 10 because on a somewhat troubled night, it provided ample distraction. This is a movie that will satisfy the dreamer's dreams.
If you're not a dreamer, I'm not quite sure why you're reading a review about a Disney fairytale. Be gone with you.