h2o_ns Reviews

Flight of the Conchords (2007–2009)

Simply Brilliant.

[10/10 · 15 January 2008]

Words truly can't express the way I feel about Flight of the Conchords. My younger brother showed me a clip of their song "Business Time" performed live and ever since I've been hooked. The show itself is truly hilarious, but what really makes it a true 10/10 is the music. With songs like Business Time, Robots, Beautiful Girl, Bowie, Leggy Blonde and many more this show will make you cry tears of joy. Not only are the duo of the band brilliant but they also have comedians Rhys Darby as their hilariously pathetic band manager Murray and Arj Barker as their friend and local pawn shop guy to teach them how things work in America.

If you simply go over to Youtube and search for Flight of the Conchords you're bound to find an ample source of entertainment but trust me, watch the series as well; it is simply brilliant.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

A movie standing alone

[1/10 · 19 November 2005]

There are a lot of things wrong with this movie and the part that's really wrong are the characters. 1000 words aren't enough to explain everything so I'll have to be brief. The worst character is Dumbledore. What version of him Kloves & Newell see I have no idea.. I mean, have they read the books at all? Would Albus Dumbledore, one of the greatest wizards alive manhandle one of his own students, especially his favorite student? I should think not. Would he use Harry as bait to lure Voldemort out of hiding? Same answer as above, NO. Gambon can't play him to save his life, Richard Harris could, he had the twinkle in his eyes... something that makes Dumbledore so special. Gambon just comes off as a lunatic.

If it isn't broken, why change it? So why change the first task? Why is Harry getting attacked by the dragon as soon as he leaves the tent? In the book he get's on his Firebolt first... he doesn't run around and almost die for 5 minutes. But then, finally he's in the air and I thought they'd stick to what's in the book but no. There is a chain instead of the dragon being a nesting mother, protecting its eggs. Instead of Harry luring the dragon to get airborne by gently guiding it upwards, teasing it, tempting it, we get this chain that breaks (What happened to the new security measures?) and a stupid dragon that forgets it can fly and has to climb instead.

The second task. This is where a part of me died inside. When Harry get's pushed in by Moody and doesn't re-surface at once Neville goes South Park. "Oh my god, I killed Harry Potter!". I'm sorry but Kloves, Newell or just about ANYONE involved in the making of this movie, how on earth could you let him say that! South Park quotes, although hilarious and one of my absolute favorite shows of all time has no right to be in a HP movie! Didn't you think we'd notice!? *exhale, calm down* The third task. What happened to the Sphinx? What about the Acromantula, we do know they exist thanks to Chris Columbus, why couldn't Harry help Cedric out there instead? So you skipped the Blast-Ended Screwts but you could have at least given us one of the other two...

The graveyard. This scene is very right and very wrong at the same time. Wormtail (Who was just awful in PoA) is just as bad here, and what is wrong with the other Death Eaters? Wormtail including the others are terrified that Voldemort is actually back! One of them flings himself onto the ground, crawling towards Voldemort while begging for forgiveness and kissing his robes, and get's tortured in the book. I think Ralph does a good job of Voldemort, since the make up or whatever they used makes it hard for him to really use his face which is basically the real problem. Where are those red slits for eyes? They're what really makes him creepy in the book... but then again (Yes Kloves & Newell, I'm pointing at you) where is his thirst for repayment of his 13 lost years? I didn't see it at all. There is also a BIG problem with the name Voldemort. It is said out loud at the QWC after the Death Eaters have had a go at the tents but no one shudders? They don't even use You-Know-Who, they actually say Voldemort? Where's the gasps when Dumbledore says Voldemort in front of the whole school? This is something established so early in the series, did you actually forget it?

Why is Harry wearing the newest Levis jeans... what happened to him wearing Dudleys old cast-offs? Perhaps Hermione has done some shopping for him since she apparently has taken a liking to pink clothes.. what was wrong with the blue dress she had in the book? Is blue a more expensive color to make a dress in or something? Or is it because we have to see her girlie side in GoF? First you took her bushy hair... now the pink dress.. I don't even want to know what's going to happen to her in Order of the Phoenix. Also, who the hell was Nigel? Why not use Colin or Dennis Creevey? They're already established characters for gods sake! What happened to Filch? When did he stop being bitter, evil and quite frankly a real bastard? He's the caretaker that wants to whip students, hang them from their ankles in the dungeons dammit, not some idiot jumping around and firing off cannons... and why on earth is McGonagall teaching them how to dance? Would she order a student to place his hand on her waist? I don't think so... even if you haven't read the books you must have noticed that she'd never do that.

I think the only good thing about this whole movie was Ginny. She showed me that she can act (She just didn't get much screen time in Chamber of Secrets, even if she was very promising), that she's sweet and has a temper! Finally a character that's actually working! Although I really did miss the moment where Ron suggests that she can go with Harry to the Yule-Ball. Sure, there's action, there's cool special effects but it's just not what the STORY is about and the story is what makes Harry Potter special, something more then your regular Hollywood script action movie. It, just like PoA get's an extremely well deserved 1.

The Woodsman (2004)

A new chapter for Bacon

[8/10 · 9 April 2005]

I really liked this movie but there's not that much to say about it really. I wanted to turn it of so many times, thankfully I didn't. I've never been a fan of Kevin Bacon, despite the fact that we share the best first name in the world, he just hasn't been a good actor in my book. But with this movie he get's a brand new chapter cus' he's really good. The small bits and pieces dropped by the characters in the movie gives you so much information about who they are in so few words. It's just masterfully done and the whole film is the same way. You don't get much, but you don't need to either. So go ahead, watch this one and don't turn it off cus' you'll enjoy it!

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

A Complete Failure

[1/10 · 27 January 2005]

This movie is terrible, no wait, it's garbage. There is so much BS put in this movie, and the real stuff is removed! Harry and Professor Lupin don't walk around talking about stuff! They speak once in Lupin's office, then they have anti-dementor lessons! There is no toad choir! Harry doesn't even tell Lupin what his happiest memory is! And it's not even his mom! And the worst part in the whole movie, flying dementors, I mean come on!? That was the most stupid thing ever. Dementors glide an inch above the ground.. They just don't fly! I am extremely disappointed in this fake Harry Potter movie. They could have done so much with the material, but instead they say, here's Harry Potter, this is his year, love it. And oh, how could I forget Professor Trelawny? The just missed what her character is about completely. Really disappointing. I gave this movie a 1, and it barely deserves that. The actors are alright, but the script and directing is terrible, just awful. I can understand that people like the movie if they haven't read the book, but seriously, do read the book. It's just so much better.Can't they just stick to what's in the book? Why add stuff? The books are loved for what they are.. Why ruin it? I'm just gonna stop, please don't see this movie, it's a pure waste of time. Read the book, enjoy a true piece of art.