KidRalph Reviews

The Honeymooners (2005)

Missed Opportunity...Wait!

[2/10 · 19 June 2005]

With every other mildly successful TV show or movie from the past being revamped, remade, or reimagined, it's not a big surprise that "The Honeymooners" would get a 21st century update.

Now, having said that, I believe this was a huge waste of an excellent opportunity. Now, I really don't care that the four main characters were reimagined as African-Americans. Hey, if it's a good movie, James Bond could be Black for all I care. This movie, however, given the script, was not worth making.

In fact, let's all just agree to erase this film from our collective memories. The REAL "Honeymooners" movie needs to wait about five to seven years for JOSH PECK from the Nickelodeon Show "Drake & Josh" to get old enough to step into Jackie Gleason's shoes. If you have never seen Peck before, watch the show. He oozes Gleason's influence (he is even an accomplished pool player as seen in one episode).

Of course, this is all my opinion which is probably not worth the time it took you to read this, but thanks anyway.

Long Gone (1987 TV Movie)

Great baseball movie!

[10/10 · 27 October 2004]

How this movie only warranted an HBO premiere and not a theatrical run is astounding. Before "Bull Durham" or "Major League," "Long Gone" is the ultimate tale of "down on their luck baseball team turns things around." I know, it's been done a dozen times, but I love this movie.

Yes, the clichés are all there: "coulda been a star" fading veteran, his love interest, the doe-eyed rookie, the guy who can't get a break, the losing streak, and all that, but this film still works. The dialogue is crisp, the characters are very sharp, and the 1950s setting of the movie is great, shades of a simpler time when base ball was just a "boys game" like the main character Stud Cantrell (played by CSI's William Peterson) says, where "you hit the ball, you run like hell."

The movie touches on real issues from the time as well: premarital sex, racism, and the the like, but never gets preachy. And the ending to the "big game" is one of the more unique I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot of them). The soundtrack is great, featuring gospel, honky-tonk, and some classic Hank Williams.

It's not Shakespeare, just a fun romp with a great cast and a great story. Highly recommended!

Heaven Help Us (1985)

Funny, touching, and underrated

[27 October 2004]

While I can't comment on the accuracy in which the "Catholic School for Boys" is depicted in this movie, having once been a teenage boy, I can attest to having known (or been) a kid who is represented by nearly every character in the movie. I identified most with Andrew McCarthy's character, but saw a little of myself in many of the other kids.

The movie is at times funny, touching, and intense. I believe it has been largely forgotten and was ignored even in its initial run. It is vastly underrated, and if you happen across it in the TV Guide or in the older titles at the video store, it is worth two hours of your life. Recommended.

Quest for Fire (1981)

May not stand the test of "time"

[27 October 2004]

I almost hate to be writing this, but...

I first saw this film nearly twenty years ago, when it first premiered on HBO, I'm guessing, and at that time I am sure I enjoyed it. I thought the idea of having no real spoken dialogue was inventive, the acting was realistic, and the story was about as accurate one could expect with no real history to base it on. I had fond memories of the film when I saw it was coming on the other night on Encore...

Like I said, that was nearly twenty years ago. I decided to revisit the film. Something had changed. It was funny. It was, in fact, teetering between "ha-ha" funny and "I can't believe I'm watching this" funny. Even scenes like the trio of fire-seekers being trapped by sabre-toothed lions(?) which had seemed intense in 198? caused me to chuckle. My wife, who had never seen the film walked in about twenty minutes in, chuckled a couple of times, and walked out about twenty-five minutes in. Don't even get me started on the sex scenes (or is it "mating scenes"). I wanted to still like this film, but I just don't think it stands the test of time. Just my opinion.

The Lion in Winter (1968)

This film makes a great educational tool!

[10/10 · 27 October 2004]

I am a high school history teacher, and I use this film to give students insight to the way Medieval kings, queens, and princes plotted and schemed with and against one another, how marriages were arranged with political motives, and how the relationships between these self-important royals shaped the history of the time. When I first introduced the films plot to my student, I was met with apathy and predisposed boredom, but they quickly were caught up in the intrigue and plot twists. At each major turn (an impromptu wedding, a surprise revelation about one of the character's sexuality, etc.), the students were often literally gasping.

As for the film itself, I can not think of a movie with more solid acting from the headliners (O'Toole and Hepburn) to the other principal players (Hopkins, Dalton, Terry, and especially Castle), and even the other characters are well cast (Merrow as Alais is not especially solid, but she is at least adequate in her portrayal as "the only pawn" in this game of kings, queens, and knights).

It is, of course, not to be seen as wholly accurate historically, as it would be near impossible to achieve such for events that took place 800 years ago, but the major themes are true to form, and the film is wonderfully engrossing. Highly recommended!