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Reviews
Jack Ryan: Falcon (2022)
Did the writers even go to school?
So they are chasing a magical nuclear weapon, which can be used without attribution. There, that's the main plot point.
If you can beleive that, the writers would also have you believe that:
- Greece has direct access to the Black Sea;
- US warships can roam freely in the Black Sea;
- a 3 megatonne nuclear weapon is considered "tactical" and "low yield";
- Soviet cars from 1980s were existant in 1969;
- Russian generals are given Catholic funerals;
- Russian military personell still call each other "comrade"...
So lazy and ignorant writing. Tom Clancy must be spinning in his grave.
Season 1 was OK, season 2 was watchable, but season 3 is insulting.
Prison Break: Ogygia (2017)
Cheesy drivel
Man, I really liked the first season. The second was pretty good too. Then everything pretty much went downhill, and so here we are, with a cheesy, cringeworthy, badly scripted and badly directed mess called "The Sequel".
If you liked the fourth season, you'll eat this with a spoon. If not, stay away from this.
Paycheck (2003)
Rediculos dreck
What a pile of steaming turd.
This has got to be the most ill conceived, pointless, meaningless, nonsensical, badly acted, horribly screenplayed and overdirected A-production movie in the last decade.
It would make Ed Wood cry.
And the shills that clicked this movie all the way to 6+ rating should be ashamed of themselves.
This abomination is not worthy of being reviewed any further and it surely is not worthy of the mandatory 10 lines of text. Do not see it. That is all.
Last Resort (2012)
Laughable
I am a huge fan of submarine movies, having seen Crimson Tide and The Hunt for Red October at least 50 times. I also had huge expectations from this show.
In short: it's bad.
The story makes no sense whatsoever. The realism factor is close to zero. The direction is lame. The acting is unconvincing (Andre Braugher makes an effort but I guess even he doesn't believe the crap they are making him say and do).
Don't believe the 10-star ratings tsunami. There is no way this show will ever see second season.
Down by Law (1986)
Save your time.
I guess something is wrong with me. I pretty much like Jarmush's movies, bit this one...I simply don't get. Having seen all the stellar ratings and having read all the reviews, I expected a good, ENVOLVING movie. Oh boy, was I wrong.
It is slow, so slow you can go and have some breakfast only to find out that it is still the same scene when you return. It's supposed to be deeply into character psychology -- but it's not. It's supposed to make you think deep thoughts, but it doesn't.
Indeed, you can sit in your bedroom, stare at the old white cracked ceiling and reminiscence, but that doesn't mean that the ceiling has any artistic value. The same goes for this movie. You can "read into" it as much as you want, but it's you, not Jarmush. This movie is, in fact, totally void of any content. And yes, the emperor is, in fact, naked.
Armageddon (1998)
There's cheesy, there's super-cheesy, there's Roland Emerich cheesy and finally there's Armageddon cheesy
I thought only Roland Emerich is capable of making such a pathetic cheesy high budget film, but I was wrong. "Armageddon" is now setting a new standard. Never mind the imbecile dialogs, undeveloped characters, Star Wars physics... it's the final scenes that make you wanna puke. American flags all over the place, JFK looking from the wall poster, kids running in slow motion, people hugging...
I mean, come on people! Even Roland Emerich would've been ashamed of this!
To quote Bart Simpson: I didn't think it was physically possible, but this movie both sucks and blows.
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
They should've stuck with Matrix 1.
The first Matrix was brilliant. The story was new and coherent, special effects were in balance with it and overall the film was pure joy. Matrix Reloaded was a mess, too many clueless dialogs and useless kung fu. Matrix Revolutions is a step further in that direction. Only, this time, the Wachawski Bros tried the good old "we're so smart and we ain't giving no answers" routine.
For all those people figuring out "explanations", fascinated with the "deep" stuff this movie has to offer -- GO READ SOME REAL BOOKS, for cryin' out loud! The story is nothing but metaphysics on crack and popcorn philosophy.
The CGI is nice, though.