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6/10
Stupid, Poorly Made and Lame...But Fun
29 June 2009
When reviewing a movie like this, one should consider not even bothering. A film with a laughable plot, often horrid dialog, lame jokes, and that tool Shia LeBeouf should be ripped apart a la "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". However, this does what that joke couldn't do...it entertained.

Let's begin by getting the obvious out of the way. The acting (at least the live action and some of the voice over) was reminiscent of an Elementary School production. The storyline was full of clichés and plot holes and meaningless subplots. Some Autobots were barely mentioned or seen and other characters that were prominently featured just seemed to disappear. The acting direction was a joke and those twins reminded me of Amos and Andy (if you get the reference, kudos).

That being said, when one goes in to see a movie about giant robots fighting, you can't go in expecting something worthy of the IMDb 250. Many have insulted the defenders of this film by saying that they are "mindless" and "tasteless" and should know what a good movie is. Sure, this movie was all those, but it was good escapism. I wanted to see epic fight scenes and good explosions, because that's all I trust Bay to do. What movie of his has had "good" film-making involved? It's going to be bad, but it's going to be fun. If you want a thought provoking message film, you should stay away. If you want a fun, but stupid, ride, go for it. Try to enjoy a few hours of stupidity and stop over thinking things.

Besides, the trailer for "New Moon" was more cringe worthy than this whole movie, so it could be worse.
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Cyclops (2008 TV Movie)
1/10
Wow...Just Wow....
6 December 2008
How Eric Roberts can go from portraying Sal Maroni in The Dark Knight to this is beyond me. The production value, low budget or not, is horrific. The costumes look like they were stolen from a nearby Halloween shop and the CGI looks like an art student got drunk and submitted some stock CG to SciFi.

That, and the gross butchering of Roman culture. The Emperor of the the most powerful empire in history clearly only hires the dumbest and most inept soldier for the city guard elite. These guys make the Star Trek "Red shirts" look like Leonida's 300.

To sum up: Take Gladiator, add a crappy subplot about a Cyclops to make it more SciFi worthy, and then give the staff 1 good actor surrounded by many, many bad ones and a budget of a 5 grade video project, without mommy's help.

I shudder to think about the future of the SciFi channel after Battlestar Galactica is done. Whether you like it or not, you must admit, after viewing terrible stuff like this, it's all they have left.
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Miami Vice (2006)
1/10
A Bad Wannabe Bad Boys II
30 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I never saw the original show, so I will not bring that up in my comment. However, I cannot believe a show lasting several years was this bad. The only way that the audience can truly measure the characters, the lead characters, is through their reactions to their superiors and spouses.

Essentially, the story is very similar to Bad Boys II. Two drug cops in Miami go toe to toe with Hispanic drug dealers, get ahead, then have to risk it all to save a captured girl. This time, undercover cops, Colombians, and 2 captured girls.

Confusing story, crappy camera work, a disappointing performance by both headliners, and a boring time in the theaters makes me hate this film.
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10/10
Remember, Remember the 17th of March....
18 March 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Pure genius. This movie had the best of everything a movie should have. Great story, fantasy elements, unbelievable fight scenes, and the coolest character since Indiana Jones.

Hugo Weaving, in my opinion, has finally gotten the role to define his career. Acting with a mask that hinders emotion and expression, it actually excels the role. Such awesome lines that he delivered would have not been as powerful had he put his (I would say) trademark eyebrows to work. His performance was the best I have ever seen in my life.

Natalie Portman more than redeemed herself for the Star Wars Prequels. Though her accent was, at times, hard to believe to be natural, she did pretty good.

John Hurt was the Shiznit. The perfect example of how a tyrant is. Angry at criticism, weak at death. Best dictator on film.

The movie taught me an important lesson. Everything is based on a point of view. To V, vengeance and destruction are the only way to defeat an evil power. To the evil powers, V is a terrorist hell-bent on disrupting the peace. To Valerie, for instance, she believed that love should not be limited to only one type whereas the government believed that it was disgusting and destroying society. There are two sides to every story and though there might be a right or wrong side to it, everyone believes in something and that belief is worth fighting for.

By the way, I know that many will disagree with me, but this was a great movie. It's going to get snubbed by the Oscars because it was too entertaining and action packed in a non-artistic or dramatic way like Lord of the Rings was.
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