christophe_vdh Reviews

The Mandalorian (2019– )

SW for kids

[5/10 · 27 April 2023]

Everything is explained and recapped ad nauseam. The story is overly silly and simplistic. Dialogue and writing feels like it's made for kids. Disney indeed.

The only redeeming factor is the sense of nostalgia towards the original trilogy, made complete with all the SW humour.

It's hard to understand just why this is hyped so much. After all the disappointing Star Wars shows and movies, I was really hoping this would live up to it's status, but sadly it did not.

I shall force myself to sit through the rest of the second season, just so I can watch the third. I'm told the latter is a train wreck. Approaching it from that point of view could perhaps be more entertaining and less disappointing.

Stone (2010)

Not what I expected

[6/10 · 29 September 2021]

I thought this was going to be a cat and mouse game type of psycological thriller but it turned out to be something else. It turned out to be about losing and finding religion, about spiritual birth and death. It did nothing for me as I'm neither spiritual or religious. The radio playing in the background, talking about God and gun laws aren't relevant to me personally either. The characters in the movie seem lost and the conclusion rather dissapointing. Like the only ones getting something out of this, are the characters and not the viewer. A movie not for everybody but perhaps for some...

Reign of Fire (2002)

Who, What, When, Where and Why.

[6/10 · 28 September 2021]

I get it, it's about dragons taking over the world. Silly as that is, we still need a bit more explaining to make it at least a bit comprehensible. The fuel for tanks and chopper, the large group of kids, the easy way the dragons are killed, ... Seems like you can kill a dragon easier than a whale, all you need is some bait and one harpoon or an arrow. They did take the time to spell out the personal relationships between characters, Butler to Bale: "I'm your best friend." Really need to switch the brain off for this one. If this doesn't bother you, give it a go. Great visuals, really looks like a dystopian world covered in ash and embers.

Daylight (1996)

Hysterical

[5/10 · 28 September 2021]

Our hero Sly really had the short end of the stick here, getting teamed up with the worst side characters in disaster movie history: a hysterical convict trying to kill him, a hysterical convict afraid of doing anything, a hysterical convict afraid of rats, a hysterical kid, a hysterical soccermom, a hysterical dad and a hysterical old couple. It's like they wanted to cast a hysterical character but couldn't pick one, so they all got the part. At this point I was rooting for the lady in the suit telling everyone to forget about the survivors and start cleaning up the mess... because you know, traffic in NYC is bad and we wouldn't want people getting all hysterical.

Suspiria (I) (2018)

Not a remake...

[6/10 · 24 February 2019]

The original is a silly horror full of atmospheric suspense and bright colouring. This film is just boring gore with no atmospheric suspense and mostly grey and bleak colouring. The original had some poor acting and scripting and never took itself seriously. This one takes itself very seriously and tries to tackle themes such as Cold War and WW 2 trauma, none make any useful contribution to the film. There is no need for this contrast. I think the people involved (director, to name one) shouldn't attempt to make a horror film, especially not an Argento remake. This was just silly and far too long. Would Mr. Argento even like this film?

Tomb Raider (2018)

Waiting for the Tomb to be raided.

[6/10 · 1 January 2019]

That is how it felt the first 70 minutes of the film. The start seemed useless and put me off. What was that all about? Lara Croft this was not. Total miscast. Vikander is a great actress but this is not for her. Could have been worse though, like leading in "The Mummy" alongside Cruise. Hope she only does one more or it could damage her career. They should have gone with another cheesy version like Jolie did. The tomb sequences were ok. Worth one watch if you have nothing better to do or watch.

The House That Jack Built (2018)

What is next?

[10/10 · 31 December 2018]

Yes, another LVT film people call pretentious. So what if it is? I loved it. Seems like another failed attempt of LVT to make something. Perhaps this time he wanted to make a dark comedy? Like an attempt at musical with "Dancer in the dark" or horror with "Antichrist" it turned out to be so much more. He could be a genius or just very self-indulgent, either way I loved it. Wondering what else he'll come up with... Going to rewatch this one in the meantime.

The Lodgers (2017)

Pretty, that is all.

[5/10 · 31 December 2018]

It had some nice scenes visually speaking: the lake, the house, the clothing. Other then that it doesn't have much going for it. Not at all scary, the romance is flat and the end is almost laughable. No Poe or Lovecraft here. The makers might be fans though...

Terrifier (2016)

Weaker by the minute

[5/10 · 11 September 2018]

Music great, clown scary, gore nice. But seriously, the old: I'll hit the bad guy just once and then run away bit... You can not do that four times in one movie. That is just plain annoying, which was exactly my sentiment when the credits started rolling...

Red Sparrow (2018)

Above average made good...

[8/10 · 11 September 2018]

... by Jennifer Lawrence. She absolutely owned her part. She makes all the difference here. Solid acting by all but she just steals the show. The intrigue generated in the movie is average. Not many plot changes you don't see coming. All in all a better spy movie than most.

Thoroughbreds (2017)

Who is the biggest monster?

[8/10 · 11 September 2018]

This movie is in no way a comedy. It has some uncomfortably comical moments in it, but that's it. So don't approach it as one. The characters are devoid of any morality and therefore very interesting. The ending, and the thoughts provoked by it, were a breath of fresh air. The question it left me with, you can read in the review title. The greatest thing about this movie is the audio: it fits like a glove.

Cold Skin (2017)

Plot... plot... plot...

[7/10 · 9 September 2018]

Visually this is a great movie. The island and the atmosphere it creates is perfect. The creatures look realistic. The underwater scene was well done. It all made me think of Jules Verne and H.P. Lovecraft.

But that is were the comparison stops. The plot holes are huge and as the movie progresses, hard to look past.

But definitely worth the watch.