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Reviews
Buried (2010)
Thank heaven I skipped to the end
Watched this for 30mins and couldn't believe how terrible the writing was for the main character in the film. The aggression towards those he was needing for help, throwing his phone down and continuous use if his lighter even to see his phone's back-lit display. Unfortunately users of IMDB had given it a score of 7 at the time, so I thought it must get better. I extinguished my zippo that I needed to see my phone's screen, put my phone down and continued to watch for another 15mins...it didn't get any better! Since another reviewer had basically given away the ending without identifying the review had spoilers, I fast forwarded to the last couple of minutes and double checked, thanking my lucky stars that I saved myself an hour of pain far exceeding that of the protagonist!
No One Lives (2012)
Absolute garbage
This is terrible in every respect, the story, the acting and the special effects.
I bet it sounded like an iconic gore-fest on paper, but the levels of stupidity displayed by the characters are akin to a comedy horror. Whilst making a big song and dance about their predicament, few of the characters make any effort to avoid their demise when face to face with their killer.
The actions/equipment/abilities of the main character are on par with James Bond, where he seems to always have just the stuff he needs, or one of the later Rambo films where he's perhaps used more ordnance than a small army.
There are one or two special effects that are outstanding but for the rest, well I've seen worse on "I'm a Celebrity..." during the "jungle trials".
I am quite happy accept buckets of fantasy in a film like this, but you have to have some parts that make sense. It's like the "Fast and the Furious" of slash movies...relying on action to make up for pitiful writing/direction.
Ad Astra (2019)
Sci-fi for Millennials
2hrs 3mins of our life that was truly wasted. I've known nursery rhymes with better writing , more attention to the laws of physics and truck loads more excitement than this pile of space debris! The film Gravity was painful to endure, but it was a masterpiece.
It is supposed to be some social piece...like I said a film for Millennials, but it doesn't really deliver on that. As per usual, some think there is merit in celebrating this rubbish, I do not. I give you it fair and straight, avoid like the plague and go wash those pots, you'll feel better for it.
Blue Steel (1990)
Absolute garbage
From the writing to the direction this was awful, even for its time. From start to finish the decision making of the lead character and the other police match that of the victims in a horror B-Movie!
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018)
Certainly not written for my generation.
This film sucks and what a shame when the CGI is done so well!
Perhaps it would appeal to those that grew up enjoying Power Rangers or Transformers, but to be honest I would guess that it might only be those whose age is still in single figures that would have potentially got something from this dross. Unfortunately I'm guessing that they wouldn't have been allowed to see it in the cinema.
Those supposedly "saving the planet" have less regard for the inhabitants than the invaders, smashing through buildings for no particular reason other than the effects look good.
This fails from concept to implementation and yet it looks like there is another instalment planned/made. This might have made it as a video game, but certainly not as a film.
The Little Stranger (2018)
Why would this appeal?
Long, dull, vague and no conclusion...I'd rather have my teeth pulled than watch this again!
That was all I really needed to say, but I had better make my review up to the minimum 150 characters by adding more...
...While the acting wasn't terrible, it wasn't anything to write home about. It's hard to tell if some is vague or just bad story telling, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt since the ending itself is unclear. It was like watching the TV series "Lost" where everything is a red herring. The same is true here because most actions are open to interpretation and many others masquerade as having significance but don't.
Gassed Up (2022)
Not one for "Petrol heads"
Another load of garbage produced by the BBC. I'll watch anything about cars, even 5th Gear...but not this! I skipped through the latter half of the program and then immediately took it off series-link.
Perhaps if you are a Millennial you might enjoy this weak programming, but as I said in the title not if you are into cars!
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
A lazy effort
I watched the film knowing nothing of the plot only what I had glimpsed in trailers.
I'll start with the good:
- Cameos from many of the original cast, though one key player was missing and I'm not talking about who you might think.
- The special effects were absolutely spot-on, matching the original in style but with the finess of modern CGI.
- Like the graphical effects, the soundtrack harked back to that of the original with a nod in many of the new compositions.
- I enjoyed the references to the original script when they weren't shoehorned in.
- All the tools of the trade were there and it was great to see them getting an outing.
Now the bad:
- The film was just the original in a different location. No wonder so many of the original lines could be used again. I guess they were playing it safe after Ghostbusters II (I have never watched the forced female reboot).
- There was no getting up-to-speed with the tech, everyone just knew exactly what button did what. A scene or two having the kids thumbing through their grandfather's scribbles could have explained this away.
- Without spoilers, there were too many things that didn't make sense. Nobody seemed to do a sanity check on any of the storyline.
I am a huge fan of the original film, the cast, the effects and the music score. I was expecting a new, wildly different story, but all I got was a rehashed "Ghostbusters" with an hour of poor introductions to the new generation, a real shame because the presentation of it all was second to none.
Superman & Lois (2021)
Absolute Garbage
Having given the series 4 episodes, the 4th will be the last.
The premise, writing and acting is awful.
Turns out the "Man of Steel" is a blundering idiot and a terrible parent, favouring one child and then the other with zero compassion for whichever is currently out of favour.
You can guess what's about to happen as the storyline takes unexpected directions in order to set up the next bit of the plot.
Painful and certainly in contention with Krypton for the worst Superman related series.
Universe (2021)
Painfully slow delivery
I was so looking forward to this. An exciting topic and Prof Cox presenting, but hell it's like pulling teeth! The delivery is slow slow your mind will constantly wander...well mine did. I was repeatedly rewinding to catch what had been said because I'd forgotton it was a "talky".
The best bit is the last few mins when they give a little background and present it in a way that IMHO would have been better for the whole show.
I will watch until the end, but wile the graphics are snazzy the program is well below the standards of old.
The Cleaner (2021)
Love it!
He has the balance of darkness/humour just right with this production and has some brilliant supporting actors. Great writing, great acting, great product...well done!
Greg's teacher in The Inbetweeners was fabulous and I have always enjoyed him on panel shows, but Man Down was OTT cack! This though is quality through and through and I'm enjoying every episode.
The only other British comedy that has been worth a watch recently is Ghosts...check it out.
Hollington Drive (2021)
Garbage!
Terrible writing and awful acting. Just more overhyped filler that the terrestrial stations put out!
The Sister (2020)
Like pulling teeth
It's not suspense, it's long drawn out tat! None of the acting is very good, but Russell Tovey should take our government's advice and retrain, not because of COVID but because acting is not his forte.
It's not all his fault but the production is as terrible as the decor in the main character's home.
I wouldn't earmark this for catch-up since you did yourself the favour missing it when it was broadcast.
Green Lantern (2011)
The film isn't that bad but the sound is terrible
Had to sit with the remote in hand in order to turn the sound down during scenes of sound fx, then wind it way back up to hear any dialogue. The sound mixers should find a job that suits them.
Man About the House (1973)
British comedy at its best!
I hadn't seen this since I was a kid back in the 70s and it's just as funny today. An excellent cast and superb writing. Nice to see other actors appearing who later had their own starring roles.
Like I said, one of the best!
Joker (2019)
Bored the hell out of me!
A long drawn out film. Nothing in comparison to the Penguin character's evolution in Gotham.
A Christmas Carol (2019)
Wow, loved it!
The BBC turns out/shows some truely awful productions (see War Of The Worlds), but this was brilliant.
Going to be on my Christmas viewing list again next year!
The War of the Worlds (2019)
Unbelievably disappointing
Truely awful!
Don't bother...no, really, don't bother! Nothing like the story you're expecting to unfold.
The Small Hand (2019)
Also know as Susan Hill's Ghost Story
Terrible, drawn out plagiarised tripe. Watch it at your own peril because that's lots of time you could have been enjoying something good.
Classic Car Rescue (2012)
Might be OK if your usual viewing is soap operas
Very little to do with rescuing classic motors, just terribly staged conflict. Typical American style presentation, no substance. If you like this then check out Goblin Works Garage, you're sure to like that dross too. The chances are you will also be in luck with the latest Wheeler Dealer series as this looks to be becoming "Americanised".
The Other Two (2019)
Wanted to like it, but...
Bland!
I'd laugh if my ass was on fire, but I'm aghast as to why people have rated this so highly. What comedy there is, is obvious, predictable but mostly it's bland.
Was looking forward to this series because the scenario seemed perfect for humour...but as I think I mentioned, it's BLAND!
The Purge: Election Year (2016)
Watch it for the gore not the story
The story and acting are pap, but the gore is OK, though sparse...'nuff said!
The Gauntlet (2013)
Dreadful
Tat from start to finish! There is no story, no sense to anyone's actions, they just bumble along boring the viewer.
If you want to watch something similar but way better then look at the SAW films.
The Miniaturist (2017)
Usual drawn out BBC crud
So far only 1hr into this and hell it's slow and boring. I doubt I'll be watching the remaining 2hrs as I'm sure they will be wasted too.
Nothing surprising from the BBC since its programs are truely awful!
War Pigs (2015)
Cack
Best thing in it was Clint Goss! Dolph's accent seemed more Jamaican than French, lol. The plot was dreadful and the film slow. The adverts in the break were more entertaining than the film!