leon_normand Reviews

Sharp Objects (2018)

Like walking on broken glass

[6/10 · 26 August 2018]

If I'd known then what I know now, I'd have skipped this one. Is this how this group of "artistes" view small-town life? Any wonder that the flyover areas feel disconnected from media?

I hope my walk over the broken glass (a bunch of sharp objects) is worth the trip. Doubt it will be, but I'll be there tonight...

Uncle Drew (2018)

I laughed so hard I drained my defibrillator batteries!

[1/10 · 4 July 2018]

Don't let the fact that I live in Hollywood and receive money for writing reviews make you think this isn't a sincere, honest review of the funniest movie made since the Marx Brothers got old, decrepit, and died. Whoever thought that this one-minute Pepsi commercial concept (edited down to 30 seconds - or even 15 as it aged) couldn't sustain an entire feature-length motion picture MUST NOT be employed by the movie industry!

Take it from me, it can. And if you can't trust me - a professional shill - who CAN you trust?

Loudermilk (2017–2020)

Cut Cutter!

[8/10 · 15 May 2018]

And Tom!

Keep EVERYTHING else!!!

Oh, that's too short for submission... I guess I have to actually SAY that I really like everything about this series - except for the Cutter/Tom storyline. I hope THAT is long enough...

Life (I) (2017)

Scientist/Astronauts needed. Only Requirement is STUPIDITY...

[4/10 · 17 November 2017]

Great Horror Story basis: Create a monster that overcomes all defenses that smart, brave humans erect, then die when faced with some trait existing in even the most common Man (the gender-neutral pronoun).

Not here. Smart, fast, tough monster overcomes incredibly poor design and engineering, aided by impulsive, stupid, powerless victims.

Women protested and boycotted this, right? The "quarantine officer" was the youngest, meekest, slowest-to-react member of the crew. That they made her a woman should have led to a mass uprising of female fury and bile.

I lasted less than an hour. It felt like three.

Rake (2014)

Give it a little time...I detect improvement

[7/10 · 21 February 2014]

I love the Aussie version and look forward to its return to DirecTV in the spring - but I'll watch the Fox version 'til then, and it's getting better! Since the concept is not-so-loosely based on a real Sydney barrister (and I believe a drinking buddy of Roxburgh's) it's not surprising that their character development is FAR ahead of the new series. The legal plot lines are about more relevant issues in the original, and the power players lined up against Cleaver have REAL and DANGEROUS power, unlike a relatively toothless US mayor. No wonder the comedy is more intense.

Since the flat, unfunny premiere the Fox show has started to get funnier and Keegan is shown as more than just a doormat. It's taking a while to get there but the trip might be worth watching...

UPDATE!!!: No f'ing chance. DirecTV is replaying the Aussie episodes that match the Fox versions. How can a US (non-HBO, et al) series compete? REAL language, REAL "sexual situations", some of the most beautiful women in the world largely naked at times. I watch the Fox version because it's ON. It's fun to see how watered down it has to be to make American air. I don't blame the producers...I blame US!

Avatar (2009)

Biting the hand that...

[5/10 · 27 April 2013]

5 for stunning visuals/CGI.

Is anybody else bothered that a movie that RELIES TOTALLY on the latest in technology is, at heart, a completely anti-technology story? The world that the citizens of that world fight for could never produce a movie like this.

Another jarring note (to me anyway): whether you call it Gaia, The Force, or whatever's at work on this virtual world - SOME mystical concept becomes essential to the story. That 'something' would have been religion in earlier movies (pre-2001, A.S.O.?). Write it out of stories if you wish - but please don't reintroduce it under another name...

Prometheus (I) (2012)

A lot like Gladiator, except....

[4/10 · 25 April 2013]

...Gladiator was good.

I gave it a 4 for the pretty sets & vistas.

Example of character decision-making: If a big, donut-shaped OBJECT is rolling at you edge-on, would you A: run straight away from it, making it inevitable that you'll be crushed B: turn right and quickly avoid the object C: turn left and quickly avoid the object

50% of the movie's characters in this situation failed this test...

And that was NOT EVEN the most stupid decision made by a character in the movie, which featured the most undisciplined, careless explorers available on the Earth, apparently.

Horror works when the characters behave logically, even bravely - and they still get slashed, eaten, squashed or whatever. It DOESN'T work with idiots ("Look! A dead crewman is suddenly at the door! Let's open it!!")

BTW, Mr. Scott apparently still has a REAL HA*DON for human-looking devices (Alien, Blade Runner). He doesn't trust 'em...