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Reviews
Miss India (2020)
If AI made a movie
As an American who loves Indian films, I couldn't be more disappointed. This is the first Indian film I've seen, as yet, that's gotten nearly everything wrong! Of course, alternately, this was a fantastic, slapstick comedy; perhaps my perspective is just wrong. I mean, of course not one single American would have an American accent! In San Francisco, every white person has a different foreign accent; some even sound like Siri! Our buildings are all of Indian design; our bridges are modeled after Mumbai's. You can absolutely move here as a foreigner and find wild success building a multi-location chain business within 6 months, and also, that business will fail miserably if you don't make profits for a day or two.
Please, don't anyone think this movie has any truth in it, beyond the fact that chai is excellent. And per that, for the record, coffee shops in the US have carried chai tea for at least 30 years, now; anyone trying to "introduce" Americans to chai in the 21st century would be sorely disappointed. Good acting from a likable lead, good (albeit minimal) music, and a lot of bad CG make this a movie I'm glad I watched- for the laughs- but I would never seriously recommend.
Kin Dread (2021)
Holy fake reviews, Batman!
Why bother including reviews if they're all obviously fake? Do producers somehow profit when people watch their bad movies through streaming services?
It wasn't terrible. But it definitely wasn't good. The lead actor did a good job, but the supporting cast- especially the actor playing Leonard, whose attempt at acting was borderline painful to watch- could've been bested by a high school drama class. As another reviewer mentioned, the "twists" are not that at all, there are really no big reveals, and what might have been an intriguing story, of penned by talented writers, ultimately falls flat. Oh, and bonus points for the disgustingly misogynistic sentiments of the lead's adoptive dad. Gross.
La Brea: Origins (2021)
That boy is me
I get it, I get it. Magically transported 12,000 years into the past; suspension of disbelief. But please tell me how a blue-eyed child grows into a brown-eyed man.
Massive, surprising reveal? Honestly? How about the last in a long series of ridiculous impossibilities? They cancel good shows for dreck like this why, exactly??
Surveillance (2008)
Terrible film, but good acting
I must say, when I saw this film at a 6.5 on this site, I figured it was well worth a view. I was sorely disappointed. From nearly the opening scene, it is obvious the two supposed FBI agents are, in fact, the killers. Could they have made it any more obvious? If that is the intended "twist" in this film, that's pretty sad. While Pullman and Ormond are excellent actors, even their talent is no match for a reprehensibly bad script. Pullman adeptly acts the part of a sociopathic killer... and that's the problem. There is no switch from "I'm playing FBI guy!" to "I just killed 12 people and boy, are my arms tired." You can't blame the actors... the story fails in far more ways than one.
From the onset of the film, however, I was certain I was wrong, that no director/writer would ever be so blatantly obvious about a plot "twist." Ormond and Pullman must just be acting strangely in order to divert the viewer's attention from the real killers, I thought... which gave the film's makers far too much credit. I should have followed my instincts and turned off the movie before it even made it past the 15-minute mark.
To Lynch's credit, she did manage to interject many things that make a good film: sex, violence, humor, and well-trained actors. Too bad they were in the wrong configuration. Hopefully Pell James can recover from this role... I found her performance particularly impressive, as the stunning drug addict-turned would-be savior. She should have rewritten the role so the "crack whore" would win.
Those people who have compared this film to Natural Born Killers, take note: Tarantino made the characters of Mickey and Mallory reprehensible, yet sympathetic. The artistry of that film far overpowers the gore, and this is not seen once in Surveillance. Surveillance only wishes it were Natural Born Killers... in fact, it has wet dreams about being even a fraction of what that film was. Folks who haven't seen Surveillance... stick to something with a little more intelligence. Like Camp Rock.
Dirty Filthy Love (2004)
Excellent Film, Accurate Portrayal
Dirty Filthy Love is the story of Mark (Sheen), a man afflicted with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Tourette's Syndrome. Nearly destroyed by both his afflictions and a pending divorce, he seeks help from a support group led by Charlotte (Henderson), a fellow sufferer. The quasi-love story that follows details Mark's descent into madness, and his slow rise back to social acceptance, and acceptance of his disorder and himself. The one element which might give one pause, however, is the ignorance of Mark's initial physician at the nature of his disorder; while Mark is first diagnosed with depression, his malady is obviously textbook Tourette's and OCD. Regardless, spectacular acting by Sheen and Henderson, brilliant story.