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Speak No Evil (2022)
Good Beginning/Horrible Ending
I was ready to rate this 8 or 9 out of 10, up until the absolutely ridiculous ending. The husband not telling the wife why they had to suddenly flee, after discovering the horrific "memento" room, was absurd. The parents' subsequent refusal to do *anything* to fight back felt totally unrealistic. Come on! Their child is *mutilated* in front of them then *taken*, and their response is to obediently strip down and allow themselves to be killed??? I am not a violent person, but I would've done *anything* to fight back. *Anything* to stop the woman attacking my child! Doing absolutely nothing was ridiculous and ruined the film, for me.
Orphan: First Kill (2022)
No suspense . . . and unoriginal
Because this is a prequel to the first film, where Esther's introduced as an orphan, there's precious little suspense, as we already know she cannot be killed, or even maimed, in this one. We also know she will most likely kill every member of the family, otherwise she wouldn't be an orphan for the first movie. When the audience knows what the ending must be, filmmakers must go above and beyond to deliver suspense. Sadly, they were not up to the task, here.
The bigger problem for me, though, was the big plot reveal midway through. This was done in another film, or maybe a TV show, not all that long ago. The twist, in fact, was the exact same: mother and older sibling knew the returned "missing child" was actually killed by the older sibling and the corpse hidden, while dad was none the wiser.
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022)
Flawed Appropriation
I just finished this one, after taking a break from it to read the original book, which I enjoyed as a child but could barely remember. As an adult? Well . . . I loved it!
So, this new movie. They make a big deal out of it being stop motion, but a *lot* of it looked like CGI, to me, and there are, indeed, plenty of digital VFX credits at the end. The story itself bears precious little resemblance to the original book, and I'm not sure moving the story to fascism-era Italy makes any sense. Then again, the Italian people have apparently forgotten their history and recently elected a fascist Prime Minister. Anyhow, I didn't much care for the new story, I loathed all the songs save one, and I really hate that they *drastically* changed the ending. They also did *not* need to make it two hours long, in my opinion. It felt interminable to me, and I kept checking how much was left.
It did look nice, though.
Oh, I used my translation app on the monkey's name. Spazzatura is Italian for Garbage. What the heck?
Antropophagus (1980)
Gory, yes . . . Good, no
I swear the filmmakers thought up the two gross-out scenes first then tried to make a movie around them, and a stultifying bore of a movie, at that. The pace is glacial and the killer moves even slower, yet still no one can escape. Oh, please.
Another Life: Smoke and Mirrors (2021)
Wretched
Yes, this show is absolutely terrible. The story and situations make little sense, and the "scientific" aspects are beyond ridiculous.
That said, people complaining the main problem is it is too "woke" are just pathetic bigots who can't handle the fact that not every human is white, heterosexual, and cisgender.
Day of the Dead (2021)
Weak, weak, weak
We gave up after the first two, lackluster, boring poorly written, atrociously acted episodes. There have been some great zombie comedies, and, in the realm of television, "Z Nation" and "iZombie" both managed to mix horror and humor successfully. DotD does not, unfortunately. The biggest problem is the wooden acting from far too much of the primary cast.
Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow (1959)
Delightful parody!
Sure, it's light, but it's a great parody of teen films, car flicks, and monster movies! The writing is sharp and the dialog had me laughing out loud repeatedly.
Soft Drinks and Sweet Music (1934)
Weak Songs, Ridiculous Story, and Racism
I love good songs from this era of movie musicals, but, sadly, there are none in this short. It's a pity, as quality musical numbers *might* have helped make up somewhat for the ridiculous story and multiple white people appearing in blackface.
Rock Legends: US Punk Rock (2020)
Total Mess!
What a mess of an episode! It jumps around in time constantly, features the New York Dolls (a great band) far too prominently, leaves out scads of important artists (Suicide, Patti Smith, Dead Boys, Television, Germs, Black Flag, Minor Threat, Flipper, Weirdos, X, Minutemen, etc.) and gets what few facts they present often woefully incorrect. For example, US punk bands did *not* eschew guitar solos and the Dead Kennedys second album was *not* the birth of hardcore.
Mat Franco's Got Magic (2015)
Pathetic
A sad mixture of children's party tricks, blatant camera trickery, and faked reactions from "audiences" who are clearly in on the tricks.
Mat Franco does pull off one remarkable feat, however: he outdoes Criss Angel for shameless, attempted deception of gullible TV viewers.
Return to Glennascaul (1952)
Strictly pedestrian
The only thing that makes this pedestrian variation of the vanishing hitchhiker trope of any import is the presence of Orson Welles. Though it is beautifully filmed and the acting is competent, the story is extremely predictable.
First Day (2020)
Beautifully done!
I binged this today on Hulu and thought it was excellent. The story was compelling without being preachy, and the acting was superb. It's sad that at least one other review has attacked it for having an "agenda," when the only agenda is that people deserve to be accepted for whom they are. Being transgender is not a mental illness, no matter what small minded people claim.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Utterly pointless
Good director. Good cast. Weak ass piece of crap movie.
Zombies invade a small town (pop. 768, but built up considerably more than such a small populace would warrant) while Tom Waits takes the place of a Greek chorus. Bill Murray and Adam Driver are the local law enforcement officers who never seem particularly phased by what is happening. They occasionally make reference to the fact that they're in a movie, though, so I guess that makes sense? Zombies wander aimlessly, looking for things they had in their lives, like coffee, free WiFi, and candy, but there are far more corpses of recent vintage than such a minute town could possibly produce. There are also some very weak attempts at social commentary, with references to the racism of MAGA and consumer culture. The former made liberal me cringe, while the latter was lifted from "Dawn of the Dead," just like the WiFi I mentioned above.
The Devil and Father Amorth (2017)
What a load of baloney!
In order to push that demonic posession is real, Friedkin:
1) talks about the inspiration for "The Exorcist," but omits that the "possessed" boy faked it for attention.
2) uses special effects to alter the sound of the "possessed" woman's voice during her "exorcism"
3) talks to psychiatrists then blatantly lies that they believe in demonic posession.
Pathetic!
The Dirt (2019)
Sound and Fury, signifying nothing
While it's enjoyable as a film, as is the book on which it's based, the fact that Mötley Crüe are an aggressively mediocre band composed of vile people remains.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Unforgivable
We're five episodes in and that's as far as we're going. Just reusing character names and the setting from a classic and putting them in an entirely different story is kinda ridiculous. Putting them in such a lousy story is unforgivable. Writer/director Mike Flanagan and Netflix should be ashamed.
I usually wouldn't rate something I didn't finish, but we've suffered through five hours of clichés, weak jump scares, and overly pointlessly non-linear writing. Enough is enough.