Change Your Image
daves-room
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Maleficent (2014)
The Grinch in drag...
Watch the scenes where the Grinch falls for Cindy-lou and you'll really see what I mean, all fluttery lashes and sideways glances. And another thing, how come the 3rd 'Good' fairy wish was interrupted to set up the save, only for Grinchina to do it herself anyway? I know it's a kids film but everyone knows at least 1 take on this tale, and in each one the last fairy saves the day! if you want to change a tale, don't do it mid bloody scene then forget what you did and leave the set-up still in play! Way too poor a script for anything to unfold properly, a lack of anything from the 'godmothers' ('where is Arora again, all night,for the eleventh night in a row?' 'dunno!' 'stuff it then, lets have a pizza!' 'yay! we rock at babysitting!' the moral of the story... 'Women that beat you as a baby may not do that when your old eno'... 'no'.. 'Godparents' are shite at babysitti'... 'no', 'OK, er.. all men are evil and must be destroyed?' 'yeah, that works'.
The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)
wtf...
you will no doubt have read other reviews explaining paper thin plot, dire dialogue, Russell 'Cow' and a strange android who apparently used to rap, so I will not bore you with such piffle.. but I have just discovered that the film was intended to be a much longer, perhaps 2 part grind- house run. If that is true, then the nonsense I just paid 6 poxy quid to watch and now cannot un-see, ever, would probably have made a bit of sense. I mean, imaging reading 1/2 of a book, skipping every other page.. It would be gibberish, right? Well, same here. By all accounts the director was talked out of it. So I suggest to you, Mr Arzy, that if you are indeed a 'gangsta rapper' from 'da hood', a certain Mr Roth will be making headlines pretty soon. In a 'they also found a carrot in an orifice' sort of way. Have some dignity, man.
La piel que habito (2011)
really?!
Dear lord.... after reading so many glowing reviews of this 'arthouse masterpiece', Pedro Almodóvar's oeuvre was to be honest slightly comical. I was expecting more than a pantomime, a French farce of a film, a Scooby Doo episode with rape scenes, but here it is. it is not shocking, horrific nor psychological, nothing on screen causes the slightest bit of tension due to the lack of character and because of the pretense of the piece to assume that 'I will love it because it's hip', frankly it rather annoyed me. Not a single character makes sense, scenes appear to be crow-barred into place so an extra piece of 10 minute narrative can be made, and most of the film would have been just as affective if it was told by a stranger around a camp-fire.. 'It was on a night like this' indeed... Banderas, whilst doing a great job, just doesn't make sense at all and has half a dozen changes of direction - Is he lonely? Is he evil? Is he a dirty old man? Hmmmm.. Juries out on that one. Still, at least the leading lady yet again catches her death in the name of narrative! And while Elena Anaya is painfully lovely and just about the only consistent role, the story is told with such pantomime it truly is difficult to feel the slightest bit sorry for her. This won a BAFTA? Really?! Is the viewing public that starved of entertainment that this was the best thing on offer? 'Martyrs' is horror. You want psychological thrillers, take your pick. Stop giving this man money! it only encourages him!