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Reviews
Salinui chueok (2003)
Top 10 ever
I've seen a few thousand films in my life. Mostly good ones. Seven Samurai is my favorite. This movie has wigggled into my top 10 of all time. Some great movies I can't watch again. Even Schindler's list. I can watch this again for all the incredible acting, tension, and complete lack of red in any scene except the red clothing of the victims.
Also, it's great how they vanish unnecessary characters.
Acting while eating is hard. Directing lost of people doing different things in once scene is hard. Having theater actors acting like they are in the theater is hard. This director does it all.
I'm trying to make this review long enough but it's hard to get enough characters in here to reach the 600 limit.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 4: Sanctuary (2019)
Seven Samurai
This plot is nicely lifted from Seven Samurai which is fitting since George Lucas borrowed heavily from another Kurosawa film Hidden Fortress for the plot to Star Wars New Hope IV.
Her (2013)
Spoilers Freaking Everywhere!
1. Pants 2. Siri can read 80 million books a second but can't predict the lawsuits from the people who paid to have the letters written? 3. Safety pin 4. Red, orange and pink. 5. Aren't elevators faster in the future? 6. When is LA building the subway to the beach? 7. Pants. 8. Scarlett's Johansen looks foxy in this film. 9. Making my OS face. 10. Pants.
How come this has to be ten lines? IMDb is racist against Haikus.
Is this good enough?
Pants pants pants.
Good Lord Jesus what does it take to make you people happy?
Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)
White White White
This movie has so much whiteness in it, you will die of cold dark icy whiteness. Folk music is white. All the actors are white. There is no spirituality, soul, rhythm, funk or beat to any moment in this white movies starring white people living out white lives. This movie makes High Fidelity look like an episode of Soul Train. White.
That being said, there is genius to this turtleneck fiasco. There is no magic here. I don't mean "magic" like when you first saw a girl you knew in elementary school at the pool after 8th grade. I mean: There. Is. No. Magic. Not one single coincidence. Nothing works. Nobody bumps into anybody. A special song never comes on the radio. You know the right place at the right time? Not that. Never. Not once. Mr. Davis misses phone calls and has to pay for things and never gets ahead. The rug that really pulled the room together? Not here. There is no toe and it's past 3 o'clock. This movie is an absolute black whole of utter magic-less horror. Blackful blackness without a thimbleful of black magic. Just utterly long scenes of driving. Midwestern bleakatude times infinity. DOn't talk to me about the cat. He is not black. And he has no magic. It's not even the same gosh-for-saken cat. Abysmally devoid of the usual magical movie timing predictable magic amazing it-all-works-out magic. Black.
It's not easy to take a basic movie plot (and some fake instrument playing which, for me, from a very early age, has caused a whole-body breakout of festering hives) and take OUT all the timing and typical predictable movie mechanisms thereby leaving a sort of movie antimatter which might, once it comes out on DVD, have the capacity to bond with a magic filled movie like Raising Arizona and create an explosion that would level the entire universe. So be careful.
Pacific Rim (2013)
I've seen all these movies before.
I saw Pacific Rim. If you like the Ultra Man TV show, Rick Moranis in Ghost Busters, McFly in Back to the Future, actors that imitate Matt Damon, really long touching choked-up tear-wiping scenes between a father and son, chronic epistaxis treated with Altoids and the rainy neon-lit city scenes from Blade Runner, this movie is for you.
For no clear reason, I liked it.
Eye rolls: 15
Cringes: 6
Check my watch: 3
What is that accent? 7