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Reviews
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Should have been a silent film
This is the worst movie I have ever sat all the way through. Had I not had been playing chaperone/chauffeur for the girls basketball team...I would have walked out of the theater. Gorgeous scenes, neat effects- and the most inane screenplay ever penned. Even a good actor like Ewan Mcgregor can't pull lines like, "This is why I hate flying", out of the cinematic toilet. I found myself thinking "Oh PLEASE don't say...", and the insipid line which had crossed my mind would be the next words spoken. It just was very distressing to know what was coming next, and that it was going to be bad. I think the visuals alone could have told the story. And it sure would have made it more tolerable if everyone could have kept their mouths shut. 1/2 out of 4
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Burton tried too hard
Positives: Visually stunning- beautiful scenery and photograpy; unbelievable special effects; well played- for the melodramatic way it was presented; humorous moments along with the scary; and well...it's Johnny Depp!! Negatives: Actually, every not so great moment in the film can be wrapped in the shroud of "trying too hard". As a huge fan of suspense, but not gore, I think Burton went way too far trying to shock with gallons of blood instead of brain. Other than the name "Ichabod Crane", there is very little in the movie which resembles the original-and far scarier-Washington Irving story. It seemed that the goal of the show was to make the audience go, "EEWWW!", instead of hold its breath in fright. I realize some people are into gore...if that is the case then this is one you shouldn't miss. As for me, as a Depp fan- one viewing all the way through was enough. But I do pop in the DVD occasionally and skip through the spewing and squishing to Johnny's clever, sensitive, melodramatic Ichabod. 6.5/10
The Ninth Gate (1999)
RUINED by horrible soundtrack!
I was genuinely nervous before I watched this movie. Supernatural themes are always the scariest to me, and to be honest, I'm just too old to lose sleep over a scary movie. Well, I decided to suck it up and be a big girl. After all, it was one of the few Johnny Depp movies that I had not seen- I was on a quest to see them all! I was pleasantly surprised to find that despite the advertising, Ninth Gate was not terrifying in the least, but rather psychological and somewhat smart. Intriguing story, not the greatest, but unlike anything I had ever seen before. All in all I could have enjoyed this movie (aside from the fact that it came to an abrupt halt...as if they ran out of money or film)had it not been for the horrible soundtrack. It was completely distracting, and did not fit the mood of the scenes it should have been enhancing. One suspenseful scene was backed by what sounded like a sit-com track. If you decide to watch this one, either turn down the sound when no one is speaking, or turn it up to discover how a soundtrack does affect the whole experience.
Ruby Cairo (1992)
Sad day for die-hard Neeson/Mortensen fan
"Liam Neeson" caught my eye as I walked past the DVD bargain bin. I picked up the case and flipped it over. "Viggo Mortensen". That's all I needed to know- into the cart it went. After all, I'd pay almost as much to rent it. As a die-hard fan of both actors, I'm proud to say I endured the entire 90 minute mess. Of course, my attention was not in appreciation of the movie itself. Nor was it the (usual) amazing ability of the 2 leading men. My attention was sophomoric at best...I was watching just to catch a glimpse of their lovely faces and to hear Neeson's throaty brogue. I knew that it would be so from the beginning of the opening credits- I actually rolled my eyes and said, "Oh please" before the story(?!) even began. Unfortunately, they are on screen a tiny fraction of the time. So in the end,I realized I'd have been more satisfied washing the dishes with scenes from Les Miserables or A Perfect Murder running in my brain.