I feel like my intelligence was just majorly insulted. This was the biggest pile of crap I ever saw. The script, the direction and the acting were all terrible. I'm appalled. I think they made the whole thing up as they went along. Just awful.
Reviews
42 Reviews
The King's Man
(2021)
Yawn-fest
12 February 2022
Probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Dull, over-long and unnecessarily complicated. Also, what is it with film makers that they feel the need to have music playing constantly? I don't think there was a single moment when the music wasn't dictating how I should be feeling. It's just incredibly irritating. I was mightily relieved when the film ended.
The Bay
(2019– )
I'd rather dig my eyes out with a spoon
29 January 2022
Seasons 1 and 2 of The Bay were just about tolerable. Season 3 however is the biggest pile of badly acted drivel I think I've ever seen. I got through two episodes then had to stop before the sheer awfulness of it made me throw myself under a bus. Grim, grim, grim.
Universe
(2021)
Wonder-ful
7 November 2021
I suppose you can't please everyone. There's always going to be people who whinge and complain about things. I was very surprised though to read the reviews of Professor Brian Cox's new BBC series Universe. They were either moaning about the music, or criticising the presentation style. I would like to completely disagree with all the moaners and say I absolutely loved this series. It was stunning to look at, beautifully scored and superbly presented. I understood about 1% of it, but that's ok. It fired my curiosity to hit up Wikipedia and find out more. I take my hat off to all the brave and intrepid scientists and explorers who have boldly gone where I absolutely never will.
Well done again BBC for another fantastic documentary series.
Well done again BBC for another fantastic documentary series.
Superb
6 November 2021
We weren't expecting much to be honest, being so disappointed lately with most movies. But this installment in the PA series is actually really good. The acting is excellent, as is the script, and the build up of tension works well. The last 45 minutes or so had me totally gripped. A very exciting and refreshing change to almost every movie of 2021 I've seen so far. Well worth watching!
The Deep House
(2021)
Soggy
6 November 2021
Even though the concept was what made us watch this in the first place it turned out to be nothing but an appallingly amateur, badly written, shockingly acted waste of time. The script was ridiculous, and the delivery of the lines even worse. Overall a huge wet mess. 1 out of 10 for the concept but that is all.
Old
(2021)
'The dog's dead!' 'But it was only just alive?'
26 September 2021
Warning: Spoilers
What a disaster of a movie. It sounded like a group of 10 year olds making the story up as they went along. Terrible, terrible acting, awful script, ridiculous story, appalling directing. What a shame. Signs it ain't.
Finding Vivian Maier
(2013)
Intriguing, but...
25 June 2021
I don't know what it is about documentary makers these days, but almost without fail they seem to want to drown every single moment of what could otherwise be a fascinating story with annoying music. There's almost never a quiet moment. This fascinating film about an eccentric character who took what turned out to be incredible photos is no exception. Every single minute is filled with twee plinky-plonk. It's beyond irritating. Why do they do it? Are the words and pictures not enough? Do they think we're too brain-dead to focus for an hour without a constant background of muzak? Anyway, despite this absolutely unnecessary and superfluous ear-torture this was a beautifully shot story about a very intriguing woman, and her work is in my opinion second to none. 7/10. It would have scored higher if it weren't for the dirge.
The Vanished
(2020)
Keep going and it almost works
29 October 2020
You will wonder what level of hell you've wandered into when you first start watching this. The acting is dire. The editing is terrible. There are so many utterly baffling decisions made that you will find it very hard to sympathise with anyone at all. But, hang on...the last 10 minutes suddenly makes it all (almost) worth it, and with the benefit of hindsight you'll find yourself going...ohhhh...NOW I see... 6 stars because it's actually not awful and the ending is actually quite surprising and a little heartbreaking.
I May Destroy You
(2020)
Raw, real and incredibly powerful
17 July 2020
This show has hit me like a ton of bricks. It has got to me in the same way Fleabag did in that both shows have absolutely pushed back boundaries for women on screen. Finally we see real women, doing real women things, coping with real life issues. Not some airbrushed, polished, fabricated, pretend version of women men usually like to watch. Michaela Cole is an absolute genius, and this show is a triumph. Huge congratulations to everyone involved. I'm 5 episodes in and I do not want it to end.
Brahms: The Boy II
(2020)
Honestly, appalling
1 April 2020
The original movie was pretty good, for its type. I watched it a couple of times as I quite enjoyed it for what it was. This effort though...oh my god. The worst acting I have ever seen, the most clichéd script, terrible music and zero scares. Where they dragged the actors up from I just don't know. The director should be ashamed. Doesn't even deserve a 1.
Ozark
(2017–2022)
Beyond compare
1 April 2020
I normally run a mile from any show that's to do with drugs/guns/mobs/cartels/money laundering etc. They just don't do a thing for me. But...I love Jason Bateman's work so much I thought I'd give this a go way back when season 1 just came out, fully expecting to hate it/be so confused it just wouldn't be worth it for me. How completely wrong I was. Ozark is simply incredible. It is beyond compare. I have struggled long and hard to find fault, but I am completely unable. If I could give it 11/10 I would do so. The characters are so beautifully drawn, the script is tight and fast, the story arcs breathtaking. Every single person involved in this show should be so, so proud. I finished season 3 this morning and am still reeling...I cannot wait for season 4.
Very one-sided?
10 February 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I spent a couple of hours yesterday reading up on the White House Farm murders. Whilst the evidence is pretty overwhelmingly in favour of Jeremy Bamber being the perpetrator, this is still however an active case as far as I know. ITV's 6-part series, whilst ok in part, was seemingly very one-sided, and to someone who didn't know anything about the case at all it would seem completely cut and dried that Jeremy did it. That all said, the series was OK - some performances were excellent, and others definitely not so much, with rogue accents popping up all over the place. I found that in particular to be very irritating. I've rated the series a 6, as it is enough to spark your interest to then go and read up about the real case.
Marriage Story
(2019)
A punch in the gut
29 December 2019
I'm lost for words. Marriage Story has left me almost speechless. What an outstanding movie. There was not a single moment that I didn't love, and I did not want it to end. I hope it wins everything going, but especially Adam Driver. Wow. I cannot heap enough praise on this film - HUGE applause to absolutely everyone involved.
Totally get why people didn't like it but... wow
6 December 2019
Going to stick my neck out and say OUaTiH is truly astonishing. It's a Marmite movie - you'll either love it or hate it, but boy, did I love it. It's a masterclass in movie making/acting and I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. A gem.
Itsy Bitsy
(II) (2019)
Someone call childline
16 November 2019
So this family rock up at their new, empty house, and the mother immediately abandons her two kids and expects them to unpack all their possessions/erect beds/set up lamps etc etc, which, somehow they do, then leaves them alone every day while she goes and enjoys a hillbilly heroin addiction in a café. Oh yes, and there's a spider. Occasionally. Bloody awful movie. The director should go and hide in shame.
The King
(I) (2019)
Just not sure
4 November 2019
Ok, as far as Netflix fare goes this is probably among the best it has to offer, although that's not saying too much. The King was ok - it looked good, and the acting was reasonable. However I found the music to be incredibly intrusive as it barely stopped droning for the entire movie. Why? Why do that? We don't need to be told what mood to feel all the time. Most of us are quite capable of working that out for ourselves!
I found the whole thing a little overblown, and even forced. When compared to something like Wolf Hall for instance this is rather pale fare.
So 6 points out of 10 for Joel Edgerton for his accent, which was great, and for the overall look of the film, but that's all. Sorry The King.
I found the whole thing a little overblown, and even forced. When compared to something like Wolf Hall for instance this is rather pale fare.
So 6 points out of 10 for Joel Edgerton for his accent, which was great, and for the overall look of the film, but that's all. Sorry The King.
Alien
(1979)
After this, nothing was ever the same
10 October 2019
I wish it was possible to give Alien more than a score of 10. It really is utterly perfect, and it's impossible to imagine an alien movie after this that wasn't in some way influenced by it. A true benchmark movie, with acting/cinematography and music second to none. I've watched it 100 times and will never tire of it. 40 years old this year! Blimey!! What an absolute triumph. One of the best movies of all time and definitely in my top 10.
The Perfection
(2018)
Absolutely terrible
30 May 2019
I originally gave this a 3, but I'm not sure why as it wasn't great to start with. The script was awful and the acting was worse. Several 'twists', and the script's descent into something my 7 year old grandson could have done an infinitely better job of writing later and I lost the will to live and downgraded it to a 1.
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