Janet1612 Reviews

Kingdom (2007–2009)

Is there an edited version without the sister?

[5/10 · 3 May 2024]

I wanted to give ten but had to drop a few because the awful actress playing the sister (she's the same in all her roles). I like Stephen Fry - even more now that he's not all over the TV and news. Anyway it's a lovely, gentle series with great plots and wonderful scenery. I watched it when it was first aired and again recently. I was thoroughly enjoying it UNTIL the actress playing the sister appeared. I'd forgotten all about her. She is miscast and difficult to watch as despite her extremely strange features is referred to as 'beautiful'

Stephen Fry is great as Kingdom and a natural actor. His assistant is good too - when he's not overacting (which is most of the time) . I'm currently watching via streaming and thank goodness I can fast forward the silly and irrelevant scenes showing his sister. The male characters all fall over themselves for her, she acts as though she's a great beauty (double yikes) and the episode where she gets her kit off for an art class is plain daft and a waste of screen time. Why on earth is that character even included?

New Tricks (2003–2015)

Enjoyable - but spoiled by a cast member

[3/10 · 19 April 2024]

An enjoyable watch especially as the team are solving old crimes. We see the start of the set up of UCOS and choosing ex Old Bill to work on it.

There are some great stories and some not so great but the characters are relatable and well known English actors (in the early series)

My gripe (and that of most people I know) is the actress playing the boss. She's a good actress but when her character eats, she's no lady. One of the early episodes has her stuffing her face in an Indian restaurant and eating the leftovers of others. OK no big deal but the expressions on her face are ridiculous, as is the scene- she also ordered many dishes that probably do no exist. She actually made me feel ill. We then have her eating again staring at the camera making the most stupid of faces- why? The scenes are irrelevant and bring nowt to the story. The other issue with her is when she smiles- goodness it's strange. Thankfully her character doesn't do it too often.

For a woman in a men's environment she wears clothes that show a lot of cleavage - why?

Brian is my favourite character- but not when he eats. Gerry, played by the late great Dennis Waterman is a great character who says it how it is.

Another gripes ,and an odd issue, is that for a cold case team they often investigated their own choice of case, not those brought from their seniors. How was the team kept on if they had no official cases to solve- an oversight by the writers.

The series changed cast members as time went on and the standard went gradually down - Nicholas Lyndhurst was sorely miscast.

Desperate Measures (2022)

An OK drama despite the over acting of Amanda Abington.

[6/10 · 25 March 2024]

This was OK. A bit of a daft story with stereotypical characters, a baddie with a gun, a dumb drug runner and a dumber school kid. Single mum, short of money, kid somehow gets involved with drug baddies, mum now owes money. Luckily she works in a bank!!!.

It was such a shame that Abington felt the need to overact with the constant ridiculous facial expressions and her over the top touchy/feely actions and baby references to her teenage son. Actually he lapped it up which is odd - usually it'd be a 'gerrof' if mum tries to cuddle a teenage lad, and call him darling. She was always cupping his face in her hands and hugging him tightly. Too much. In most scenes she was putting all she learned in acting school into her performance - it makes it so unnatural, forced and a 'look at me, I'm acting'. She's a good actress and doesn't need to do thiis.

The outstanding actor in this series was Sunetra - playing Abington's work colleague . An understated, natural performance. No over acting, Nothing to annoy viewers.

Despite the appalling acting of the son (can't recall his name) and the ridiculous baddie, this it was watchable, if daft. Abington needs to curb her annoying facial expressions as they were a distraction.

Hobson's Choice (1954)

A gem of a film - just as films should be

[10/10 · 18 March 2024]

An absolutely delight of a film. So much humour and wonderful lines and acting. I'd watched Little Women before it, with the smarmy, sickly sweet March girls and needed something realistic.

The bickering sisters, the horrible and comical dad and the absolutely wonderful Will Mossop played by the great John Mills.

There are so many wonderful scenes. I love it when Mr Hobson is sharpening his carving knife awaiting his dinner - hidden under a serving dome, only to be shown 'jellied tongue'. Maggie is great and I just love her and her brash but caring ways.

It's such a great film and a shame that classics like this are no longer made.

Trial & Retribution: Shooter: Part 1 (2009) Season 12, Episode 5

Poor episode to end a good series on

[2/10 · 7 March 2024]

The series was good to start with. Two part stories that actually seemed to go on forever. Good storylines but so many longwinded, unnecessary scenes.

Sadly Mike is still around, hands in pockets playing the tough but short cop. This episode was very convoluted with some poor acting by the Belkin family. Sally Alexander (had to look her name up from the cast) is playing the stereotypical matriarch of the thug family. Chewing whatever it is she is chewing and speaking with an accent that seems like she's auditioning for Eastenders. Every scene she overacts and towards the end we all burst out laughing.

To be honest we lost interest as the the story was so unbelievable it was laughable.

Fish Town (2011– )

A great series about REAL people doing REAL work

[10/10 · 25 February 2024]

I came across this by chance and never thought I'd be watching a documentary about a fishing town and its people. After the first scenes and the wonderful voice of Kenneth Cranham, I was hooked.

The couple who run the fish restaurant/cafe and who have their children helping out are great. Their children have instilled in them a sense of earning money, and the value of it. A great thing to have - also gaining confidence in interacting with the adults they serve. Another reviewer unfairly states the dad sounds 'like a woman'. He doesn't, he has a hoarse voice like the brilliant actor Con (something or other). They seem such a great couple, although I wouldn't want to be served by kids when I eat out.

Logan Suddick - what a wonderful name! He needs to be a pirate. I hope he does well, although why he decided to get tattoos on his neck and ruin his changes with the navy/marines was pretty daft (and they look awful). He's 17 and his girlfriend is pregnant - not a good start in life.

In all, the series is wonderful and extremely interesting, looking a life in a world famous very busy Devon fishing port. The town looks (and is, we've visited) wonderful and the Pirate Festival scenes had the sun spreading a deep red glow over the goings on. We're due for another visit.

The fisherman throwing out coins as good luck - you give back to the sea what you take out - was very moving.

I'd suggest people watch this and see that you can have a great life, despite the hard work, if you are dedicated, good and want to do something with yourself.

This Beautiful Fantastic (2016)

A lovely film - and Andrew Scott!

[10/10 · 17 February 2024]

A lovely, quirky film with a wonderful Anna Chacellor as the wild haired strict librarian and as great as ever.

Andrew Scott is his brilliant set and plays a great part. I ust love hearing his voice and watching how he portrays his given character.

There isn't much to the story only that Bella is lonely and has a grumpy neighbour. She's instructed to sort out her garden or face eviction. She works in the library where she meets Billy. Things progress from there.

There's a lot of humour and quirkiness and I sat and thoroughly enjoyed every minute. Ann Chancellor is so funny as the librarian.

Boudica: Queen of War (2023)

Muddled tale with poor performances from mum and kids

[1/10 · 6 January 2024]

We should have had a great tale of a great a warrior, her life, battles and death. Instead we were given a muddled tale with hard to hear dialogue and diabolical acting from mum and her daughters - those girls were wooden and monotone. I'm sure one of them referred to mum as 'muvver'. Cringeworthy.

It would have helped to have a bit of history, a map of where the King and Queen were located in Britain and where the battles were and where the tribes were from.. We were given nothing as though we were supposed to know the history.

The battles were gory - as expected, and too much time was spent on them. Too much time was also spent on the King and Queen kissing and cuddling and thankfully stopping before things went further - I couldn't wait for him to die. The traitor was obvious from the start.

Anyway, extremely disappointing that they couldn't find an actress that could manage a decent accent - I'm sure Boudica wasn't French.

A missed opportunity.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Sublime (not) message- how would we really act

[1/10 · 9 December 2023]

I loved the deer with their 'Paddington' stares. Loathed the product placement and lack of editing.

Family book a holiday rental for a short break. In the dead of night a couple turn up on the doorstep purporting to be owners. They give a vague/lame excuse about why they are there despite the house being rented out. Everyone, including viewers are suspicious. It turns out the couple (dad and angry daughter- arms folded emitting hate, and prejudice) are the owners. Though we all still need convincing.

Satellite black out, no devices working. What's going on? We spend forever watching to find out and aren't told. Instead the writers show us us pointless images. They drip fed us info on people wanting to withdraw their money from banks and get away, also the bunker in the neighbouring house. Yes we get it!.

The beached boat would have been steered by its crew. So that was pointless. The drone full of leaflets wasn't explained: terrorism or flyers for a video game?. The radio told us the blackout effect on animal migration, so that explained five flamingos and a herd of deer with threatening 'Paddington' stares. No other creatures- CGI budget ran out?

Angry tattooed woman- soo subtle. Her chilled out chat with Clay had her later telling dad he wanted to bed her. I'm paraphrasing! She also questioned why the family were sleeping upstairs whilst she/dad were sleeping in 'the basement' - albeit a designer furnished basement. Yeah we know what she was implying in both comments. Subtle eh? How did she forget the family upstairs were paying good money for the privilege of staying in her family's holiday home? Someone please explain

Visit to neighbour for help/medication. In the real world this would have been: Hello, sick boy with teeth falling out, do you have any painkillers? Response: sorry mate no. I stocked up on food etc but can't help.

In film world we have tension, mistrust, anger and.....guns! Remember GH's house was his second home. He also states they hardly visit it, therefore neighbour isn't his great pal; he hardly knows him. Attempting to show how people can easily turn on friends seems pretty pointless. Plus holiday rentals usually supply a first aid kit.

Until the boredom set in the film was going well - despite angry tattooed woman. Mum and angry woman staying in shed forgetting they were supposed to be worried and searching for missing girl. Yet another scene just to waste time. GH and Amanda dancing- another time waster. Would her character have chosen that awful album? I suppose the excuse was she was drunk!

NB Reason to suspect the couple on the doorstep was their inability to explain convincingly why they were there. Angry wife (as we thought) arms folded across chest and emitting hate, anger and prejudice.. Anyone would be suspicious.

The constant references to Friends (subtle eh) and evidence of mistrust and 'I hate people' just assume the viewer is an imbecile. A film trying to be clever and failing. Remake the latter half. Instead of being lazy, give us a story. Oh and change the awful soundtrack.

Eagle Eye (2008)

A load of tosh

[1/10 · 8 December 2023]

Premise sounded good. The weird looking kid added a bit fun (MAD magazine?) .

Sadly it the same old stuff- nothing new to see here!

After all Jerry went through and being up against time, he still had time to swap clothes with a security guard he'd beaten up - and the clothes were a perfect fit Amazing These little things make films more believable 😀😀😂😂😂.

If the film had been set in the future- 2050 maybe- it would have been a little better with the computer and Big Brother nonsense.. I was praying for Jerry to save the day. Would he or wouldn't he? Would we have a predictable ending. Nail biting stuff. Not.

Too many ridiculous car chases and not the best acting performances.

Murder Mystery 2 (2023)

For pre-teens

[1/10 · 6 December 2023]

I recognised Adam but not his co-star and then I realised who it was. Yikes!

I thought Racheal- oops I mean Jennifer as she's playing Racheal - wanted to be in movies and I assumed good movies. This is dire. The script is awful with maybe one or two funny lines. One that isn't and is typically juvenile is: "I need my vape, it's in my pocket". "Oh there it is, oh no that's your penis". Tee her. You can hear the ten year olds giggling.

Mark Strong and Adeel Akhtar are wasted here. But hey ho Netflix must be paying mega bucks to attract them. What's the excuse for Jenifer and Adam! I suppose as Jenifer is ageing pretty badly she needs to earn as much as she can.

Nothing to see here- silly jokes, a kidnapping where everyone is a suspect. Some bad acting. Cue an English special ops investigator. Note this: he is English.

Man Up (I) (2015)

Dreadful lead actress- annoying character and performance

[3/10 · 4 December 2023]

The opening scenes had me squirming in my seat and nearly reaching for the off switch. The awful actress was overdoing it a tad. Are they new teeth? She kept showing them to the camera. Maybe her first role? Over acting, eating and talking at the same time, attempts at comedy all failing. Worst person to have sitting opposite you on a train (yuk to the food she was eating and how she was eating it) loud and awful - no on wonder she is single. Then comes the brilliant Simon Pegg.

An OK film. It would have been so much better with a different lead actress. If only Pete had met the real Jessica.

The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Comedy?

[1/10 · 4 December 2023]

This may have been good at the time of its release. It's not dated well. I like Bruce but what is he doing in this picture? The bloke playing Oz was the bloke from Friends and was playing the bloke from Friends. Boy was he annoying.

The woman playing Oz's wife is dreadful! Her acting is atrocious. Plus that accent. The actor playing Oz overacts and his attempts at comedy (facial expressions and falls) are too much. If only he'd stuck to a comic script and toned done his ridiculous act

The opening scene with him cleaning his teeth made me feel sick, and as a dentist his look of disgust at the state of his patient's teeth was silly and childish. OK he's a dentist but we have Oz cleaning his teeth again! Why?

I find it extremely hard that the blonde would find Oz attractive. He hasn't the looks or screen presence for a love interest.

Lots of violence, sex, nudity and TEETH. Yikes

The dancing at the end was cringeworthy- Oz trying to do a comical dance (Mr Bean?) Please just stop it!

The Holiday (2006)

Surrey? Winslett's performance is dire and annoying

[5/10 · 3 December 2023]

Firstly, I have to say this: The world and its wife knows that Carey Grant is from BRISTOL and not Surrey. Different counties and different sides of England. How can the writer make such a stupid mistake. Why didn't Jude or Kate correct them!

Winslett is not a naturally comic actress, unlike Diaz who is very funny without trying. Winslett is not even convincing when laughing at a dinner party. Yet she's usually good in her films (except the awful Ammonite but that's a different story)

Jude Law is great, Black unconvincing as a love interest. Not enough of the beautiful Rufus.

Surrey looks beautiful - it is beautiful (but it's not where Carey Grant was born and lived).

A nice little film, predictable with many editing problems and little annoying errors, but fun. Sadly Winslett ruins it.

Glass Onion (2022)

And then there were none?

[2/10 · 3 December 2023]

Agatha Christieesque plot, except the guests all know each other and original 1960s film can't be matched.

Daniel Craig is fantastic, as he was in the first Knives Out. Looking even more like the brilliant Norman Wisdom. Blanc is a great character. Great to see Hugh too. What a surprise!

I don't recognise the rest of the cast. Only as aging Goldie Hawn's daughter (how does she get offered roles!). Anyone could have played Miles, but Ed was good. Andi's eyebrows are scary!

To the plot. I'm not sure why it would be difficult to hide a certain item on any of their persons! It was all nonsense

Random references to unknown people: Harriet Tubman Jeremy Renner, Gillian Flynn Jared Leno. Serena?? Love the Bowie and Beatles music.

Uncharted (2022)

Tom was great- script and co-stars not

[2/10 · 3 December 2023]

Tom Holland is great - shame his character was given gum to chew as his mouth was open as he did, we could hear him and it's the most unattractive look.

Anyway I love films like this but not this one. Wallbergh just played the same character he always does. The two women were pretty weak co-stars and brought nothing to the story. One looked like something out of a sci fi film (maybe she wondered on to the wrong set) the other just flew about in perfect makeup and hair. Both performances were very bad

Antonio played himself as always. The SFX were good but like most in this genre, over the top whilst attempting to be clever.

Boring and predictable script, even at the end.

Christmas Reservations (2019 TV Movie)

Second rate Z film - didn't realise they still made these

[1/10 · 13 November 2023]

I love a Christmas film but it has to be half decent. The opening scenes with father and daughter at the ski hotel had my heart sinking. Dad is the worst actor. Facial expressions, gestures clearly show this and that's before he speaks his lines. He didn't get any better.

Then the two women with obvious facial work appear; one who has a permanent grin on her face, making her look even more odd (new teeth?). Even when she spoke it was with a grin, very distracting. Can you believe the champion skier is amazed she's a 'grandma'? Eyes need testing? Haha. Their facial work is too distracting. I like MJH in the witch series and she's OK here. . Not an outstanding performance exactly. Her old beau from college hasn't aged well!

It was all so predictable I suppose what else was I expecting. A couple can't be together as it's 'family first' mmm I I wonder where we going with this.

Made in 2019 it seems some films just haven't moved on - second rate script and actors, bad and predictable script.

NB: first Christmas card was trivia question was correct, but they should have mentioned it was made and sent in England. Johnson AND Edison made the first Christmas lights.

Reframed: Marilyn Monroe (2022)

The feminist's attempt to re-invent Monroe

[1/10 · 11 November 2023]

I've watched and read many biographies of Marilyn and this one takes the biscuit. There are women in the programme (and so many of them) speaking to the camera and each saying their piece as though they had their snippets of information directly from Marilyn herself. These woman are so desperate to believe that Marilyn was in control of 'her own destiny', and that SHE was the one who invented herself as self-made screen sex symbol - even her name. Everyone knows that Marilyn 'suggested' or was asked about Monroe for her new name - suggested mind you. These women state that she fought to keep her mother's name 'as a sign of strength'. We all know it was the studio who created her and yes (oh dear how shocking) it is MEN that head the studios. So eager to believe and tell audiences this 'story' of Marilyn as a strong, independent women just to suit THEIR needs.

We are told time and time again that the Marilyn on screen is not the real one. The real one is a woman who wants to be taken seriously as an actress and intellect (cue the photographer on standby every time she opens a book and pretends to read). They even believe her tale of posing for the nude calendar was for money to pay the rent/buy food; 'she had no one to support her'. She was still married to Jim Doherty remember. We are told that with Arthur M, she had a chance do things with a family she didn't have before - yet earlier in the series we are shown the age old footage of her prancing on the beach with her foster siblings. They are weaving their story of Marilyn. Yes, re-framing is actually re-telling in their way.

These women hate the fact Marilyn wasn't taken seriously by the great Laurence Oliver. Well, he was no different to any other actor working with her - he was exasperated by her unprofessionalism of forgetting her lines and frequently turning up late. She lost the respect of others with every film role. Yet these women all saw it as Marilyn 'showing him she can be bad'. By turning up late?? Have they seen the Billy Wilder footage of his complaints? Surely if she was so intelligent she would have proved herself by being early on set with lines ready and remembered. Just as a professional would have.

Silly Arthur Miller, a middle aged man is enamoured with a dyed blonde sex symbol and believes himself in love. Even after the sad miscarriage, there Marilyn is as usual posing, eyes lowered, smiling coyly, revealing dress, full make-up and yet still these women blame men 'the predatory feeling about the paparazzi'. If Marilyn was that intelligent, why agree to be smiling and laughing in the car - why not go out the back way. Ah, publicity of course. These women say she is a comedic actress too. Honestly - she's stinted, wooden and that quivery voice and movement of her mouth, plus the baby voice is just awful and makes it difficult to watch her.

Let these women believe she created her own destiny, they even think she was 'playing' with JFK. Honestly they are deluded. At her death one of these women (an actress/biographer?) is telling us that there was no tragedy in the latter years of Marilyn's life. Don't think her life as sad. Really? Mmm let me think. In her last film role she was ageing badly, she was sacked/replaced due to her lateness and forgetting her lines (yet again), she was ridiculed for her awful (drunken ) performance at JFK's birthday celebrations, no one wanted to be associated with her and she died alone. I think that's tragic.

Let's leave Marilyn in peace. Let's have no more attempts at trying to make her as something she wasn't. She was a B movie actress who made her way to stardom by her looks and figure (T&A as the women put it), none of her performances are great, they are just OK. She plays 'Marilyn' in every film role, except Bus Stop when she attempts a southern accent which isn't exactly hard to do.

Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

Why change the location? Isla is great

[3/10 · 18 October 2023]

Isla is very, very funny but it's a shame the location was changed to New York. Do people know that there are wonderful designer shops in London, where the book was set. Not everything centres around the US. As with Girl of a Train, the change of location is such a disappointment to those who have read the books.

The actor playing her dad is well known and boy does he overact in this film.

Suze is just too weird to watch, I nearly switched off when she was over doing the wide eyes and talking with her mouth full, letting us viewers see the popcorn!

All in all a watchable film, Isla is great in it and a natural comic actor. Unfortunately we had the American OTT auction at the end.

Departure (2019–2022)

Poor, poor, poor

[1/10 · 7 September 2023]

First of all, the music is distracting and is constantly playing, drowning out the dialogue. What is the point of this if we viewers can't hear what's going on.

Poor dialogue- the man whose daughter has died is asked by the airline official. 'and her mother'. He replies She died five years ago. Leukaemia'. Honestly.

Helpful to see where the scenes are set London, England. Phew, I thought it looked like London, Portugal.

Some poor acting too. Dougray Scott - he should stick to his normal accent.

It looks good.but my goodness it's a muddles mess with poor dialogue which is extremely hard to hear. TV and film makers have got to sort out their music departments and reduce the plume of music and NOT have it playing during conversations.

And Just Like That... (2021– )

What happened to SATC

[1/10 · 1 September 2023]

I came across this on a streaming site and loved the old series. What have they done? The episode I watched had a perfectly made up (and very unlined/odd face) of SJP in bed. Hair and makeup perfect. The bloke with her was OTT perfect and fake. He even had grey streaks through his hair. Aww to show they are all older? They are obviously in their early 60s but act like silly teenagers.

Charlotte arrived (yikes, her face) and makes some strange and weird expressions as if to say - who is this? We think it was supposed to be a comedic moment - questioning with her eyes (she could hardly move her face). Didn't work. She does say who, what, when. The worst acting I have ever seen.

Then the 'inclusivity', which is great but a little overdone here. We know one of them is a lesbian - don't need to have it thrown in our faces.

Terrible fashion, awful stretched and fake faces. Fake everything. No laughter, poor script, no drama, no nothing. So glad my streaming site wasn't via subscription. They have ruined a great series.

Who Is Erin Carter? (2023)

Dreadful acting. Lead actress not likeable

[2/10 · 25 August 2023]

The blurb and trailer looked OK (as three is nothing else on TV). The lead actress has a strange English accent and there's something about her performance which makes her unlikeable.

The script is dire- they are English but all we hear is hey, hi, baby, babe. Harper, the daughter (yes Harper what kind of a name is that) wears the most ridiculous spectacles which I think are a joke. All the actors speak in strange accents- even the children. They're not Spanish and they're not English. .

Erin may have a past but I wasn't going to waste my time finding out. Her accent is odd and her acting is too annoying and poor. The kid playing the daughter is odd too.

Alpha (II) (2018)

Great prehistoric designer clothes

[4/10 · 16 July 2023]

Supposedly set many thousands of years ago (blurb description is 'prehistoric'). Well, If you can suspend belief and forget about the Ugg-style boots, fur trimmed, bespoke anaroks and trousers, the man bags, the well groomed hair and facial hair, it's a watchable film.

It reminded me of the Disney films as a kid which would come on TV and because they weren't animated you didn't really want to watch, but would end up watching them.

A nice, predictable story with wonderful and breathtaking scenery and beautiful skies.

Unfortunately it' seemed to go on forever - I made a few cups of tea and put ingredients into the breadmachine.

Spaced (1999–2001)

Mad, hilarious and still as funny today. Laugh out

[10/10 · 8 July 2023]

I last saw this series way back when it was first broadcast and it recently popped up on streaming channel. It's still laugh out loud and the humour is relevant today.

Simon Pegg and Jessica Hynes wrote the series and went on to bigger and different things. Both are naturally talented. I loved the flashback/dream/ fantasy scenes and they really work.

Not only is the script very funny and very clever, the acting is superb and so natural; Marsha, Mike, Brian and the devil child Amber (do we ever see her?).

Of course Mike (Nick Frost) and Simon went to make their hilarious films. I recently watched some new US 'comedies' (yikes!) the makers need to watch spaced.

What's Love Got to Do with It (1993)

An OK bio drama

[3/10 · 7 July 2023]

I love biographical films. I'm not and never have been a fan of TT, but the film was watchable. I'm not a fan of singing kids either and the opening scenes with young Annie in the church choir was cringeworthy.

Anyway we progress to the singing and Annie's mum says what we've been saying for years: she's screaming like a maniac, not singing. At times the actress's facial features were almost skeletal and nothing like lovely Tina.

Progress to fame and there is Tina with an arms like a body builder and very masculine, and that wig! The real Tina's wigs were great but the actress had on something that was five inches above her head, it looked ridiculous and we were surprised at the lack of research.

Nothing new to see but the music - well some of it- was enjoyable.