justin-ismond Reviews

State Property (2002)

Merely an excuse to put Beanie and Jay Z in a film

[2/10 · 5 March 2023]

The plot is paper thin with no real stakes or story beats that build in a normal script. Simply stringing one scene to the next with no sense of storytelling or purpose. The characters are not particularly memorable and they are there mostly as fodder for Beanie to be a jerk to. The film meanders from one banal violent scene to another without any purpose other than ' this guy is a mean gangster'. The acting is abysmal and the film ends without making any points, just a collection of random scenes and bad acting. How does this film have over 4 stars on amazon prime lol its one of the worst gangster films I have seen. Avoid it!

Rolling Like Thunder (2021)

Interesting Perspective

[8/10 · 17 January 2023]

This movie is a peak into the world of Graffiti writers who vandalize freight trains. Its gives some nice details on the history of Graffiti and how it is one of the main elements of Hip Hop Culture. There is some interesting stories behind the motivations of the writers and how long they have done this kind of art. The art is pretty good and there are some ideas that resonate with anyone who has wanted to leave their mark on the world, to prove that we actually existed.

Not all of the film is as good as some parts, the flow could have used some work and maybe taken time to just see what its like for them. The variety of writers was kind of slim, TBH I would like to see more big names and highlight some up and coming talent on the radar would have been cool. Overall it was a fun watch for people who like counter culture art and fans of similar films like Style Wars.

The Raven (I) (2012)

Heavy Handed with Little Nuance

[3/10 · 24 January 2021]

The film reeks of post 2000 production style - heavy emphasis on the creepy dark look of the movie, poor hamfisted writing, actors chewing on the scenery and dialog so incredibly on the nose, there is no place for subtlety. The characters either whisper so low and inaudible you strain to make heads or tails of what is being said, or the film is hitting you over the head with loud violence and gore. There is no depth to any of the characters, they feel like cardboard cutouts from a Disney period piece, silly cartoon like characters that dont even seem to take their roll serious so it feels more like an exercise in overacting. I was hoping for an atmospheric slow burn detective murder mystery, but this is more like a cheap carnival ride, avoid it unless you just need something mindless to keep you from boredom.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

What Did They Do To Poor Luke

[4/10 · 25 December 2017]

I went into this movie with high expectations after TFA, and was quite a bit disappointed. First I will start with what I enjoyed - 1. Film had a good start, the look of the CGI and and starcraft looks great. 2. Story begins with a decent setup and interesting characters to get us into the action and story 3. There is some good performances from the cast overall, I thought the acting was enjoyable.

Now for the things that I think kind of messes up the film - 1. The length - this movie should only have been 90 mins, there is so many boring and unnecessary scenes that just drag on and on. How many minutes of bad guys screaming "Fire the Canons" and "Destroy that ship" do we need over and over ad nauseum? After halfway I kept hoping the film would end but it just keeps going and going - the last battle scene on the planet felt like purely to sell new toys of the lame ski-speeder and walkers. Same with the horse scene in the casino, it felt pointless and made a ham-fisted point about rich people and war.

2. The desecration of Luke - this film hates Luke Skywalker and does its best to make him out to be a complete jerk and pokes fun at star wars fans and people who look at him like a hero. Its painful to watch your childhood hero parade around like a parody of himself full of the '2017' self aware ironic humor which goes out of its way to break the 4th wall. By the time he does anything good in the film you already hate his character as much as the director and it comes across like a 'who gives a damn' moment. Shameful.

3. The plot - once you realize the entire movie is based around a bizarre space chase scene moving at a snails pace, it all starts to fall apart. They try to explain away this boring slog by saying the resistance ships are too fast for all the New Order ships even though the new order probably has many more fleets to call in to block them or cut them off. There is so many parts that make no sense. How did they manage to ride around these horse things through walls and with perfect control around a casino? When Snoke is killed why does no one care? His guards dont call in to report his death? WTF??? When they find him dead they are just like "whatevs" and move on like snoke is a nobody? Yoda shows up to burn Jedi books with lightning? Luke fights using an astral projection but it kills him.. or something or he just takes off because hes a jerk or something I guess. Leia can fly through space? The list just goes on and on.

Overall its an OK movie at best that is obviously aimed at the kiddos with some cool visual effects. As a long time Star Wars fan it comes across as a confused mess that makes out Luke to be the bad guy.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Fassbending - the movie

[3/10 · 25 September 2017]

I saw this movie for free on a flight recently and I had been not really excited to see it after hearing the reviews. I am actually a big fan of the Alien series, but mostly due to the art of Giger and his alien designs. For me the main issue I have with this film is the lack of focus on the Aliens and making the cyborg/ synthetic human the main character of the film, as was similar in Prometheus. Fassbender's character gets extremely pretentious and annoying quickly from the stupid introduction of the film and it gets worse from there.

The rest of the cast feels shallow and most are there as fodder / food for the aliens without much for the audience to connect to or care about. They stupidly walk into a series of increasingly bad choices and expectedly get killed without much of a ho hum from me. I would have loved to see a better character similar to Ripley or Hicks who can emerge as totally basass characters or just something relate-able. Here it feels like the only character the director cared about was Fassbender's.

The whole good robot/ bad robot dichotomy just did not work for me at all and I was perplexed they couldn't be bothered to think of a better plot. So we get lame drawn out scenes of the robot guys (both are played by Fassbender) talking to each other and musing about art and music and boring crap that doesn't really belong in a film like this.

To me the plot was trying too hard to explain that the aliens were created by David or something, which really ruined the mythos of the movies for me. From the first film, we get these mysterious clues to what the race of the 'space jockey' aliens may have been and that they encountered the dangerous xenomorphs - but now I guess the navigators were human type beings who ended up being infected by the black goop from the Prometheus movie and delivered by the cyborg David or whatever. Boring! Why did we have to explain away the origin of the Aliens? It would have been much more interesting to keep them as a force of nature, not something to be controlled and fathered and evolved from a juvenile plot twist.

Last I have to harp on the look of the aliens. Again, what happened here? Seems like they wanted to move far away from Giger's designs and we get these very stupid looking aliens with smooth human-like skin and personality traits like having a cyborg dad that can command them (wtf?). Really the only thing I thought was kind of cool was the lab Fassbender's character had setup to test on previous crew members and experiment on alien species with some good artwork and creepy settings that I feel the movie needed way more of as a horror flick.

Summary - bad plot focused on the wrong crap, they should have used an idea from the Alien comics series by Darkhorse where there is a wealth of better concepts and SOMETHING DIFFERENT, instead of trying to re-tell the same 'land on alien planet, unprepared' shtick with less likable characters.

I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

rape culture movie

[2/10 · 18 August 2014]

I watched this expecting a horror movie, and I had not heard of the original. I kept hoping the gratuitous rape scene would end but it just kept dragging on and on and it really seems like the only reason this film was made. There is only minimal satisfaction in the revenge scenes but they take a back seat compared to the rape worship. Also some ridiculous plot holes. Why would she go back to the cabin instead of heading to the police station to file a report? Why does this sheriff who is a father not seem to care that he is committing such an act (he has a daughter)?

It is definitely not a horror movie, more like a 'this is why you should not rape even though the director loves it' cautionary tale. Very disgusting and really no point to the whole thing, quite a waste of time unless you like watching a helpless woman get raped and yelled at for what feels like most of the movie.

Top of the Lake (2013–2017)

interesting but flawed

[5/10 · 8 August 2014]

I really wanted to like this series more. It starts out well and really gets you invested in these characters while you keep guessing what will happen. My first problem is with the pace. It takes these long asides from the main plot to develop the characters. Usually I wouldn't mind but here I began to lose interest when it seemed like nothing is going to happen. All of the sudden at the very end it has some big reveals but I think many things could have been brought in sooner.

My next issue is with the story. Way too many holes in the plot - especially the police work. No one on this police force cares about the kids? Really? Not one person except the detective? Why even have police? Next every woman in this town has been with Matt? He is completely irresistible to any woman he meets? How does this make sense? I had a hard time suspending my disbelief.

I liked Robin's character and kept wishing for something with more dynamic like a buddy cop or one other person on the police force who would at least be a little bit decent.

The Great Gatsby (2013)

unimpressive

[4/10 · 8 August 2014]

As I watched this film I kept asking myself why I should care about these characters. Because this guy is rich? That seems like the only point to this movie. What are the stakes? The story of the little kid who wants to be someone is more interesting than the characters that keep parading around flaunting wealth while the film tries to distract with the visuals and awkward soundtrack. I found myself wishing for something besides partying and how great it must be to be rich white people. There is no depth to anyone in this film, it is more like a long music video for vapid pop music on the radio - real lowest common denominator stuff, all filler and no substance. Unlike other viewers who dislike the film, I never read the book so I watched with an open mind (I also really like romeo and Juliet from the same director, so I had some hope).

The music made no sense, at one moment its all jay z then the next it is period music. How about a little consistency?

The only good thing about the film is when it actually tries to tell a story instead of gratuitous partying.