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Two Witches (2021)
Two Bewitched To Quit
The promotional photos and the trailer for Two Witches had me hooked on a hope; that we actually might get a film with scary witches again. I always prefer my witch movies to be dark and scary, mainly due to the fact that the first witch that I think of whenever I hear the word, is Haggis from Pumpkinhead (1988). Luckily, Two Witches is a very, dark and very wicked film. France native Pierre Tsigaridis, really packs a lot into his debut feature that follows the old school patriarchal narrative of witches . There's not many movies nowadays that make me scream multiple times, or make me say "ew", but this one did both many times.
Sinister things happen in this two-chapter story when an old dying evil witch passes her powers onto her granddaughter who enjoys causing chaos and destruction.
The first story, "The Boogeywoman", is the scariest story. It revolves around expecting mother Sarah, who is paranoid after she sees an old crone with white eyes staring at her while out with her partner Simon. Sarah starts hallucinating, but of course, her partner Simon blames it on her hormones and doesn't believe her. Sarah and Simon visit their friends Dustin and Melissa, who don't take Sarah's situation seriously, and have the ever-so genius idea to bust out the Ouija board and conduct a séance. Take a bet how that goes.
"Masha" the second story, gave me a much needed breather after having my heart in my throat from the first segment. Although it's the less scary and more gory one, I consider this segment to be the story of the film. It's about the Boogeywoman's granddaughter Masha, who is a narcissist down to the very letter. She blames people for abuse that isn't real, and even steals her roommate, Karen's, past relationship trauma and uses it as her own to gain sympathy. Once she inherits her grandmother's legacy, Masha takes things a step further that makes this story take a Funny Games (1997) turn. Like a true narcissist, Masha never loses her cool and remains stable because she's not attached to any of her victims.
Two Witches might be a scary as hell blood-soaked nightmare of a film, but at its roots it touches up on deep-rooted personal issues like narcissistic behavior and the victims of it, as well as the fear of motherhood and having no control. Pierre Tsigaridis mixes a bag of old tricks that still work with modern filmmaking techniques and the result is an achievement of true fear. "The Boogeywoman" segment is the scariest thing I've watched in a long time, and had me dreading every oncoming scene due to how brutally relentless it is. I was petrified the entire time. Two Witches is a love letter to the likes of Argento and Fulci in its style and tone, but steps up the scares to current times.
Abnormal Attraction (2018)
Like Shrek for adults!
I went into watching "Abnormal Attraction" not really knowing what to expect, but I knew it was a winner just a few minutes in! It's filled with creativity, originality and witty, likeable characters. There are quite a few big laughs in the movie, and the makeup fx are really well done.
Sure "Abnormal Attraction" had a small budget, but it is a prime example of an independent film excelling both in entertaining the viewer and also in being completely endearing.
Kudos to the cast and crew for working ridiculously hard to make this film, and for bringing credible actors into the mix. It paid off.
If you're looking for something fulfilling and laid back to watch then put the kids to bed, get yourself a beer (or several) or a glass of wine and kick your feet up and watch this movie.
Hopscotch (2014)
'Hopscotch' (Screener Review)
What I wasn't expecting about 'Hopscotch' is how character-driven it is. It's 85% dialogue, and that's not a bad thing. Nowadays you get too many films that don't sit you down and get you to know the characters, but that's exactly what this one does. It's a female-centered story, and while the concept is simple, and not overwhelmingly creative, it works really well. Though a lot of talking does occur, it's conversation that you want to listen in on, and it never gets boring. The whole time I was watching it, I was waiting for the catch, I knew there had to be one.
Sure enough, the ending was just gory and twisted enough to give horror fans their fix, while introducing them to something fresh and unexpected. My biggest complaint is that I wish this were an hour long feature, instead of a half hour (26 minutes to be exact). The ending comes unexpected, but is welcomed due to it's sense of macabre. And there's no denying it's a very thoughtful piece of wicked cinema. It's not perfect, but it's far from mediocre or bad.
In order to make 'Hopscotch', the cast and crew came from all over the United States, including Maryland, Ohio, and California. It was also in pre-production for six months, and just took less than a week to film. It was filmed in St. Mary's, Georgia in December of last year. And, the project even joined up with the Coastal Georgia Film Alliance, and was filmed at the Goodbread Inn Bed and Breakfast. It's set for a 2014 summer release, and it's directed by active military member Kirsten Walsh, who has done 10 films already in her career.
Afflicted (2013)
Boredom is all you'll be 'Afflicted' with
The first things that came to my mind when I was watching 'Afflicted' was how it's yet another found footage film. I understand these types of movies are hot in the filmmaker community, if not just for the financial benefit of them not costing much to make, but this trend needs to die off already. Or at least tone it down. Found footage features are getting to the point of zombie flicks now, with how many terrible genre installments there are yearly. I think that as of now, unless it's done by a well known director who I support, I'm staying away from this sub- genre. It offers nothing new, and has been used to death.
We meet Derek (Derek Lee) and Clif (Clif Prowse), and we find out that Derek has AVM. Basically he has a tangle of blood vessels in his brain, and his time in this life may be limited. If there's an accident, and he hurts his head, that's all she wrote. So, rather than bask in his own self-pity and misery, Derek decides that he and his best friend since childhood, Clif, should tour the world. Of course, they have to film the entire experience for a live travel blog that they title "Ends of the Earth". Clif, wants to spend the time with his buddy before it's too late, he may not get another opportunity like this again in Derek's lifetime. I appreciate the character's chemistry and history, and you can tell that they're bond is real. Both seeing their interactions on screen, and the photos of them as children, it's easy to see that the friendship is legitimate.
After meeting up with some friends who are in a band, Derek takes a girl back to he and Clif's hotel room. When Clif arrives later, he finds an unconscious Derek who's also wounded on his face, and has a nasty gash on his left bicep. After refusing to see a doctor and get his head and wounds checked out, Derek starts acting strange, and he throws up a lot in a restaurant, causing a scene. And his face and hands start burning, turning red and covered in welts. After constant refusal to see a doctor, his 'affliction' worsens, and the film goes in a different direction than I expected.
Aside from feeling and looking ill, Derek realizes that he has the ability to now punch through rock walls, and break rocks in half. He can also run over 160 miles per hour on foot, and he can leap unnaturally high. Clif, is not okay with all of this, but doesn't want to force his friend to stay in a hospital. If you ask me, Clif should have manned up and made Derek see a doctor, instead of catering to his feelings. After a confrontation in the street with random guys, Clif posts the video online. He then reads the comments left by viewers, and a small detail is brought to his attention: Derek licks blood off of his hand after a confrontation.
I think anyone watching can figure out where this is going once that little incident happens. And being honest and blunt, the characters are idiots. I understand not wanting to make your trip miserable, but at what point do you break down, put your selfish reasons aside, and get examined by a doctor. Not doing so only results in a worse aftermath, and both of them get what they deserve for beings so soft and stubborn. Rather than insist on Derek seeing help, Clif aids him in killing a pig for the blood. Then Clif whines and complains that he's traumatized from the animals savage death.
Like I said, idiocy. It's really hard to like characters in a movie when they're doing ridiculously dumb things.
And things turn messy real quick because neither Derek nor Clif know how to clean up after themselves, and leave a trail of chaos behind them. There's one part that is surprising and got a reaction out of me, and that's when we see Derek in his semi-animalistic state from starvation. As it turns out, human blood is required to survive, animal blood won't do the trick. Derek remains unconscious for 11 hours. After complications involving Clif offering up his blood, Derek is solo the duration of the film, which leads up to the best scene in the movie; Derek's suicide attempt.
When Derek goes in the sun, we see some pretty well-rounded makeup effects for burns. And once he's on the run from the police, he ends up broke, trying to survive and looking for answers. From there on it's just silly, and I lost any and all connection with this film. I noticed that this motion picture was much better carried on the shoulders of two leads than one. Derek's journey isn't intriguing enough without the input of Clif. It's just a bunch of scrambling around to find a cohesive plot.
The first act was a lot better than the second and third.
The worst scene for me, involves Derek being totally animalistic and savage, yet he's still holding the camcorder, recording all of the violence. It makes no sense, and scenes like this are why the found footage sub-genre is on it's last leg. We're at the point now where we'll need a miracle in found footage for this style of movie making to become everything but the laughing stock of horror. But regardless, stick around through the credits for a last minute surprise.
Compound Fracture (2014)
'Compound Fracture' shows that the past can come back to hurt you
The first thing that drew me to this motion picture was the cast. When I saw that it stared Tyler Mane (Halloween 2007), Derek Mears (Friday the 13th 2009), and Leslie Easterbrook (The Devil's Reject's 2005), I knew that this was one worth a viewing. The opinion of horror fans overall seemed positive, so that was another reason to check it out.
There's a good soundtrack attached to 'Compound Fracture', I found myself enjoying the music. Most movies nowadays play music too loud over a scene, where as in this feature, we have good tunes that fit the mood, and are at an appropriate volume. Then you get Michael (Mane) meeting up with his estranged father, Gary (Muse Watson) which makes for some deeply layered character involvement and development. Michael doesn't get along with his father because he beat his first wife, Michael's mother, and he beats his current wife, Annabelle (Easterbrook). He also didn't help Michael's mother out at all financially while she died of cancer. It's explained that Michael left when he turned of age to go live with his mom, and he was left to take care of her with not a penny's worth of help from Gary, who's very rich.
Annabelle decides she can't take anymore of Gary's abuse and gets Michael's consent to leave. However, up until this point, Michael, Gary, and his step-mother have seen a strange silhouette and their family symbol in various places, including written onto the bathroom mirror. Earlier, we're shown how Gary has a safely secured panic room. But rather than think it'll get put to use, everyone simply thinks that Gary is loony. But as the viewer, you can easily see that although he does have Alzheimer's disease, he's still got sense to him. So you know the panic room will eventually come in handy.
As the movie progresses, we get the full scope of what happened with Michael's sisters death, and how it all went down. We learn that Michael was forced to take drastic actions against his brother William (Mears), and we learn why Michael's nephew Brandon is so emotionally distraught. Although things went down in a non-civil way, what they didn't expect was for that day to come back to haunt them all, and threaten their lives. They're all being malevolently haunted by William now, who wants blood for blood, and intends on picking them off savagely in taking his own revenge. I didn't expect it to happen during daylight though, so that makes this film unique.
Packed with a good quality of gore, special FX, and good acting, I was really into it. So much so that I surprised myself. There's one hell of a decapitation scene involving a van door that is easily my favorite kill of the entire movie. Though it's not very scary or suspenseful, I still found it intriguing because it's a character driven story. And there's a sad but triumphant twist ending that I didn't expect. There's some good action scenes involving fights, and the violence is a nice touch. 'Compound Fracture' isn't what I expected, nor did it end the way I foresaw. Though it's not a perfect movie, it's surprisingly entertaining and has a creative story.
Blood Soaked (2013)
'Blood Soaked' (Screener Review)
If I said it once, I said it a thousand times. Whenever I dislike a movie, I tend to try and see the positive, and elaborate on what I did like about it. That way my reviews aren't rants. However, every once in a while a movie comes along that I just see nothing in. And unfortunately, Blood Soaked falls into that category.
Hitting DVD and VOD June 17th, Blood Soaked starts off in black and white, and we see young Sadie and Katie holding their dying father and crying. Then it cuts to 10 years later, and the picture gains color. We see a college freshman move into her dorm with help from her complaining mother. Soon after, she meets up with her roommate, and they develop a relationship quickly. While off in the New Mexico desert doing annoying cutesy flirting, the new couple is interrupted by the psychotic sisters we saw ten years ago as children. Now, they're racist Nazi's who have a thing for killing people, and bringing them back from the dead via an injection.
How these two low-grade white trash girls got a hold of something as precious and complicated as a zombie serum, I'll never know. There's a lot about this movie that isn't logical, and will give you a headache thinking too hard on it. It soon becomes a low-budget take on House of a 1000 Corpses, only with out vision or direction. The acting is incredibly weak to top it all of, and all the gore scenes are mostly in black and white, making any bloodshed null and void. The camera angles are wonky, and the steady shots aren't steady at all. It's very shaky, and looks amateur.
It's obvious by watching that it's a low-budget production, but what I'm aggravated by most, is the lack of commitment this feature has. It really doesn't appear to me that anyone on screen was really trying. Their dialogue is terrible, and it's delivered without confidence like it's a school play rehearsal. I'm sorry, but I just can't praise a movie, cast, or crew for making a movie that looks like you just had fun filming the whole time. The music is lackadaisical, and doesn't do anything to help the scenes progress but add a goofy flare. It's just over the top randomness that forgets small details, such as having blood on a knife that was just used to stab someone several times.
After murdering people, the sisters feed them to already existing zombies that they made. Some people they bring back to life, others become food for the undead. It all plays out in a brutal fashion, but it's really hard to buy into considering lack of effects, and the fact that all the good parts are in black and white, saving all the color shots for looking at nothingness in the desert. It just doesn't make sense to me, and the creativity behind Blood Soaked is severely lacking. So you've got a lopsided plot, bad acting, lame dialogue, little-to-no gore in color, and just an overall tiring experience. I won't be watching this again. It tries to end in a twisted Re-Animator-esque way, but it's a little too late. The films lack of inspiration and impact are already cemented by that time.
On the positive side, I hope those involved in this movie who plan on really making a career of acting or filmmaking learn from their mistakes, and try a little harder next time. It be cool to see some of the cast in future projects putting forth a good effort. It's just unlikely, because usually those involved in films like this don't really want to act as their job, they just want to be in a movie. In which case that shows, always.
The Addicted (2013)
'The Addicted' (Screener Review)
The first thing that popped into my head when viewing this, was the lack of inspiration. I swear, almost every horror film nowadays takes place in an old rundown asylum of some sort. But, this low-budget feature starts with four brutal deaths that get you in the mood to continue watching, and see what happens. Then, the main cast breaks into the clinic to stay the night, and set up equipment like cameras all around, in hopes of recording something paranormal. All sounds good at first, but nothing of true significance happens for a while. So, we're left in the grasp of the main cast. All of whom aren't very good actors and actresses.
So, we're reduced to watching a group of young adults drinking and smoking and having fun, all the while paralyzing the film from moving forward in a productive fashion. There's too much camera time on things of minor importance, and we dance around eventfulness for a long time. Then, we see a ghost on camera while the group of friends are partying and acting like fools and not paying attention. The catch is, the ghost isn't scary at all, and the makeup is flawed. At this point, I knew I was in for a long ride that I wasn't going to enjoy very much.
One of the things that irks me, and I honestly don't know if it is due to budget or just bad writing, but some of the friends partying in the clinic use duct tape to hold cameras in corners. That is extremely unlikely to really happen, and just looks bad on film. It begs the question of whether the or not the amateurs are those on screen, or those behind the camera.
Then, we see the guy on the cover of this flick, wearing the creepy black clown mask. And he starts off by using a nail gun to one of the people staying overnight in the creepy building. Then, he uses heroin to inject his victims with. All the while, he speaks and sounds just like Tobin Bell as Jigsaw from Saw. This ruined the effect of the villain for me. Again with lack of inspiration.
The group of friends basically start getting dragged off one at a time, and there's no suspense or even as much as cheap thrills or scares. There's some decent brutality though with people being stabbed in the face and eyes with needles, and being injected with heroin in the eyes. Really, what it boils down to is that the antagonists in The Addicted are ruthless, but the protagonists are idiots doing everything they shouldn't to try and survive this type of situation. And, soon enough it's just down to the lead character Nicole (Jenny Gayner), to fight and try to escape the hospital alive.
There's plot twists midway through, and at the ending. Both of which are meant to jar you, but instead have no impact due to lack of environmental scares and intensity. When it's all said and done, The Addicted is a one time watch. It's not the worst film you'll ever see, but it's also not one you'll need to view more than once. There's a million other movies like it, and if you've seen one, you've seen 'em all. This does have a few touches of originality to it, but not enough to make it a stand-out effort.
Killer Legends (2014)
'Killer Legends' (Screener Review)
This was a screener that I was really looking forward to. If there's something I love, it's a good horror-based documentary. I love learning, and there's nothing better to learn about then anything horror. In this case, Killer Legends, takes you all over the place, from Texas to Missouri, to Chicago investigating and finding the truth behind some of the cruelest urban legends. I've seen a lot of narratives before, but never one that dug to find the ugly truth that inspired some of the most chilling stories ever told. So this was a treat, and it's incredibly well made.
Joshua Zeman (Cropsey 2009) and Rachel Mills (American Pickers 2012) take you on a journey that makes you face the harsh reality that real life is far worse than any scary story made up. Also, that any tall tale is always based on some truth, which is always more horrifying. When watching, I couldn't help but reflect how screwed up we are as a species to do the things we do. Killer Legends shows you that you don't have to be scared of the monster in your closet, or the creepy clown doll under your bed, because human beings and what they're capable of, trump all else.
We learn about The Hookman, and the danger of sex amongst teens. In 1946, a killer known as The Phantom murders four couples on Lover's Lane, claiming five victims. He was never caught, and the incidents have been dubbed the Moonlight Murders. These killings are what inspired the motion picture, The Town that Dreaded Sundown, because The Phantom always wore a mask.
Then we get schooled about the Candyman urban legend, where a man gives poison to children in Halloween candy. The sickening truth behind this involves a father poisoning his son's pixie stick, in order to claim the child's insurance policy. Though some still believe him to be innocent, he was given the death penalty via lethal injection.
The Baby-Sitter is one of the most disturbing urban legends by far, as this documentary will teach you that in Columbia Missouri 1950, Jannet Christman was strangled to death with an iron cord. We learn there was a similar strangulation in 1946, only two blocks over from where Chistman would be killed just four years later. Both are said to have probably known the antagonist, because there aren't signs that there was a struggle.
The clowns are possibly the most unsettling of all the stories told. We delve into the psyche of why clowns are so creepy, and how it's the perversion of innocence. I didn't even know there was a name for those afraid of clowns, but now I do. It's called coulrophobia. We learn about random kidnappings and sightings all involving men dressed as clowns, to lore children in. And of course, John Wayne Gacy, and his 29 victims are mentioned.
There's no point in me ruining all the specific details, so I'll stop there. But, I sincerely liked this feature. The time and effort that went into making it is undeniable. Joshua and Rachel did their homework in this eye-opening docudrama. If you like finding the grit and dirt behind scary stories, there's no reason not to watch it. It's very knowledgeable and informative, as well as unsettling.
Killer Legends hits DVD July 1st, so check it out. And beware of the truth.
Deliver Us from Evil (2014)
'Deliver Us From Evil' is contagiously scary
Ralph Sarchie (Eric Bana) is a New York police officer who is estranged from his wife and daughter due to working long laborious hours cleaning scum off of the streets. His partner, Butler (Joel McHale), is rough and rugged and full of confidence, and a great sense of humor. Together they bring criminals in, but they do it based off of what Sarchie's "radar" is telling him. Officer Sarchie has a gift where he's borderline psychic, he simply gets a gut feeling, and looks for civilian call-ins that suit whatever he's feeling.
In this case, following Sarchie's gut, both he and Butler go on a domestic case involving a man who beat his wife. His wife merely says "he just went crazy", as if that's an excuse for him hitting her. All around the house the officers notice scratching along the floors and elsewhere. After obtaining him, things just get worse.
Soon after, they get a call saying they're needed for assistance at a zoo. A woman named Jane (Olivia Horton) randomly throws her child into the moat at the zoo, and after doing so, the lights went out, leaving the police to search the grounds for her in the dark. When Sarchie and Butler arrive on scene, they find her singing "Break on Through to the Other Side" by The Doors while digging at nothing on the ground. Immediately Sarchie sees that her fingernails are busted up and ragged from scratching, the same as the man taken into custody for abusing his wife just prior to this call. After taking her to the station, Sarchie meets Mendoza (Édgar Ramírez) a priest who is an ex drug addict, chain smoker and a drinker. He tells Sarchie that he believes Jane's battle is spiritual and that he specializes in exorcisms.
I really like the chemistry between Sarchie and Mendoza, because they're opposites, so they attract. Sarchie sees only the negative things, like what's in front of him. Mendoza, focuses on the positive and thinks on a different level. We get back story from them both, and after finding out that Sarchie once had faith in God, it's easy for him to relate to Mendoza instantly. They become a team, as they try and track down a mysterious painter Sarchie encountered in the zoo, who fled the scene. Sarchie knows the painter is somehow involved in Jane's attempted murder of her child.
After doing some digging, he finds out that the painter's name is Santino, and that he was in the US Army with some other key members in the film. The question then becomes how is Santino a part of the craziness going on, and how to track him down and find him? Sarchie and Mendoza grow close, and aid one another as Sarchie comes to understand that it is in fact possession going around. The hunt for the truth only gets darker, and the fact that Sarchie has his "radar" open, he and his family are open to demonic attacks. Not long after getting deeply involved in the investigation, Sarchie's daughter Christina (Lulu Wilson) is toyed with (no pun intended) as she begins to hear scratching around and under her bed, and her Jack in the box as well as her stuffed Owl have a tendency to move.
There hasn't been a movie of this caliber since Fallen back in 1998. It's almost a combination of that and Se7en, both of which are great films to resemble. I'd consider Deliver us from Evil to be more thriller than horror due to the detective nature of it, but there's a handful of undeniably scary scenes. And although I hate jump scares, if there's anyone that can pull them off to the proper effect, it's director Scott Derrickson.
I jumped a few times, and I never saw them coming. The suspense is timed beautifully with the story and what's relevant. There aren't any scares that are cheap and unrelated to the story, like a mop falling during an intense scene. It's a very intelligent film handled by a director who loves horror himself. There's not much for me to criticize about this film, just like Derrickson's previous efforts. It's well acted, has good characters, rich storytelling, it's intense, not predictable, suspenseful and scary.
In my book, having all of those variables makes for a good film. It didn't end the way I was expecting it to, and it ended sooner than I had anticipated, but you'll hear no complaints from me. Very well done film, and much worth the hype and wait.
Adjust Your Tracking: The Untold Story of the VHS Collector (2013)
'Adjust Your Tracking' (Screener Review)
I've always had a thing for VHS tapes. It's the nostalgic feeling you get matched only by the excitement that comes along with it. I still own a good pile of VHS tapes, but after watching this documentary, I'm pretty sure my collection will be expanding. Just recently, within the last two or three months, I actually finished a special project I was working on, where I made shelving for my VHS' out of old used VHS tapes that I bought at the local Farmer's Market. So now, all I need to work on is filling the shelving unit out with more tapes. Although they aren't very rare, I'm always on the lookout for Night of the Demons and Trick or Treat. Neither of which I've found yet, but that's the thrill of the hunt for ya.
The first thing this documentary brings up, is something that most people forgot about, and that's the prices of VCR's back in the day. What's considered flea market bargains now used to cost the upwards of eight hundred bucks back in it's premiere time. And VHS were expensive too, running upwards of forty bucks a piece. People, including myself, tend to forget about all of these small details, because over the years technology has advanced so much with DVDs and Blu-Rays pushing VHS off of store shelves. But, I remember the pricing being outrageous, but that didn't stop me nor my family growing up from having a pretty sweet collection of movies.
It makes you wonder how with all the money being spent on on Blu-Ray players and all these fancy Hi-Def TVs, what's it all gonna be worth in the end when the new standard technology comes around? Hell, I've heard recently that in a few years we won't even be getting home video any more, because everything will be on cable or streaming. Both of which are making more money than DVD and Blu-Ray sales, so it makes sense. But to see that one day soon having a movie collection is going to be considered an out-of-date hobby is saddening.
This documentary also touches up on how Blockbuster ruined the VHS craze by being such a large business, and putting smaller video stores that actually had personality out of business. It was just impossible to keep up with Blockbuster because it was such a monopoly. So all of the places that made video shopping fun became extinct. What a shame. Then of course, the DVD format is brought up, and why VHS is still superior in a few ways. Such as, many horror films from the VHS era have been lost and may be never found again.
There's still a large percentage of flicks that have never been transferred to DVD, so that makes VHS collecting actually logical in a way. Without people buying these now-rare films on VHS, a lot of cinema history would be gone forever. Most of the stuff worth buying or collecting amongst horror fans, is the real gory stuff and exploitation features. There's one VHS that runs the upwards of six hundred dollars due to it's rareness.
Then there's a segment on the cover art/packaging, and that to me, was a part that I could relate to. The awesome covers VHS used to have would determine whether or not you bought it. They say 'don't judge a book by its cover', well, anyone who was alive during the VHS era knows that we've all judged motion pictures by their cover. Finding awesome artwork on packaging was part of the thrill of shopping for movies back in the day. And, still is today.
There are some collectors featured on Adjust Your Tracking who have 20,000 VHS tapes or more. Some even have more than one room in their house dedicated to their collection. Another guy has so many tapes that he started his own video store in his basement.
And the topic of picture quality is brought up, which I'm glad about. Because, it's brought into light how although VHS aren't as clear of a visual as movies are today, they're still preferred to DVD and Blu-Ray because of the fact that the new home video standard of quality actually shows you things you didn't notice before. Bad/cheap makeup and effects, and even filming sets are made to look obvious nowadays, when back then, on VHS, everything was darker, so you didn't see as much. And it makes you think whether or not you'd like the movies then that now are made to look very low-budget and cheesy. So, this new crystal clear picture quality movement going on today has actually made older films look bad, and it's disheartening.
I think that my favorite part of this in-depth documentary is the segment dedicated to collectors' awkward experiences in finding VHS tapes. It's laugh-out-loud funny. They talk about how usually VHS shopping takes them to some weird places with strange and/or rude people, and it's really entertaining. A few people bring up how they've bought movies from musty old places that have smelled awful, and you can't help but laugh.
In the end, Adjust Your Tracking is a must watch for those out there like me, who consider themselves movie buffs. Is collecting VHS an old and outdated hobby? Yeah. But, the people who do it own and have seen movies that you've never even heard of, so it's more than justified. Watching this documentary really got me wanting to go find a video store and stock up. This is one hell of a fun viewing, and I'm glad I watched it.
Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
'Edge of Tomorrow' resets the endgame
Tom Cruise (Mission: Impossible) is an unlikely hero in this sci-fi action thriller. Honestly, I tend to avoid watching Cruise's films for the most part, but this and the Mission:Impossible movies are exceptions. Even though I'm not a fan of Cruise, I can't deny he's in some good features. Edge of Tomorrow picks up informing us of a war that's been waging for five years now against an alien race called Mimics. And we see the human's fighting gear, which like the world, is upgraded and very futuristic, unlike anything you'll see soldiers wearing right now. The gear looks like a combination of the uniforms worn by the Marines in Aliens (1986), with some Elysium (2013), and Iron Man (2008) mixed in.
Cage (Cruise) is a spokesperson for United Defense Forces (UDF), who developed the exoskeleton armor for soldiers now used in the interspecies war. Cage is not trained in combat, nor does he even like the sight of blood. But odds are against him as he's strong-armed into battle. Master Sergeant Farrell (Bill Paxton) insists on not cutting Cage any breaks, as do the rest of the soldiers he's fighting with. Unlike in present time, there is no 'leave no man behind' motto. Instead it's every man for himself, as your own team will steal your weaponry and throw you to the wolves.
After dying several times and returning to life, Cage not only improves his combat skills (and learns how to turn the safety off), but he searches for answers as to how and why this is happening to him. He tries to reason with his fellow warmongers, and explain to them that their landing on the island is an expected attack by the alien race, and he along with all of them gets wiped out. He lives it over and over. But to no avail, because not only does no one believe him, they even resort to duct taping his mouth shut so he'll stop talking. Leaving Cage with no other option, he becomes an even better fighter.
Then, Cage finds Rita (Emily Blunt) who tells him to meet her when he wakes up after dying. When he does, she explains that she used to have his ability to "reset" and come back to life, but doesn't anymore. She was injured, and while in the hospital, had a blood transfusion, causing her to lose her ability. We come to learn that Cage being drenched in the blood of an "Alpha" (a particularly nasty type of Mimic) is what gave him his ability to repeat time. Time looping is a defense skill the "Alphas" have in order to predict their enemies movements in war, allowing them to be one step ahead. Cage can now use their knowledge and technology against them.
Rita explains how dire it is that he hold on to his skill because it allows the humans to form a game plan against the alien race. Cage is also warned that if he gets injured, he should be sure to just die, so he can "reset". Getting injured may resort in him being hospitalized and losing his capacity to "reset".
The plans description involves Cage dying over and over again, until every detail is roughed out, and they can win the battle with as much ease as possible. It's just like a video game, where you play the same level over and over until you memorize every little detail and eventually beat the level with flying colors. Cage's mission is to find the "Omega", a singular consciousness that all of the Mimics are tied to, along with Rita. It has the ability to control time, and then destroy it. But of course nothing goes as smoothly as planned. Things get a bit hairy as they have to complete their battle plan with successful results, and only have one more chance to do so.
Aside from the eye candy that Emily Blunt provides, she and Cruise carry this motion picture with ease, and appear very comfortable with each other on screen, allowing good character chemistry and flow. I don't have a complaint about anyone's performance, actually. But, I didn't think Cruise would be as likable as he is, you can totally get behind him. And there's some wicked actions scenes, and the special FX are very well crafted and beautiful to look at.
If I had to sum this flick up, I'd say that it took the better parts of Terminator Salvation (2009) and Transformers (2007), and made them more explosive, idealistic, and entertaining. The ending is good, and although the film as a whole has a dark plot, there's some good humor that's intentional, but not over the top to cause any cheesiness. It's funny because, I didn't even want to watch this at first. It took several times of seeing the trailer before I was convinced. And I was wrong, because in the end, Edge of Tomorrow is a winner.
X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
'X-Men: Days of Future Past' keeps hope alive for mutants and fans alike
The 'X-Men' films were always second to me, right after The Dark Knight trilogy. In fact, I really thought that 'X-Men: First Class' was better than 'The Avengers'. While I'm not a fan of the Wolverine solo movies, I've liked all of the other 'X-Men' films, even the third one. It's kinda sorta a tie for me between 'First Class' and 'X2' as the best installments, but there for a while, the series hit a rocky road for fans who had plenty to complain about. With the unsteadiness of a lot of people not liking the third movie, and then to be followed by an even less liked solo Wolverine movie, moviegoers and comic fans alike began to believe that the series had peaked. Then "First Class" landed, and it changed things up. It rebooted the franchise in a way, by introducing a new cast of old characters, and telling the origins of Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier.
With overwhelmingly positive reception, everyone began to see a twinkle in the eye of a thought to be exhausted consecution, and hope peaked it's head. Then came 'The Wolverine', and again, made the ground shaky for the series. It's not as terrible as it's predecessor, but it has many, many flaws. Then news came that Bryan Singer , director of the first two movies, was stepping back behind the director's chair for 'Days of Future Past'. And Matthew Vaughn, the director of "First Class", came on as a writer, joining up with Singer. So basically you get the best of both worlds making one movie, and it's based off of probably the best storyline in the comic series.
Right after the standard opening narration by Professor X (Patrick Stewart) and opening credits, the action starts immediately. With probably the most exciting opening scene I've seen all year, you see several X-Men, including Ice Man (Shawn Ashmore) fighting their biggest foes yet; Sentinels. The Sentinels are non-metal machines made up of Mystique's (Jennifer Lawrence) DNA, allowing them to adapt and use mutant's powers against them. The fight doesn't go too well for the mutants, needless to say. Using Kitty Pryde's (Ellen Page) ability, she sends Logan/Wolverine's (Hugh Jackman) current consciousness into his younger self from the 1970's. So he has all his current knowledge of what the future has in store, only he's in the past, and it's his job to find a young Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender), and tell them what the future holds, in hopes that they'll put their differences aside.
Bolivar Trask (Peter Dinklage) makes Sentinels, machines who's sole purpose is to flush out and exterminate mutants. With politicians skeptical, it isn't until a young Mystique assassinates him that the Sentinel's program is given the go-ahead. Wolverine has to bring Erik and Charles together in order to unite and find Mystique before she can murder Trask, and cause a future of ruin. Absolutely brilliant storytelling, and well-acted, as always. And like usual, regardless of how serious and dark the impending threat is, there's some good humor and one-liners that keep a fine balance, so it doesn't get too gloomy. There's a wide array of mutants/characters, and the music is really nice.
The action scenes are unique and mesmerizing, never failing to entertain with both visuals and violence. The last 10-15 minutes are gripping, and almost pulls at your heart. It concludes satisfyingly, and leaves you with a cliffhanger. Wait through the never-ending credits, and you'll see a glimpse of the next movie's villain, Apocalypse, who's goal is to conquer the world. He looks slender, and not how I'd picture him, but I'm sure it's going to work out just fine.
Malignant (2013)
'Malignant' takes control of you
After Allex (Gary Cairns) loses his wife tragically, he turns to the bottle and makes a bad habit of it. Being an alcoholic is affecting every aspect of his life, including getting him on his boss' bad side. It seems like a lot of people around Allex have noticed his addiction, yet no one has stepped in to help. That is until The Man (Brad Dourif), tries to help Allex in unconventional ways, that only makes things worse for wear.
After being approached by The Man, Allex wakes up to a nasty gash on his left pectoral muscle that's both sore, and already stitched up. The Man tells him that it's treatment, and that he better not drink again. Defying what he's told by the mysterious man, Allex drinks, and wakes up to a video on his computer of himself murdering someone. The Man calls him, and warns him that if he drinks again, someone else will be killed. At first he doesn't know if it's real or not, and relies on the opinion of his friend's opinion who tells him that it's fake.
So, Allex drinks some more, and wakes up to another video. This time it's a woman he's killed, and the bloody crowbar used in the video is in his tub, covered in blood. Though he doesn't know how he's killing these people, he knows he doesn't want to do it again, so he pours out all of his liquor. By this point, it's been established that somehow he's being controlled and watched. And after being fired for not coming into work, his next victim is his boss. While he still has no memory, or answers as to why he committed the murder, he runs away and camps out in the desert, and even there, he still kills someone.
While I don't have any major complaints about the movie, I'd be lying if I said that Gary Cairns performance isn't lackluster at parts. I feel there was room for more vast emotional acting, that if strong enough could have really pulled you into some scenes that are a letdown as is. Shortly after his victim in the desert, Allex cuts open his pectoral muscle and removes a disc, the little piece of high-tech machinery that was allowing him to be controlled to kill people by The Man.
We come to find out that he's The Man's second experiment attempt at this, and is given a lobotomy through his eye socket, after a bit of shock treatment. There's some good makeup effects to be shown, especially towards the end. We also get some understanding of The Man, and learn of his backstory, which is tragic. There's a sudden turn of events as Allex gets the upper hand on The Man, and there's a plot twist of deception involving where The Man gets his high-grade technology apparel.
In the end, 'Malignant' fails to be scary or very suspenseful, but it still pulls you in, if only to find out answers as to what's going on with Allex being controlled and killing people. Definitely a unique piece of cinema, but it doesn't stand out. If Dourif's name wasn't attached, I think this one might have slipped by people's radar. But I did like it, I just wasn't blown away.
Blood Widow (2014)
'Blood Widow' (Screener Review)
I'm at the point now (like most movie-freaks) where I can tell within 10-15 minutes into viewing a feature, rather it'll be any good or not. And I knew that I was going to be sitting through this one through the duration. Even though some of the acting from the supporting cast is really bad, it wasn't enough to stray me away from the story.
'Blood Widow' starts off with a quick off-screen kill that sets the tone nicely. Then, we meet new homeowners, Laurie and Hugh. While happy to be moving, her mood suddenly is turned upside down when Laurie finds out that Hugh invited friends over to their new home, and intends on throwing a party. And of course, Hugh's friends have to be total jackasses, and decide to go to the boarded up boarding school next door, just for kicks. At this point in the movie, I knew that I was going to like it. I was surprised myself, by how much I was into it.
Upon breaking into the boarding school, aside from making fools of themselves, Hugh's mischievous friends find themselves in the wrath of the Blood Widow, who has a very troubled origin. I personally like the way the Blood Widow looks. Although it's a bit stylized, and perhaps it ruins the realness of everything, her outfit is pretty sweet, and the mask is nothing less than creepy. It's a very iconic look. It's feminine with a touch of serious danger. And once she gets a hold of Hugh, Laurie, and their buddies, she goes a major killing spree full of blood, brutality, and creativity.
Someone gets gutted in a violent and downright gnarly fashion, and there's even a double beheading! Again, some of these kills get away with murder (no pun intended) because, although they're not very realistic all the time, they're enjoyable and entertaining as hell. The Blood Widow is not shy on gore either, there's plenty to go around. And there's an overall gritty feel and setting in the movie, that keeps everything seem so much more intense.
Things get crazy towards the end, when the Blood Widow captures Laurie and ties her up. We see some serious sadomasochism, and some surprising unexpected deaths. The movie ends very dreary and dark. And bloody. 'Blood Widow' hits shelves this Tuesday, June 3rd. Don't miss it, especially if you're prone to like your horror a bit dark and gruesome.
Maleficent (2014)
'Maleficent' doesn't put you to sleep
I generally tend to stay away from live action films by Disney. Such films as "Enchanted" (2007), and the other happy-go-lucky princess stories do nothing for me. If I'm going to watch a flick of this content and material, I think it goes over easier as an animated cartoon. Real people in these stories make the cheesiness of it all really hard to swallow. But when I first caught wind of a film based on Maleficent from the 1959 animated motion picture "Sleeping Beauty", my eagerness shifted up and down. Upon hearing the news, I was worried as to how it would turn out.
Then, I saw pictures of how Angelina Jolie looks in the role, and I wasn't so skeptical anymore as much as curious. And after opening last weekend to generally negative reviews, my hopes circled the drain. Despite what others said, I still felt the need to give this one a watch. I mean, I've waited this long to see it, just to turn around and not watch it because of what other people said? No way. And I'm glad that I thought for myself, because regardless of any negative reviews I've heard, I actually liked "Maleficent" more than I expected to.
And I'm not being biased because of my crush on Angelina. In fact, while I think she's undeniably attractive, I haven't really liked her since "Wanted" (2008). But her portrayal as dark and brooding Maleficent is rather nicely played. This take on the story kinda slips through the back door, and retells you the story you already know, only in a different way and with more twists. While it's not overly complex or intricate, you've gotta remember that it's only a PG movie, and is meant to attract children over adults. In this version, we find Maleficent as much of a villain as a hero.
Stefan (Sharlto Copley) is as sympathetic as he is cowardly. He's a bureaucrat who wants to gain kingship, but has to betray Maleficent by cutting off her wings. The whole first part of the movie shows you Maleficent as a child, growing up over the years as a very powerful and joyous fairy. Once betrayed and de-winged by Stefan, she becomes fueled by rage and revenge, turning her positive aura into one of darkness and sorrow. Years after Stefan becomes king, he has a newborn baby daughter named Aurora, and in midst of celebrating her birth, Maleficent crashes the party and curses Aurora so that on her sixteenth birthday she'll be put into a deep sleep that only true loves kiss can cure. However, Maleficent doesn't believe in true love, so she's essentially damning Aurora for life.
Stefan, in worry for his daughter's life, sends her away with three pixies until her 16th birthday. Only thing is, these pixies have never looked after a human life before. So they're terrible parental figures, and almost starve Aurora to death because they don't know how to feed her. So Maleficent steps in and kinda sorta raises her behind the three pixies backs. In doing so, we see the good side of Maleficent that shows us she's not all bad, she's just hurting emotionally from the trauma done unto her. Once Maleficent grows close to an older Aurora (Elle Fanning), she decides she made a mistake in cursing her.
When Maleficent realizes she can't take back the curse put on Aurora, it becomes a battle against the clock as Aurora's about to turn 16, and the curse will be fulfilled. So the question is, can she be saved, or does true love really not exist? Let me put it to you this way without giving away any spoilers: it's a Disney movie. So you tell me what you think the answer to that question is...
In the end, "Maleficent" is a fun origin story. And it's one that I can see myself watching a few more times. When I have kids, I'm sure I'll have them watch it too. Even though it can be scary at times, for children especially. I'm not saying it doesn't have its flaws, and I'm not saying it's perfect by any means. But I am saying that it's fun, entertaining, and worth at least one watch.
Locke (2013)
'Locke' takes you on a drive you'll never forget
If there's one thing that we can trust, it's that Tom Hardy carries motion pictures on his shoulders with incredible ease. After his masterful performance in Bronson, Hardy has been on a tear of good movies, all with memorable performances including Inception,The Dark Knight Rises, and now Locke.
In the same fashion as 2002's Phone Booth, the whole film is set in one location and focuses on one man and the situation he's in, how he's reacting, and how he gets out of it. It starts off slow and strong as we follow Ivan (Hardy) as he's in his car driving for what seems to be an eternity. You can instantly see that he's stressed out and that all isn't well.
As it progresses, we see Ivan make a ton of phone calls, all of which are about family and his work as a construction manager. We find out that although there's a career making (or breaking) deal going on at his work that he is much needed for, he's leaving it in the hands of less capable people, because he's on his way to witness the birth of his son. Ivan calls his wife, Katrina (Ruth Wilson) and explains to her that he won't be home for a while because of his son's birth. He goes on to explain that he had an affair with a co-worker named Bethan (Olivia Colman) several months ago. He tells Katrina that he was going to tell her about it once he got the courage, but he hadn't expected Bethan to go into premature labor.
With calls from Bethan and nurses at the hospital coming in, hateful calls from his workplace, and dreaded conversation with his now upset and betrayed wife, we watch as Locke tries to fit all the pieces into play and make everything work out, despite how overwhelmed he is. There's a bit of a breakdown scene by Hardy earlier on, but he's surprisingly relaxed the rest of the film, even though he's under incredible pressure. What his performance needed was a major breakdown scene. If there were some crying and real anger and aggression, this would have been his best performance.
With nothing going his way, and things seemingly getting worse at work and home, it appears as though the birth of his new son is the best news in his life. Although his wife tells him never to come home again, the light at the end of the tunnel is the news that his son was born safely. After finding out that Ivan was abandoned by his real father as a child, we see why it's so important for Ivan to take a part of his child's life. He didn't meet his real father until his early twenties, and doesn't want the same life for his newborn.
In the end, although it was an affair the child is born from, to me, the purpose of the story was to show how important human life is and that no matter what the circumstances of a birth are, children and life are a blessing and better than any bad news that can come at you. It's a touching and gripping story that's beautifully played out and acted. It's only about an hour and 25 minutes, so it's an easy watch. When I viewed it, you could hear a pin drop due to how compelled I was. It's very intense, and character-based.
Locke is a true gem of modern cinema. It's a hell of a lot better than the aforementioned Phone Booth, and it's an immediate Blu-ray purchase for me. Hardy keeps your eyes glued to the screen, and the story keeps you on your toes. It's an all-around very well done achievement. I loved it!
The Perfect House (2013)
'The Perfect House' (Screener Review)
Coming to DVD July 22nd, The Perfect House starts with Mike (William A. Robertson) and Marisol (Andrea Vahl) being shown around a really nice and big house house by a seductive real estate agent. It's obviously too good to be true, and they're being lied to and schemed into possibly buying it. There's no mention of the house's past, but the movie is constructed with long, detailed flashbacks of the previous owners and the owners before them, who were all driven mad by the so-called "dream home".
The first flashback is called "The Storm", and it's about a family of four hiding out in the basement in hopes of surviving a terrible storm raging outside. While together in a closed space, we see how nasty the matriarch of the family is, always saying rude and hurtful things. The father however, is the calm one who is supportive of the kids, and they all acknowledge that something is wrong with their mom. Of course, we as the viewers know that she's possessed, and that explains the weird behavior. And, lets just say things get out of hand and go in a direction that I didn't see coming, and the result is a rather large amount of blood spilled.
Then, after a few moments of seeing Mike and Marisol's walk-through, we get another flash from the past. In "Chic-Ken" we watch John Doesy (Jonathan Tiersten), as he cages humans up in the basement and murders/mutilates them. His recent capture is a young man who is way too whiny and complains too much. So much in fact that I actually was hoping for his on screen death (laugh). In the cage beside him is a young woman who has been caged up for the better part of five years, and she hates and envies anyone John kills who isn't her because she'd rather be dead than live like an animal in the cage any longer. Like the previous story, when things come to a conclusion, it's very bloody. This is definitely the most graphic of the three stories told, as we see things like eyelids being cut off.
"Dinner Guest" is a wraparound story. The flashback scene starts the movie off, before we see Mike and Marisol touring the house, but it doesn't conclude until the final act. We see a psychopath take a family apart, the mother (Felissa Rose) is tied up as she's forced to witness terrible things, like her children being murdered. This also ends in a very gory fashion, and as the film comes to an end, we're left with knowing what Mike and Marisol have to look forward to by buying the house.
There's not a lot of character development, so not getting to know the characters intimately stings a bit, but this is a feature that's more focused on the macabre aspects, so it's semi-excusable. The acting suffers at times throughout from all stories including Mike and Marisol's walk-through. But, Sleepaway Camp star, Felissa Rose puts on her best performance to date. And the makeup FX are decent, but far from great. You can see it's clearly a low-budget flick, but as a whole, it works. There's always room for improvement, and The Perfect House is no exception, but it's an entertaining movie.
Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)
'Only Lovers Left Alive' is a true-blooded vampire film
Honestly, I'm about sick to death of vampire films and all the baggage they bring. Mainly because, no one in this day and age seems to know what vampires are anymore, and make them your boyfriend instead of the monster scratching at your bedroom window. So, I can't say that I went in with high hopes to see Only Lovers Left Alive, simply off of principle. And, I'll be the first person to admit that I was wrong in judging it. Nowadays, big moviegoers like myself, are preconditioned at this point to just deal with whatever crappy vampire movie is out there at the time. There's some like me, who still keep their eyes open waiting to be surprised.
The cast drew me into this one more than anything else. I'm a fan of Tom Hiddleston (Thor) and of Anton Yelchin (Odd Thomas) as actors, and I was interested to see what they brought to the table. Especially since I've heard such glowing reviews for it. What you have to understand going into Only Lovers Left Alive is, this is a very realistic and romantic story. When I say "romantic" I mean it in the Gothic way, like how some say that death is sexual or sensual.
These aren't your sparkling vampires, but they're also not your transforming vampires either. They are tired and look totally normal, but they do sprout fangs and like drinking blood. Adam (Hiddleston) is very depressed and fatigued of life. He refers to humans as "zombies" and is sick of how the human race as perverted and destroyed the world. He even has a wooden bullet made, with intentions of shooting himself and committing suicide. When he's not moping about, he's playing and recording music.
His lover Eve (Swinton) is the positive charge to his negative battery. She's always looking up to the bright side of things and trying to get Adam to relax and enjoy his miserable life. While he's never cheery, Adam finds comfort and resolve in the arms of his woman. He and she were estranged for a bit, but come back together. Doing so literally saves Adam's life because, he never shoots himself due to her company.
It starts off with a slow and steady pace, and never really picks up. It's not an over-the-top picture with lots of Michael Bay explosions and visuals. It's a character driven story about what it's like in today's society to be a vampire hiding in plain sight. The realism is the golden ticket here, they go into detail about not drinking blood like in the old days due to all of the different kinds of diseases going around today. Mentions of details like this are what make this such a well- rounded feature. Add to that the acting is great, and the characters are totally likable.
Ian (Yelchin) is Adam's friend and associate who, for money, brings Adam various things that are requested. Like a wooden bullet. Ian is about the only human being Adam can stand, and you can tell that while always appearing reserved, Adam enjoys Ian's comradery. After introducing Ian and Eve, all seems well until Eve's younger sister, Ava (Wasikowska) shows up and not only drinks what's left of their precious food (blood) supply, but she drinks/kills Ian. Sending her off into the street in the middle of the night, Adam and Eve are yet again all alone.
After disposing of Ian's body, the couple seek out Marlowe (John Hurt). Marlowe is a vampire who was keeping Eve in supply of good quality blood before she left to be with Adam again. Unfortunately, this get-together doesn't end well as they discover that Marlowe has drank a bad batch of blood and is dying. After his passing, the couple go off into the night, again defeated and disappointed with life.
They're hungry and unable to afford more quality blood like what Ava finished. So, they realize they have to go about drinking blood the good old fashioned way, and target a romantic couple being cute with one another. The look on Adam and Eve's faces lets you know that feeding is about all that they can do to stay positive and enjoy their eternal lives.
Aside from being a bit too slow at times, I've seriously got no complaints for this one. It's got a good story, quality acting, it's sexy, etc. I'm a fan, for sure. The Blu-ray will be hitting shelves August 19th, and if you want to see a movie that'll take you back to when vampire movies were good, you'll check this one out. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes movies about blood suckers, or who just enjoys good motion pictures in general.
The Upper Footage (UPPER) (2013)
'The Upper Footage' (Screener Review)
First of all, I have to mention that I cannot believe that I saw someone online say that this is "One of the greatest movies I've ever seen". I don't know, maybe some people like myself just have higher standards in terms of what constitutes as a great movie. That quote is even more ludicrous than the actual movie.
It starts with a lot of summed up footage, showing news reels and clips, interviews, and radio show hosts talking about this mysterious girl doing copious amounts of cocaine on these YouTube clips that leaked online a few years ago. Some rumors even started flying around that it was celebrities. Then there's the name drop of Quentin Tarantino, and his involvement in buying the rights to the video clips, with intent on making a motion picture about them after the girl in the videos, Jackie Spearo, died in a tragic way. Tarantino eventually backed out of using the YouTube videos to make the movie. I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but this whole movie and the controversy behind it is completely a marketing campaign only. There's no truth to it, it's a veil pulled over the viewers eyes to build a fake sense of dread.
If you have to trick audiences into liking your movie, that's a false achievement in my book. The feature film will tell you that the videos were uploaded to YouTube as a bribe, and blackmail. When actually, the truth is, the uploads were to cause confusion and start rumors in social media. Having several female celebrities falsely accused of being the faceless woman in the clips, it added mystery and had people wanting answers. The stir it all caused in the media was used to build hype behind The Upper Footage, and make it seem authentic. While it is undoubtedly a rude and aggressive marketing strategy, it worked because moviegoers and people who follow social media outlets actually think it's a true life incident.
It's the same exact type of hype that happened when The Blair Witch Project came out, and everyone really thought the actors and actress involved were really dead. What baffles me, is regardless of how real or unreal it is, people really believed they were watching a movie about a dead girl and her last night alive. There's no way this would be released to the public as a motion picture if this were in fact a true event. Some people just aren't as naive as others may think, and can see through a bad lie when they see and/or hear it. This movie ruined people's lives, really?
Although I knew the falsity behind the making of The Upper Footage, and despite the fact that it's yet another found footage film, I still gave it a shot. To be quite frank, I was bored for about 75 minutes of the 87 minute run time. It's just a group of rich, racist snobs partying in a limo and and being about as crude and impolite as imaginable. After 25 minutes of nonsense dialogue and the search for a plot, Jackie enters the movie via her date, and her face is pixelated the entire film. The party goes from the limo, to a high-scale apartment, and from there, we get a lot of loud talking/shouting, people acting as annoying as possible, and a ton of drug use. It's the kind of movie where without pausing it, you can get up and get a bite to eat and a drink, pet your cat, check your mail, check your email, and use the bathroom without missing anything of mere close importance.
After throwing up profusely, Jackie kicks the bucket. And what do the guys at this party do? They decide to drive her body around for a good thirty minutes (at least it feels as though it were a half hour), all the while recording everything including too much arguing, and whining, and moaning. I gave this flick a fair chance, but any and all entertainment value is lost on me because, I was not amused. I wouldn't think that someone's tragic death and the need to cover the incident up should be so loud ad boring.
Then, we get to watch the lead male characters dig a hole for eternity. Most of which is in silence, giving you plenty of time to send a text or check your email again.
I'd rather attend a tax seminar than watch this ever again. I don't believe in the hype behind it, and it fails to entertain on almost every level. That is of course, unless your idea of a good movie entails nothingness for 75 minutes, and maybe 10 minutes of watchable footage.
All Cheerleaders Die (2013)
'All Cheerleaders Die' but they come back hungry
Finally, I've dug my way out of screeners for filmmakers and studios, and I'm able to review this one. I've been a fan of director Lucky McKee since his 2nd film, May. Most notably, he's the man behind The Woman, which came out in 2011 and made a name both for itself and him due to the graphic violence depicted, and all around being a very good movie. When I found out that Lucky was doing a new film, I instantly tweeted to him asking him three reasons people should watch All Cheerleaders Die, and he replied:
These reasons weren't necessary for me, as I had already intended on renting it on VOD. And, unbeknownst to most, All Cheerleaders Die is Lucky's remake of his very first film of the same title. No one picked up on it being a remake because no one had heard of the original, which was a low-budget effort.
All Cheerleaders Die starts off in a shocking way, and I didn't expect what happens at all. It's brutal in a turn-your-head way, but yet it's actually funny for some reason. I think the humor part comes from thinking that the cheerleaders deserve something nasty to happen to them, if only for their uppity and rude attitudes towards others and those less fortunate.
After the devastation of the head cheerleader dying, the squad has tryouts. Without much appeal, Maddy (Caitlin Stasey) is promoted and given the part. However, Maddy's ex-girlfriend Leena (Sianoa Smit- McPhee) who's a "goth" and misunderstood, names her cat after Maddy and it gets sick. Leena sees this as a bad omen of things to come.
When some football players discover that Maddy and Tracy (Brooke Butler) are hot for each other, it turns into a volatile situation that ends in all the cheerleaders dying. Only, they don't stay dead. They return to life after their blood touches Leena's psychic stones. When they awaken, they don't remember right away what happened, but they know something isn't right. They can feel it. And, they're hungry like never before, resulting in them eating a neighbor.
Right before one of the jocks can confess to the involuntary manslaughter of the entire cheerleader squad, the girls show up to class looking perfect and ever-so-sexy. This brings surprise of good and bad to the faces of the football team responsible. The jocks are as rude and unlikable as the worst of the cheerleaders are, making it easy to wish them painful deaths at the hands of the zombified girls.
However, the football team starts seeing weird things like the girls' lower backs glowing green, and know that something weird is indeed going on. Before the entire team is taken out, the girls' secret is exposed. The jocks fight back making the cheerleaders the victims yet-again, and it becomes an undead battle to permanent death for some of them. When the lead jock, Terry (Tom Williamson) decides to digest all of their collective power, he becomes the true enemy who must be stopped. And, he wants Leena to show him how to use her stones that brought the girls back to life in the first place. He must be stopped, and his death is more than deserved.
The ending is a cliffhanger, which I did not expect. There's good news with that though; there's going to be a sequel! I really hope a part 2 happens after the way this one ends. Summing it up, All Cheerleaders Die is funny, over the top, sexy, gory, and all around entertaining. Lucky McKee does it again with another solid effort!