jimcancook Reviews

The Fall Guy (2024)

I just didn't get it

[22 May 2024]

I understand that this is intended as just some frothy summertime eye candy. It really did nothing for me. Nothing against the principals, but I find Ryan Gosling to be as charismatic as cold oatmeal. And I've enjoyed Emily Blunt in something I'm sure, but nothing comes to mind. They're capable, but not interesting.

I guess that's my whole problem. I didn't care about the story or the characters. I've seen other reviews mentioned the first 30 minutes of the movie are the best part. I lasted an hour.

For 1980s TV, The Fall Guy was cut for the same cloth as The A-Team (yet another 80s TV show, which was made into a pointless movie). Assemble some interesting characters and blow stuff up. And season with some Heather Thomas, the most beautiful woman who ever walked the Earth. This movie doesn't have any of that.

The Fourth Sunrise (2022)

IMDB needs to offer a way to give negative stars

[1/10 · 10 January 2024]

Never heard of it *shrugs* It's on Tubi and it's free...why not? How bad can it be?

It can be horrible and it is. And that's the only thing it accomplished.

The movie consists of some rando playing the part of a retired astronaut, sitting at a typewriter(!) writing his memoirs and basically reading the book aloud.

He speaks.

In a mono-.

Tone.

Ponderously.

And very.

Slowly.

His sentence structures and word choices are convoluted, in an inept attempt to seem smart.

He's not smart.

If someone pays you to watch it, you're still paying too much and you'll hate yourself.

Avoid. You'll thank me later.

The Kidnapping of the President (1980)

Not as bad as I think it is...

[4/10 · 8 November 2023]

...but not as good as it thinks it is. It's an interesting concept, the American president is kidnapped, locked in an armored truck and held for ransom. The script has plot holes you could drive an armored truck through and logical non-sequiturs abound.

The soundtrack is annoying as heck. There's some music mixed in there someplace but it's frequently lost behind a wall of chirpy synthesizer noises.

And the pacing is sluggish. It's like being in grade school and receiving an assignment to write an essay of some arbitrary length, say 500 words, so you just shovel padding words into the essay until you reached the mandated length. That's how the script feels - padded and bloated.

The cast is OK-ish. Hal Holbrook is fine as the presidential hostage but he's not asked to do much more than sit in a truck. It's always a pleasure to see Van Johnson, who starred in some of my favorite childhood movies - Brigadoon and The Pied Piper of Hamlin - and Ava Gardner.

What to say about Shatner that hasn't been written countless times already? I'm not really sure we should call what he does "acting". He just is Shatner just as he is just Kirk and just every other character he's ever portrayed. He's always the same. Like Robert Morley or Jerry Lewis. Unchanging. Constant. The most disconcerting aspect of his participation is most actors sharing a scene with him unconsciously act like him.

There are worse ways to spend a couple of hours but I know there are better ways as well.

For All Mankind: Stranger in a Strange Land (2022) Season 3, Episode 10

I'm of really mixed emotions and opinions here

[6/10 · 30 October 2023]

I've got two huge issues to address here. I'll start with the one that's least likely to get me flamed. You've got an MSAM with limited fuel, in fact not quite enough fuel to reach Phoenix in orbit. So, the solution is to add another 200 pounds to the payload in the form astronaut Ed Baldwin, who will pilot the MSAM so they can strap Kelly to the nose of the vehicle and have her Iron Woman her way across the last few hundred meters to Phoenix a la Mark Watney (Matt Damon) in The Martian.

Of course the additional payload would have reduced the MSAM's apogee leaving Astrogirl a few kilometers to traverse instead of a few hundred meters after separating from the LSAM. The smart move would have been to temporarily lower Phoenix' orbit a few hundred meters; not what you'd want to have as a permanent orbit but sustainable for an hour or two.

America's Test Kitchen: The Next Generation (2022– )

Utter garbage

[29 August 2023]

This show has nothing to do with America's Test Kitchen. Yes, they got some of the America's Test Kitchen regulars to show up to introduce segments and judge the dishes. It appears the prospect of an easy paycheck was irresistible.

This competition format is alien to what is at the heart of the real America's Test Kitchen. The real America's Test Kitchen serves to educate America's home cooks. The cooks on the original show demonstrate recipes, provide some background information, explain the science behind the food (news alert, cooking is chemistry and physics).

And the cast of contestants are off-putting. Everyone overacts to an almost comedic extent. The fake plastic excitement is repulsive. And seriously, I don't want the lady who has never cooked a scallop teaching me how to cook scallops because "for someone who has never cooked a scallop before you did surprisingly well".

Whoever decided this show was a good idea should never be allowed near a TV show in the future. And it would probably benefit mankind if they didn't have children.

The Ritual Killer (2023)

Came for the Morgan Freeman. Left before I lost respect for him.

[8 May 2023]

Where to begin? The dialog sounds like it was written by someone who is trying to figure out how humans speak. The physical actions - the hand gestures, facial expressions, the movements in general are off - real people don't move, gesture, look, behave like this.

It's almost like writers and director were trying to recreate Bill Shatner's stilted speaking style - overly long pregnant pauses leading into still-born "revelations" (and I use that word loosely). Or maybe they were just trying to pad a 45 minute concept out to an 80 minute movie. The cinematography is weak. Sequences are poorly framed.

There may have been a nugget of a story at the heart of this mess, but this movie doesn't know how to tell that story in an interesting manner.

It's leaden, overly long and boring. I bailed after about 35 minutes and the only reason I didn't bail sooner was that I was making my lunch.

Star Trek: Picard: The Last Generation (2023) Season 3, Episode 10

I'm really at a loss for words here (there be spoilers, but not if you've seen last week's episode)

[20 April 2023]

If you saw ST:P Vox you'll know that the Big Bad this season was Emperor Palpatine. I mean The Borg. Again.

What the heck happened to the end of season 2 when Agnes Jurati merged with the Borg Queen and persuaded her to abandon the Borg's evil assimilative ways and sing Kumbaya with the rest of the Federation. Did that whole season not occur? Or did Picard wake up in Bobby Ewing's sonic shower. Or find himself in bed with Emily Hartley?

The Last Generation isn't horrid, but it isn't terribly original. Hopefully it will have served to tie another tidy bow around the package that TNG's All Good Things had wrapped up so nicely almost 30 years ago and serve as a place to kick-off Captain Seven of Nine's ST: Legacy.

And please, don't make ST: Legacy into the Jack Crusher Show or replace Jeri Ryan/Seven of Nine in that new series. Fans will put up with a lot but eventually we will rebel.

At least I think we will.

Come from Away (2021)

A musical without any memorable music. Why bother?

[2/10 · 28 January 2023]

This really wasn't my cup of tea. As I said in my review's title, this is a musical without any memorable music. I just finished watching this 20 minutes ago and I can't recall a single verse or melody.

I've seen having the cast members performing multiple roles being as hailed as innovative and impressive, but I just found it chaotic and confusing. I really couldn't keep track of who was who. OTOH, It probably kept production costs down.

And the set - 12 chairs. Really! - left too much heavy lifting for me to suspend my disbelief. It felt cheap as well.

It's billed as a musical comedy, but most of the jokes were either blindingly obvious or forced. I think I smiled a few times.

I think the reviewer who commented this felt like a production that was slapped together to lure in tourists in NYC for the 20th anniversary of 9/11 may have hit the nail on the head.

Anyone who paid $100 too see this turkey - that's the ticket price in Greenville, SC right now - has more money than brains.

5-25-77 (2008)

It was OK. Except when it was very good. Or when it was very bad.

[4/10 · 6 December 2022]

Aggravatingly uneven. I guess that's how it struck me. I was in high school when Star Wars (no bloody 4, 5, or 6) first came out and I was a big sci-fi nerd, so this movie I felt like this movie should have resonated with me and it really didn't. Austin Pendleton was great, but he always is. Maybe I'm just too old to relate to the teenage characters, but I don't generally have a problem in that area. I was a bit put off but some of the jump-cut sequences and I get that's technique that's used much more than it was in the past. And there was a general lack of focus. Too many sub-plots were competing for screen time and as a result some of them were left unresolved. Maybe the fact that it took 13+ years for the movie to be completed had something to do with this.

It just didn't sit right with me.

Star Trek: Voyager: Warlord (1996) Season 3, Episode 10

It's common enough story, but a tour de force performance from Jennifer Lien

[10/10 · 14 September 2022]

OK, this is a typical alien entity invades/takes control of/possesses a crew member. Think Kirk being controlled by Sargon in Return to Tomorrow or Dr Janice Lester in Turnabout Intruder. I'd give the story a 6/10. Jennifer Lien's performance, however, is a 15/10.

Other than Elogium, the writers had mostly been treating Kes as a prop for 2 1/2 seasons. Perhaps the first NPC (in this case Non Participating Character). Occasionally a straight woman for Robert Picard's Doctor to riff off of and a few brief scenes of her mental training with Tuvok.

I had assumed that she just wasn't capable of shouldering a bigger share of the load. Or that at least the writers didn't think she could. In Warlord she spanned the gamut from raging at one moment, conniving at another, threatening at another, manipulative, then fear, and remorse and relief and gratitude. All in a very controlled performance that actually gave her character a masculine flair (she was portraying the spirit of a 200 year-old warlord inhabiting the body and mind of a "little girl").

Brava, Jennifer!

Secret Headquarters (2022)

It's a PG-rated kids superhero movie - don't judge it as a movie made for adults

[6/10 · 14 August 2022]

There are continuity gaps and characters are flat. It's CGI heavy. Everything is flashy and shiny and lots of stuff blows up. The jokes are intended for a grade-school audience. Not unexpectedly, the kids are smarter than the adults and end up saving the day.

Make some popcorn and spend an evening with your kids. There are worse things in life.

The Resort: The Disappointment of Time (2022) Season 1, Episode 1

Deadly dull start, intriguing after 15 minutes in

[8/10 · 13 August 2022]

This is a review of episode 1 only.

It's Saturday morning. I think I'm coming down with a touch of a summer cold; just congested as heck. I make coffee and turn the TV on. I'm looking for something frothy to ease into the day. It's one of those TVs with a Roku baked right in. The sponsored ads start floating across the screen and I see one for The Resort. And I'd seen the ad before. Jump over to IMDB to check it out.

Hmmm. 7.1 rating, OK. I see William Jackson Harper, who I loved as Chidi in The Good Place, but I've never seen him in anything else so I figure its worth a look just to see what he can do in a different context. Who else we got here? Oooo, Nick Offerman. I know he really doesn't act so much as just be Nick Offerman but it works. Dylan Baker, whose name I never knew but I've seen him in many supporting roles.

The 1st 15 minutes are dull, but so am I this morning so it's OK. Just stick with it until Emma turns on the Razr about 15 minutes in and starts snooping. I'm not going to tell you anything else. I think you'll be hooked.

I'm not going to review this series any further until I reach the last episode or if it tanks and I decide to bail.

Take a chance. Risk the 15 minutes.

Oh, BTW, the coffee cleared my head. I think I'll go out for a bit. After I watch a few more episodes.

American Horror Stories: Aura (2022) Season 2, Episode 2

A slight step down from last week

[7/10 · 28 July 2022]

A slight step down from last week but still very good. This did not go anywhere near what I was expecting when I read the plot synopsis. Great concept, well executed. I agree with an prior reviewer who said this could be the seed of another anthology series. I can't wait for episode 3 next Thursday.

American Horror Stories: Dollhouse (2022) Season 2, Episode 1

Superior

[8/10 · 26 July 2022]

Warts and all, I enjoyed season one of AHStories. If this episode is an indicator, season two should be very enjoyable. Very entertaining story and a couple of nifty twists at the end. I'm hopeful for this coming Thursday.

The Lost City (2022)

It's exactly what it intended to be and that's not a problem

[7/10 · 31 May 2022]

It's cotton candy. It's popcorn. No, even better it's popcorn's fancy cousin Fiddle-Faddle. The butter-toffee kind. Sandra Bullock is a grieving, reclusive romance-novel writer, a Danielle Steel or Nora Roberts type (I had to google romance writers cuz I have no idea). Channing Tatum is her Fabio. It riffs on Romancing the Stone and others of that ilk. Boy and girl who don't get along falling in love over the course of an unlikely adventure. I didn't need to see so much of Channing Tatum's backside, but to be honest if my butt looked like his I'd be waving it around too. And I'm a straight guy.

It's fun and engaging and at a time when it seems reality just keeps throwing haymakers (Monkey-Pox? Seriously?) an engaging distraction is what I needed, even though I didn't know it.

The Alpha Test (2020)

Kinda riffing on a Night Gallery segment

[5/10 · 9 May 2022]

Rod Serling's successor to The Twilight Zone was The Night Gallery, a horror anthology show which aired in the early 70s. I was about 12 at the time and my dad and I watched it together religiously. There was an episode, You Can't Get Help Like That Anymore, about a couple who would buy robot servants, abuse the heck out of them and exchange them as defective. There were consequences.

This story reminded me of that one. I won't go into more details cuz I don't want to spoil it for anyone. Comments made by other reviewers are pretty accurate. The acting is uneven at best. The FX are all of the practical variety, no CGI and are not well done. But there is a certain charm to them. As someone pointed out they look like props from a 5th grade play, but I'm reminded of the early 1960s' Dr Who where the show was carried by the story not the effects budget.

If you've got nothing better to do it's a harmless 90 minute time-waster. I give it 5 stars, YMMV. A solidly meh effort.

The Institute (2022)

Well, that was something

[6/10 · 23 March 2022]

I thought the actors portraying our protagonists, Daniel and Marie, did a reasonable job. Some have commented that the rest of the characters were not well acted, but I think it was a conscious decision on the part of the filmmakers to have most of the characters appear to be "wrong" in one way or another. The head of "The Institute" appeared somehow divorced from his emotions. I've seen worse ways to spend 90 minutes.

Monsters in the Closet (I) (2022)

Horrible. Just don't even bother.

[6 January 2022]

To me, this is one of those rare movies. After I downloaded it, I watched about 10 minutes then deleted it just to be sure I don't accidentally start watching it again. It seems only tools the creators (and I'm stretching that term to the breaking point) had were gore and vomit, repeated ad nauseum. This isn't horror; it's a gross-out fest.

Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title (1966)

This is dreadful.

[15 December 2021]

It's 84 minutes long. I lasted 7 minutes. I enjoyed Morey Amsterdam on the old Dick Van Dyke Show. Carl Reiner has a writing credit on all 158 episodes, Morey has none. One of Morey's few writing credits is this dog. So, I guess Morey was a funny performer, but not a good writer.

Avoid.

La Brea: Day Two (2021) Season 1, Episode 2

Did anybody involved in this take physics in high school?

[4/10 · 9 October 2021]

You can't carbon-date inorganic material. I can suspend my disbelief quite easily, but the writers need to at least put some effort into not being stupid. I'm giving it 4 stars because the show is built on an interesting idea (although hardly a novel idea) and there's enough uncertainty that it could grow into something entertaining.

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)

Great cast! But Just "No"

[18 July 2021]

I don't consider myself a prude. Maybe I should reevaluate that. I curse a fair amount, at least enough to get my sisters' upset. I use f-bombs and s-bombs like most people use commas. But wow, this movie takes it to another level. I lasted about 15 minutes before walking out.

Alice in Wonderland or What's a Nice Kid Like You Doing in a Place Like This? (1966 TV Movie)

This hasn't aged well, but it hit all the right nostalgia buttons

[8/10 · 26 June 2021]

"Alice in Wonderland or What's a Nice Kid Like You Doing in a Place Like This?" originally aired a few days after my 7th birthday. I still remember Sammy Davis Junior's Cheshire Cat, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble's 2-headed caterpillar, Zsa Zsa Gabor's Queen of Hearts and Daws Butler's Phil Silver-esque sportscaster and W. C. Fields-ian King of Hearts. Pretty top-shelf work from the Hanna Barbera cartoon factory.

For 49 minutes, this 62-year-old man was a child again. Highly recommended for other children of the 60s. Even though it's almost July, I may fire up 1964's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer or 1966's How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Solos (2021)

I like what I've seen so far, but I had to turn it off for now

[7/10 · 24 May 2021]

I really enjoyed the first episode. And I think I get what they're trying to do; they're telling small, intimate, deeply personal stories; emotional narratives in a sci-fi wrapper.

They are the kind of stories that I have to be in a certain mindset to appreciate and that's not where my head is today.

I'd say give it a try. I'll be back when I'm in a more receptive head-space.

Creepshow: Night of the Living Late Show (2021) Season 2, Episode 5

Very entertaining

[7/10 · 1 May 2021]

An interesting story well told. The surprise ending was telegraphed a bit. This episode contained only one story instead of the usual two.

Bad Janet. Bad, bad Janet. Back to your void.

First Signal (2021)

This movie is not for everybody, but it's not terrible

[7/10 · 28 April 2021]

This is a small movie. I didn't time it but I think about 1/2 of the movie is people sitting around a conference table talking. The acting isn't stellar, but it's not horrid. I think uneven might be the best description. Some of the actors may come off as wooden, but there wooden people in real life. There is some overacting, but who doesn't encounter someone losing on it rare occasions (google "mask rage video" sometime).

It's an interesting idea, presented as well as possible on a frayed shoestring budget. It's not Star Wars/Avengers/Star Trek (which I also enjoy). I've wasted 100 minutes in worse ways.