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Reviews
Out of Darkness (2022)
Disappointing, Wasted Potential
This movie suffered from two significant issues. One, poor writing, wherein the story suffers because the illogical plot was repeatedly written into dead ends that could only by salvaged by number two. Two, the repeated, lazy, and nonsensical deaths.
The movie has no pay-off. There's no satisfactory resolution, just another dead end. The ending isn't open to interpretation, it's just bad. The whole end narrative of one of the survivors revealing the humanity of their attackers made zero sense considering everything that had come before.
However, the acting was pretty good for what a poor story they had to work with. The cinematography and visuals were pretty good as well.
Unfortunately neither of these two things can save a poorly written story. Don't spend money on this, i'm glad I didn't since it wasted 1.5 hours of my time.
The Iron Claw (2023)
Decent, but not 'The Wrestler' quality
Every since it came out, I've seen plenty of hype and glowing personal reviews about "The Iron Claw" and how it affected people emotionally. Having finally watched it, however, I can confidently say: "It was ok."
I can respect what Efron and White put themselves through to build the physiques they needed for the roles, but I didn't feel much empathy for the characters, based on real events or not.
I'm not going to remember this movie in 15 years like I do "The Wrestler", and I'd love it if people who watched "The Iron Claw" but haven't seen "The Wrestler" did so, and then compared the two for emotional impact.
Dual (2022)
Awkward and Disappointing
The attempts at comedy were at best boring. The concept was interesting and there were a few really good moments in the film that could have been expanded on, but the climax was disappointing, making me regret watching the film at all. There was no twist, just a middle finger to the viewer.
The Guardians of Justice (2022)
Too Much Cringe
Who in their right mind thought, "boy, you know who we should cast? Andy milonakis!" mega cringelord in his own right in this ridiculous cringefest.
What a joke.
Infinitum: Subject Unknown (2021)
Poor Writing Makes This Unbearable
I did not finish this film.
The protagonist wakes up secured to a chair, feet bound, hands bound, a useless gag over her mouth. She quickly figures out how to get out of the chair, freeing her legs and removing the 'gag'.
The protagonist, somehow, unbelievably, can't figure out until 30 minutes into the film, how to free her hands. She is shown trying to use her teeth, once. There's certainly nothing sharp in the room in which she's contained to free her hands.
Except a mirror. Except two windows. Apparently all made of bulletproof glass. Wait -- the protagonist never tries breaking any of those. Because they certainly wouldn't be sharp enough to break the plastic tie around her wrists, right? Not to mention the fact that broken, single-pane windows definitely wouldn't allow her to try to call for help in the residential area, or I don't know, maybe escape. She's only on the second floor, after all.
This is POOR writing, and POOR story-telling. If your protagonist doesn't even attempt the most basic of logical things, maybe change the set to remove those things as even potential options.
I had to fast forward to the 30 minute mark where she finally frees her hands. 17 minutes of insulting basic intelligence was too much.
Avoid this at all costs.
The Outer Wild (2018)
At least the camera work looks okay
But it can't make up for the absolutely atrocious dialogue. Whoever wrote this flop has no idea how people speak, or how dialogue should flow, or, you know, actually make sense in the context of the scene.
Couldn't even finish it due to cringing every time a character opened their mouth.
Steer clear. Waste of your time.
Blue Bloods: Triumph Over Trauma (2020)
Logic has left the building
No matter all the other issues other reviewers have had with this episode, the horrible illogical writing is what stands out for me, especially with the trapped in the basement part of the story.
Are you kidding me? You have a service weapon. When the cops show up to the door, you don't FIRE THE WEAPON? Probably a heck of a lot more effective than banging on the bloody pipes in the basement. Not to mention that this is Danny we're talking about. He'd try to escape!
The writers should be ashamed.
Romans (2017)
Great Acting, Poor payoff
Orlando Bloom's acting in this movie is the only redeeming quality.
Long story short, there's no payoff. Forgiveness? What kind of religious propaganda is that. There's no resolution.
Don't title a film 'Retaliation' and play it off as a vengeance story when there isn't any.
W lesie dzis nie zasnie nikt (2020)
Horrifying
LMAO, worst fake head I've ever seen in a movie in my entire 42 years on this planet.
Cosmos (2019)
Good Up Until the Battery Issue
This is a slow film.
But despite that, it was decent for the most part.
The acting was all right, the concept was good.
But the contrived drama near the end didn't work.
Batteries at 10%, we're going to lose precious data! We have 18 minutes to get battery power from the station. if we leave now, it'll be tight, but we can do it. Okay, sure, but first let's waste 6 minutes gathering up all gear scattered around the woods. Because we don't know it's out here and can't come back for it later.
COME. ON.
Anger of the Dead (2015)
Putrid
As soon as I saw Uwe Boll's name attached in the opening credits as a producer, I knew I was in for another garbage fest. I wasn't wrong. Horrible writing. Horrible dialogue. Horrible acting. Horrible scoring and choices for where score should even GO.
Don't waste your time.
The I-Land (2019)
Amateur Hour Dialogue
Seriously. Who green-lit the dialogue for this show? It's so bad.
Family Possessions (2016)
Worst scream editing ever
Mediocre B movie. The sound editor needs to be slapped upside the head though. The right-into-the-mic screams were stupidly unnecessary. Seriously, the rest of the movie is normal volume, acceptable volumes, but hey, when we have a character scream, let's turn it up to 11 and turn on the reverb. Ridiculous.
Oh, and dead granny? LOL. I think they bought that prop at a discount Halloween outlet.
Shi fu (2015)
Mediocre at Best.
Poor writing, pretentious, lack of resolution. The only worthwhile scene from this film is the alley fight. Reviewers lauding t his film as some sort of modern martial arts rebirth are grasping at straws.
Drifter (2016)
The sound / music alone ruins this film.
The music and sound ruin this film. Both are horrible and cringe-worthy. I have nothing else to say because I couldn't focus on anything positive with amateur-hour going on overlaying every scene / camera shift. I'm not sure anyone previewed the final product before deciding it was good to go.
The Battery (2012)
Montage!
I will admit that there were a few memorable and clever scenes.
Despite this, as a whole the movie was a too-long series of montages set to too many hipster tracks leading to the final act, which actually displayed the potential for a story.
I understand the budget was small, but that doesn't excuse the lack of story. Shouldn't a good film be story and character-driven? I don't really feel that enough time was spent on either. I felt nothing for the characters. Why resort to musical montage filler that doesn't actually contribute anything?
If the intent for this film was to be an artsy vehicle for the writer / director/ producer's musical interests, well then good job!
Nice effort, but I struggled to stay awake.