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judas9000
Reviews
Hitman (2007)
i rated this one worse before the new one came out
Initially i was way harsher with the rating of this movie, but honestly the newer hitman movie that came out in 2015 makes the original one look somewhat decent.
That saying, at least in this movie they managed to include some nods to the original IP and to the way the games felt while playing (any hitman game except absolution, that is)
well what else can i say... its one of these movies you watch only one time and then you forget it exists until you see it on TV ten years later by pure coincidence and then you mostly remember it for how bad it was.
Olga Kurylenko is what keeps this one afloat while watching it.
Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)
There is not much to say about this
Besides the following two questions maybe:
1. Who greenlit this?
2. Why has this even been made?
The only thing this movie has in common with the IP is that the main dude is called 47, is bald and has a barcode on his head. Thats it.
Bad action, bad effects, abysmal story, guns that dont cycle when being shot, an absolute weird attempt at trying to establish a sequel (dear gods please no) with a cringemax post credits scene.
If i would have gone to the cinema to watch this burning heap of dung i would have had the very strong urge to burn the place down to the ground afterwards.
Nobody asked for this movie. I hope everyone involved in its production is having a cringe-seizure every single time the thought of it comes up.
1899 (2022)
Starts strong and loses quickly
While the series provides an intriguing start and a mysterious offset, after 4 episodes it becomes a very drawn out, almost tedious experience with heavily plastered on visual myster for the sake of mystery.
There is just not that much meat on the bones here. After watching the whole season and the initial flash of visual quality wearing off watching the rest of the season becomes a chore. Like many other series it feels like half of the actual episode count would have been more than enough. Its sad.
For the german viewers: try to watch the german localisation of it, they made a comedy out of it like they always do. With comedy i mean they ruined it even more by making ALL people speak german, losing the interlanguage aspect of the series fully. I'll never understand why they keep doing this. Its like taking a picasso or a monet and taking a huge dump on it after making a copy.
Im Westen nichts Neues (2022)
good production quality but suffers from bad adaptation
The 1930 and 1979 adaptions of the book are way better, you should watch them instead if you are looking for a true to source experience.
This is very sad because production quality wise this movie is made very well and shows the horrors of ww1 in a gruesome and very graphic fashion that leaves no one unharmed after watching this.
All in all the movie suffers greatly from the bad adaptation of the source material, despite its cinematography being very good. Still it feels like a wasted opportunity.
One thing that really bothers me though and i will never understand it fully is the laziness in some of the details, for example rifles having no recoil in the battle scenes. In the opening scenes i asked myself why the german soldier is racking the bolt of his rifle because i didnt get that he was supposed to be shooting. Once you see it you can never unsee, and details like these ruin whole war movies for me personally.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
Too drawn out, but besides that not that bad
How can I best describe it, let me try.
The first season of Rings of Power feels like a film that is 8 hours long without any real justification for it based on the depth of the plot it contains.
All of the episodes are overstuffed with pointless slow-mo shots and interminably long character set-ups, while the overall plot, which isn't that bad, is unnecessarily dragged out. Some episodes last an hour, and afterwards you have the feeling that nothing really happened and the storyteller wasted your time on purpose.
I think it would have been better to make it a film with a running time of two to two and a half hours, but apparently 8 episodes had to be filled.
Without the issues written above i would have rated it somewhere between 8 and 9.
Papillon (2017)
why was this film even remade?
The 2017 version is not a bad movie, but also not a great one. It doesn't even come close to the 1973 original with McQueen and Hoffman, which you shoud watch instead.
The Book of Boba Fett (2021)
thanks for ruining one of the best star wars characters, disney
Besides that editing, cgi and writing are abysmal in this show. Why does this exist? Who greenlighted this?
Also, every episode feels like someone was just goign through a fanservice checklist, checking one box after the other
after the mandalorian i really had hopes for the star wars universe, but nah its all gone again now
Thats all. Nothing more to say here. Star wars is a childrens show now.
Bad Boys for Life (2020)
no one asked for this
And thats exactly what this movie feels like.
2 geriatrics trying to rekindle the 17 year old flame.
Spoiler: it feels artificial and like a cheap cash grab rehash of what worked 20 years ago.
Don't Look Up (2021)
The movie the current society actually needs
I really liked this one.
The western worlds current society really gets shown the mirror here. The only downside is that parts of it hit so close to home that some jokes die from having your laughter getting stuck in your throat.
All reviewers who gave this movie a mediocre or bad score mostly seem to be appalled by its actual realism in many points it makes, and unable to handle them.
Besides all that, cast and production quality are also _very_ good for a netflix production i must say.
Like Batman, this Movie is not the Hero gotham deserves, but the one it needs (sorry for the campy pun)
Underwater (2020)
i dont get the bad reviews
It's a decent techhorror movie in all regards.
Most bad reviews here stem from people not liking the actors - that doesn't make a movie bad.