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Nefarious (2023)
Decently, but ultimately stiff and manipulative.
I've seen a lot of reviews here claiming brilliance or speaking about the Christian perspective. First, this movie isn't a horror at all: it's a locked-room drama. There are some body-horror moments near the end just to put some of the fear of god into you, but nothing ridiculous.
Secondly, if you think this is brilliant, wait 'till you see what an actually good film looks like. Go rent The Diving Bell and The Butterfly or The 400 Blows; then come back and talk.
The dialogue is fairly decent, but stiff and manipulative. It's clearly from the Christian perspective, which leaves big holes in some of the points and perspectives. It's so worried about the point it has to make that it doesn't allow the charcters to speak honestly. For example: when the doctor proclaims that he's an atheist in order to combat the basic idea of demonic posession, it rings so hollow to anyone who actually is one. No doctor would say that first: he'd speak about "science". The eggregious plot device to count down highly questionable "murders" is laughable.
The acting is serviceable, if overdone. The plot has some potential: it's certainly not unique, but could have been better executed to create something interesting. Direction is decent and production quality is good. Ultimately, the orignal sin here is the writing: it can't afford to be "real" because it's too busy trying to be "right".
At 5 of 10 stars, it's still the best of the recent "Christian production films" I've seen. Perhaps in a few more iterations they'll have something good; they'll have to get out of their own way first.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Shockingly bad, the rich history it had to work with.
Truly, deeply, entirely terrible. I mean, not A SINGLE redeeming quality. How badly do you have to screw up to ruin this big a franchise and destroy the good will of this big a mythos? This badly.
The Thing (2011)
A Worthy Addition
Don't let the low metascore fool you: the embarrassingly low critic's numbers are a badge of honor it shares with its predecessor, 1982's "The Thing". History has vindicated the first as a classic of filmmaking, and it will vindicate the second.
Done with tremendous care, and many hat tips to the original, this second "The Thing" presents itself as both prequel and re-telling, introducing an entirely new generation to the concept of The Thing, while setting up the original movie to be the "end" of the story. The CG work is excellent, but tries not to overshadow the original; it simply adds to it. When the original's practical effects are viewed through modern day eyes, some can seem a bit tired, unfortunately, but still so much of it stands up: an homage to careful filmmaking. The sequel's cg effects do a beautiful job of dovetailing into those practical effects.
The storyline both continues/pre-exists the original's action but re-tells it in a manner that works perfectly, and the action and directing is all admirable. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is excellent in her acting, intense in her actions, and beautiful to watch.
I went into this expecting nothing but the worst, and came out so glad to have it. Thank you for giving us more.
Hillbilly Elegy (2020)
The mediocre reviews are correct.
This movie truly sits right at the center: it's simply unextraordinary in any way. The screenplay, characters, and basic direction is straightforward and down the middle: there are no surprises, little that's especially creative or unique. In and of itself, this isn't necessarily a bad thing when telling a story: some stories are just honest portrayals of life, and life is incredibly straightforward. Unfortunately, this doesn't strike as a particularly unblinking look at the hard lives of a family from a hard place, either. Some of the situations and characters ring false and some of the acting is far too heavy-handed to feel like reality. It just feels a bit lifeless, if not specifically dull. That would be a clever Hemmingway-kind of device to comment on the banality of this world, but it obviously wants to rise above it; it just can't.
If you're not expecting much and you're not looking too closely at the strings, it's (I hesitate to say "enjoyable") very "serviceable", but if you expect more from such lauded figures of the movie business, it's not here.
Fantasy Island (2020)
Truly, a terrible fantasy
I've just given this movie one of the worst ratings I've ever given out. It was slow, dull, meandering, and too long. The acting was fine, if a little hammy, but it was the writing and directing that were brutal. Not my fantasy.
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
There's still only 2 Terminator movies
Plenty of action but mediocre and predictable. Some fan service and a few (thankfully) lame Terminator gags, but the real service would have been in a better script.
The Monster Project (2017)
Utterly boring and terribly done, trite piece of junk
I finished watching it 10 seconds ago and couldn't wait to let the directors know how terrible it was. Typical horror fare with cheap jump scares, some "old-fashioned" monsters that never do very much, some terrible acting, and a Deus Ex-Machina ending that makes the entire thing not just terrible but futile.
Sucked.
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Simply one of the worst movies ever
15 years after first viewing this movie I finally get to write what I think of it...and it ain't good.
I'm exactly this movie's audience: I was in my 20's in the 90's and I was an alt-metal listening, cool kid, Bruce Campbell loving, screw the man, smoking and drinking, Tom Green watching, alt-comedy going, deconstructionist humor, surrealist loving, MTV 120 minutes, Liquid Television &, Oddities loving guy.
That's shorthand for: "I get where this movie is coming from...and it's still completely awful."
Green's surrealist take on humor, using awkwardness and being frustratingly obnoxious has always struck me as desperate and this movie is no different. It's 2 hours of him ad-libbing obnoxious, pathetically desperate, unfunny behavior around a loose plot of parents that hate him, basically mirroring his own life.
Here's some of the unfunny stuff he does:
-Wearing a bloody deer carcass (that's not funny, not because "poor deer", but because there's no comedic content to wearing a deer carcass)
-Running on top of a production line with a cheese on your head and plant in your mouth and buzzing like an insect (c'mon, dude.)
-acting like a retard (sorry) and yelling "clippity cloppity" and other nonsense about the zebra family cartoon you drew.
-tying sausage to his hands and nonsensically playing the keyboard while singing a little song to his father (in fairness the trailer for the movie played that clip before I saw the actual movie and it really made me laugh. I thought it was brilliant. Nope. Turns out it's only brilliant if you just show that 5 second clip, not the surrounding material, which the trailer editors seemed to instinctively understand. Little tip: comedies come together in the editing.)
The only bright spots are Rip Torn, who is great as usual, and Marisa Coughlan who is lovely, despite repeatedly being made to say she wants to 'suck Tom Green's c*ck.' (It's good to be the director. I hope she got paid a lot to say that.)
The movie ends as it began: badly. Really, don't bother.
I'm amazed that anyone has ever liked this movie and that it was green lit at all, but some people can fool the world, at least for a while. Green was so unique at one point and there was such a need for interesting new stuff on TV, that the world actually thought he was was funny for a minute, instead of just awkward and annoying. Thank god we woke up.
The Jackass crew and the likes of Workaholics, Larry David, Adult Swim, Broad City and various UCB grads have made a lot out of awkward and annoying cringe comedy, but Green did it first...and worst.
The Leisure Class (2015)
Enjoyable But Not Perfect. A Lot of Unfair, Sour Grapes Reviews Here
I've been watching Project Greenlight along with all the other reviewers here, but I feel like these reviews have generally been unfair and weighted by feelings from the show.
The story is solid. You've seen some derivative of it before, but find me one you haven't. The character development could be stronger, most of these people are thin stereotypes, but, again, find me a movie not full of them. You do get a sense of who the 2 main characters are immediately, tho and their chemistry is fantastic. They're the heroes of this movie and they bolster it all the way through. The comedy is good: farcical slapstick. although I personally would have liked to see it ramped up a bit more. As was stated in the show, I would also have liked to see more progression in the main female lead and the pacing does feel a bit rushed.
Overall a good solid effort with a few great performances. Not your favorite movie but enjoyable, and certainly not as pannable as the sour-grape-eating, wannabe-directors have reviewed here.
Harlem Nights (1989)
Criminally underrated
A great cast full of amazing comics, solid writing, and fun situations detailing the changing of the guard in NYC's criminal past make this movie one of my favorites. It isn't "laugh a minute" and isn't supposed to be, but it keeps a light-hearted spirit and a general good nature even in it's darkest moments.
The cast is brilliant and excellent at keeping the movie well-paced and engaging, and the characters are fleshed out just enough for the comedy to shine through.
Completely entertaining and features Eddie Murphy in his prime (although it's certainly a bit of Eddie patting himself on the back for being so damned charming and brilliant as writer, director and star, but he's honestly done a great job. The man knows funny.)
In a word: fun.
Fantastic Four (2015)
I'm about to p*ss some people off: "Fantastic Four" is a decent movie.
I walked into this expecting a full-on wreck of a story. Instead, I found a lot of unfair critiques. Once you let go of your FF preconceptions and accept the retelling of the mythos (and the scientific mumbo-jumbo that's in every science-y movie), it's a pretty decent story. It's not the FF story I wanted, but it works. Certainly it works better than the nightmare the previous 3 movies were (apart from the comic relief of Roger Corman's version and Michael Chiklis' performance as The Thing.)
The main problem I saw was that it needed more development, specifically in the 2nd and 3rd acts; it feels cut down to me. I honestly thought it could have been a half-hour longer. If they'd done that, they could have developed the "body horror" of transformation, given us more on the development of their powers, developed Doom's character and return, his "plot", and the actual ending far more.
Overall, however, I was surprisingly entertained. The cast all did admirably. No one suffered from overacting, the characters felt good, the dialogue wasn't stiff (the scientific writing and premises were bad, but you have to expect that), directing is firm. The development was a little lacking here and there, but I think they took advantage of the fact that we all know who these guys are for the most part.
Not brilliant, but definitely entertaining. Good enough.
Mr. Brooks (2007)
Only interesting and surprising if you're new to Hollywood movies. Skip it.
Unimpressive, unsurprising, standard Hollywood nonsense. A truly bland and lackluster mix of clichés & improbabilities.
I had high hopes for this film but from the first kill I knew I was in for disappointment; nothing about it seemed connected or driven, certainly not enough for a serial killer who is driven to kill in this fashion.
Demi Moore is completely unbelievable as the "tough, hard-nosed detective". Terrible acting, terrible casting. Kevin Costner is Kevin Costner. He does one thing well and that's be Kevin Costner: you like it or you don't. William Hurt as the alter-ego is fine. Dane Cook is useless; he looks like a tub of overweight, hairy pudding wearing too much makeup and acts like a jittery moron with no sense of propriety, as though his character doesn't comprehend the moment he's occupying. Terrible makeup, terrible acting, terrible writing and terrible casting.
The daughter, escaped convict and ex-husband "b", "c" and "d" story lines are useless and distracting; better suited to a TV drama. They mostly serve to try and flesh out the lead characters' lives. They fail.
This could actually have been an interesting and clever psychological thriller if it weren't spoiled by what I assume is too many cooks: the need to bank on the star power of poorly-casted, waning and up and coming stars, along with a poorly worked out screenplay and mediocre directing lead to an ultimately disappointing film.
Chappie (2015)
An oversimplified version of a story you've seen before...
Upfront, I didn't really love it. It's a fairly well-made movie and a decent story, so I expect plenty of people will like it more than I did, but I thought it was a bit lacking in substance. I really liked district 9 and expected more. I know an hour and a half isn't much time, but it's development certainly felt rushed to me, even for a theme you've seen in sci-fi 100 times before ("What is consciousness? What is it to be human?")
Hugh Jackman is an odd choice as the protagonist (and seriously, what is that haircut?). The story is very oversimplified, the ending feels contrived, I'm not really sure why Sigourney Weaver is in this movie and Dev Patel was better in Slumdog Millionaire.
Yolandi from Die Antwoord wasn't great, but better than I thought she'd be. Ninja wasn't as good, but did fine. Their compatriot was as good a stereotype as any (although the way they folded the band's images, logos and music into their characters was odd and distracting, especially to people who know them from it.)
Overall, not what I wanted it to be, but some people loved it. Judge for yourself.
The Machine (2013)
A Decent Attempt at An AI Movie
Entertaining and earnest. Works hard to be more than it is, but never quite makes it come together.
There are interesting elements and the acting is pretty good. A few "robot tropes" (stiff gait, weird head jerks) but it's handled fairly well.
There aren't a lot of surprises here. You know which way this is going to go from the outset: the antagonist "badguy" is who you expect it to be and he acts how you expect him to and the protagonist "goodguy" is who you expect him to be and he also acts like you'd expect him to. Interaction between robot and creator follow the standard "attractive female robot/alien" line and borrow from the originator, "Frankenstein".
There are some plot threads that seem unexplored yet could have fleshed out the backstory a little better. There are also a few plot holes and some believability issues.
Overall a good attempt, but not enough to make you want to watch more.
All Superheroes Must Die (2011)
Very watchable; a must for fan boys/girls.
Just watched "All Superheroes Must Die." Genuinely liked it; the low ratings and bad reviews are undeserved. It's got some script and acting problems and it definitely watches like fan fiction, but there's a lot that's great about it and it's obvious a lot of love went into it.
Very small budget but they did a lot with it. I'm surprised that they were able to get two veteran character actors in the film. (I just watched a $50M Hollywood film and gave it the same rating.) Back-story was light for the antagonist, Rick Shaw, as was his tech, but the heroes' character development was good and you certainly understand their motivations.
There are some script issues and at times it calls for some odd acting choices to make them work (moving too slowly during a countdown, not lunging for the detonator as someone fumbles for it.) Speaking of which, the acting does have some less believable moments and the traps/scenarios could have been more intricate, but overall the movie feels authentic in a fan fiction way. These are real people with real feelings going through real pain. It's a difficult thing to make characters feel real and they accomplish it.
If you're a fan boy/girl, it's a must see.
Star Trek Continues (2013)
A fine job
The cast and crew of "Star Trek Continues" have done a really great job of emulating the look and tenor of the original Star Trek series. Their objective is to complete the run of the original 5-year mission (hard to believe we only got 3 years of the original) and they're accomplishing just that.
These are true fans and master craftsmen. The sets and costumes are flawless and the writing and acting styles compliment the original series perfectly. All of the cast mirror their more-famous counterparts well, including all of their famous acting nuances (yup, Shatner's phrasing and pauses are here, but not played for comic effect.) The only weak spot acting-wise was Grant Imahara of Mythbuster's fame as Sulu. Grant's certainly passable but not as strong as Takei (who wasn't brilliant, but better.)
I think the first (and only complete) episode runs a little long for today's web-gen; 30-40 minutes would sit better, but this can sit proudly with the best of trek.