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The Host (2013)
Great premise but poorly executed
Science Fiction fans will immediately recognize the premise; Alien invasion and world dominance by occupying a human's mind, and using the body as sort of a combination of camouflage (looks human so they can infiltrate the power structure of human society before we're even aware we're losing a battle for humanity and the planet) and Space Suit). It's not exactly a new theme, and Science Fiction fans will immediately recognize variations of this premise ranging from great (Invasion of the Body Snatchers) to shouldn't have been made (Take your pick)
But all I needed to know that this was going to be one of the ones that should never have been made was that it's made by the same people who brought us Vampire fashion models who sparkle and inter-species love affairs - Twilight; almost didn't watch it because of that and wish I hadn't.
Don't waste your time with this one! And what in the world is up with every car being made from stainless steel? Once humanity woke up to the fact they were fighting a war they could have won by shooting anyone whose eyes glowed or drove or flew a stainless steel vehicle! Come on! That's just way too stupid!
Happy Death Day 2 U (2019)
Huh, how weird, a sequel as good or better than the original!
Ok, I'll admit that I think the user review score for most movies is not an actual indicator of how good a movie is but there are exceptions and I think this is one of the few movies that deserves it's rating.
I think this movie is as good or better than the original - The cast really worked hard on their performances and Jessica Rothe was excellent and she has a bright future if she can get good roles in the future - I'd see a movie just to watch her perform.
It is a fast paced movie without any dead weight and I paused it for every pee break which is something I don't normally do.
If you liked the original you'll definitely like this one - so make sure you take your pee and popcorn break before sifting down to enjoy this - I am going to rent the first movie and watch them in order and back to back, which if you can you should watch it that way.
Not regretting renting this one at all!
Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)
Simon Pegg & friends
I'm a big fan of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost so I would have watched it regardless of it's IMDB score, and it was surprisingly good. If you swore off of the duo after that horrible mistake of Worlds End, give it a go, it will make you a fan again.
Gulliver's Travels (2010)
People take things too seriously here!
It's sometimes hard to decide whether or not to watch something based on it's IMDB score - it seems like it vacillates between reviews that seem to be written by cast and crew, with 9's and 10's for movies that are obviously no where near there to reviewers who seem to think they are scoring Art House movies for some international award no one outside the industry has ever heard about.
Was this a great movie that should get awards? No.
Was it a lighthearted fantasy that is actually watchable and a treat for fans of Jack Black? Yes. I'm not saying run out and rent it, just that if you can't find anything you're really excited about seeing you could do a lot worse than this movie.
Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018)
Surprisingly Liked it more than the first one
I put off seeing this because it was not a continuation of the first one, until one night when I couldn't find anything else to watch and found it on Netflix. The acting in this one seemed less stilted, and the dialogue a little (lot) wooden. It really is a movie for kids, there's no disguising that - no violence, gore and the F bomb doesn't get launched even once.
If you're looking for a fun movie to watch with your kids and don't want to have to stop in the middle and explain adult themes this is a good choice. If you're an adult who embraces their inner child, it's a fun little movie as well.
The OA (2016)
A yawn fest ...
If you want to waste 8 hours of your life to waste go ahead and binge watch the entire season - I couldn't get through even the first episode when I decided that I could waste those hours doing almost anything else and it would be more productive than this.
I couldn't find anything compelling about the main character - which is saying something when you consider that when she appears its after being missing for almost a decade after just disappearing - oh yeah, she was blind from birth when she went missing but now she can see, and when you first see her she is apparently trying to end her life by jumping off of a bridge. You would think that her getting her sight back the doctors might be curious enough to maybe, I don't know - run some tests? At least be a little curious as to how that little miracle occurred? Maybe do a CT scan or an MRI to explain her amnesia? I mean come on! Yet all they do is shrug and get her discharge papers ready. WTF? I sure hope if something like that happens to me that my Dr.'s are a little more interested in my welfare.
So just don't make the same mistake I did - my only consolation is that I didn't waste another 7 hours in the hope it got better. The quality of Netflix Originals has gone into a death spiral - it's as if they think that by pumping these things out at a high rate they will get lucky and have another Stranger Things - not going to happen. But with people like Condoleezza Rice as executives we shouldn't be surprised. Just Don't Do It!
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
A lot darker than Fantastic Beasts
Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them had it's dark moments and themes - but for the most part it was a light movie, and while it had its dark moments it was fun. The Crimes of Gridelwald on the other hand is mostly dark and full of dark themes - child abuse, brainwashing, infanticide - make no mistake, while there are a few scenes that happen in Hogwarts it's not the fun filled school you see in any of the Potter movies. No spoilers but I think they made an inspired choice in casting Jude Law as Dumbledore.
Askeladden: I Dovregubbens hall (2017)
It's pretty obvious 12 ringer reviews, 2 from people who had no stake in the movie
Seriously? Could you have made it more obvious? A 10, 7, 9, all reviews going on about how incredible the acting was, the production values, etc. They either worked on the film or are related to cast or crew.
The 2 bad reviews were pretty spot on, well, at least the higher of the two. The acting was a bit stiff, the dubbing wasn't bad, but I would have preferred sub titles. The hero reminded me of Ron Weasley, only more accident prone and dumber. (Rupert Grint is brilliant, so not really fair), (and they blatantly ripped off the Marauders Map) the Princess was pretty unlikeable, no wonder all of the would be rescuers were after the gold reward, and not her hand in marriage, but she was straight out of Disney's "Brave", only not as appealing - and it's gotta be tough being 2nd to an animated Princess! The Prince wanting to her only because it's the only way to be the king was yanked straight from Shrek's Lord Farquaad, in motivation, stature, looks, even down to having a huge stupid brute as his henchman. Heck, they even took Shrek's swamp! Hey, wait a second, was Shreck based on a Norwegian folk tale? Hmmmm ......
OK, maybe it does only deserve a 3. The scenery was beautiful, so I'll bump it up to a 4 for that!
Hunter Killer (2018)
Boilerplate action and caricatures of soldiers
I know it's got to be hard to come up with an original idea in Hollywood with the amount of pure crap that's being written hoping that someone will buy the script but if you're going to rip off someone else's idea, at least do a good job of it.
The idea is one that Tom Clancy wrote in one of his many, many books about the military, the Executive Office directing said military and one aspect of our armed services that is the most popular - any kind of Special Forces. Basically this movie got enough wrong about those 3 aspects of our countries military that it became harder and harder to willfully lose, or at least suspend reality and surrender to the story.
I won't give details but I will give one example - the men who serve in the Submarine Service are among the most intelligent and diligent people in any job - anywhere, doing anything. The XO or executive officer is the Commanders right hand man, and would NEVER call the Commander out in front of the crew, much less screaming and almost foaming at the mouth - his career would effectively be over and he could expect to be swabbing the toilets out for the rest of the mission and out of the Submarine Service as soon as the sub next docked - that's if he was lucky -he would most likely be confined to quarters.
The Seal team was pretty funny too; in real life they would never try observing a target from the most open, obvious piece of real estate within 10km of their target and especially one with only one way to exfiltrate, and that one way could be closed down by a 10 year old with a BB gun, and the entire team would never lay all next to each other - that sort of made it hard to get into the scene.
Many more examples but I will just say don't waste your money seeing it in a Theater, rent it but only after they drop their price from new release level to average war movie level.
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
7?
How on earth did this movie get a 7? Every review I read trashed it !
It was bashed by politically correct left wingers now that nothing can single out one race or nationality and use comedy to show how different races deal with each others differences - apparently it's bad nowadays to recognize that there actually are differences between people and now everyone is supposed to be the same and therefore equal. The movie didn't put one group down over another or denigrate one group over another - so lighten up already - people are different so get over it already !
Monster Ark (2008)
They don't give zeroes
I guess just being able to make a movie - just the bare requirements like having a script, acters, a director and a producer and being able to put something - anything, on film (or video or hard drive etc) nets you a score of one. I mean, it is an accomplishment of logistics and team work so it should be worth some credit - the same mentality where kids sports teams get a trophy even if they lose every game - but what if the end result is something so bad it drives viewers back to books because it's just so bad you can't unsee it and now when someone says it's a bad movie you have flashbacks to this movie?
That's my verdict - do not watch this movie because you can't unwatch something and no one should have to have this in their brain - ever!
Take away the score of 1 for participation - there's so bad it's good, but this isn't it. The SyFy channel has proven they can make good movies - but they also just proved that people will make horrible movies if it means they get a paycheck. This was so bad someone at SyFy should have lost their job for giving it a green light.
Laserblast (1978)
They should really have a zero on the scale
Omg, this movie is so bad I was embarrassed that I took the time to watch it when I could have been been getting ECT treatments or something. Actually it's so bad it's funny in a way that's hard to describe. This came out about a year or so after Star Wars did, so while it's pre-cgi, they could have had better special effects - it's like they intentionally made them so horrible to match the quality of the script.
Using the word "quality" in the same sentence as this movie is just wrong too. The acting was below the level of a middle school project - an ambitious 5th or 6th grader could have made this - which leads me to believe it was done on purpose as a satire on the Sci-fi genre.
If you watch it with the premise it was a good but not great satire you will probably be ok, but watching it as a sci-fi movie will scar you forever - you'll have to have the aforementioned ECT treatments to get it out of your head.
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Classic Sam Rami!
Classic Sam Raimi!
Even if I hadn't known before seeing the movie who directed it, I certainly would have at the end. All of the campy overacting, which is done very well by the way, on par with the "Evil Dead" - hallmark tension building, to a climax you may haven't anticipated.
Fans of Raimi won't be disappointed - if you aren't a fan, well keep an open mind - you might be one by the end.!
Incredibles 2 (2018)
IT'S BEEN 14 YEARS?! WHAT THE .....,@^%# is going on!?
HOLY FUDGEMUNCHERS! Seriously? 14 years? Well that's just a kick in the nuts! I didn't see the first one until last year and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around that little factoid.
And I haven't even seen the second one so what the hell am I writing a review about?! Well, my fan-boy 10 out of ten is actually for the trailer and the short that Pixar made by cutting it out of the original. Jack-Jack is just perfect, and hilarious; I love the delighted/amused look on his face when he discovers he has laser sight for the first time -lets hope the kid doesn't have allergies when he grows up or he'll be sneezing and blowing off people's heads off left and right every spring.
This review does deserve a "no helpful" rating since I'm really just saying they did Jack-Jack perfectly - whoever did the animation for his character deserves a big fat bonus for their work - I'm going to see the movie in a theater and will buy it from Amazon just to see him discover his powers - which are awesome by the way - and the music when he ignites is a perfect match also.
I'm sure this is going to be one of the rare "Im going to see it 14 or 15 times" movies - which is saying a lot because lately I haven't even been able to watch through the entire movie of the last few that I was looking forward to but they turned out horrible new release movies that have been released.
Well, I hope neither of us will be disappointed when we see it - I'll write a follow up if it's as good as it looks. Great short Pixar!
The Devil's Candy (2015)
The best Horror movie I've seen in years!
I don't write reviews - this is my 2nd one ever and I watch a lot of movies - I like the horror genre, but there are SO many bad one's out there I'm disappointed 9 out of 10 times - this was the 10th time. I can remember seeing this movie for rent on Amazon before, but I was put off by both the title and the cover - it looked like a cheap slasher flick. Usually the acting in them is so bad it's almost funny - if it wasn't so painful to watch, lol, and I can hardly ever relate to the characters that I don't care if they get their head cut off, and in some cases I'm rooting for it because they are so one dimensional and wooden it's like they are a Star Trek redshirt. And I don't like metal either - but the characters in this movie - the family, ring so true that you wish they were your friends or your friends were like them. I actually had to stop watching at one point when the daughter ... well, I won't leave a spoiler - let's just say I didn't want anything bad to happen to them, and I honestly can't remember when that's happened before.
It's not full of impossible jump scares, the fear and feeling of unease, that something is wrong, slowly creeps up on you, until you find yourself tensed up with your toes curled up.
I am really glad I gave this one a chance - and it was because of the reviews here - normally, if a horror movie has a score over a 6, or even over 5.5, you'll find a lot of reviews that seem like they had to have been written by the crew of the movie, or one of their mom's, so that was another shocker, the highest scoring reviews seemed well written and thoughtful. This is a movie I think I'll end up buying because I know I'm going to watch it again. I don't get why authentic horror movies like this do worse at the theaters than found footage or a movie where the unseen human purely evil antagonist somehow also is a computer genius and can break into a chat room then find and eliminate the other characters as if by magic. Sometimes it's good to go into a movie and willfully suspend your sense of disbelief, but you don't have to do that with this one - so get a bowl of popcorn and a six and your movie buddy and be prepared to see the best horror movie you'll see all year - it's just that good.
Extinction (2018)
Pena chose poorly
I've always liked Michael Pena, especially as his performance in "Shooter" as a rookie FBI agent to his portrayal of a basically good hearted yet bumbling ex-con in the Antman movies.
But he really made a mistake signing up in this Netflix original. Even his ability to play a wide range of roles couldn't keep this movie on the tracks. The rest of the characters are pretty shallow - and those kids! They were so annoying if I'd been Pena's character I would have used the situation to accidentally "lose" them. I can't decide if his wife's character was played so one dimensionally and with the least possible emoting is a part of the plot, or just plain old bad acting.
Netflix's success with Brite and Stranger Things has seemingly opened the floodgates for new originals because it's like they are throwing everything out there and hoping it's a hit, unfortunately there seem to be scripts written by relatives of the upper management because almost all suck.
(much like the reviews here seem to be written by the cast and crew and their families - there's no other way to explain some of the high ratings here)
It's watchable, if only to see Pena struggle to make something out of the very little he was given.
Alien Code (2018)
Don't waste your time, you'll never get it back
If you're mislead by the title of the movie, and think it's going to be something like Jeff Goldbloom uploading a virus into an alien ship and it exploding, and along the way to that triumphal moment when man conquers the alien invasion, you will be horribly disappointed.
There is no action in this movie - it's basically a too long look at a "What if time weren't linear?" science fiction question that that has been argued over and over among hardcore science fiction fans - ones too geeky to be cos players but who argue minutia of irrelevant questions in sci-fi chat rooms fueled by Red Bull until dawn and still haven't answered the question. "Groundhog Day" gave a terrific depiction of this idea - watch it instead. (seriously!)
Zero character development - very one dimensional (ha-ha, After you see the movie you'll understand that's a joke)
Kyle Gellner and Azura Skye play two cryptographers, Alex and Beth, who are hired to decrypt a message that's discovered in a satellite that has been sent back in time possibly hundreds of years ago, just waiting for mankind to evolve technologically to the point where man can decrypt the message, which turns out to be what at first is thought to be a machine to let us contact the aliens who left it there in the first place. Coincidently, they are also both dying of brain tumors. Alex, played by Gellner, gives a weak, but still the best performance of the movie. Beth on the other hand, is a one dimensional character who has very little screen presence, it's like she actually was dying and had no energy to play her role.
The agents of the super secret corporation subcontracted by the the government are a joke - Mary McCormack who plays Rebecca, the person who recruited Alex and Beth is the very definition of a secret agent who won't reveal anything to Alex about the job until he signs a no disclosure agreement, gives a performance that would be OK for a high school play, but utterly lacking in the movie. Her two henchmen are caricatures of Agent Smith, who don't utter a single line, but stand there in dark sunglasses and gloves trying to look threatening.
So, poor acting, and a plot that had some potential, but was poorly written and doesn't inspire any emotion at all in the audience. (me). Richard Schiff is a good actor - he played a convincing scientist Man of Steel - Superman, and has played numerous characters well with feeling, must have had a payment due on his vacation home or something, because he has a part in one scene lasting maybe 4 or 5 minutes, and seems to have read the script for the first time about 30 minutes before shooting his scene.
The "Aliens" - who don't come from outer space by the way, look like nothing other than actors hired to play the Slender Man part, but got lost and wound up on this set instead.
Don't waste your money on a rental, I'm sure it will be in Amazons "Prime" catalog very soon and you can watch it for free, even then, you could be doing something more entertaining, like watching paint dry, or waiting for water to boil.
The Sandman (2017)
What a shame ....
This was a real disappointment - the Sandman, an iconic figure in horror, ruined by a bad script and worse acting. The characters were undeveloped, and their lines, admittedly bad, were just made worse by bad acting, and the script fell flat trying to give the story a twist.
Digging Up the Marrow (2014)
Better than I expected, less than I hoped for.
Horror is my favorite genre of movies, unfortunately for me, because there really just aren't that many good, watchable, horror movies produced and released - by watchable, I mean it holds your attention enough you WANT to see what happens, and you're not just watching it because you don't want to turn it off (which I've done, a lot) halfway through because it sucks so bad it just isn't entertainment, it's torture. (An idea for a horror movie maybe?Torture as in strapped to a chair and made to watch horrible horror movies with your eyelids taped open) This held my interest
enough to watch it straight through, mostly because certain scenes had great potential, but it was never realized. There isn't any gore, but there really is a creep factor - the "Monster Hunter" comes off at first as an eccentric man, perhaps a bit (well, a lot) fixated on the subject - the 2 guys who are making the film are believable, and play themselveswell. The idea behind it is kind of cool, but there just aren't enough scenes (none, really) that will make you jump out of your chair, leave the lights on when you go to bed, or make the hair rise on the back of your neck. It's a watchable movie, certainly worth the $2.99 rental on Amazon, but not good enough to see in a theater. The ending of the movie had some good potential, but, it ends with lots of unresolved questions. Bottom line: Unambitious, had a lot of unrealized potential, but it still entertaining. Don't rent it expecting to be totally freaked out - it just really isn't that kind of movie, but interesting enough to sit through. The film makers give the impression that they couldn't decide how to end it, and as a result, it had potential to be great ending, but they just didn't flesh it out enough. I like indie horror movies - some are awesome - WER, an indie flick, was one of the best werewolf movies I've seen in recent years for example, but this just is middle of the road.
Evil Dead (2013)
Not Campbell's Evil Dead, but not that's not automatically bad
OK, this is going to be a short review, as like 700 other viewers have hashed and rehashed just about every second of the film so .... To those who were disappointed that it "wasn't like Ash's Evil Dead" have to realize something - the original Evil Dead was by no means a horror movie. Yeah, it had demons, plenty of slash and gore, but come on - tiny Ash's tying giant ash down after they leap from shattered shards of a mirror and cavorting like drunk leprechauns isn't exactly horror is it? The genius of the original movie was from Campbell's over the top acting, like his deadpan description of the shotgun he's wielding as though he's back at his store demonstrating it for a customer was a hoot - the original was basically a comedic horror movie (is that actually a genre?) When they made this version, they had 2 choices. One, stay true to the spirit of the 1st, a silly, campy, pseudo horror film, or try to make it into an actual true horror movie. They chose the 2nd, and while it has it's moments, it lacks any true scares because they so obviously telegraphed their punches. There wasn't one suspenseful, jump out of your chair scare scene in the entire movie. Even if you hadn't seen the original, you could pretty much tell where this one was going, and what was going to happen next, just by following the book flipping itself to the next horrific violent scene ... I guess you could, if you were feeling generous, call it foreshadowing,but in reality, it was not just foreshadowing, where you're imagination leads you to what might happen next through subtle clues, it plain old told you, in explicit detail what was going to happen next - sort of a "Dummies guide to being killed off by evil and demons while trapped in a cabin in the woods" - true horror lets our brains let loose our own inner demons, what scares you the most might not be what is scary to someone else, but the mind sort of directs our worst fears to manifest - this was more like connect the dots and not a "let your psyche unleash your inner, deepest fears" - our minds can make the unknown more horrible and scary than having a director and producer decide we don't have that capacity to think for ourselves, but actually tell you pretty explicitly what's going to happen next. Campbell's genius was his madcap portrayal of a "every man" rising up to these fears in a way that was incredibly funny, campy, and get, scary at the same time - Now it seems like they have lost so much faith in viewers having the capacity to unleash their inner fears - this one gave us an illustrated road map of what was to come, and the actors (Mia, in my opinion, gave the best performance - yeah, she's going through the hell of drug withdrawal, but the other characters kind of give you the feeling that it's natural for a drug addict in withdrawal to speak in 3 voices simultaneously, vomit (projectile, no less!) a gallon of blood, and be OK. Why a 5? Well, mostly because of Mia, and the rest for the creepy cabin - they did that right - who, in their right mind, would spend another minute, not the weekend, in that cabin after they find what happened in the basement? Mixed feelings - nostalgia for the original, one good performance by Mia, but on the other hand, being spoon fed plot because they think we're too too dumb to scare ourselves ... sort of turned into a wash - It's worth renting - I would have never paid to see it in a theater though. This is my 1st review, so I apologize if it's not so polished as others who post here. Bottom line? If you loved the Campbel version, see it just to appreciate Bruce Campbells genius again, anew. You'll appreciate his version so much more, after seeing how the same movie makes his version seem worthy of an Oscar. Rent it, don't go to a theater.