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SpyderFingerz
Reviews
Troy (2004)
Lagging Storyline, But Lots Of Flesh **some small spoilers**
I've been excited for 'Troy' ever since I saw the trailer with the epic music and uber-squadron of ships. However, after having gotten into a press screening, I learned something. If there is any way that this film is going to do well, it will be because Brad Pitt is nude for multiple scenes. The badass warrior-for-hire Achilles couldn't be portrayed by anyone else, really, women all over the world already think that Pitt really is a God. However, I think that those involved with the film realized that it's a whole lot of war, so since women have been waiting for this film like geeks wait for Star Wars, I think they figured that throwing a lot of bare skin in there would only help to get the butts in the seats. Not only Brad Pitt, but Orlando Bloom has at least one scene of being nearly exposed in his all, which would make women around the world pirate the video just so they could watch and enjoy the sins of the flesh from the official pretty boy movie of 2004 instead of watching late night Cinemax. True, the 'important' parts of both Bloom and Pitt aren't exposed, but they got just about as close as they could without hitting that NC-17 rating. Pitts were mostly profiles, but there was also a lot of magic done with shadowing. Blooms was more straight-shot, but a bed was what blocked what every woman in the theater wishes hadn't been blocked.
So basically, the storyline seems to be trying to mix together both Gladiator and Braveheart, but comes off as nowhere near as powerful as either film. The characters are portrayed excellently, but the way in which they are shown to us makes this 2 & 1/2 hour epic seem much longer and much more drawn out. Worth the price of a matenee ticket.
DysEnchanted (2004)
Saw It At Sundance
I was able to get into a screening of this short, it ran before another film. All in all, it was really funny. The characters were portrayed well, and seeing fairy-tale heroines put into therapy is much funnier than anything the Brothers Grimm could have written. Having some of the most famous storybook ladies talking about narcolepsy, paranoia, obsessive compulsive disorder and the like, it's pretty funny. It does have some adult language (one f-bomb, and Sleeping Beauty talking about her Prince wanting a "snow-job") but for being shot in two days and being about 8 minutes long, it's a great little film. I'm not sure where it is next, but I believe the publicist told me that it's making it's way around the country. Try to catch it if you can.