Slickflix Reviews

The Grand (2007)

"Yes, I did get thrown out of my own Casino."

[8/10 · 27 April 2008]

It's hard to be a poker fan in the world of movies. Let's face it, how many great poker movies can you think of? "Rounders" perhaps. Despite "Texas Hold'Em" growing extraordinarily popular over the last few years, Hollywood has really failed to capitalize on the trend. I'm happy to report that the wait is over. "The Grand" not only emerges as a wonderful poker film, but also one of the best comedies I've seen in ages. While it doesn't seem to be well known now, I predict it will find a massive audience on DVD and Cable, ala "Office Space".

"The Grand" is a mocumentary (in the tradition of Christopher Guest), following six players as they compete in huge Texas Hold'em tournament in Nevada. Along the way we meet many other supporting characters, including family and friends of the main six, as well as other participants in the tournament. The initial six are…

Woody Harrelson as "One Eyed" Jack Faro. He is a lifetime drug abuser who has inherited the "Rabbit's Foot Casino" from his grandfather. A large debt has forced him to enter into the tournament his Casino is hosting.

Cheryl Hines as Lainie Schwartzman. She is a mother of five who supports her family (which includes a deadbeat husband) as a professional poker player. She is also the sister of…

David Cross as Larry Schwartzman. He is also a professional poker player, known around the circuit for his obnoxious behavior. The fact that his father puts his support behind his sister Lainie only motivates him more to win the tournament.

Chris Parnell as Harold Melvin. A statistics expert who uses his knowledge of numbers to his advantage as a poker pro. He is also ludicrously Anti-Social, and lives still lives with his elderly mother.

Dennis Farina as Deuce Fairbanks. The old timer who's been on the scene for years, and has nothing but contempt for what's become of the game over the past few years.

Richard Kind as Andy Andrews. A novice player who won an online poker tournament by chance to win his seat at "The Grand", despite knowing absolutely nothing about the game of poker.

Some supporting performers include Judy Greer, Michael McKean, Ray Romano, Jason Alexander, Hank Azaria, and Shannon Elizabeth. Real life Pro players Doyle Brunson, Phil Hellmuth, and Phil Laak also make appearances, as well as filmmakers Brett Ratner and Werner Herzog.

As you can see, this is a huge ensemble, and director Zak Penn handles it impeccably. Every performance shines, and the pace is fast and fun. I think I laughed three times as much in this film than in any feature all year. The humor is always there, be it in the witty dialogue, the great ensemble, or the various clever scenarios.

As stated before, the film is structured similarly to a Chris Guest mocumentary, alternating between testimonials of the characters, and following the players around as they play in the tournament. The tournament itself is presented similarity to a telecast of "The World Series of Poker", complete with mismatched commentators.

I'm not the biggest fan of Penn's superhero stuff, but I thought he did something clever with his Herzog Loch Ness project. Here, he hits a real sweet spot, creating a real love letter to fans of poker and smart comedy alike.

Remember the Daze (2007)

"Wanna get wasted?"

[6/10 · 15 April 2008]

How's this for a plot line? "A glimpse into the teenage wasteland of suburbia that takes place over 24-hours on the last day of school". Sounds like "Dazed and Confused", right? "Remember the Daze" feels like a film made by people who did nothing in High school but watch "Dazed and Confused". I'm sure that not all the similarities between the movies were intentional. Let's be honest though, this film is like a poor man's "Dazed and Confused", crossed with "American Pie". I'll start off with a little background information.

I myself am just a smidge younger than the Dim Wits portrayed in the film. Class of 2004 (Ugh). I can tell you, without ANY hesitation, this is about as accurate a portrayal of High school life in 99' than "Saved by the Bell" is. This generation was not nearly as hip-to-drugs as the filmmaker wants to believe. EVERY high schooler in this flick is carrying at all times. Please. Not that my generation is any better. You couldn't do a "Dazed and Confused" in the 2000s. Every kid is too busy on Myspace and whatnot to even get out of their chairs. Most high school seniors today couldn't roll a joint if their life depended on it.

So, right off the bat, "Remember the Daze" is plagued with a sense of unauthentic narrative. Making things worse are the fact that every character is a stereotype (multiplied by about 100). Not one realistic teen in the bunch. Not that it matters, the only dialogue any of them get is along the lines of "Let's get wasted", or "Who's got some pot". I kid you not; those lines are spoken once every 30 seconds. The cast of young actors are all apt, with a couple doing some above average work. Unfortunately, the fact that they all play whiney degenerates doesn't help. Marnette Patterson, the young woman that plays Stacy, gives by far the most layered and lively performance.

This film is far from terrible though. Apart from being fake and overly derivative of a certain other teen/drug film, it does have some finer points. The whole thing moves along pretty well, with some interesting scenarios and occasional humor. The cinematographer also seems to know what he's doing, and the film looks a lot more polished than one would expect. While the film definitely features a bit of phony sentimentality and lame profoundness, it never really demands much from the viewer and provides a consistently pleasant atmosphere.

Before I forget, two last thoughts. Was it just me or was the inclusion of the "Photographer kid" beyond pretentious. Ouch. They could have easily cut him out and saved a lot of embarrassment. Although I suppose that lost shot of the photos was suitable. And the title, "Remember the Daze". That's just corny and in no way fits with the tone of the film. They should have just called it "Remember Dazed and Confused", because anyone who watches this will find themselves gawking over the similarities. If you're a fan of the former though, this should be worth a free rental if you've got a coupon lying around. Or better yet, pick up "Can't Hardly Wait", which is leagues more realistic and enjoyable than this.

Asylum (IV) (2008)

"Give Me Your Suffering"

[5/10 · 23 March 2008]

My oh my. I've been looking forward to this movie for quite some time. I recall it filming back in 2006, and was looking forward to a release sometime in 2007. Slasher movie set in a college dorm. Pretty interesting. And I really dug David R. Ellis' last 3 films. Well, as of this writing, March 2008, the film has yet to be released theatrically, and doesn't even have a date set yet. Now that I've seen the movie, I can see why. This baby has direct to DVD written all over it. If this actually gets a theatrical release, I'll eat my hat. Where to begin?

"Asylum" is horrendously written. I would be surprised if this Ethan Lawrence has actually SEEN a horror movie. I hope he has his film-making license revoked. This film felt like one awful collection of slasher clichés.

1. Cast of formulaic characters out of any B-Slasher. The main girl, her nice boyfriend, the nerd, the jock, the slut, the tough chick, the mean Resident Assistant. I assure you, you already know who will live and who will die before the movie even begins.

2. Typical inept security guards. Also the clichéd old man who warns the kids that their dorm is haunted and that they're doomed.

3. Crazy killer who murders teens as revenge for being killed 50 years ago.

That's just the beginning. The "Script" is riddled with many more problems. EXPOSITION GALORE. Each of the main characters has a brainless troubled back-story which they proceed to explain for 5 minutes each.

"Yada yada, my father used to molest me".

"Yada yada, I used to be a druggie".

"Yada yada, I used to be obese".

"Yada yada, I've always been too awkward to make friends".

"Yada yada, my boyfriend used to beat me".

I'm not making any of this up. If someone can explain to me what the main girl's back-story (the films opening) had to do with ANYTHING, please let me know. Talk about pointless. To make it worse, when the killer confronts each of his victims, the character finds themselves suddenly transported to a place where they suffered years ago. They'll proceed to say something idiotic like, "My old bedroom, how did I get in here?! This has to be a hallucination!"

This is the kind of garbage that used to fly, say, 20 years ago in your typical "Nightmare on Elm Street" sequel. Speaking of which, the villain here is nothing but a Freddy Kruger rip-off. Mad doctor who does gruesome experiments on his teen patients. They revolt and kill him. 50 years later his ghost is murdering the teens using the old Asylum as a dormitory. Although the guy was NEVER burned, his ghost still has gross flesh burns all over. Sometimes he kills people in their dreams, but sometimes his ghost just shows up in the dorm. The man's development is beyond pathetic.

And don't get me started on the atrocious dialogue. Being a college student myself, I can assure you that this garbage is better suited for an 80's teen sex comedy. The clichéd hero girl has all the predictable traits. Tragic past, scary visions, she finds the dead body which disappears when she brings the cops. Everyone thinks she is crazy. And despite being big enough to house several hundred students, the only people ever in the dorm are the same 7 "victims". I dare you not to giggle at the "Day to night transitions", which are all the same stock footage of the exterior of the building with a spooky sky.

Anything good to say about the flick? Sure. The whole thing is pretty well shot, with some smooth camera movements and intense colors. The main cast is all appealing too. Unfortunately the material they're given is garbage. I really enjoyed Sarah Roemer in "Disturbia", she's cute and likable. I hope she starts choosing her roles better or she'll find herself stuck in DTV limbo. Also, the guy that plays Dr. Burke hams it up pretty well. Too bad he has stupid likes like "Give me your suffering". He also gives dim-witted monologues as he tortures people about how this is curing their agony. Bah! Watching this movie is torture enough. There is some OK gore, but nothing very exciting – about on par with an episode of CSI.

Overall, the situation speaks for itself. This movie is pretty mediocre, and has ZERO chance of success theatrically. I wouldn't be surprised if it gets a straight to DVD debut sometime near the end of the year. I suppose if you catch it on TV one day, it might be worth checking out. But don't go out of your way.

American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007 Video)

"Lion with small penis must compensate with mighty roar."

[7/10 · 6 December 2007]

I have to hand it to the creative team behind these "American Pie" movies. "Direct To DVD" typically is synonymous with cheap, incompetent film-making. Yet last year I was pleasantly surprised when I found myself thoroughly enjoying the DVD sequel "The Naked Mile". The filmmakers took advantage of the opportunity to deliver a raunchy, yet funny little film. This year they offer up the followup, "Beta House". This is the honest truth, "Beta House" makes the first few "American Pie" movies look like "The Little Mermaid".

This is no holds barred, tasteless, laugh-out loud fun. Sure, the story is a bit thin, but that's the beauty of the whole thing. Within the first 10 minutes we're introduced to the all the main characters, the new supporting characters, get a handful of raunchy gags, meet the villains, and establish the general plot-line. With all that out of the way, the movie becomes a no-limits ride. The gags are a plenty, and they DID NOT hold back in this one. I'm talking male semen, urine, dildos, chicks-with-dicks, sex with sheep, female orgazim sprays, and plenty more. Not to mention the fact that not a minute goes by without boobs or a sex scene.

Returning from "The Naked Mile" are John White, Jake Siegel, Steve Talley, and Eugene Levy (in a similar supporting role as the last few films). The entire cast does fine work. Steve Talley (Dwight Stifler), in particular, has a great energy and screen presence. I predict good things for him. The film is also loaded with great movie references for those who keep their eyes open. By far the biggest laugh of the film for me was "The Deerhunter" parody. Classic.

The bottom line is, if you're a fan of the series, you'll feel right at home with "Beta House". It really pushes the limits of good taste, but in the end is pretty damn funny.

Shoot 'Em Up (2007)

"Eat your vegetables."

[7/10 · 29 October 2007]

Sometimes a movie aims high, falls a little short, but still ends up worthwhile. "Shoot Em Up" is NOT that movie. Here's a film that aims for the gutter and succeeds. Whether or not that is a good thing is entirely up to the viewer. For a film called "Shoot Em Up", it delivers exactly what it promises.

Clive Owen plays "Mr. Smith", a carrot eater who takes it upon himself to protect a baby from a ruthless assassin (Paul Giammati) and his infinite number of henchmen. And that's about the extent of the plot. Along the way Mr. Smith enlists in the services of a prostitute he has a "history" with to assist in the child care. There also seems to be a lame conspiracy as to why somebody has paid to have the baby killed. All that is trivial though. Once Mr. Smith begins shooting at the villains about a minute into the film, the gunplay is about nonstop until the last frame. Shootouts with handguns, machine guns, shotguns, and more. On foot, in car, and even by air. There is no shortage of ammunition here. Mr. Smith is an expert marksman, and dispatches wicked henchmen with ease. He only stops to reload or make one liners.

While this film is credited to Michael Davis, I suspect the real directors were a handful of 7th Graders - juiced up on Red Bull, Video Games, and John Woo movies. Gone is plot, character development, structure, etc. Instead - expect high doses of Rock & Roll music, dead bad guys, jokes, car chases, and – of course – gunfire. Is it anything to be proud of? Not really. Does it make for a fun film? I think so. While the part of Mr. Smith demands nothing except the ability to fire guns and spew cheesy one liners, Clive Owen brings some welcome charm to the role. Paul Giamatti burns the screen as Hertz, the assassin hell bent on destroying our heroes. Giamatti is a huge talent, and as the over-the-top villain, he has the pleasure of chewing massive scenery and having some real fun. His presence gives the film a real flair. Monica Bellucci stars as the prostitute dragged into the action by Smith. While the part is thinly written, and Bellucci seems to struggle with some of the English – she is nothing short of gorgeous and generously spends her screen time in significantly revealing clothing.

The film's selling points, the shootouts, are plentiful and show no restraint. There's some humor, most of it cheesy, but generally effective. While the film is the definition of mindless fun, it still is fun, and that's OK by me. Owen plays it cool, Giamatti plays it crazy, and Bellucci plays it sexy. The gunfire doesn't stop, the jokes are corny, and the film moves at a lightning pace. While you'll probably forget the whole thing as the credits begin to roll, it does make for an enjoyable little film.

2.5/4

3:10 to Yuma (2007)

"Just remember, it's your old man that hauled Ben Wade to that station when nobody else would."

[8/10 · 22 October 2007]

A good western is hard to come by these days. In the 50's & 60's, guys like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood rose to stardom playing gunslingers in the old west. Over time though, the genre fell victim to endless clichés and schlock. So when a new western is released and manages to impress, I consider that quite an accomplishment. In 2005 I was pleasantly surprised by "The Proposition", and this year – I'm happy to say that "3:10 To Yuma" is a success.

James Mangold's remake of the 1957 film is a crackerjack character piece set amidst deadly circumstances. Christian Bale plays Dan Evans, a down-on-his-luck rancher in danger of losing his land to a draught. As chance has it, he finds himself involved in the capture of famed outlaw Ben Wade (Russell Crowe). The authorities look to Evans to help take Wade to Contention where he will be placed on the 3:10 train to Yuma prison. Evans agrees, as he not only feels morally obligated, but placement of Wade on the train carries a $200 bonus – enough to buy back his farm. Unfortunately for our heroes, Wade's gang is hot on their trail, and plan on getting their leader back by any means necessary.

Director James Mangold, hot off his hit "Walk the Line", demonstrates a similar touch that he showed in the Cash biopic. While the film is competently shot and paced, it's his ability to work with actors that deserves recognition. "Walk The Line" featured Oscar nominated performances from Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon, two talented youngsters. With "Yuma", we have the privilege of watching two of today's finest actors go toe to toe. Christian Bale is well on his way to becoming the best actor of his generation. Whether playing Batman, Patrick Batemen, or Bob Dylan – Bale has demonstrated a range and depth of performance that is unparalleled in movies today. Russell Crowe is equally multi-talented, going from roles like "Gladiator", to "The Insider", to "L.A. Confidential" with ease. He also has an on screen intensity that is unmatched in Hollywood.

In "Yuma" both actors are in fine form, and Mangold clearly is having fun watching sparks fly between them. The movie builds as a test of wills between the men. On one side is Evans, a noble man determined to provide for his family through an honest living. Then there's Wade, a cold blooded thief who quotes scripture just as fast as he kills. Their journey together finds them struggling to understand the other man, while trying to stay one step ahead of the other. Amidst the tension is a constant threat of violence. Their trail is filled with the likes of deadly Apache and greedy posses. Not to mention Wade's gang, determined to make it to the train before his captors and set him free. The film features numerous impressive shoot-outs and action sequences, including a nail biting gunfight during the last act. On the downside, it ends a bit too abruptly and asks the viewer to suspend some believe. All that is easily forgivable though. "3:10 To Yuma" is a quality western made better thanks to the first rate performances by the brilliant leads.

3.5/4

Gone Baby Gone (2007)

"I'm gonna bring her home"

[8/10 · 22 October 2007]

There is a certain grim ambiance that distinguishes Boston as a city. Within the last few years, Clint Eastwood and Martin Scorsese enjoyed high praise for their Boston based dramas. The city has a natural grit that lends itself perfectly to film. While "The Departed" utilized the city as merely a backdrop, "Mystic River" came to life exploring the tensions of the working class natives amidst the city streets and neighborhoods. Both these movies were released to mass critical and public praise, so it's no surprise that Boston native Ben Affleck would choose to make the city the subject of his directorial debut "Gone Baby Gone".

Based on a novel by "Mystic River" author Dennis Lehane, "Gone Baby Gone" is a fascinating crime drama. The film concerns the kidnapping of a 4 year old girl, and the investigation that follows by a private detective played by Casey Affleck. Assisting in the matter is a loose cannon detective (Ed Harris) and a no nonsense police chief (Morgan Freeman). With each clue and discovery, it becomes clearer that there is more to this kidnapping that meets the eye. Matters of right and wrong become blurred and, more importantly, choice and consequence.

Director Affleck deserves high praise for taking on a challenging subject and his display of excellent film-making skills. He handles the visual and stylistic aspects like a seasoned veteran, and demonstrates excellent storytelling intuitions. In particular, the city of Boston sizzles with life under his sharp eye. I would even go as far as saying that he outdoes Eastwood in terms of capturing the spirit and nature of the streets of Boston. The film opens with a breathtaking montage of city life, and often slows down to observe everyday people about their blue-collar lives. There are also a number of well crafted action sequences that are very effective and intense thanks to their grounded realism. The acting is capable all across the board, in particular, Ed Harris impresses with his intense and evocative performance. Also of interest is the first rate behind-the-scenes crew assisting Affleck. Oscar nominees John Toll and William Goldenberg provide wonderful lighting and cutting, while noteworthy composer Harry Gregson-Williams delivers a haunting score.

The film isn't without flaws, most notable being the plot suffers a few predictable twists and some uneven structure. I'm not one to dwell on this sort of thing. More important are the final shot and subsequent issues at hand. Affleck doesn't take the easy way out with his commentary. The film offers the kind of bold moral challenge that will surely divide audiences and make for great debate long after you leave the theatre.

3.5/4

1408 (2007)

One Evil Room

[7/10 · 5 October 2007]

Hollywood loves Stephen King. His work has seen numerous adaptations, mostly in the form of films and mini-series. Unfortunately, for every successful adaptation, we are subject to about ten poor ones. In thirty years his literature has gone through nearly 100 screen adaptations, only a fraction of which have been satisfactory. The dramas "Stand by me" and "The Shawshank Redemption" are widely considered to be the best adaptations of King's work. Genre filmmakers David Cronenberg and John Carpenter saw success with their film adaptations, as did masters Stanley Kubrick and Brian De Palma. Outside of those films, most of King's films have ranged from moderate to mediocre. "1408", based on a short story by King, is among the better works.

John Cusack plays Mike Enslin, a once respected author who has been reduced to writing schlock for years. It's a role tailor made for Cusack, with all of his trademark wit and cynicism. Since falling into his slump, Enslin has made ends meet writing stuff like "10 Haunted Graveyards", and "10 Haunted Cemeteries". His latest work, entitled… you guessed it… "10 Haunted Hotels", has Mike traveling the country to investigate the most infamous haunted hotel rooms. Unfortunately for him, every room turns out to be an over-hyped disappointment. So when gets word about "1408", the haunted room in New York's luxurious "Dolphin Hotel", Enslin is immediately skeptical. Who cares that 56 people have died in that room over the years, rooms aren't haunted. Right? Like Mike, I was a bit skeptical going into "1408". How scary can a movie about a haunted hotel room be? Well, color me surprised. Director Mikael Hafstrom and his screenwriters have crafted a very effective thriller. What starts as a boring night in 1408 for Enslin, slowly becomes a nightmare of genuine terror and madness. Subtle creeps slowly escalate to a desperate fight to stay alive.

The movie owes a lot of its success to John Cusack, who is on screen for about 99% of the picture. His ability to identify with viewers while commanding the screen with his sharp performance is key to the success of "1408". That, combined with effective direction and smart screen writing, makes this a refreshing little thriller that doesn't rely on the over-the-top gore of most of today's horror.

You Kill Me (2007)

Hits the mark

[7/10 · 28 September 2007]

Hollywood loves assassins. You can't go more than a few weeks without a new hit-man movie hitting (sorry) the multiplexes. Hell, later this year, there's a movie coming out literally called "Hitman".

The new trend seems to be putting comedic twists on the assassin film. I guess we can thank Tarantino for that. Within the past few years, stuff like "Mr.& Mrs. Smith", "The Whole Nine Yards", "The Matador", "Grosse Pointe Blank", and "Lucky Number Slevin" gave us clever little plays on the assassin genre. If you're at all familiar with those films, you'll feel right at home with "You Kill Me".

Ben Kingsley plays Frank Falenczyk, a hit-man for the Polish Mob out of Buffalo, New York. Frank's an alcoholic, and recently it's been affecting his work. As a result, his superiors send him to San Francisco to attend Alcoholics Anonymous until he can sober up.

The movie doesn't win any points for originality, but it does have a lot to offer. Kingsley puts on a capable, sympathetic show - pretty impressive for a guy who spends the majority of the film getting hammered. Téa Leoni does well enough as the obligatory love interest. The age difference took a little getting used to. Dennis Farina and Philip Baker Hall are a treat to watch playing essentially the same roles they've been playing forever. Hall is the soft spoken head of the Polish Mob Family, while Farina is the loudmouth villain heading up the Italians. Bill Pullman also has a small role as a sleazy real estate agent. Anyone who's seen "Lucky Numbers" knows that Pullman has a talent for quirky lowlifes, and he shines here.

This is a very light movie. It won't blow you away in any regards, but it is a solid 90 minutes of easy entertainment. The script is essentially Frank's struggle to fight his habit. We also get a light love story and a touch of crime thriller. It's a strange juggling act, but Kingsley and director John Dahl pull it off. Don't get discouraged by the bland name. With just enough laughs, drama, and action – this is a small movie than just about anybody can have fun with.