Northener Reviews

Le loup et le lion (2021)

DON'T WATCH THIS CRUEL TRAVESTY NOT BASED ON A TRUE STORY

[1/10 · 12 December 2022]

I cannot believe what I just watched. I just can't believe how this film got funded and made in Canada, I pray to God it's because they lied and left out the animal cruelty part out of their description. Shame on everyone who participated in this sick charade. And even worse the organization that gave them an award. Doesn't anyone do their homework any more???

The whole overblown message in this beyond amateur film was animal cruelty is bad. At the end of the film she says these two animals weren't supposed to be together but ended up that way due to human interference. Well guess what, that's exactly what the filmmakers did here. I was trying to understand how they had the cubs and then the juvenile wolf and lion acting together. They actually took two friggin cubs and raised them together in order to make this stupid piece of garbage film. Who does that?!? Who gives the green light for this garbage? Likely they abused more than one set of cubs since they don't use just one animal actor for films or shows, and there were shots where esp the wolf was not the same. The guy that trained these animals makes money off animals, that's what he does for a living. These forced-bond animals aren't living in a sanctuary protected from the bad humans. They are living in a 'reserve' owned by the humans that did this to them.

This film should never have been made in the 21st century, should definitely not funded by Canada or the provinces, and should be pulled from viewing. An absolute disgrace. The money wasted on this poor excuse of a film (everything except the aerial shots was bad) would be better directed towards actual animal and environmental causes. Don't let your kids watch this.

Mix Up in the Mediterranean (2021 TV Movie)

Changes at the top?

[5/10 · 28 March 2021]

I didn't care too much for this, just wasn't very interesting, but I had to ask - Did they finally get new management at Hallmark Channel? Nevermind the attempt at representation, they switched up the trope. Instead of working for the evil corporation and moving back to the small town they left because they couldn't make a living there in the first place, this guy has regrets about not going for it and decides to finally move away from the small town to start a new life. And then at the end of the movie...gasp...there is a real kiss that lasts longer than two seconds. And in this movie it actually makes sense in the story that they wouldn't kiss until the end. Just wow.

I had to laugh at some of the comments on here about her hair. 😅I don't usually comment on such things, but I've been saying that same thing about the women in my office building for a very long time now. It seems no one under 35 has heard of a salon. Rapunzel hair doesn't actually look good in real life, just lazy and unprofessional. Just cut it, what diff does extra length make if you keep it straight and away from your face, or worse, in a ponytail or granny bun? But I guess that's the issue, they don't want to pay for a cut or take care of their hair. At least Jessica's was styled nicely.

One Royal Holiday (2020 TV Movie)

Bland

[3/10 · 8 November 2020]

It took me 3 times to get through this boring trope filled excuse of a Christmas movie. I should have just deleted it. The story, the dialog, the acting - all mediocre. Royals, culture shock, dead parents, snow storms, cocao, trapped in a small town, canceled events, miracle last minute solutions...I will stop there. There is nothing new here, there is no chemistry with the leads and the story is a just a mashup of all the tropes. The royalty angle is modified from the norm, but come on. Hallmark now has enough fake kingdoms to make up a new continent.

The supposed selling point of this film is the Broadway actors most of us don't know or care about. 1) It's not a musical, 2) they can't act for the camera, and 3) they're not the only actors who can sing anyway. While Tveit has decent experience in front of the camera, Osnes does not. And the Queen with her bad accent and odd demeanor was excruciating. The high ratings people are giving this movie - I feel half of them must be fake.

Another reviewer was commenting on the location and scenery. Yes it's awesome it was filmed in Connecticut, but fake snow in June is still fake snow in June no matter where you put it. There was excessive use of cheap green screen, and they didn't look cold or like they'd just been through some massive snow storm that managed to wreck both the airport and the venue.

I give it 3 stars only for the meta type comments from the Prince where he questions how they can still have a parade when the everything is snowed in, and if it's the law that they have to drink cocoa or cider because it's Christmas. If you are a fan of the silly royalty plots, this may be for you. For the rest I wouldn't even put this on in the background.

Romance in the Air (2020 TV Movie)

It's not the script

[1/10 · 7 August 2020]

Nor is it the two leads. The script, while not great, has a lot of the usual Hallmark/ romance tropes. Cindy has done quite a few movies for Hallmark, and Torrance does period pieces for crying out loud. So why is it so bad? The production. This is just another really low budget job out of Utah. Don't believe me, check out the director's credits. He's done a few of these non-Hallmark films. I usually see these films on other channels, and quickly change the channel. Even with different directors and producers they all have bad cinematography, 2-3 local hires (are they even actors?) and the same canned music that plays on no matter what is happening in the scene.

This is clearly an acquisition that Hallmark would not have made if not for the shut down of their own productions. I find it funny that alot of times people complain about most of their stuff being filmed in Canada. Well that's because they have higher production values for a lower price. Same as the ones filmed in Georgia. This odd film is what you get for cheap in Utah, and I can't believe they get any money for these things.

Midway to Love (2019)

Surprised

[7/10 · 15 July 2020]

I am surprised that Hallmark would pick up an independent film like this. They are hit and miss, but I enjoy them because they don't follow formula. Some small favors in the wake of covid I guess. There is the basic premise, woman goes back home and reconnects with old boyfriend, but Hallmark doesn't have the patent on that. Some people will find this boring because they are not used to seeing something that quietly focuses on two characters rather than alot of silly, contrived and overused situations. Thankfully this is missing the evil bf/gf, perma-smiles, town festivals, baking contests, and saving the small business that actually went extinct about 3 decades ago. Maybe Hallmark can get a few clues from this film.

It does have the pitfalls of a low bugdet - the horrid tertiary characters and inappropriate music. Loud jazz piano while strolling through the woods? Awful. But I will forgive that because while none of these movies are realistic, this at least is plausible and sweet. I enjoyed the story and the leads' acting. Unlike some real life Hallmark couples, this married acting duo manage to connect and portray actual emotions. No cheesy embarrassing declarations here. Good job.

Christmas Town (2019 TV Movie)

Oh the plot holes

[2/10 · 13 July 2020]

Just watching this as part of Christmas in July. I agree with everyone about the plot holes and goofs - the cat, the angel, the adoption, etc. As for the giant house our hero lives in, that's Hallmark for you. All the lower middle class characters live in $1M+ homes they couldn't possibly afford. The exteriors of this one, pretty sure it's the house that was used as the B&B for Cedar Cove; very large and pricey.

I concur with Frances' comment on Candace. She should stick to producing now, or at the very least stop playing the ingenue. There are much younger Hallmark ladies who play more mature characters in their movies. What age is she supposed to be in this? She's old enough to have been teaching for at least 20yrs, but she doesn't have a permanent position? Is this a 2nd career maybe? That would make more sense for the overall story. And there's only a 6yr age gap between her and the "retiree". Did Gloria start teaching as a teenager, she's still too young for early retirement. And no, she couldn't retire overnight, even if she had fallen ill there would be a ton of paperwork and time involved.

Here's hoping that this upcoming Christmas we see Candace in a more age appropriate role, with less story and production goofs.

Write Before Christmas (2019 TV Movie)

Different from the usual

[12 July 2020]

This movie was a fun diversion from the usual Hallmark formula, kudos. Though it did somehow manage to squeeze in several tropes - dumping someone on a holiday, coincidental meetings, widows and orphans, and the big misunderstanding.

What I don't understand is why Torrey couldn't have fake played the cello more convincingly, especially in the store scenes. She's a violinist, I would expect her to be able to move the bow properly. It's not like they have to actually record the sound. Shame on the directors and producers. When you have an actual musician go ahead and use their talent.

A Gingerbread Romance (2018 TV Movie)

Not very good

[10 July 2020]

I agree with most of the reviews here, this is just not very good. It wasnt well made either, one of the big goofs I noticed is when they are unpacking the truck. He's lifting the bags of "flour" as if they weigh 100lbs, overacting, while she touches one bag with her hand and up it goes like a pillow. Then she lifts a bucket of "honey" up high like it weighs nothing - because clearly it's an empty bucket. How did they let this get by during filming, or at least in editing? I am sure there's more but I stopped paying attention.

Another reviewer commented on her horrible hats, lol. I think Tia likes wearing berets, I've seen her in them other movies.

Good Witch: Good Witch Halloween (2015) Season 2, Episode 0

Its actually deer

[15 June 2020]

Two of them bolting around the grounds near 'Sam's house'. Just saw this episode again today. LOL. I assume they got scared off by production people.

Love in Winterland (2020 TV Movie)

Boring

[7 June 2020]

Rate it less than zero. This movie was just plain boring. And I agree with other reviewers that say her very heavy postpartum appearance was distracting. I kept waiting for her to go into labour. This is not about being against pregnant women and new mothers, give me a break! We're not talking about an office job here, these actresses aren't hard up for money. These are 'romantic' fantasy movies where the leads are chaste single ladies, definitely not supposed to look pregnant. In the movie she's a contestant on a dating show for haven's sake!! They do a good job of covering up when they are only few months pregnant (like she was in Love In Rome), but this was ridiculous. And I've seen the casting calls for extras on these movies up here - attractive, athletic, well dressed, etc. So everyone has to be fit and good looking, except the lead?? How equitable of you Hallmark. They take care of their stable of actresses, and have pushed productions for whatever reasons, so they couldn't have done so for this one? No. It doesn't matter in the end, this one isn't worth your time.

When Calls the Heart (2014– )

What is this show?

[1/10 · 28 May 2020]

A show about the cleanest ever American frontier town, with Mounties in it? Really? This show has gone so far past the source material. All they ever mention are American cities or American history - clearly the characters are supposed to be American. But they have Mounties. Interesting. And where is this fictional Hamilton supposed to be? Certainly not Hamilton Ontario. If you're going to change everything but some character names, why bother referencing Janette Oke's novel? Just make your series with a different name for your American audience with no Mounties. Geez.

I won't even discuss the anachronistic hair and make up on the ladies, since every one else has mentioned that too. But now they are giving the men spray on shoe polish hair, they look ridiculous. Do they not have proper stylists? Just cannot watch this.

Good Witch: Curse from a Rose (2019) Season 6, Episode 0

Small town?

[18 April 2020]

Middleton has a population of only 3000+, really? Has Hallmark ever been to town that size? They are quite tiny, and don't have all the amenities and affluent people that we see in Good Witch. Pretty amazing city hall and downtown for less than 4000 people! It's more like a town of 15,000+.

I really miss the movies, the series is just like a string of non-sensical stories and endless town mysteries. Leave the magic and mystery to Cassie, and try to keep the setting at least grounded in reality.

Transplant (2020–2024)

So much hype

[16 April 2020]

I enjoy this show but it's not deserving of all the hype and praise. It's far above dreck like Global's latest offering, Nurses, but it's not ground breaking either. Was supposed to be an examination of a foreign doctor's struggle to work in Canada, but within the first few episodes it just devolved into another melodrama with more focus on personal relationships - and they're not even interesting. Wish they would focus on the medicine and be more realistic. Makes it look like the 5 doctors do all the work and spend all their time with the patients (at least Nurses got that part right). And where are the med students and interns? Yet another unrealistic portrayal of how residents train and work, and how different depts in a hospital interact.

Timeless Love (2019 TV Movie)

Yet another

[1/10 · 8 April 2020]

Low budget, poorly made film from the same Utah directors/producers. Just stop. You are not Hallmark, which is saying alot since the bar there isn't very high. And it's the exact same non-stop overbearing music in every one of these. Maybe they think it will distract us from the poor story, acting, directing, photography, lighting...well, just everything.

I give this a 1 since they used real locations, the last one I saw that was made by this crew had horrific cardboard high school musical sets. How embarrassing for the actors. Too bad, there is so much beautiful scenery there to be used, but this production group is just way below amateur for it to matter.

Poldark (2015–2019)

Garrick...world's oldest dog

[1/10 · 20 January 2020]

How is it that no one on this show ages except Geoffrey Charles? He is strangely portrayed as a young man now, but Garrick the dog, who was around before him, still looks like a pup? I'm confused. How much time has passed on this show? What am I watching here?

This season was awful, for all the reasons already pointed out by other reviewers. This is what the writers came up with on their own, an incoherent mess. So disappointing. Just skip it and rewatch previous seasons.

Nancy Drew: The Mark of the Poisoner's Pearl (2020) Season 1, Episode 10

Why

[17 January 2020]

If Ace's dad lost his hearing, on the job, as an older adult, why does he act and speak as someone who's been deaf most or all their life? Makes no sense. They cast a deaf actor and then tweak the story to make it fit? Except...it doesn't.

Better mystery story for this one, but still misses the mark.

Party of Five (2020)

Ugh

[1/10 · 17 January 2020]

Ditto to what the other reviewers have said regarding how awful this show is. On top of all that awfulness, I was constantly distracted by the very obvious accent the actress portraying the twin sister has. 'Wait, she has an accent - but the other kids don't. The parents have different accents. I'm confused.' And the little sister is even more annoying than Lacy Chabert was on the original, if that's possible. Poor story, bad casting and unlikable characters. Ulch.

Always and Forever Christmas (2019 TV Movie)

Just bad

[3/10 · 5 January 2020]

I usually give points for filming winter scenes in actual wintery locations, but this is the second one this year filmed in Winnipeg...but not in winter. WHY bother? At least they looked bundled up against the fake snow in this one.

I love Beth Broderick and Mark Ghanime, but not in this one. Boring? Slow? Stupid? Not sure. As another reviewer noted, not sure what I was watching here. And Lexi Lawson is on Broadway? Really? Then she needs to take an "acting for the camera" course. The few (and odd) rave reviews on here must from people who know her. I agree with majority of reviewers who found her to be amateurish.

Both the director and casting director need a kick in the head for this mess. They cast for diversity, but hire an actress who can't act, and then this is the worst, give the lead guy a redhead white guy for a brother. Were they adopted? Did I miss that part?

I would say don't waste your time, but it's not likely this one will get a repeat showing.

Four Christmases and a Wedding (2017 TV Movie)

Damn those cookies are hard!

[3/10 · 1 January 2020]

Other reviewers noted the silly things about this movie - the Tardis apartment, Smurf size skating rink, child that never aged, etc. Also the cookie crunching. I want to know, besides biscotti, what the hell kind of cookies reqiure that much crunching? She looked like she was eating carrots, or maybe a granola bar. Sooo annoying. If you can't eat real cookies for the movie for the sake of your figure, don't bother. It doesn't add anything to the story to see a super skinny actress supposedly stuffing her face all the time.

The Mistletoe Secret (2019 TV Movie)

The Holly berry secret?

[7/10 · 31 December 2019]

Not sure why there are so many hateful reviews on this one. I am not a fan, but Kellie Pickler is no worse an actress than the Hallmark favorites/former child stars who can't act. I don't see anyone on here pleading to not see their insane, big teeth smiles again. HINT: smiling all the time like an insane person is not acting!

I actually enjoyed this one, and am rating it in comparison to recent Hallmark disasters, er, I mean Christmas movies. There were some different plotlines than the usual and I especially liked the Tyler and Christopher duo in this. My biggest beef is, as many have pointed out, the use of holly rather than mistletoe. Wow, huge mistake Hallmark.

A Cheerful Christmas (2019 TV Movie)

Wow

[29 December 2019]

I am starting to wish Hallmark would not come to Ontario to film any Christmas movies. They just keep getting worse. Why is that? You save your absolute, most stupid stories for filming here? I would blame the cold temps for freezing the directors, actors and producers brains - but this is just crap writing and directing from the get go. Who approves these productions? I feel sorry for the actors, truly. It would be more enjoyable to just watch the winter scenery than to have to suffer through this horrid excuse of a movie. Enjoy the long view of the Rideau Canal, nothing else here worth watching.

Christmas at Grand Valley (2018 TV Movie)

Yes, boring...and stupid

[2/10 · 27 December 2019]

As with other movies, I give this one two points for actually filming a winter story in a wintery location (though I don't believe it was wintertime during filming - no one cleared the snow off the sidewalk, but the street was clean?). I agree with the other reviewers who called this one boring. I just saw it over Christmas and was very disappointed, considering the two leads.

I did get one big laugh out if it - when the art agent is gushing over the amateurish, Christmas card-like paintings. LOL. No one would show these at an upscale city gallery. These are something you might be able to sell online or at a craft market; I know as an artist myself. Get it together Hallmark. Your movies are supposed to be fluffy, not boring and just plain stupid.

Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen (2019 TV Movie)

Just bad

[1/10 · 27 December 2019]

As several reviewers have noted, Krakow is the worst part of this poor quality movie. Why Hallmark continues to put her giant head with Stepford style perma-smile at the center of these productions is incomprehensible. She cannot act! Kimberley Sustad deserves better.

As for Macfarlane, love him, but why do he and other gay actors continue to work for a network/company that specifically doesn't acknowledge their existence? I understand the need for work, go for it, you're an actor, you can play whoever you want. But come on, Hallmark just banned ads from the channel because it featured a gay kiss. You're welcome to work here, as long as you pretend to be what you are not. Nice greeting card Hallmark!

Time for Me to Come Home for Christmas (2018 TV Movie)

Accents please

[7/10 · 23 December 2019]

How does Hallmark manage to consistently produce a bunch of movies where only one character, in a family, has an accent? Could the Lee character NOT have had an accent in this? And the lip synching- blame the director and editors for that, it's not as if Henderson doesn't sing.

Besides all that, it's a fairly low key, nice sentiments Christmas movie. No overacting, over gesturing, looks like they're stoned-on-Christmas-candy female leads here, so thank you for that Hallmark!

Christmas with a View (2018 TV Movie)

Its Chef Sharl again

[5/10 · 11 December 2019]

As another reviewer noted, this is the second Netflix movie with the character Sharl in it. I wonder if this will become a running gag, like Kenny Kwon in all the Hallmark movies.