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philworthington
Reviews
Best in Snow (2022)
Just weird
If this was just a straight show about snow carving this could have been interesting, but it's just a mess!
Good points:
The carvings are nice.
Bad points:
The 'mayor' is incredibly annoying and weird, unfunny, and sort of putting on an accent - but really only when he says the word 'competition.' Maybe the guy playing the character is well-known in America, but from this performance I wouldn't be in a rush to see his other work.
The teams themselves aren't expert snow carvers, so they're really just following instructions from the real experts they have there to help them. The experts also blatantly decided the designs well in advance, so it's less of a team competition and more of a 'snow by numbers' deal.
The show spends most of the screen time on things that are not snow carving. Interviewing the teams is a good 50% of the show, and then you have the judges chatting and saying basically nothing.
One of the two judges seems to basically be there because he used to be the president's chef (and ice carved in his spare time). I guess by that token I am fully qualified to judge because I also work in a totally unrelated field, but I occasionally build snowmen.
Plus there are other random elements that add nothing to the show, such as an animated portion that I guess is supposed to hearken back to the Rankin Bass animations? Those shows are basically unknown outside of the US, so that falls flat for me too, but it also just wasted screen time.
Kermit also felt like a waste of screen time, although I do love Kermit usually he was just anothe distraction. Plus they also didn't bother getting the regular Kermit voice, so he didn't even sound right.
Overall it feels like the producers just threw in everything they could think of that might signify 'Christmas' (to an American audience at least.) It was trite, over-produced, fake and annoying - but the sculptures themselves were fine.
Baking All the Way (2022)
Age mismatch makes romance flat
I usually love this kind of formulaic movie and watch them in a knowing but uncritical way, but I found it really hard to get past the director casting himself as the romantic lead opposite a woman 16 years younger. His heavy makeup doesn't help make it less weird, I just kept staring at his eyeliner.
I think if he'd cast someone 15 years older as his opposite it would have been a more convincing romance, and she would have been a more convincing character. We're supposed to believe she's a well-known and experienced pastry chef, so it would have fitted the character well to be a bit older.
Anyway, aside from the leads being casting missteps it's ok, the rest of the cast are fine and I've had a soft spot for Colin Mochrie ever since 'Who's Line is it Anyway?' so it was nice to see him.
It's pretty much what you signed up for in terms of plot. The cranky person is cranky, the little child is cute, the comic relief is comic - the formula does it's job. The drama features particularly low stakes, but it's still friendly and warm and has lots of bells in the music, garland in the decorations, and a scene where people make gingerbread.
And of course there's a cute little snowy town, but I've noticed that all the Hallmark Christmas movies seems to be using the same unconvincing snow special effect this year - I guess they want to get the most out of the plugin they bought for After Effects!
Holiday Miracle (2014)
Awful
This is possibly the worst Christmas movie I've ever seen. It has all the qualities of a hastily written school play, but without the charm.
Really, really bad.
A Star Is Born (2018)
Two hours of dreary mumbling
My wife and I bought this on Blu-ray to watch on Valentine's day, as we'd both heard great reviews. What a waste of an evening! I wasn't expecting frothy romance, and I enjoy a good drama, but this really, really dragged.
While it was really well acted, everything about the movie screamed (or rather mumbled) downbeat. Possibly it was to show how mundane even stardom can be, it's obviously artistic intent, but wow it was a slog.
The whole film just felt empty, with two hopeless empty people mumbling their way through a dreary world, on their slow descent into unfulfilled sadness. If the movie resonates with you I feel really sorry for you.
If your evenings are filled with drinking and self-loathing, futilely trying to fill the void that you perceive life to be, this film is for you. If you, like me, live in a world of colour, beauty and joy - with meaningful relationships, and a sense of purpose and fulfilment, none of those qualities were represented on the screen here.
The good:
- The acting was good
- The chemistry between the actors is believable
- The songs were fine
The bad:
- The whole thing is dreary and downbeat
- So much of the speech is mumbled I actually checked my speakers as I thought it must be a fault
- It's paced like a snail on Prozac. Two hours felt like ten
- The bad language in the film is OTT, to the point where some 'conversations' are basically swearing with a few words thrown in for colour
Apparently my review is too short, so I guess I'll give my impression of what it's like to watch this movie:
Bradley Cooper can sing! Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Lady Gaga can act! Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. More swearing. Lots of swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. A song! Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. How long is left? We're only 30 minutes in?! Nooooo! Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Still an hour left? Really?!? Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Sad, empty, dreary, mumble, swearing. Death.
Aquaman (2018)
Cheesy, obvious, stupid, fun
Here's the short version: If I were still a 14 year old boy I would think this was great, but I'm not, so I don't. But it was still fun in a B-movie kind of way.
Bad points:
1) It telegraphs every plot point, the love interest is obvious, the mother returning is obvious, the victory is obvious. There are no plot surprises in this movie, unless you have never seen a movie before.
2) The plot holes are gaping wide. The Sahara desert sequence is a prime example: two primarily underwater creatures strand themselves in the middle of the world's biggest desert with no water, and no transport.. and then instantly appear in Sicily with no explanation.
Yes, it's really that bad.
3) The dialogue is awful.
4) It suffers from too many villains. The Black Manta would have better saved for a sequel, he is just an annoying distraction here.
5) It relies a bit too heavily on CGI, which just emphasises the 'teen boy fantasy' vibe (although I suppose that's fair if it's the target audience.)
Good points:
1) It's fun as a popcorn movie.
2) Jason Momoa is fun as Aquaman, in the few moments he's allowed to have any character development he really shines.
3) The final battle is unexpectedly great.
It's a harmless way to kill a couple of hours, but I suspect it's best watched at home where you can laugh at the bad script with your friends, talk about the crazy plot holes (do Atlatean women always have a change of clothes with them at all times?), and fast-forward the Sahara bit. Not really worth paying to see at the cinema, aside from the end battle.
Who's Harry Crumb? (1989)
Turgid dross
John Candy is hilarious with the right script and director, sadly this film has neither. Avoid it if you enjoy John Candy, as it taints his memory.
This film is obvious, broad, stupid and assumes its audience has the humour and intelligence of an 8 year old. If that's you, you may enjoy this movie, although really your hour and a half would be more productively spent learning the definition of the word 'turgid.'
Avoid this at all costs. I've already spent too many words on this, but IMDb has a minimum word limit.
Offal.
Dross.
Garbage.
Predestination (2014)
Not as clever as I'd hoped
I have listed spoilers, so I am assuming you have seen this movie. If you haven't, please watch it, it is worth it on streaming services (although I would have felt cheated paying for it.)
So, to be clear, I enjoyed it. However, I felt let down by the 'big twist' ending that was telegraphed really early on. Certainly by the point John/Jane meets himself on the park bench it was clear they were all the same person, including the baby and the bomber. The heavy handed way the movie hid faces made it obvious that something like this was going to happen, especially if you have seen or read any other time travel story before.
That said, I still enjoyed it up until the last scenes, when they showed the 'reveal.' I thought the movie was going to take it up another level: maybe Robertson is also John/Jane? Maybe the bombing is to prevent a greater tragedy? Maybe John/Jane is destined to invent time travel? Any or all of those would have been interesting endings, or something else entirely, but instead the movie spells out in painful detail the twist it had already revealed at least 30 minutes earlier!
My heart sank, was this really it? No great twist at the end? I was really shocked. Such a waste of potential for an otherwise classy and engaging movie? Disappointed beyond belief, I felt as heartbroken as Jane on that bench. I really thought it was going somewhere until suddenly it wasn't.