angiris Reviews

Napoleon (2023)

McNapoleon: An incoherrect, unauthentic and absurd hitpiece by an arrogant drunk.

[1/10 · 3 December 2023]

I'll keep this simple as I feel like throwing up after having seeing this disaster of a " historical epic" . Ill focus on the battles and realism / authenticity there. Everyone else have already magnified how much it wastes time with boring drama and Josefine.

Nr 1: Zero proper emphasis on battles. In a film called Napoleon. Already a waste of money from that fact alone. False advertising.

Nr 2: Cringe worthy.... depiction of Waterloo. If you've seen the Waterloo from 1970... you will pull out your hair at sheer frustration when you see what they've done here. Let alone the basic depictions of the battle in Egypt and Austerlitz. It's indescribably embarassing... and you feel it, knowing the historical facts.

There isn't a single historically accurate thing about any.... of these battles. It's mindboggling.

Nr 3: Sniper rifle scopes on Baker rifles . X__X . Portrayed as being able to take a clean shot at well over a kilometer. Let alone Napoleons tent... being within a kilometer. More like 600 meters. This is grotesquely .... idiotic and completely absurd. Nobody on this bothered to remotely give a single damn about accurate military tactics and knowledge of Napoleonic weaponry.

4: Napoleon charges the front line.... and engages in what is well zoomed out to appear as the most cringeworthy McDonalds LARP experience ever. There are so.... few troops on the map. All in thin lines, completely detached from any proper support or logic of battle line formations. With a budget of multimillions... you couldn't bother even hiring enough extras?

You dont even see light infantry, Voltiguer or Chasseur support during the advance or at any point. And the cavalry charge rushes up in front of the infantry advance at Waterloo ..... engaging in a pointless failed charge at like 200 meters just to run in circles for eons. Rendering musket fire now an impossibility lest you wish friendly fire. Same idiotic part happened in the Austerlits battle. This is not... what actually happened. You're making a mockery of history. Everything is made to look completely stupid in a state that concern life and death.

This is Game of Thrones Season 8.... level of CRINGE portrayal of so called " Warfare / War strategy"

Save yourself your precious time.... and your money. And go kick back with the 1970 movie instead. Dont be fooled by the year and suspect it doesn't hold up. It's an extremely well made military epic that holds up because contrary to this McDonalds experience Ridley wants you to charge bloody 20 dollars for just to spit in your face, the 1970 film went above and beyond to show you the most spectacular portrayal of Napoleonic mass warfare to date, utilizing thousands of extras in superb uniforms with practical effects and attention to detail all around. And most importantly.... trying to be as historically accurate as possible.

Something we'll never see again alike what Peter Jackson did with Lord of the Rings.

You'll have to be out of your senses if you wanna sit for 4 hours on the streaming platform and watch this again with another 90 minutes of THIS QUALITY.... of historical filmmaking. NO THANKS.

This isn't Kingdom of Heaven, people. This isnt the same Ridley Scott as back then. This is the Alien: Covenant Ridley.

Now I'll go watch Rod Steiger portray a strong proud emperor with flaws, love in his heart and ultimately meeting his end in a spectacular battle he almost won... and let that burn out the memory of this cringeworthy incorrect display of not just Napoleon, but also of military warfare 200 years ago in general.

Everyone who saw this without existing knowledge of Napoleonic warfare... is now massively dumber because of you, Ridley.

Great contribution to more of this Mcdonalds era of filmmaking.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part III (2022) Season 1, Episode 3

Who cares if Vaders suit is fireproof. Clown writing.

[1/10 · 24 June 2022]

So this review was taken down for some reason. Here we go again.

I'm gonna put as much effort into this review as the "heroes" of Star Wars put into this episode. Well, maybe a little more since we might as well make this travesty fun.

The episode basically goes like this... "Ohhh, hello Obi Wan. Vader here, I found you after 10 years! Lets duel! Wtf, why are you running away from me! Get over here!! Hah, gotcha! And now I'll drag you through fire! But dont worry though, because you're saved suddenly although I'm actually still able to see you through the little fire barrier on the floor which I could actually walk over easily since my suit is made of FIREPROOF metal like Durasteel amongst other things. "

"But lets scratch that because I want you tell you something. Even though I've been hunting for you for 10 years, angrier than you could ever imagine for ruining my life, plus that I blame you for Padme and everything, I'm just going to watch you as you get saved by a droid... that I can clearly see and manipulate with the force.

I could do the following list of things. Lets begin!:

1: I could force choke you

2: I could drag you into the fire AGAIN for round 2 using force Pull

3: I could jump over the fire and kill you RIGHT NOW for ruining my entire life and mutilating my body leaving me with this steel cage that I HATE SO MUCH.

4: I could force pull you to me through the flames and capture or kill you,

5: I could use force push and extinguish the fire just like that and send my troops to get you as the ORIGINAL PLAN WAS before that little explosion. The force is cool, aint it.

6: I could lift the droid and use it as a weapon and then crush you with it like Dooku tried to do to both of us in Episode 5 Remember that? Good times, aye, pal! I lost my arm that day and I blame you for that too !"

BUT GUESS WHAT, OBI-WAN... I'm just gonna walk away and let you get away..... after I've spent 10 years looking for you and my every living second is fueled by the anger, hatred and ever-living wrath for getting my revenge for what you have done to me.

NEVERMIND ALL THAT. I'm just gonna walk away....

Catch you next time.... cuz you know what, I got time! I got YEARS... years to continue my agonizing existence and grow ever more furious and impatient and murder my underdogs and servants for failing to capture you even though i'm literally within 5 meters of you right now!

I'm just gonna go.... And breathe... really hard.... whilst staring at you being saved.... "

The End -

And here's a message for the fanbois that'll read this and go like " bUt vAdEr wAntEd tO wIn a FaiR FiGht." Just stop.... it doesn't fit into the decades long worth of established Vader lore. And not even episode 4 5 and 6 that followed. Its embarassing how they disregard their own context.

He is anger incarnate and hates his entire existence because he's lost everything EXCEPT the chance to kill his former master. If you think for a second... he'll give up that chance in pursuit of some vain fair fight or glory, you're dead wrong and dont understand the character at all.

This episode, no this show is filled with B level writing resulting in them writing themselves into a corner and thus having to conclude on this ending to make the show go forward.

Its a classic error when you dont have a bloody plan or make stuff up as you go. Which LucasFilms hires have been notorious for doing evver since the beginning of the sequels.

3 episodes left and then we can put this embarassment to sleep alongside Book of Bob and his Bacta Tank.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part VI (2022) Season 1, Episode 6

Ladies & Gentlemen, this is what we call the " A Star Wars Story" formula

[2/10 · 22 June 2022]

Slow, tedious, non-sensical, character ruining, focus shifting, flip-flopping and bait & switch introducing mess with tons of Fan-service.

It's just as you'd expect. Big grand finale that feels so unearned. Meh music, too darkly shot, with fan-service moments of dialog that makes you go " Hey! Luke said that too! Omg its Qui-Gon! Omg he said hello there!"*

It's all wholly unearned after the crapshow of a narrative and seasonal build they've put us through. So much so that some insider leaked the whole thing months ago because that person too believed it was crap.

I grew up with the OG as well as the prequels and I love them too bits. Seeing Qui-gon warms my heart, seeing Obi Wan acting like Obi Wan is amazing.

But with the flashes of emotional allure put aside, the overall experience of this show has been subpar, annoying, politically driven and anti-fan from the media regarding Reva.

This episode gets 2 stars simply because of 2 things. It's finally over, it was nice seeing Liam Neeson.

I am not granting it any remote stars for the LACK OF CREATIVITY in the duel itself. They ripped off SWTOR's intro cinematics made by Bioware years ago with the rock-throwing.

They ripped off Transformers Megatron vs Optimus Prime dialog with losing because of weakness. Seriously....

And they ripped off Rebels too with the cut Darth Vader mask and dialog that Ahsoka originally had, not Obi Wan.

It's become a tripe at this point.

Was it original, was it done without the tedious annoying build up, bait and switch focus on Reva and lots of other annoying silly things, this show couldve been truly amazing and worth a prequel fans time.

I can see the potential of a wonderful show in this, of a true focused formula around Vader and Obi Wan. And how earned, How fan-service tolerable it could've all been, How many memes and wonderful throwbacks it could've tossed at us and we would've all embraced it.

But because of these corporate checklists, and silly side plots, STUPID decisions and non-sensical lore twists like Reva freaking surviving being impaled by 2 lightsabers in her stomach on a desolate planet without any means of escape ... -_-

"sigh" the list just goes on.

What a waste of a good story. What a waste of amazing potential and superb actors everyone have wanted to see more of for years.

This wasn't the way I had hoped to see it. But that's what you get from Woke corporate Disney and LucasFilm without George.

I wont be rewatching this.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part IV (2022) Season 1, Episode 4

What will the fanbois say this time? Vader is an IDIOT

[1/10 · 8 June 2022]

Darth Vader: " YOU FAILED ME! DIE !!!" - Force chokes reva

Reva: " I put a tracker on dem dudes!"*

Vader: " YOU IMPRESS ME!!!"

-_- Whoever wrote this tripe deserves to be blacklisted from Hollywood henceforth. This is embarassingly awful.

The context is utterly disregarded. Vader is FURIOUS at Reva and almost kills her... but plot armor and wokeism aside, naturally the writers demonstrate their incompetence by disregarding AND HILARIOUSLY DESTROYING.... all the fanbois arguments since last week. I LOVE IT... and I hate it.

If Vader was truly so hellbent on a long drawn out, and psychological vengeance hunt for Obi.... then why is he so mad here?

Why not take some responsibility and just accept that he was a total dumbo and could've killed Obi Wan in 10000 different ways the other night as I mentioned in my previous review.

But all this is naturally redundant and more of a fan-rant because this is just crap writing, made by freaking nihilists who couldn't care less about their work. It's absolutely embarassing to see how LITTLE SENSE.... this show continues to make. Nobody is consistent.

Reva remains to be awful. Cringe fight and run scenes, completley anti-climactic. Like bad fan-fiction.

But Vader is the WORST. He's so stupid, so inconsistent, so laughably irresponsible and INCAPABLE of 3-dimensional thought.

But this is naturally because this IS NOT Darth Vader. THis is Disney's Vader, NOT Lucas'.

This will never be Star Wars. Not in a million years regardless of how many franchise fanbois will weep for their beloved product.

The story is not Star Wars... and real fans know that.

Vader's behavior in Rogue One was ridiculous, but this is next level of cringe and lack of logic.

The Northman (2022)

I let out an audible " DAMNIT, THAT WAS GOOD!" once it ended.

[10/10 · 29 April 2022]

And to hell with the journos and far left political activists on twitter calling fans of this film right wing for liking a film that is AUTHENTIC IN ITS CAST and isnt featuring diversity and historical accuracy tarnishing elements.

Its 1200 years ago in Scandinavia. You people are ridiculous and I am so happy to see a film that is just a damn good, pure, cinematic masterpiece in its core.

The film here HAS to be experienced in the cinema. I cannot count the amount of times I've written how I dont want to pay for cinema films anymore because of political messages or bad writing.

THIS... is the absolute exception. What an absolute joy and above all, an auditory experience that will have you grinding your teeth of sheer adrenaline and emotional trembling when you hear this PRISTINE soundtrack in unison with a great sound system and surround sound.

No matter what you hear on youtube... it will not REMOTELY compare to actually sitting there and listening to it. You'll want to get up and just rip out your seat and throw it across the room once the action starts and those war drums go ballistic.

10 out of 10. Something I hardly ever rate in a serious fashion but this is so well made, shot, and the ending is such an amazing nod to the climax of a vikings greatest accomplishment.

Its poetic... and will blow your mind. Thank you to everone involved with this. What an absolute joy to watch and it was worth every penny unlike a lot of other stuff coming out recently.

Star Trek: Picard (2020–2023)

Murder, murder, crying, batttle, murder, no logic, no star trek.

[1/10 · 5 April 2022]

Welcome to Hell.

Brought to you by the same hacks whore behind Star Trek discovery and keep making it worse because they hate all Star Trek and dont understand it and thus do whatever the hell they want.

Lense flare x 1000 Murder murder and MORE murder.

Q has apparently grown so old he doesnt care about history anymore or simply forgot all the times Picard fought for peace, took non violent action, refused to kill, refused to adhere to outdated barbaric belief and course of approach.

Nah. War and death and chaos. This is who Picard is.

I hope the paycheck was worth it for John de Lancie to return and sellhis soul only to portray such a ridiculous parody of himself. It was so refreshing to see him in Star Trek Continues with such wonderful writing and adherence to Roddenberry's original.

And alas the longer things go on, the greater the chance of it ruining itself.

As per discovery you can expect no intellectual approach, no interesting dialog, no diplomatic approaches, just WAR, HELL, DEATH, DISINTEGRATION! Oh and lense flare.... a lot of it. JJ Abrams acolytes just can't help themselves.

Another season has come, and its still not and never will be Star Trek. And anyone who claims it is and believes Roddenberry's vision lives on in the hands of these vandals that call themselves "writers" I have news for you.

You're not a Star Trek Fan. You're an action fan, you're a Pew Pew Flashy Flashy fan. And thats all fine.

But you're not a Star Trek Fan. And we have almost 5 decades worth of content to demonstrably prove that, overseen by Roddenberry himself, let alone those who cared.

Dear IMDB, can you let us vote 0 stars in the future? Even 1 implies there was something good about this and my headache would disagree with you on that.

The Book of Boba Fett: Chapter 3: The Streets of Mos Espa (2022) Season 1, Episode 3

More crap.

[2/10 · 12 January 2022]

Boba gets his butt kicked again and spends 1 / 3 of the episode iN MORE BACTA..... it's all he does this series. Just jucing up on that sweet bacta.

Then pardons the wookie after almost dying as it tries to murder him Saves a bunch of Gen Z edgy anarchist kids on colorful bikes that ride 30 miles an hour...... X_X

Ohh and Danny Trejo appears toow ith a Rancor. Thats 1 point. The rest was complete crap.

What am embarassment this show is. And the episode was 34 minutes long before credits...... what the hell lol. You got like 7 episodes total and you're cranking out 30 minute episodes.

YOU FILMED FOR 6 MONTHS.... what did you do there? Sat around with your fingers up your butts??? WHere did the money go ?! The production that people praise wasnt even good. Those bikes were embarassingly bad!

And why is Boba trying to save everyone??

Get outta here with this tripe.

Dexter: New Blood: Sins of the Father (2022) Season 1, Episode 10

They did it again. Inconsistent, hypocritical, flipflopping narrative. Pathetic

[1/10 · 10 January 2022]

Makes no sense.

Just a bait and siwtch, Harrison sucks and Dexter goes out like a total wimp.

Making a letter about love and wishing for the best DOES NOT add up to the bloody build up context of harrison literally participating in the killings, approving on them, being literally saved from a serial killer, being GJILTY of framing an innocent kid as a terrortist school shooter and taking ZERO BLAME or responsiblity.

... only to have second thoughgts and go back on his word, order his dad at gun point to surrender and get the DEATH PENTALITY!?

He literally says to his face" maybe you deserve to die" .... after ALL DEXTER DID FOR HIM. Just because one guy died who got in the way and harrison couldnt take it.

What an utterly dislikable ungrateful wimp of a kid. Backstabbing little brat.

And Dexter is just like " Atta boi!"

1 out of 10. Complete tripe after such a nice ride and expectations riding high. I preffered the depressed lumberjack to this.... unbelivable.

Dexter: New Blood (2021–2022)

"Sometimes i wish the hurricane had taken me" Yeah... me too. Christ...

[4/10 · 10 January 2022]

Another crap ending.

The show was getting really damn good and then they end it like crap once again.

The letter about his love for his sons "normal" and happy life doesn't save it. It's just the writers who cant decide what path to take Dexter in.

Lest we forget all the actual IMPORTAT THINGS like him stopping Kurt. 20 years of serial killings. And that useless cop lady would have never found jack without Dexter, let alone managed to stop him if Dexter hadnt taken him out.

It's the same old issue as with the original series and only the bloody audience manages to cheer him on whilst everyone in the show appears utterly unrelatable and disconnected from reality.

And then he dies... shot by the son he SAVED from being murdered... What an absolutely ungrateful little brat of a kid.

But I get it, it's the writers who're bamboozled by their very own story and cant stick to a bloody storyline.

We didnt even get to see Batista return properly.

It's extremely meh and I'm giving it a 6 for the fun I had up to the last few minutes of the show where Harrison turns into a huge wuss and crybaby, then gunning down his father after having been saved from certain death.

All that bonding over their dark passenger and staying to the code " NOT BEING CAUGHT" and comitting to sacrifices for one another.

Harrison IS THE BIGGEST HYPOCRITE.... blaming him enjoying what he did, and framing an innocent kid as a school shooter on his anger at his dad.

Give me a damn break. If it had been a bit of bullying maybe, but Harrison went way beyond that and now plays the victim.

I ain't buying that, at all. It's crap writing.

And even as I write this I'm actually deciding I'm ducking it to a 4 because it's just plain bad writing. Maybe Hall wanted out. I dont know, but I'll return to my headline point which is a quote from Dexter himself in the letter he wrote to hannah.

"Sometimes I wish the hurricane had taken me"

yeah, if only he had died there after Debs death. Because over the past decade and 2 crap endings now, that would've been the only remotely acceptable end to his character.

New blood, but same old crappy fingerprints all over this ending.

Was fun while it lasted, but I'm tired of this flipflopping narrative and seemingly out of nowhere moments of realization.

"Ohh you killed the coach who was innocent! You're bad now, you have to turn yourself in and take the death penalty!"

Says the kid who FRAMED A GUY AS A TERRORIST SCHOOL SHOOTER. And murdered a serial killer and had ZERO QUARRELS COVERING IT UP.- As well as going along killing EVEN MORE PEOPLE..

All until.... someone dies that he doesn't agree with. The ULTIMATE hypocricy. What a weak, useless and inconsistent character.

4 out of 10. I'll be rewatching the former seasons. I'll take bloody lumberjack fade to black over this...

The Book of Boba Fett (2021–2022)

Ninjas, cowboys, SAND, MORE SAND, and boba doesnt use his jetpack.

[4/10 · 29 December 2021]

Boring A F first episode. Just more sand, lifelessness, still no fat gammoreans like the good ol days, and for some reason the creative bankcruptcy of these HAILED HEROES OF STAR WARS!!!... jesus christ ...

... results in the presence of Ninjas... IN STAR WARS.... And some lame action fight with electrorods. And for some reason Boba doesn't just use his jetpack and put on his helmet for protection. Its better to use that to carry money around like some buffoon and get beaten up by generic thugs.

The worst part is probably that there are only 7 episodes of this crap they took over 6 months to film.

More boring cowboy western without a cute green baby to keep the show together because of how generic and safe it is.

Disney's star wars is so boring. So absolutely uncreative and simplistic and monotenous. Lucas gaveus epic visuals, living worlds, huge cities and a sense of grand world buolding, political climates, even boring sand worlds came across as INTERESTING because the emphasis was on featuring Jabbas Palaca, or places alike that held intrigue.

But the best Disney's HEROES AND SAVIORS of SW can accomplish is more generic western crap.

The biggest joke of all is probably being a disney + subscriber knowing THIS... is what you're gonna get :D

5 out of 10. Completely average and boring.

Ill be back to duck it a point later once Boba looks over his starship and calls it Firespray and not Slave-1 because its "offensive"

Clown world....

Malignant (I) (2021)

Cinematic excellence from Wan. 80's classic themes with a touch of early 2000's. Crazy and wild.

[8/10 · 10 October 2021]

It's a damn good film. A return to form.

No cheap thrills, but an actual solid mix of gore, action, horror, spookiness, and surprises.

Wonderful metaphors as well.

I'll keep this short and spoiler-free because you should watch this.

Im seeing this getting hate from quite a few but to be fair, too many people have grown accustomed to the modern day crap of cheap jump scares every 30 seconds and think thats horror.

No. Go watch this and enjoy an actual classic horror flick with a villain who's climbing the ranks of the old titans. Something made with the experience of two decades of film making and leting it culminate in some fresh and not familiar scares right in time for Halloween.

Wan delivers, and so does Gabriel.

Go watch it. And dont listen to the reviews slamming it as boring or non-sensical simply because they except to be entertained by La Llorona level trash with the most predictable low effort "booo" every second to feel like they are watching a horror film.

People should spend more time enjoying the classics from the 70's 80's and 90's more to get a better understanding of what horror used to and should be again.

8 out of 10.

The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf (2021)

5 minutes of woke nonsense at the start, but the rest is great.

[7/10 · 23 August 2021]

Skip the first 5-8 minutes of the film. The rest is really great.

I wont spoil any of the good stuff because its worth a watch and enjoyable whilst a bit hard to get into a first since its a very different type of witcher we're seeing yet thats also the point.

At the beginning however we follow 5 out of place characters that ethnically make no sense. Clearly part of the political mandate to include diverse characters.

The thing is that it's coming across as both annoying, insulting and plain hilarious at the exact same time.

Quite inginuous writing if intended.

You got this family that logically can only be from Zerrekania. Why they are here makes no sense and is never explained. Furthermore why the hell would a nobleman travel so damn far... with his ENTIRE family, without any guards and assitance in a monster and bandit filled world.

These are literally your only ethnically diverse characters in the entire film, shoe-horned in because 2021 nonsense. But instead of actually doing anything respectful with them per all this agenda stuff, they just kill them all off, minus a kid who gets side-lined after 5 minutes so he might've as well died too.

It's absolutely hilarious to watch because all except the twitter people are sick and tired of the contemporary IRL stuff impacting our entertainment, and seemingly the netflix writers are as well and just got the mandate check-marked and then proceeded with the real story which was about the witcher universe and not some woke irrelevancy that has no business in our escapism and established universes.

I'll give it a 7 out of 10. Ducking it a point because of the woke stuff, but at the same time maybe I should give it 8 anyway because it made me laugh how totally indifferent they were to the mandate. It's so painfully obvious by now that nobody cares about the politics at all over there. It's all about appeasing the keyboard warriors and silly media.

That said though, it's still a 7, because it's actually racist of Netflix to still push this diversity only to result in acting as a complete meat-shield. Not progressive at all. Just makes people of colour in your entertainment act as tokenistic checkmarks.

Thats not cool at all.

Make another film, give us original zerekkanian witchers and have all the people of color you want. Make it authentic within the lore and make something cool that is respectful to people of color instead of this ridiculous trend.

Its the easiest thing to get natural diversity right.

It's legitimately embarassing and hilarious, Netflix. But thanks for the 1 armed red headed witcher ! Some people hated on him but i thought he was cool tbh.

Superdeep (2020)

Superb Sci-Fi and a breath of fresh air. Russian excellense mixed with The Thing / Doom.

[8/10 · 20 June 2021]

Yeah it's basically a russian version of the Thing with a touch of Predator feel and some fun tropes, whilst ALSO reminding me of the early 2000's Doom Movie especially. Loving it.

But its also its it's own thing. It's intelligent, beleivable, scary and well done in terms of monster design. Practical effects, not that crap we got from The Thing 2 10 years ago.

It's dark, gritty, spooky and very much keeping you on the edge of your deat, whilst also being minimalistic per it's russian style. I'm personally loving it.

The heroine here definitely adds core value to the more contemporary setting of film making and hollywood should take notes of what a strong woman actually looks. This is also why I love Russian Cinema, since it's not infested with politics and tropes to pander to people who dont remotely care about anything but their activism.

This is good, it's simple, it's belivable and most IMPORTANTLY... it has replay-value.

Definitely a good flick to watch during the evening with some popcorn, a burger and fries and enjoy some dark Sci-fi without being exposed to tons of gore or idiotic jumpscares.

It's everything I hoped it would be, being a mega fan of Event Horizon, Alien, The Thing, etc.

It's not all good however. I wish we had gotten more sci-fi. Would've been nice with a more fictional setting. Certain weapons, more research, more tech and hell maybe even putting the whole setting on Mars or somewhere.

Yet this is just personal babble, since I miss more science fiction Space Horror.

Films damn good. 8 out of 10. Has a solid ending, comes full circle and definitely quality above the garbage Hollywood cranks out these days.

Solid entertainment from Russia. A great addition to the sci-fi market.

Will watch again.

Cheers!

Doom Eternal (2020 Video Game)

Ancient Gods Part 1 review - Mediocre. Low effort.

[3/10 · 21 October 2020]

No new guns Slayer gates yield 3 passives Trippled down on platforming Stressful level design Hushult has been told to imitate Gordon instead of being given Carte Blánce when he's absolutely capable of making great unique pieces.

Extremely underwhelming and the story is written as if we're total jackasses. The amount of exposition instead of letting the players put 2 and 2 together gets trivial real fast.

It's just Urdak and Cultist base x jumping times 100.

What ticked me off the most is how freaking tone-deaf Id is to fun.

Once again... we see an absolutely gargantuan titan. It awakens, looks at you. And then it lifts you up to help you. It's such crap. Such absolute garbage.

No proper boss fights at all. Just like Eternal. Doom 2016 is still miles better and beaten only by Eternals gore system. That's freaking it.

All the platforming, stressful level design, low ammo "skill based combat" lol, only to end up with such monotenous gameplay, constant spacebar spam and immersion breaking crap like NOT shooting the biggest demon we've seen to DATE. Just like in Eternal. Demons walking about and we dont get any major ccool super fights. Stuff that Serious Sam did or God of War loved.

Eternal continues to disappoint. Let alone how modding is still a mess.

Save your money. Baseline game was maybe a 6 to a gratuitious 7, but this DLC is garbage. Absolutely not worth the money because zero effort has been put into making it remotely feel like extra new content.

Modders could create this stuff outside of the cinematics. Honestly, Id.

3 out of 10.

Cuties (2020)

It wants to trigger you, but most people dont seem to realize that.

[6/10 · 13 September 2020]

It's fairly simple if you actually watch it and apply critical thought to it at the level of pretty much an 11 year old.

You got strong, polar opposites. Radical islam trying to brainwash young girls into being slaves to men as they take other wives, showing how it destroys them but nonetheless abides by this cultural aspect. Parenting that is lacking, emotionally, psychologically, and a young just bordering teenager girl who hates it and wants something else, and as per textbook, she goes from 1 extreme to another.

This film, while not a masterpiece and quite annoying for me personally since I'm 29 and hardly watch these teen flicks and the music that does my head in, nonetheless manages to capture an important societal element.

A problem, you could argue.

Within social-studies we call this double-socialization. What happens at home and what happens outside. And we see a complete MESS of both here. Polar opposites pushing against eachother and the girl has no idea what she gotta do as she tries to just get one foot down before being steamrolled by nutty grandparents and extremely superficial children who act far older than they actually are.

We see the issue of social media, we see the issue of radical religion, of cultures clashing, of total tone-deafness to the needs and shapening of a young child. How moldable they are, how dangerous it can be to throw so much at them at an early age or restrict them the joy of being young and explorative.

The key word here is "Balance" and it's absolutely nowhere to be found in this film. And I can relate to this film, and I bet many others can to if they look back on their own childhood. How much balance did you have if you were a gamer back in the early 2000s? We were bullied to freaking oblivion. We didn't fit in at home because parents said we'g go blind from looking at the screen or lose friends. Go out and play some soccer, why dont ya!

And outside we'd get mocked for not enjoying sports, have many friends, or merely liking other things because guess what people. Being different, a geek was not a fun life 20 years ago. Hell even 10 years ago and to some extent even today.

So what do you do? You do the best you can and you fall... a lot. And try to get back up. You make a lot of mistakes and hopefully in the end you make it. But it's a rough god damn ride when you're all alone and feel like everything around you is completely over the top and it keeps pushing you. Stimulating you, as is what society does. Ever trying to change you.

And that's what this film captures well. The individual being completely lost in a journey that should be calm but instead ends up chaotic and nobody... understands. At all.

What people take issue with here is not the film or execution, but the specific visual aspects concerning children copying dancers in hip hop and miley cyrus stuff. I can understand that. But honestly, you've been living under a rock if you think this film introduces anything new. You can go to Youtube... and search for this kinda stuff. Young teen cheerleaders, hip hop dancers and ballerinas. And the funny part about this is that this stuff has existed and will continue to exist because nobody really cares until a mass outrage appears.

Just like it did on Youtube about 1-2 years ago when a guy called it ignored child pornography and there were some wormholes into a mass recommended teen ballerina doing splits type content that Youtube shut down within 48 hours after the whole internet lost its mind.

But the thing is it's still there. And many of the videos wont be taken down because of the dillemma I'm about to magnify. How do you differenciate between chiild exploitation and teens just growing up and testing limits?

Some say it's super easy and in drastic examples it totally is. But then what happens when we look at Cuties here? People are freaking out over the camera shots, angles etc. Well thats cinematography of girls replicating professional dancers. The things they do is done daily by many other young girls, cheerleaders, in dance clubs, people watching youtube. It's delusiuonal to think twerking and it's massive explosion on the internet hasn't had an effect on kids. Of course it has.

And that's what people dont get. The shots, the cinematography, it's all meant to shock you. To show you how early these kids get affected. And if you dont like that. GOOD! That's the bloody idea, people.

If you hate the film, by all means. But trying to call it child-explotation or erotica and calling for it to be banned it utterly idiotic because you're trying to HIDE the prioblem that exists ..

LITERALLY EVERYDAY.... EVERYWHERE.

So. How about you take the message seriously, let others judge for themselves and try to keep an eye on your kid, watch them, listen to them and dont try to mess up their minds with radicalism from either super left or super right from a political standpoint.

Because that's exactly what this film captures so eloquently in the first 20 minutes... for crying out loud.,

This film wants to annoy you, trigger you, bother you. And it has done so successfully. Question is what you're going to do about it? Learn from the message? Or just call for bans and censorship and follow the blind outrage mob and learn absolutely nothing.

This isn't child exploitation. People who like this movie are not pedophiles. Sure some might be because of the scenes. But such people will get off on anything any teen flick shows.

And by the way, it isn't the first time we've seen girls dress so wild and act crazy.

One of my favorite films when I was younger was good ol' Thirteen with Rachel Evans. That film is a god damn mastepiece in my book. And the reason I mention this is, if you want to tell a new story about a coming of age girl in a messed up society you gotta do 3 things.

Nr 1: Try and be original, Nr 2: Be bold and do something new Nr 3: Try to shock.

If we tell the same story again and hold back, nobody will watch the movie. I'm personally sick to death of coming of age flicks. They are boring mostly because they are safe.

But this one knew it wanted to shock, cause people to be mad. It took what others have done before and went a bit furhter, or a lot futher in other ways. And that's the recipe for keeping a genre or franchise alive. You continue pushing a bit further. Otherwise you stagnate and nobody will go see your movie.

Did it go too far? That's up to the viewer to decide. Personally the very fact that this film got made to begin with says it all for me. People just love to be outraged and the mass attack on people who defend it, calling us pedophiles is absurd and extremely stupid.

It's as stupid as calling people who hated Star Wars: The Last Jedi a bunch of sexists and racists. Instead of hearing out the reviews or opinions.

But yes. 6 out of 10. Above average coming of age flick. Thirteen was better imo. had more emotional weight. Was done more artistically.

But Cuties gets the point across well. Parents... stop messing up your kids, stop brainwashing them! Restricting them, or forcing them to be things they dont want to be.

Because when you feel like you're choking, you'll do anything, go anywhere, to get away. It's a fight and flight response. And in such an age, we do crazy things. It's up to YOU as parents to learn, do better.

Take a long look at yourselves instead of calling for censorship of this film. This ...reflects society. The far right and far left alike This is where your eyes should be aimed at.

At preserving balance and healthy growth of young people so they dont end up in these absurd situations. I hope Netflix keeps up the film, but if they dont, well. The outrage mob wins again and nothing will remotely be learned from this.

Final thoughts: I find it absurd to argue that this film was filmed and directed by child exploitators. Who intentionally made these clips, zooms and what not to cater to sick people who make up an insane minority of the population.

I'm seeing people argue Hollywood corruption, and twisting young minds, normalizing sexualization of teens.

All I have to say to ALL of you people.

You did not watch this movie. At all. You just read reviews and listened to some rants and think you know the full story. But if you actually watched the ending of this you'd know it does the EXACT opposite.

It's because of people like you that Rotten Tomatoes has a "verified ticket" box on their reviews now, to tell the reader if the review is actually genuine.

If you're going to be outraged and spass out online, then at the very least, know all the facts first to make sure your criticism is correct. It's like reading the front cover of Fifty Shades of Grey and say it's a book about female abuse lol.

Good lord, people. 6 out of 10. Go watch the film for yourselves and make up your own mind.

And parents, stop messing up your kids!

Deep Blue Sea 3 (2020 Video)

Total surprise seeing this existed. But well worth watching it. Tanya is great!

[7/10 · 16 August 2020]

Unpopular opinion perhaps, but I liked this more than the 1st one and 2nd one especially.

The effects, characters, story and overall fear of the sharks is just better here.

It's actually quite a good shark horror film. And unlike the Meg, the film isn't holding back on the brutality either which is nice. I still wish we'd have gotten a proper R rating of that like the director and cast wanted.

All the more reason I love these lower budget flicks. More creative freedom and here we got this cool mix of it all plus a spin on the previous 2 films stories but they manage to make it feel new and exciting.

The characters are relatively likable too. Some are slamming them but personally I had no gripe with them.

It's just a good and well made shark movie. If you liked the 1st 2 films and want a follow up that's actually offering a decent story, better than the 2nd one, this is your film.

As well as if you just want a fun shark movie in general. It's beautifully made and visually appealing in not just camera work but also in it's shark kills and overall brutality.

Good satisfying popcorn flicks for shark film fans like myself. Just my 2 cents, everyone.

Tanya is damn great too.

7 out of 10. A good, fun, visually appealing and decently written film, and more than above average.

Ancestral World (2020)

I thought it was great fun. Much more enjoyable than most multi million dollar budget films these days

[7/10 · 18 June 2020]

Just a good fun adventure.

Rating this a 2.7 whilst garbage like justice league or other massive "blockbusters" slip away with a 5-6-7 is absurd.

Rate films for what they are and films they compete with in the genre as opposed to comparing this to a massive budget flick. Anyway, intro rant over.

The film is great fun, great costumes actually. The wardrobe department did damn good and the actors do a great job. The story is quite interesting. A bit by the book and slightly rushed between sections but it cuts to the chase and delivers impactful scenes instead of focusing too much on the traversal between scenes.

Hey, I'll accept that. Keeps things moving and it's fun to explore different approaches. The fight choreography is a little bit wooden but visually this is really well made and effects wise it's not bad at all either. Made me wish they had improved choreography more since the really pumped a lot of work into making sure all their characters look quite damn cool and indimidating.

PLUS we got sexy amazons here. Thats' a whole point in itself in my score. No BS hollywood pandering political nonsense. Just actors looking damn good and acting well.

It also features a heroes journey with struggles as oopposed to being perfect and invincible. We see a believable heroes journey to improve himself and not let his ego and overconfidence get in the way of things. Overall this film is real eye-candy for what it's worth. Comparatively to other lower budget fan-flicks I gotta say this is one of the best ones I've seen.

Very enjoyable and fun to kick back with if you want to explore some fun sword and sorcery action fantasy.

7 out of 10. A damn good and enjoyable film. Held back by some lacking coreography and bit rushed transitions. It would've been better if they had spent maybe 15-20 minutes more just to add to that. Which would've been cool too and explored more dialog between our 2 main characters who's dynamics are very good.

Go watch it fellas and fellaretes. It's well worth your time if you're into exploring lower budget sword and sorcery with an open mind.

Corona Zombies (2020 Video)

This the the Citizen kane of absolutely ungodly, atrociously bad zombie films.

[2/10 · 9 June 2020]

It's laughably bad. Everyone who makde this know it.

You got so many differnet films from the 60's 70's 80's etc all coming together in this tangled up mess of a film. Nothing makes sense, the only context is the corona epidemic.

Corona zombies are walking around saying "*Coroooonaaaa!!!"* instead of Brains!!!

But its not even a zombie voice saying it. It's some dude in his office trying to sound scary. I was...dying of laughter watching this film.

The plot jumps sporadically like crazy. Couples filming at a beach, cracking MeToo jokes, then zombies appear. And the dude begins filming them. You got a blonde babe whos taking a shower fully clothed before a zombie appears outside her showercabin wearing A MASK... only to teleport away mysteriously and she acts like nothing happened. She also thought Coronavirus was an american holiday.

You think I'm making this up so far? Yeah, I would too if I read this. But we're only getting started. We also got a carrier naval vessel full of toilet paper that got hijacked and stolen by some french dude who 3 mins later had his mansion invaded by crappy looking SWAT that ended up shooting all his hostages and replying to that with " Woops"

Then when he's on the floor, putting on his best Tony Montana monologue, he refuses to tell them where the toilet paper was, so they decide to visit his mother to see if he hid the stuff at her place.

A CARRIER SHIP... FULL OF TOILET PAPER.

And we're not even 20 minutes into the film yet. then suddenly we're in Baltimore where you got africans dancing around wearing feathers and skull skull stuff.... and a female chick decides to infiltrate them although they are zombies but speak like 21th century horny gangbangers with a lotta slang...

It's important to magnify I've grown a six pack alone from laughing at this so far. And it's only getting crazier and crazier. The worst / best part about all of this is that only 1 single person in this film has actual lip synced dialog. Everyone else has brand new recorded voicelines overlapping. The sync is literally atrocious, the facial expressions are totally off. Nothing makes sense.

I can't believe this exists. This takes the meaning of low budget rip off exploitative crap... to a whole new DIMENSION. Not meaning, hell no, this stuff here has ripped open a hole to a new freaking dimension people, and you want a piece of this action because it's so stupid you'll beat the god damn Corona virus laughing at it.

And thats my review. I didn't even cover 30 % of what happens in this film. Go watch it for yourselves online or something if you are bored and wanna laugh so hard you'll cry.

Worse ways to spend a slow weekday or sunday. Christ I'm having fun.

8 out of 10 on a scale of being so absolutely ungodly bad...that its good and downright hilarious.

Director dude, you're a freaking legend, man. It's so shameless... so awful, and I'm loving it because of how downright idiotically funny it is.

Terminator: Resistance (2019 Video Game)

Teyon's love letter to the Terminator franchise.

[9/10 · 17 November 2019]

This is what we've been asking for for years, hoped for on the big screen in Hollywood, and thought we'd get with Dark Fate... but everyone, including Cameron himself got it wrong.

And along comes smaller dev Teyon and knocks it right out the freaking park 1st try.

I was worried about this when I saw the developer and their track record, but they proved that they know their stuff, they had a real love for this franchise and the final result of blood, sweat, metal and tears is the BEST terminator game we have ever gotten. Of which we have far too few, yes.

• Pros

We get fun combat, surprisingly decent graphics even with the lower budget which is fine because graphics DO NOT make a good game. Something I believe the game critics have forgotten all about these days...

We got lots of customization, gun upgrades, fan service weaponry, good crafting, exploration, small RPG dialog sequences that allow you to interact with characters in both small and large ways. We got sex scenes as well which took me completely by surprise because I had no idea how deep they'd go with their story aspect.

Again, this game just came out of nowhere and I ended up feeling like I was playing a Metro in the Terminator universe. Its so freaking great. The voice acting is quite good, map design is very open and you can go about handling enemies in a variety of ways that all work well and aren't feeling generic.

Why is this? Because if you play on extreme difficulty, which true fans will !, those T-800's will 1 shot you sometimes unless you use cover and dont go full Rambo, which is very tempting nonetheless.

You can place mines, distraction gadgets, use various grenades, stimpaks, upgrade guns, use normal projectile types or laser types and even build tech knives you can sneak up behind terminators with and 1 shot them with a cool stab to the neck ( mo-cap ofc) There are plenty of save stations, crafting stations and shops in camps that never make you feel like you're in dire need to make space for your inventory, with exception to larger weapons. But economically you will never run into issues here. Scavenging is very lucrative, crafting is good and rewarding and its fun too because as your economy builds and scavenging might be a bit tiresome sometimes, you can rely more on the store to buy ammo or bombs and of course loot ammo from Terminators you kill.

The balance is really great and has you avoid being stuck with only 1 replenishment system. The devs want to tell a cool story and engage us, not put us through a grind and that I thank them for.

You also have a cool skill system. Upgrade bagspace, hacking, crafting, weaponry damage, and more. And the final upgrades in these trees come with additional benefits like fun buffs to your overall performance in that specific area. For instance (Damage tree buffs your critical damage and allows you to use terminator weapons.)

Its fun, not repetative at all, and its scary too because the enemies are pretty nasty with some of their abilities and although the accuracy can appear a bit random at times, make no mistake. If you stand infront of a T-800 he will kill you. Ain't no QTE to save you from a grab. He will annihilate you.

And I love that. The terminators feel scary. And the music enhances this by being so absolutely true to T1 and T2. that dark, gritty metallic sounds that inspires dread and hope at the same time.

You are in the Future War. And its simply outstanding.

• Few Cons

This is minor stuff that didn't ruin my experience but was still noticable. It would've been nice with a FOV-slider (Total Biscuit is screaming loudly somewhere) It would've been nice with Terminators being more tanky even on higher difficulty. Its really great to feel powerful and our weapons are awesome. But once I get a sniper rifle and upgrade it with damage bonuses or skill points that buff critical damage by 100 %, I'm 1 shotting terminators way too easily.

It might be intended, but it does make the battle against them less scary. So perhaps a fix to this could be not changing the rifle or damage but making the ammunition for the rifle far more scarce or something. Especially considering the laser ammunition is extremely plentiful even on max difficulty.

But this wont be an issue for all people. Some enjoy being very strong and fight back after a hard start. You got that here.

And unlike hack critics who slam this fantastic game simply for not having next gen graphics, I wont place the lesser graphics as a con here because in my book, it has always, and will always go like this:

"Gameplay > Graphics"

Every time. And that is what Terminator Resistance is. A gem, a love letter to Terminator fandom, a wonderful story, great interaction, fun combat, awesome skill system and crafting, refreshing RPG dialog and decisions and scary terminators that make you feel like you're genuinely being hunted for extermination. Fabulous music, tried and true to the original Terminator movies and really well written characters.

It feels like a war for survival. And you are doing your part, working with your friends and John Connor to win.

9 out of 10. A damn good ride, well worth the money and time invested. Thank you, Teyon for keeping these types of games alive, I hope we get a sequel or at least DLC.

I want to see a terminator movie made starring the plot and characters from this game. Take notes, Hollywood. Or rather, just give Teyon the movie rights since they managed to create a genuine success story here with a lower budget. Contrary to 200 million dollar Dark Fate that chose to alienate the fandom instead.

But not this game & dev. Well done, Teyon. Very very well done. Thank you for that.

And btw, cool that you included the little Rambo reference in one of the cutscenes, making a bit of fun of yourself in the process. You guys & gals earned my respect.

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (2019 Video Game)

Genuinely a wonderful game ruined by 1 big thing for me personally

[5/10 · 15 November 2019]

I'm ready to rate this a 9 out of 10 even...but i can't because of the most important thing in a game about lightsabers.

We have everything going here. Wonderful story, characters, Single player journey, platforming, customizations, lightsabers modifcations and much much more. Its fantastic and refreshing... but there is no dismemerment for humanoid NPC's.

This is such a childish, foolish design decision. You needn't even show blood, or gore, merely dismemberment as per how Star Wars 20 YEARS AGO did it with Jedi Knight.

It is so monumentally annoying and boring to see all these cool animations, fantastic mo-cap and more only to not see any remote freaking impact of the lightsabers. It only happens versus beasts and robots. And it looks fantastic, but not against anyone else.

It is so monumentally freaking stupid when you spend a LOT of time fighting inquisitors, stormtroopers etc. Every kill against them will remind you of this. Its not just something you can ignore, move on with, no. EVERY single kill of consistent Humanoid enemy combat will have you feel " Egh..."

Over... and over again. And it sucks. It ruined the experience for me because whenever a beast appeared and I sliced it in half it just made it all the more worse. Its a litteral tease... throughout the entire game and its impossible to accept it. Let alone the fact that we shouldn't because its stupid.

The game is fantastic, I'd love to rate it higher. Much higher, but I just can't because its ticking me off. We had freaking dismemberment in the 80's in Empire Strikes back, and again in Return of the Jedi ... But we can't have it in 2019 ??

This is absolutely dumb. And the game is worse for it. A crying shame. If you dont care about dismemberment at all, you'll have an amazing time here, but if you do and loved the Jedi Knight games and baseline lightsabers physics... then this will anger you throughout the ENTIRE game. Every duel.

5 out of 10 when it should've gotten 10. The game is 50 % worse because the combat has been 50 % neutered.

For goodness sake, Respawn... Please release modding tools or Dismemberment for Humanoid NPC's and Ill change my rating. If not, then whatever.

A lightsaber is a high temperature laser blade. NOT a freaking baseball bat. How many times do we have to say it... "sigh"

Road Trash (2019)

Damn cool actually. (Spoilers)

[9/10 · 10 November 2019]

Found it by accident. Films damn good.

Synopsis is as it goes but the ending has a surprise twist.

• Spoilers

Dont pick up dead animals or anything dead or you risk getting infected. And thats exactly what happens. She walks around picking up dead things, trying to compassionate or orderly. A grim undertaking but she finds it necessary.

But ultimately ends up with rabies, hallucinating about a werewolf monster and then the film ends.

Its pretty cool, spooky, dark, edgy, and ends with a message that I can get behind.

Good intentions can pave the way to hell. Food for thought, ladies and gentlemen.

I dont know why its getting slammed in terms of its rating, but I liked it.

Pretty cool, fun, dark and with a surprise twist that I didnt see coming remotely. Can recommend to people liking dark shorts or merely want to tell your children to never pick up dead animals.

Haha, have 'em watch this and they wont.

Rambo: Last Blood (2019)

Pure cinematic action GOLD. Masterpiece! Dont listen to the bloody critics at RT

[10/10 · 20 September 2019]

I just have to say the obvious to begin with. Do NOT listen to the Rotten Tomatoes critics. They are obsessed with politics and have thrown objectivity out the window entirely. Pure application of their obsession with minorities and Trump and bla bla bla... and NONE of this has any remote bearing in this film. The reviews are hateful, and utterly innacurate. No matter your political or religious leanings this film APPEALS TO YOU. Why? Because its emotional, honorable, stoic, brave and it represents the best in people as we on occasion... end up encountering the worst.

Its classic Rambo, everyone. And its so good. Now, to the actual review.

• First and foremost

There is NOTHING political about this movie. In the slightest. Its a good ol' amazing Rambo Revenge movie. About a man who's after so long, gone through so much horrible war and loss... having found peace. Living on his ranch with who we suspect is his good friend or girlfriend possibly, who has a grandchild. A daughter who'm Rambo considers his own daughter.

Lots of bad stuff happens and the film gets insanely brutal. I wont spoil that because I want whoever reads this to go watch the movie. Even if you do it for free for fearing losing money on bad Hollywood films... trust me. Its worth your time. Its a fantastic action film and emotionally impactful as well because of the EXTREMELY well written story. I'll even go as far to compare this film to Logan.

Because we see this amazing man, take on the role of a soldier, of a defender ot peace and guardian of those he loves, fight against horrible monster drugdealers and criminals who hurt him in arguably... the most atrocious way we've ever seen across this entire franchise.

Rambo has lost friends. Family, even felt like his own country turned on him... but this time he loses something he never even thought he'd have. And to be fair, I'm still on the fence whether or not it was a good idea.

• It gets really dark...

Dont get me wrong, the decision was REALLY brave, really took a strong spine to go this dark, this brutal. The R-Rating is NOT remotely just for show. The are going all out and I'm not just talking in terms of the action. Not remotely. The choice to hurt John Rambo in such a way... really left me feeling shocked. It hurt, seeing what happened, feeling his pain, if only a fraction of it because we come to care about the characters in this movie.

But this is the Rambo Franchise... and everyone gets their fair share of pain. Some more so than others. There are no rainbow coloured happy endings here. Its a grim world. But Rambo pushes forward, much like Rocky.

But its sad. Its grim, and sad... and its so damn freaking GOOD. Its so phenomenally GOOD.

There is NOTHING political about this movie. It is a heartfelt, impactful, well written, well acted action film

And now that we've established that as well as RT's critics being borderline nuts and should not be trusted... lets talk about the R Rating and the Action shall we?

• The Action!

It starts slow. It fleshes out the characters and some argue its boring and meh because of that. But I entirely disagree because it makes us understand why this happens, it makes every insanely visually spectacular kill so much better when he finally goes full Green Beret. And we feel his pain which is symbolically present in the final kill of the film. Which I wont spoil.

We get decapitations, explosions, impaled bodies, nails, axes, shotguns annihilating entire heads, rakes going trough ribcages, more explosions, machinegun fire that turn bodies into swiss cheese, his machete makes a comeback, a freaking M1 Garand blowing holes the size of melons, incinerations, stabbings, more stabbings, throat cuts and stabs, deathrattles galore,

"Takes a deep breath"

we get house traps where freaking blades slide open mens heads and them falling through the floor unto a few dozen spikes which turn them into practical human needlecussions, arrow fire and probably more that I can't remember right now because there is SO much. We also see parts of rape, violence against women kidnapped and forced into prostitution, threats that are VERY convincing because John Rambo is freaking scary, and its so good, and we see drugs and needlemarks. Nasty, horrible stuff.

And all of it... shows us the grim, ugly, but important to be aware of reality of the world which John Rambo knows extremely well. We get a grim dark story that the Emperor of Warhammer 40k would come back to life to cheer for. Because it truly is not holding back.

And in all its sadness, horrid evil, it gives us a phemomenal revenge story from a character we all love. Expressing his love and pain through fear and anger, as he takes revenge on the monsters that hurt him unlike anyone to date.

No thats not hyperbolic. Watch the movie and you'll understand.

10 out of 10. Absolute masterpiece. Genuine work of art and after so many sequels I got to say, I am impressed at how the final film turned out so good. Most people would screw it up, forget what made their original film so great "Coughs Predator & Alien" ... But not Sylvester Stallone.

This is a grand epic finale. A truly heartfelt movie. The Logan of the Rambo Franchise.

And what final words do I have to tell the critics who ignore all I've listed and write lies and falsehoods?

Last Action Hero (1993)

A review from an Arnie fan in response to a trash Collider article.

[10/10 · 18 August 2019]

I love this film, grew up with it as a 90's kid and had a blast with Arnie, Stallone and the other legends as my heroes and idols.

This movie has a special place in my heart. So when I rewatched it today, googling afterwards for pure interest I came across this Collider article that had the headline:" Why this movie is a required watch for fanboys who take movies too seriously"

Now. Only only is this article probably written as a weaponization attempt since fan-wars have escalated lately with marvel films and Star Wars, Star Trek etc because of mishandling of properties, so seeing Collider trying to attack us fans this way at first made me angry because thats not at all what this film is about.

The beauty of Last Action Hero, is not just the cool action, kicking bad guys, creative scenes, epic dialog, fun with humor and one-liners, lots of tropes, lots of classic behavior. Making jokes at Hollywood itself, being both 4 dimensional in its scope and having a blast with it, without being remotely generic. Its so creative and fun.

A timeless flick.

But its at the end of the film where Jack is hurt, Danny needs to go back but doesn't want to leave him alone although he's gonna be okay. And Jack says how Danny needs to go back. He needs him to be out there, believing in him. Taking all the good emotions, the thoughts, lessons, all the good stuff we get from these movies and live a long, happy life.

Always knowing our favorite super heroes are nearby. They wont leave our side. We know where to find them. They love us and we love them.

Last Action Hero... isn't a movie preaching at the kids telling them to not take things seriously. Its a LOVE LETTER!... to the fans, letting them know that our favorite action heroes love us, care about our support and want us to believe in them, as well as enjoying our own lives, using all the cool stuff we draw from the movies to enhance our own. Becomes idols ourselves whilst always knowing that our childhood champions will near nearby.

That... is what Last Action Hero is all about. And I wanted to made that clear because of opportunists at these shill websites who love to make stuff up that simply isn't true.

This is one of my favorite films. Childhood favorite, next to Turboman. And it deserves to be highlighted and loved for what it so perfectly accomplished to do.

Giving us a damn good ride, bringing the audience with it, through Danny, representing us as kids, watching all sorts of action, heroism, surprises, humorous one-liner and story developments, so very creatively at that. Hot girls, mega awesome music, fantasy galore and at the end... a love-letter to us viewers.

Who believe, love and adore these films. Our childhood heroes. They just dont make them like this anymore.

A flat 10 out of 10.

And Collider... there is nothing wrong with taking movies, comics, music or any other form of entertainment & Art seriously.

It is because of our passion, our love and FAITH in these characters, franchises that they become so successful. We're passionate human beings. And it feels good to be a fan.

The fact that you guys over there complain about that, says nothing about us, but everything about you. Long live fandom. And masterpieces like this film that is made for us. Respecting us and having a blast whilst taking us to all sorts of mega creative and new heights.

And if anyone still believes that being a big fan is a bad thing... and merely be mindless drones who dont care and thus wont criticise nor love...

Ill respond In the words of Jack Slater himself: "Better to die"

Thank you Arnold and thank you John Mctiernan.

Hellboy (2019)

Has some issues but its a fun ride.

[6/10 · 25 July 2019]

I can understand the hate it's getting but in my opinion most of it is overblown.

• The Bad

Wonky dialog at times. Can feel a bit rushy, wording could've used more flow. The phase is off as well from scene to scene. It is pretty obvious that they had issues shooting because the transitioning leaves quite a bit to be desired.

Hellboy's costume design was pretty good overall however I do believe it had some proportion problems now and again. He didn't look as big or broad as he should've during certain scenes.

One too many jokes. Film tried to be a bit too marvel-esque and trying to make your audience laugh too much just ain't gonna work unless you use humor in your cinematography. Comedy however is entirely different because its far less organic and more forced. Thus ending up leaving your audience feeling asked to laugh instead of actually making them laugh.

• The Good

David's performance was super over the top and I liked it. I thought it was crazy good and different from Del Toro's which I appreciate. I am not going to compare the two films because I just welcome both existing.

The action is great, we get to see more demon hellboy using his sword, actually killing Nimue with it at the end too which was very satisfactory. Let alone the definative R-rating which I applaud them for standing true by.

We got severed heads, impaled corpses, big monsters, lots of evil and its great. It is as you'd expect from a movie about monsters and demons. And honestly we dont get enough of this because everything has to be a marvel PG 13 movie these days which I'm getting extremely bored of. This is one of the reasons I welcome this flick. Because of the fact that is is different. Its own thing. Troubled but fun.

Some of the humor is quite good. The destroying of his iphone, his over the top screaming whilst trying to be this bro-ish dude guy who just wants to kick back, have a few bears and chill. Hellboy here is such a cool guy. A very chill guy. Bit goofy, very overly dramatic and I like that. I personally enjoy this particular aspect of him over Del Toro's version because I felt like that Hellboy there began getting a bit too emotional. Too calm and romantic and it just didn't really feel right. I wanted to see more kicking butt and humorous but aggressive behavior and personality.

This Hellboy however isn't having one bit of that. Its full-on screaming, anger frustration and wanting to just figure out his identity issue with being half human and half demon. Which is interesting and really well done too. This film knew what it wanted to be, it didn't have too many subplots going that interfered with the overall arc. Minus the forced comedy from time to time.

The ending of the film is spectacular. We get some real eye-candy and a solid emotional but fittingly so grand finale where Hellboy accepts who he truly is, gets a nice acknowledment from his father, something he was missing and its just such a great form of storytelling when its all rounded up.

Be your own man. Dont let anyone manipulate you. Be strong, be fierce and dont let any presets affect who you truly want to be. It is your choice. And thats a damn good message that I can get behind.

A fathers love and a strong message to be a man. A strong man with a strong spine.

And no matter this film's phasing issues or unnecessary jokes from time to time, I ultimately look at this film and think 2 things: I liked it, I want to watch it again.

• Conclusion

Quite a ride. Lots of good, few bits of bad. But overall quite damn entertaining and it has personality. It has a good group of characters we can enjoy and follow around. Sadly held back by the phasing of the film. It would've been quite cool having a slow, sitting in the bar talking for 10 minutes. Discussing their powers, their backgrounds and such.

Movies really need to do that kind of thing more these days. Its nice with some breaks with good dialog. 6 out of 10. Above average. A good movie. With nice replay value. If it hadn't had these phasing problems as well as given us some more time learning about the characters which Del Toro's films did better, I would've rated it 7. But alas, maybe there is hope for a sequel although I doubt it knowing the box office numbers.

Just the same. I appreciate what we did get.

Total War: Three Kingdoms (Video Game)

After a 5 year long boycot of Creative Assembly I have decided to give them a chance. This is what I think of 3K.

[4/10 · 15 July 2019]

I'm gonna start out with the good bits because they have listened. They have learned and some aspects of the combat design, campaign modes and hero systems are worth talking about.

• The Good

The inventory system for heroes is a cool touch. I always welcome more variation. The ability to duel is great because its fun and not forced, player control to select our campaign mode is good.

The combat system is overall good. It maintains a balance of MTW2 combat interaction whilst trying to creative occasional matched lock-on kills when appropriate. It is not as good as MTW2, but it is definitely better than Warhammer based on what I have seen.

The music has its moments of beauty and good battle rhytm, but I wont say more because there isn't enough variation at all. the hero designs are quite interesting as well. Some look ordinary, others look fantastic, but graphically they are worse than Warhammer by a long shot. Nevertheless, points for good design work.

Representation of both male and female generals in quite cool ways, with unique inventory. I love this. And you can even gather the weapons or armors of the opponents you defeat. This should definitely evolve with the franchise.

I dont hate this game. And I actually expected I would. So I credit you CA for some great ideas. But you also made some very bad ones and Ill discuss those now.

• The Bad

You may want to get a drink. This is gonna be a long one and if you're a veteran of TW you're gonna get angry.

First of all, morale is too low. Everyone breaks immediately when flanked or hit by cavalry. Archers do too much damage. I dont get why they make melee centered video games when they make ranged units so OP they literally melt everything. This has been a problem since Napoleon Total War but namely Shogun 2, Fall of the Samurai. And why are the tracers so grotesquely large? Am i firing arrows or toilet paper rolls? Because I can't tell the difference.

Oh. Turn them off you say? Well then I can't see anything at all. So that isn't very well balanced. Unlike in MTW2 or shogun 2. Just saying. CA's damage balancing teams are completely clueless on how to do their jobs. And that brings me to a good example of this because Im going to prove it to you!. Next point!

Towers are hitting harder than when God annihilated Babylon. No i am not being hyperbolic. I opened the game files and arrow tower fire is as high in damage as a trebuchet. Hey. I told you you were going to need a drink reading this. Dont blame me if you're feeling sick. Lord knows I was when I saw this. And to anyone who thinks Shield Wall or shield block chance is going to matter. Hahaha. Yeah, no. That tower is a machinegun next equipped with Warhammer 40k Heavy Bolters. And to be fair, they have been for years now because CA dont care. Moving on!

Unit variation is atrocious. Hardly anything is interesting. Most things look the same. It may be historically authentic but this is a video game. Its very very boring. CA's excuse here is that modders will fix that but I'm honestly tired of this. It's super uninspired for 60 bucks.

Units are locked behind unlock requirements in custom battle. This is just... infuriating. I love to playtest units and see what they look like. Can't do that here for the best / elite units. Also the only units that actually dont look like peasants. Whoever at CA thought this was a good idea should be fired. No I dont think thats over the top. Its outright insanely screwed up. Its like selling you a freaking cellphone with lots of features but you dont get to actually use your mailbox, or apps for like 1 week until you used the rest enough.

I imagine looking at you now, dear reader. Seeing you find this staggering and absurd to the extent it sounds like I am lying. Good., I say. I would do too. Because what I am describing is anti-consumer friendly design on steroids and has never been in any total war up until 3K. Which is exactly why I'm mentioning it. This... should NEVER return. Last time I saw this was in EA/ Dice's Battlefront 2. You'd think a developer would know better especially after that backlash.

The graphics are bad. But the steam screenshots do not. How do we explain this? Yes, it was a mystery to me too. Because it is not a Rome 2 situation exactly, although close. The issue here that Creative Assembly screwed up the lighting in the game.

So that means whenever you see battles at night. The game looks absolutely beautiful. The colors, contrasts, correct shine and saturation is on point. But then daylight comes... and we are teleported back to 2007 in terms of graphical fidelity because the color balancing isn't taking the light change into account at all.

No, I dont know why or if this is intended. Only thing I know is I'm running this game max on a strong PC with everything updated and the only time my game looks 90 % similar to the steam pics are during night battles or in afternoon fights with less sun exposure.

Some things worth bringing up as well are the bad interface changes, stupid garrisons and AI not wanting to attack you if you fortify your bases. I am so insanely tired of this. Garrisons break the game because it is boring, and extra fortification means no attacks ever. I get that CA want to make a "smarter AI" but I personally think the AI should never ever ask for peace until its at 1 base left. I spent hours on very hard fortifying my bases and nothing ever happened in my major cities with walls.

Its incredibly boring.

Generals not being able to recruit all units is the most annoying in-game restriction I have ever seen in a TW game. In a game with duels and cool outfits and all these customizable things, you forcing me to use a boring general who's afk on the battlefield is infuriating. Stop telling me how to play and let me do what I want.

And why are there so few generals armors and weapons to go around? Its stupid stuff like this, let alone the tower complaint that is exactly why I dont play Total War games online anymore. Your games are freaking unplayable without mod assistance.

And this is where I will move unto the next part of this massive review. A recent controversy that has lead me to boycot you again.

• The recent controversy.

Not too long ago a chinese modder decided to make portraits of female generals more interesting and uniquely distinguishing to look at. Because this is gaming and the internet he decided to make them extremely attractive. Emphasis on extreme. I'm using that word because I dont want to risk this review not being approved. This is news to noone. We've seen it in all games. Just part of the internet. People enjoy making all sorts of funny mods.

But where this player creation becomes a controversy is when CA decided to freak out over this because of a single employee's opinion. They made this opinion their policy and I dont really care too much about that. What I care about is how they began a witch-hunt and have officially censored the modder in question. Ordering him to remove his mods or change them through Steam.

Bear in mind, dear reader. This is a game where you can literally dismember men, women and animals. Arms, legs, heads, etc. I just want everyone to keep this in mind when being presented with this information that CA went full 12th century Crusade over a female general being made look more revealing in a 2D portrait alone.

No matter your opinion on that, what I wish to emphasize is the final outcome. Not the company's policy. CA is within their right to dislike what they want. But I am strongly opposed to them censoring harmless community creations.

I do not like them suddenly trying to boss us around. We have been keeping their game alive for years because 90 % of the time when CA releases a game its broken and unplayable. For them to now attack us and play the morality game is the last straw for me personally.

If you're going to allow us to mod, then you can't just begin complaining about us modding afterwards, let alone censoring us and actually cracking down on the guys steam account so hard he can't upload for a while.

Its absolutely childish and outrageous. This is a paying customer who spend his hard earned money to buy your product and you're punishing him and censoring him after you allowed him to be creative.

Disgust... is not a strong enough word.

• Conclusion

3K is a very large, mixed bag. And there are things I didn't talk about because they didn't overly affect me to the same extent the things I mentioned did. There are things I like, things I love, things I hate and revile.

But I'll simply end this colossal review in this way here. Modders have fixed 90 % of the things I complained about. That is important to highlight.

But I am personally going to rate this game a 4 out of 10 just the same because the baseline is bad. The game is lacking, it is very backwards and has atrocious ideas that weren't thought through properly. For ever 2 steps forward, it takes 3 steps backwards. And that is my golden rule by thumb when it comes to dealing with this developer.

Because its always the same. Everytime. I'm not going to let the controversy affect my rating however. if it did I'd rate it an outright 1 out of 10. But I'm not going to do that.

3K is a 4 / out 10. Below average. A good game held back by too many bad ideas and stupid problems. With mods its easily a 7-8 depending on your point of view.

But as for me personally, I am just done. I have always loved modding. I've made a lot for Shogun 2 myself. Loved exploring my ideas, potential concepts with both men and women alike. Loved combining things and going in crazy directions to be original and fresh when adding to our great community.

If CA is gonna begin dictating and censoring us now, then I have officially had enough. You haven't learned a thing from Rome 2's era. And about Rome 2. Sieges are still laggy to boot. Its ridiculous.

And on that note:" 2 steps forwards, 3 steps backwards" GG, CA.