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5/10
Almost, but not even Close
5 May 2024
Just another film about the tragic patriarch, absorbed with itself. A small adjustment in casting could have made it a masterpiece. If this had been recast with Joseph Gordon Levitt, and Helen Murren it might have made people think... "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World" is a poignant exploration of human connections in the face of impending doom. Released in 2012, this film starring Helen Mirren and Joseph Gordon-Levitt stands out for its thoughtful approach to challenging societal norms. As civilization braces for an apocalyptic event, the narrative delves into unexpected relationships, offering a refreshing take on love and companionship. Unlike some remakes that fall short, "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World" captivates audiences with its sincerity and depth. Mirren and Gordon-Levitt deliver stellar performances, drawing viewers into a world where the end is near but human connection remains paramount. This film not only entertains but also leaves a lasting impression, prompting reflection on the value of relationships and the beauty of human resilience. In a cinematic landscape often crowded with formulaic plots, "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World" shines as a beacon of originality and emotional depth.
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Twisted Pair (2018)
10/10
The One Man Band of Cinema
16 April 2022
Holy cr@p this guy is hilarious! He writes, directs, stars, does the very special not very effective special effects, and I am guessing he does his own legal work too... He literally registered this movie with the corporation name "Cornelius Neil Francis Breen, 1946- . Address: 2105 Pescara Court, Las Vegas, NV, 89123, USA." with the U. S. Copyright Office... So the official name of his company is not only his full legal name, but the year he was born (which is oddly 12 years older than his official bio...?), the word "Address" a colon, and then his full address... With a few periods, commas, and a "-" thrown in for good measure.

Maybe someone should tell him to "hack the world's governments" and take that down before he starts getting weird stuff in the mail... Hi Neil! You're getting a card for the holidays! I love you, man!
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Eternals (2021)
1/10
Nailed the Bechdel Test, Now Make Something that Doesn't Suck!
9 April 2022
I get it. Disney made some embarrassing stuff in the 50s, 60s, and 70s; now they're trying to recover their image. And it's not easy to find a director and writer who are not white men. But Chloé Zhao doesn't make super hero action movies. She doesn't even make action movies! What she makes are social commentary movies. Her stuff is not humorous, it's not fantasy, or any fun at all. Zhao movies are the opposite. You watch her stuff when you want to think about society and be introspective, not watch a hero save the world with super powers. You watch super hero movies to escape all the s### her movies are about.

This movie sucked. How much money did Disney waste on this garbage? And for what? It doesn't matter how many disenfranchised people are in it; an inclusive movie that sucks only makes people think that inclusive moves suck. Chloé Zhao is about as qualified to make a super hero movie as she is to make a roller coaster. And this is what you get when you hire someone who is neither qualified nor interested in the area where they are hired to create; you get a train wreck.
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Soul Man (1986)
1/10
Written, directed, and produced by...?
9 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The irony is cringeworthy. Who better to create a story that expresses the struggle with racial inequality than Carol L. Black, Steve Miner, and Steve Tisch (3 rich white people)? And they wrap it up with a talk about what the white male lead has learned... (spoiler allert!) He learned he's not black!?!? I learned that Hollywood is not about to hire a black person in an authorship role, but they are not above profiting from insincere whitewashed P. C. pontification and pickaninny jokes.

The lead was declined by Anthony Michael Hall, Tim Robbins, Anthony Edwards, Val Kilmer, and John Cusack. I like to believe that those 5 actors had too much integrity.
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