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Blonde (2022)
A re-exploitation and false depiction
This movie gave me a headache. I skipped through most of the second half (watched on Netflix) and skipping won't cause you to miss anything because there really is no storyline. It is made up of mostly visuals images and scenes. As a movie overall it's actually very boring, and I am a big fan of period movies and also of Marilyn Monroe. I found this movie actually made fun of her. They took all the alleged tragedies of her life and the ways people often viewed her (as dumb, naive, and weak) which she was not, and hyped it up for drama. They made a mockery of her memory. She was not the character in this movie, and if they were trying to show the "real person" or Norma Jean, to say they failed would be an understatement. The actress they picked (whom I have nothing against personally) I really liked her in Knives Out, is very miscast in this role. Sure she has good emotional acting abilities, but for the whole movie I felt like I was watching someone in a Halloween costume of Marilyn Monroe. I also didn't like how they made her character so immature, calling all the men in her life "daddy" and being nude most of the time that she did this. It wasn't right I don't care if parts of it could be proven true (which I highly doubt) it just didn't add anything to the story. The actress also did not in any way match Marilyn's physical appearance. Marilyn was much more voluptuous, and during the nude scenes it was clearly a much thinner person and only made it seem more of a poor attempt at wearing a costume and trying to imitate a famous person. It just didn't work and felt extremely exploitative. Yes unfortunately Marilyn Monroe probably did suffer these things in her life (sexual assault) but that does not mean we have to see it played out in front of us. If you want to remember Marilyn watch one of her films instead of this. I recommend "How to Marry a Millionaire".
Marry Me (2022)
Only writing a review because I bothered to rent it
I didn't even finish it, i skipped through half of it and then just quit, it was super boring. It actually felt like it was made just to be a promotional film for Jennifer Lopez music career, and all the song she sings are very annoying in this movie. Don't waste your time.
Summerland (2020)
Beautiful
Honestly one of the most heartwarming and nice stories I have seen in a longtime. Will make you laugh and cry, and leave you feeling happy and satisfied, which is really rare for movie these days! Please watch if you get the chance! It deserves every one of my 10/10 stars.
Shirley (2020)
Felt like a dream
Please watch this film and gain your own opinion on it. I have never heard of the real life author it's based on (Shirley Jackson) but now I plan on looking into her work. This movie felt like a dream. It was beautifully filmed. The colours and the cinematography fit the story and the era so well....It's one of those films that will stay on your mind for a few days after, and those are the best ones! I may even watch it again because I just found it so mesmerizing. Elizebeth Moss has always been a favourite of mine and she was amazing in this. It is definitely worth your time.
Emma. (2020)
Pretty to look at but REALLY BORING to watch
I wasted $5 renting this movie on iTunes. I debating renting it for a long time because I am usually a big fan of period dramas. I was so disappointed, and I didn't even finish the movie before the rental expired. That's how much I didn't care. The film gives you no reason to care about any of the characters or their lives. The main actress who plays Emma is also annoying, I'm sorry but she just doesn't seem right to be in a period piece. Emma Stone would have been a much better choice. Anyways, once again please take my warning and don't watch this movie, it will just be 2 hours of your life you won't get back. Speaking of Emma Stone, watch "The Favourite" instead. It has beautiful costumes and characters that actually have personalities.
Ready or Not (2019)
Not even worth a rating (-10 stars)
Such a pointless movie. Horrible acting, it was so bad it felt like I was watching an SNL skit. It just stupid, boring and bad.
Midsommar (2019)
Why do I keep doing this to myself
Not sure where to begin. The trailer for this film caught my interest, and I thought "ohh this is something different", it'll be worth a watch. Spoiler is was not. First of all the run time is ridiculous. The films tales up almost THREE HOURS of your time. That alone should have been a sign to me but I kept watching. To say that this film left a bad taste in my mouth would be beyond an understatement. For most of the viewing I felt disturbed and anxious. At some points I genuinely thought I was high or having some kind of mental break. And this goes on for a long time. I can kind of relate this experience to the one I had when watching "Suspiria" (2018), meaning that the films entire purpose is to just be gross, disturbing, and pointless. Also the actions the characters take in the movie are ridiculous even for film standards. The movie is set in modern times, yet these grown adults see nothing wrong with going to a "cult retreat", taking strange drugs, and eating and drinking things from these strangers. Basically at multiple points in the film, the main characters are offered things to drink from these disturbed people all dressed in white, and at no point do they hesitate or refuse. It also gets way worse then this, as there is a lot of shocking goring scenes with close ups of this gore. I apologize I am now rambling but it's 7am and I have been unable to sleep because of how much this films disturbed me. Please save yourself the trouble and just watch YouTube reviews if you want to know what you are missing. At least those videos won't take up an entire evening and leave you emotionally disturbed and with chronic insomnia.
Downton Abbey (2019)
Beautiful tribute to the show
Amazing, I cried happy tears multiple times during the film. If you are a lover of the show you will L.O.V.E. the film. I plan on seeing it a second time! Please go see it, it beyond worth it!
Suspiria (2018)
Disgusting Disgrace of film, who writes this filth!?
I did not want to give it any stars. I would have given it -10 starts if I could. I rented this movie through the iTunes Store for 5.99. and I'm so disappointed that I have given any profit to this film. Even to let people watch it for free would be a waste to humanity. It is two whole hours of vulgarity, gore, and unessasary nudity that makes you loose you appetite. It gave me a headache that I still can't get rid of. More importantly I want to know what the main actors were thinking to agree to act in this film. We're you that desperate for the money?? Did you think it was "weird in a good way" and appealed to your artistic asthestic?? Well it's not. I had never heard of this film before, and did not know it was a "remake". I can tell you right now I have no interest in watching the original anymore. I'm so sick of modern writers and directors making this unimaginably offensive and sick scrips, thinking that modern society will love it and give them awards. I wish we could go back to when films were beautiful and had meaning without so much vulgarity and gore. I could probably go on, but feel like this is a fare warning. Do not watch this film, do not promote it. It is not worth any of your time or one cent of your money.
Mother! (2017)
BEYOND AWFUL
This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. I have no words. I really cannot think of what to say, that's how BAD it was. It's grotesque for no reason. It is violent, pathetic, and a complete was of time. It will literally leave you mad at the time you waste watching it. This film is an insult to life. I am completely dumbfounded as to how this film got made in the first place. Seriously it serves no purpose, and should have never been green-lit. It masquerades as an something different from the trailer, it APPEARS intriguing and different, but it is just a huge slap in the face to the viewer. It is a disturbing, pathetic, annoying, pergatory of mental pain that takes up basically two house of your life. If you still watch it after reading my review, it's your loss. I've given you far warning.
A Cure for Wellness (2016)
Warning, Do not watch this Film
I am someone who's always liked weird movies. I like plots that are strange and make you curious. I am also a fan of anything to do with Insane Asylums + beautiful set designs. So when I saw the trailer for this film I thought I would love it. I did not love it.
It starts out interesting but quickly just becomes a confusing mess. The plot is all over the place, and the main character becomes really annoying after a while. Plus there are some really disturbing scenes, I could barely watch some of them. The majority of the "scare" scenes involve these horrible Eel creatures, and its just sickening! I seriously could not get it out of my head for WEEKS after seeing the film. I even had nightmares about it, it was terrible.
So please save yourself the trouble and do not bother watching this. You would just be wasting your time. If you want to see a really good Asylum-based film, go watch "Girl Interrupted" (1999), now that's an amazing film!
Into the Woods (2014)
It was Agony to have to sit through this movie
I am not a fan of musicals, and even if I was, I still would not have enjoyed this movie. First of all, I did not even know "Into the Woods" was based on a Musical. I had no idea what the story was about, besides fairy tales. One of the main reasons I went to see it in the first place is because the trailer showed really cool special effects and costumes. It seemed overall that it would be an enjoyable film. I was really wrong. I knew there was some singing in it, but it turns out the film is basically ALL SINGING! There are a few lines here and there where the actors talk, and I thought I was in the clear,and then they start again and I just sat their rolling my eyes.
The thing that made it even worse was that the songs were not even catchy! Most of the time, the actors were either shouting or complaining through the songs. All you can think is "shut up already and get to the point!" I do not think Disney should have attached themselves to this film. When I think of Disney, I think of amazing magical stories that I can actually enjoy, with some singing where the songs actually make sense with the story,and that you can listen to over and over again! Not what seemed like three hours of idiots walking around in the woods, only to have the most random, non satisfying ending.
Not to mention the inappropriate/weird moments between characters that where not suitable for young children. There were two in particular that I could not believe where even included in the film. The interaction between little red riding hood and the PERVY wolf! I don't care what anyone says, the way he was singing, combined with lyrics and body language made him look like a pedophile...and it was really uncomfortable to watch.I kept thinking "this is a joke, any minute they will end this torture and put on the really film". Another scene that was so ridiculous and not needed was the sexual interaction between the bakers wife and Cinderella's Prince. I was looking forward to seeing Chris Pines, but his character in this is a sexual, stalking weirdo! Then to go and have them making out in the woods, with a song to accompany it was beyond ridiculous!!! There where families in the theater with kids under the age of 10 watching!
I could go on forever but I will stop here. Bottom line is do not be fooled by the trailer. Do not go see this movie, save your money! Or spend in on another film, because I think anything would be better then this one.