sad_otter Reviews

Westworld (2016–2022)

Millions of dollars for instant potato flakes

[6/10 · 2 November 2023]

Rather than expound I'll try to be succinct. Westworld could have been much better than it ultimately ended up. I couldn't get into it the first time I tried, lost interest halfway thru the episode. But I'm picky so I tried again and engaged that time. I didn't get sucked in, it's never that compelling, but it was enough. However if you do watch this know that it never gets better. I don't think Anthony Hopkins was crucial exactly but it certainly plummets once his character isn't featured. Maybe it's meta in that it's a show about fakery so it feels fake? As the seasons wore on (oh it wears on you) I go the impression the writers got somewhat lost, or perhaps had conflicting goals and just jammed stuff together. It feels like a mish mash of various concepts sorta edited together and smoothed out. With high budget effects so it looks good but less and less underneath.

I believe there was 4 seasons? First season is good. Ed Harris is reliably Ed Harris. I like Jimmi Simpson already and he's quite crucial in my opinion. But for every positive man this show packs on a comenaurate amount of suckitude. Evan Rachel Wood is exactly what you'd get if a scientist managed to transform mashed potatoes into a human and sent it to acting class. Which is about as complimentary as I can get (never really expected to side with Marilyn Manson but you can't reasonably expect anyone to believe you thought he was actually a nice normal guy. Everyone should have a voice but if you say stupid stuff with it you're hurting your cause).

Anyway Westworld. It's alright but it's going to disappoint. Watch season one and two if you like. Then rather than waste your time on Season 3 just rewatch The Matrix. At least Keanu Reeves would actually hit what he was shooting at occasionally. Season 3 is dry vapid city settings then some character will hop out in some kewl outfit, dump a whole mag in 2secs, shockingly not hit a damn thing, say something totally useless and do it all again. Over and over. Season 4 brings some closure, in the sense that flushing a toilet implies an ending, even if you feel lousy and know there's unfinished business. Just writing this is reawakening old irritation (it's been a good year since I watched this last, just randomly saw it and figured I'd try to spare others). I think many of us kept watching merely because it was advertised and felt like we should actually watch HBO since we're paying for it, but wouldn't bother otherwise.

It's not awful but it's not remotely as thought provoking as its trying so hard to be, and it isn't all building towards anything. It's just lumbering from episode to episode making connections when it can. And Ed Harris must've been under contract because his character arc seems almost like it was specifically written to punish the actor himself. It certainly gets worse as the show goes on. Westworld isn't a steaming dog loaf only because it lacks the character. Like it's star I would say it's a steaming bowl of instant mashed potatoes calling itself sci fi. Microwaved instant mashed potatoes.

One thing they did do right was address why of all the historical time periods so many would just want to empty their bank accounts to live in a damn Western. Maybe once or twice but as someone who's spent many hours on horseback it ain't for the pampered hedonistic crowd. Unless you're just in it for the robot rapin'. Ugh, I changed my mind. Westworld sucks and it should've been better. See? It's hard to be succinct because it's so much less than the sum of its parts.

And it's pretty challenging to miss with a P90 at close range. Props for giving Ed Harris the LeMat and actually using it accurately. Certainly one of the more interesting revolver designs. Skip the show and read about that maybe.

After Life (2019–2022)

Quite good, in more ways than one

[8/10 · 11 September 2023]

I like to see things through to the end before reviewing/spewing my limited conclusions online, but I've watched the first two seasons and intend to continue so good enough.

I'm not sure this will fare as well with American audiences as it isn't simply a comedy or a drama or whatever. We like nice easily identifiable food groups here in the states (i.e. Meat, vegetables that adorn said meat, ranch dressing, fruit flavored soda, etc). There's no guns so that's another strike right there. However this show does address loss very well, and considering the subject it's remarkably upbeat. Season two was a bit heavier in my opinion but still thoroughly enjoyable.

Ricky Gervais does an outstanding job. I generally like him in all I've seen (admittedly I never took to The Office much, but I stuck with it more than the US remix). I'd say all the cast is spot on. Overall quite realistic. Whether someone you love has died or left they are all gone and trying to cope with that is the main subject here. Dealing with the fallout, moving on, figuring out if it's even proper to try and move on. About the only thing I've got that comes close to a complaint is that life doesn't go this well as a rule. As in, you don't get a call saying you won the lottery right before you go to kill yourself; you might hear it on the answering machine after you're already paralyzed on the floor or asphyxiating. But hey, it's also entertainment and the show is still plenty bleak at the appropriate times. I suspect people that are currently happy and have all their dominos falling the right way might tune out, but screw them anyway. They're out enjoying themselves or fornicating in blissful ignorance, not watching Netflix and influencing ratings. Smug, non-suicidal weenies that they are.

I'm happy I started watching and wholly committed to seeing it through. Hopefully it hasn't been cancelled yet (I can count on my fingers how many truly good series ended on their own terms, or got to end at all). I'm glad this is out there.

Strays (2023)

Succeeds at its goals

[6/10 · 18 August 2023]

A fairly formulaic comedy but solid. Expect humor of the poop, sex, drugs and slapstick varieties. The talking dog mouths actually distracted me a few times. I'm not critical of cgi as a rule but it was noticeable. Less dog mouths opening in time to the words and more like they put taking human mouths and color matches then. Rob Riggle's police dog can't move its head and speak at the same time; also amusing.

A little crude but generally pulled back at the last second. I laughed several times and never felt bored. On the other hand it's not very long.

This movie quacks like the duck it looks like.

Depp V Heard (2023)

Humanity just gets classier

[6/10 · 17 August 2023]

I read some reviews earlier as I was iffy about watching something like is. Though I agreed with a lot of the negative ones broader points I found their reasoning flawed. I really don't see how one could say this ...documentary? Tabloid thing?...whatever, whoever made it isn't obviously biased toward Heard. How? By showing her side? Such as it was. If they were biased in her favor they did a real poor job of it. Granted she didn't give them much to work with but wow. If you think this was biased what would fair have been? Just 'settle' for crucifying her?

Domestic violence is one of those most malleable legal violations I've ever seen. Did Depp abuse her? Yeah, looks like it, by the definition. And she sure kept up her end. In my state domestic violence is essentially ANY physical contact while you're mad or arguing with the other person. Brush past them in the hallway and your watch or purse scuffs the other person? Sure, arrest em. There's a bias towards men as the aggressors sure. Sometimes the police just take both parties in if they can't figure it out. It's really a matter of who decides to take it outside the relationship and report it first as they control the narrative and decide when the clock starts and when it all starts to count. That's a big advantage.

We'll never know for sure.. that's true. I do know that it takes two to have a violent relationship. Maybe one started, maybe the other. That rapidly becomes irrelevant if you're both fighting and staying. I realize some unfortunate few are isolated and cowed into submission but Amber Heard is/was a celebrity. She could've blinked two times into the cameras constantly pointed at her. There's excuses and reasons to stay, many that Amber deployed, but it comes off rather less a final cry for help then a pulling of the nuclear option and busting his ass kind of thing. This series was overall a fair rehash of the major points, though moving special by any means. It's a documenting of the experience through someone with a lot of online exposure.

Whether you watched the trial or this the big points remain the same:

-Johnny is what I guess you'd call a functional substance abuser/alcoholic that has anger and control issues when under the influence.

• Amber has more constant mental issues regardless of substances. Bipolar or something in that realm. Maybe just PTSD but she's got a funny way of showing it.

• They both oscillate moods and get angry then nice and had been at war for quite some time.

I strongly feel anyone should be able to get help for domestic violence. However at this point with this system I feel it should be completely limited to separation and counseling with no punitive aspect. The same laws that protect a cowed survivor of chronic abuse easily and often get plastered to generally stable people that let themselves be driven nuts in isolated incidents. Abusers every past transgression related or not are generally admissible while the victim can just happen to have accused their last half a dozen previous partners that had never been violent before too and that all gets sealed for their privacy as a delicate survivor. I get why this stuff was put into place but it's so easily exploited. Imagine when a man uses the exploits that and see how you feel about it. There's probably a few guys hiding in the bathroom and crying in the corner of the shower fully dressed but it's not the majority. I get solidarity but it's just too difficult to accurately punish events in a private relationship barring apparent wounds/evidence.

They're both guilty. She probably did drop a deuce on his bed. You go girl. He's an angry drunk and they were pretty much the worst personalities for each others bad sides. Well the guy hung out with Hunter Thompson; did she expect a calm sober pacifist? Everyone should've kept quiet, separate as gracefully as possible and not take it public. With celebrities that's essentially fighting dirty. That Op-Ed was just like the anonymous "I don't want to say who cuz I won't sink that low ...BUT (assassinates the character of person whose identity everyone knows anyway)." It was an ugly embarrassing slog for both of them and wow she got the worst of it. Oh well. You took it into the court of public opinion. Anonymous callous public opinion. Good luck with that.

This series did rely very strongly on a ton of YouTube and TikTok personalities, none of which I recognize and just come off as tacky and dumb (am I suppose to care what a guy in a Deadpool mask said about something?). All that was an aspect as far as the backlash against Heard but if you found that to be a running theme of the trial or integral to it that's just your experience but not everyone's. Random people thought stuff about this. Both ways. Great, so skip all of it.

I recommend this to anyone that managed to totally skip all this as it happened. Otherwise nothing new. I did like the poop emoji with sprinkles Netflix used for the thumbnail though. Not the most cerebral humor but I enjoyed it.

The Flash (I) (2023)

I actually enjoyed this

[7/10 · 21 June 2023]

Much better than I thought and reviews led me to believe. Superwoman really worked for me. Michael Keaton was good. Ezra Miller wasn't hyper annoying. I could've done without the updated flash effects and the suit but not too bad. It's funny, fairly interesting and the plot isn't super convoluted or especially ridiculous (for a superhero movie).

Saw reviews complaining about inconsistent CGI quality. For most of the movie I couldn't figure out why; clearly an artistic choice. But then Chris Reeve pops up and yeah, that was pretty bad. I think it's the result of applying the stylistic effects they'd been using on the still-alive actors to an already not awesome deepfake but whatever the reason it was jarring and not necessary. There were a lot of nods and Easter eggs they would've been fine skipping.

So not perfect but nothing ruined it for me. Batman in the beginning really didn't sound like Affleck to me. They gave their Batman a healthy dose of Christopher Nolan Batman that I could've done without (what possible reason is there for having vents on your breastplate. Do his pectorals generate too much wind resistance when he flexes?)

Anyway worth seeing. Stands up well with the other DC movies, such as they are. I really don't see what the problem is if you liked all they other stuff. This is easily better than Aquaman and Justice League and Snyder-bloat Justice League. Yeah Ezra Miller is going through an annoying as all hell/total trainwreck phase lately. But hey, who hasn't sorta kidnapped an Indian and hoarded guns and acted like a total b!#h@$$ after they got arrested for something stupid and avoidable.. yet again, then whined about it/their/thouest pronouns to someone that made the mistake of addressing them with respect? That old chestnut. Just a steaming hot mess of human being but considering all that he's gotta be pretty talented since I was still able to enjoy his character in the movie.

I wouldn't be expecting a sequel though. Oh yeah, Michael Shannon was predictably good also, though not utilized all that much.

Extraction II (2023)

Not too shabby

[7/10 · 20 June 2023]

Pretty good overall. It was refreshing to see an action hero dressed for cold weather. Something you don't see too often. Lots o' action and shooting and long takes grafted together etc

It certainly isn't wise to settle for just knocking down a bad guy and letting him fight another day. This movie really hammers that one home. You could chalk that up to our hero not killing unless necessary except it's really not that kind of movie and said bad guy is absolutely going to kill more people if not stopped so there's really no excuse but laziness. What really boggles my mind is how it plays out: good guy knocks down the bad guy-literally knocked down a floor lower (in a high rise)-then the next scene is said bad guy up on the roof now causing trouble for the the good guys. Then somehow our hero-who was closer to the roof and not laying in a pile of broken glass-doesn't get up there until AFTER the bad guy. Hoping that was just an editing mistake or something. Maybe they cut out the scene where our good guy stops to pound his hourly protein shake and falls behind.

(And just for kicks, I'm that same sequence he gets shot in the hand with a 7.62 from maybe 4ft away and not only does his hand not blow apart but actually continues to function and support his body weight. This isn't a universe of super strong grabbers either: earlier he tore another guys hand in half. So yeah, there's being picky and there's total suspension of disbelief. "Oh well, he had armored gloves." Eh, no. Even if he did soft armor wouldn't stop a rifle round. And even if he somehow had tiny little SAPI plates for his gloves the force of the bullet would've broken most of the bones in his hand. Strange because they get a lot right, like suppressed weapons being plenty loud still especially in enclosed spaces. But too many Thor powers carried over to the hero in this one).

My other gripe isn't specific to this film by any means. Speaking from experience, having a handgun go off near your head is waaay more than mildly inconvenient. If nothing else you'd be partially deafened and yelling for the rest of the day (think the aftermath of the loudest concert you've ever been to, then crash a car into something and try to walk around like everything's cool). Again, this is fairly common nowadays with the mixed fist/gun fights. The John Wick movies are shameless in this way. They reload accurately now but the whole proximity to explosions aspect gets played way down. I guess shockwaves are hard to visually convey but this doesn't strike me as a movie catering to people uninterested in firearms/combat. Not trashing the movie as a whole but getting this stuff right wouldn't have changed much. Well, except for the good guys totally not making it alive from the second big action fiesta.

Oh yeah, one more: I realize the hero is supposed to be in great shape (though not 100% with only 6 weeks to train from near convalescence). However, after a solid ten minutes of constant fighting through a prison riot and whatnot he's totally good and not even a lurker but out of breath. At least make him a little sweaty. Sure it's snowing and maybe he's a fitness nut and total cardio monster but he just fought like 30 dudes while wearing a winter coat!! Just throw in a quick forehead wipe and a "phew, that sucked" or something. Just to keep it real. The first movie was much better in that respect.

But yeah, overall good stuff if you like lots of choreographed homicide (that doesn't require you buy into an entire society of wealthy well-dressed assassins that apparently only kill each other).

Black Mirror: Beyond the Sea (2023) Season 6, Episode 3

Pretty good...

[7/10 · 16 June 2023]

...but a few minutes in I couldn't help but wonder about one thing: Why wouldn't they just send the android copies into space instead? They apparently don't eat so less upkeep and they're arguably more expendable. I was hoping the show would address that at some point but not so much. The whole episode's basically an object lesson on why it makes way more sense to send robots on a 6yr space mission in a mostly automated spaceship. Rather than send humans and all the food and air and water poopin that comes along with them,

Other than that it was a good episode. Glad Black Mirror is still going. Sort of a weird character for Aaron Paul but good for him. Playing nervous sweaty guys all the time has to get old.

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

I have some thoughts

[6/10 · 15 May 2023]

They really didn't stick the ending so hot did they? Apparently this was a standalone "bunker" movie that was later grafted into the Cloverfield... universe? Niche? I don't know; the first one was very underwhelming and I probably saw the second one but drawing a total blank at the moment. Anyway if the ending feels different that's because it is.

The bulk of the film worked for me. The tub of acid was a bit odd and the whole "plan" to go outside was poorly conceived but fair enough. Maybe those two just weren't real quick thinkers. So turns out a person can be paranoid, right to be, and a pedophile all at once. Okay, I can accept that. It would make all the persons statements questionable in retrospect. So most of a movie goes by then the Escape. I get her motivation but destroying the place on your way out was a bad call. Granted that wasn't entirely her direct doing but still, think things through. Though it's not specified the coexisting montage implies they're down there for some time. Weeks, maybe months. There was time to think more.

So escape and she's outside now. Cool. Birds are chirping so perhaps the air's not so toxic after all. Of course the weird lady trying to get in specifically said "it barely touched me" which suggests an entity or visible cloud or something. Freaks out after ripping her pseudo-Hazmat suit then promptly takes the mask off seconds later. Okay, confidence again. Then "oh damn, there's a spaceship flying around. I'd better find a car so they won't accidentally pass me by." Sets off her own car alarm, hides in a shed, vague aliens, yadda yadda. Then tosses a Molotov cocktail into the alien spaceship vagina and boom, blows it up. Go girl. Then she does what anyone being hunted by alien spacecraft would do: drive straight down the road with the lights on. Then there's a radio transmission, that they were I guess just out of range of the whole movie, and is presented with a choice: flee to a safe zone or hang a left and heed the resistance's call for people with combat or medical experience. Well, it's already been established that she wanted to be a fashion designer so no experience there. Oh wait, she did stitch up a wound (that wasn't bleeding anymore so totally unnecessary but whatever) and then she sorta barely escaped the guy later by knocking stuff over a lot, so of course she's the next Sarah Conner and off she goes. Any other cast and this would be a complete dog turd of a movie but the actors prop it up. Should've hacked the end back off. Studios never interfere when you want them to. So it's an 80% good movie with a whole movies worth of bad writing and mistakes crammed in at the end. But, despite the JJ Abrams exposure, no obnoxious lens flares. So that's something. I finally watched this after all this time so that's something (used to see it at the video store so clearly it's been out awhile). Enjoy, until the end.

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

Going to go take a shower for a couple hours now

[7/10 · 27 April 2023]

Well, it's a worthy Evil Dead movie so mission accomplished there. If it was called something else you'd be thinking, "These guys really liked Evil Dead." You've got blood and horror and evil entities with disgusting and somewhat immature sensibilities. Not much humor though alas. There's an eyeball part that got me but mostly it's a gore slog. Nothing particular nasty towards women specifically so that as nice (I'm a guy for what it's worth. Personally I really dislike horror movies that lean into rape and sexual violation. Seems like a cheap way to get a visceral reaction, and I already feel horrible hearing about stuff like that. And I suspect people that don't aren't going to suddenly see the err of their ways from a movie so for me it's just exploiting something horrible and possibly giving such people entertainment that appeals to them so no bueno).

Anyway, what else? Shotgun, check. Chainsaw, check. Old book bound in human skin you totally shouldn't open or read, check. Seriously, I get the urge to investigate and old bank vault That's relatable. Most people are poor after all (if that sounds exaggerated then lucky you, you're a minority) and this family/anyone in that apartment building certainly is. Going into a sinkhole right after an earthquake is unwise/embracing natural selection. But when you find a bunch of papers and old albums wouldn't you keep liking for like MONEY or gold or something? Teen DJ suddenly gets scholarly. But not the most awkward way to get the story going.

One odd observation: there's a few things that don't make much sense and they're all short and not necessary to the story so somewhat confusing. The power is out. Okay. But the elevator still gets some. Need to use these electronics...

"Oh damn, the power's out." 'No worries, I can fix that" then promptly powers a turntable and amplifier with some 6v flashlight batteries... that she SOLDERS together. Maybe it was a solar powered soldering iron? Oh wait, all is darkness. Except there's still some lights and an electric gate and a freaking wood chipper are all hooked up to a generator I guess. Just kinda confusing. Skip the whole power's out thing. The place was gloomy as all hell when the lights worked anyway. Eh, picky I guess. The bookend scenes were also sort of odd. My best guess is to fill time. I can think of a few horror movies that were definitely over at the end but the possibility of a sequel is basically a given. Especially when you're watching what's essentially part 5 of a series.

All in all it's a solid offering. If you want to go see a horror movie this won't disappoint. It's a 7 for horror and say a 6 for a movie in general.

Oh yeah, "Mom, you don't look so good" was amusing too but again not much humor.

Mother! (2017)

Might want to 'spoil' it for yourself prior to viewing

[7/10 · 25 April 2023]

Not the story necessarily but the broad strokes. Who the main characters are and the basic concept. I guess naming the characters was too spot on. I hadn't really heard or seen anything about this so I had to figure it out. In as much as I actually did. It can be a mighty frustrating watch at times, wanting characters to just REACT the way you should already!! Once you've seen it you sort of know better their motivations. But if you just go into this thing cold it's going to be harder. My sum knows was it's called "mother," it's the couple and these other two other people show up, and hard to explain but the end's crazy. Accurate I suppose.

I found myself thinking of this movie I saw way back when called "Houseguests." It wasn't like good or anything but it's my earliest memory of the "unwelcome guests totally overstep but don't just get kicked out for some reason" genre. There's actually quite of few examples (tons if you count sitcoms). Most often comedies. Supposedly comedy anyway. Anyway kinda like that for awhile then it "gets crazy" but I started to lose interest. Takes a big breath and pulled itself together more towards the end.

It was okay. I usually find 10 degrees of scoring more than sufficient but this one is a hard 6.5. Which means practically nothing now. Sometimes a low score is a recommendation for me, if the film in question has been blatantly targeted by belligerent buttholes. That's about it. I'm not a solid fan of this director. Though some of that's because he's done a good job but I'm depicting things I've found unpleasant. Or too relatable. Whatever, I liked the Fountain and wrestling swans and all that. This one's alright but it's hard for me to like any movie too much knowing millions of dollars were spent on it. Like "it's good but I wouldn't watch it again." We've all said or heard that, right? Well, that was 60 million dollars well spent. However I do appreciate pretty much any entertainment that addresses the "humans vs the only world we've ever known" issue. Pesky at it is. Yes, there's some lame cheeseball stuff out there but I just c find it much more forgivable. I mean we are killing our planet. It's like you're blasting down the freeway in a really nice really fast car and you cut your seatbelt off and start shooting at your front tire. You know it's a supremely unsafe thing to do but until it actually happens... So I can get behind this movie a bit more, now that I know what the funk I was watching.

I doth bestoweth a 7ith.

Renfield (2023)

Weird pacing

[6/10 · 24 April 2023]

Good.. but. The rhythm is off, pacing is funky. Felt to me like parts were missing or like this was a recap for 3 seasons of series. Take a cool song you like and cut out a couple seconds here and there; that's the basic effect.

It's definitely about Renfield, as opposed to Dracula as seen thru Renfield. A bad boss movie mixed with an 80's cop movie and any John-Cusack-likes-a-girl movie, with a shot of Tim Burton. Cage is great. Giving him a few more minutes on screen would've been nice. Nicholas Hoult is doing his thing. Awkwafina shoots people. That's her main interaction with people. There's some glorious violence throughout so that's covered. Should've had Bruce Campbell in there somewhere.

The bad guys are too lame and ridiculous for me but it's not too bad. The story though... there's a bizarre mashup of 80's movies here: the city is functionally the same as Detroit in Robocop: There's bad guys and dirty cops and a few good guys. Awkwafina's character is a bit less funny and more homicidal than I expected. She embraces the concept of other cops being bad guys super fast. Her character reminded me of those 80's Whoopi Goldberg action movies... just swap Renfield for Sam Elliot. Bam. And there's the whole dorky guy likes girl thing, but she's too busy and/or not really feeling it and he's eating bugs and the work situation.

So it's an enjoyable, okay movie but it's close to being an actually good one. And it feels fixable, and therefore irritating since you've gotten this instead. Or maybe I kept spacing out and missed important details.. not a great reaction either... Worth watching just temper your expectations.

Faster (2010)

Not great but sorta worth it

[6/10 · 12 March 2023]

Revenge movie with caricature characters. It's hard to describe the vibe. Felt like something a talented 14yr old would make. There's a little quarter turn twist that even I saw miles away but that's fine. The Rock basically just GOES for the first half. He trudges purposefully until it's socially acceptable to just run. Then he gets in a car and it gets really funny. He has an extremely limited set of driving "moves" which are, in no particular order: put it in 1st and whomp on the gas until the fishtailing stops, drive really fast down highway, slam on the brakes then do the first move while turning, oh and slam on the brakes then get out and kill someone. Which sounds kind of dark but it's really not. Heroin addiction's no big whoop either. Quitting is as hard as halfhearted lying to your girlfriend with the option to mean it later. Literally no sweat or writhing legs, abject misery, none of that. Even the guys that get executed are mostly kinda cool with it. They're not thrilled, don't get me wrong, but they get it, "he's just doing what he's got to do and my face is in the way. C'est la vie." Seriously, in this movie you just have to be badass enough and you can shrug off close range gunshots to the face and neck by sheer determination. If you want it enough you'll refuse to die is the logic I reckon.

Some of the weirdness doesn't work though. The hyper-lame hitman with the British Tom Cruise thing going on just sucks. Same with Girlfriend. Oh yeah, Tom Berenger is in it too for some reason. People late to the movie would've missed it. Anyway it's not a "good movie" but got low expectation visual cannon fodder it's pretty cool. It's like a Nic Cage movie that got better people. Good times.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

Well I quite liked it

[7/10 · 9 February 2023]

Shyamalan sure generates a lot of opinions. Hate, praise (but with qualifiers) and the indifferent. From a purely capitalist standpoint he's a success. People watch his movies and like them and watch more. Or they watch them and dislike them and still watch more. It's awesome. Well, except for Last Airbender haha

This one's on the better side of his movies. There is a general feeling that it falls short. Premise is good but.. For me the problem is it's presented as "Would you kill someone you love in order to save the other 25-100% of humanity?" But in reality it's more, "Would you kill someone you love to save everyone.. based on the word of four weirdos that broke into your cabin?" Four weirdos that don't really explain the whole thing all that well either.

I did enjoy the chemistry between the four intruders, or in many ways their lack of. They come off more as coworkers than cultists. Overall this would likely be rated much higher with a different name attached. We get too picky. Worth a watch. I wouldn't expect any big twisteroo at the end. It's not really like that.

Echo 3 (2022–2023)

Hit and miss

[6/10 · 28 January 2023]

It's not bad per say or great. Ten episodes could've been shaved down to eight without losing anything integral. Has a certain type of cinematography, kind of a watered down Tony Scott style (think Man on Fire remake). Also just btw I couldn't stop thinking Luke Evans should've played Merle on The Walking Dead. Certainly similar features to Norman Reedus.

The story? Well, muddled. Which is life but you're presenting us with this particular sliver so what's your point? My capsule review: rich guy is dates poorer girl and becomes bff's with redneck bro. Poor siblings kinda resent rich guy as he's had a life of optimal troubles whereas they've had a really hard life, even for poor people which is hard enough already (another thing no one can really understand without living it; the utter lack of options regardless of thought or intention. To pull yourself up by your bootstraps you have to at least be able to afford some boots. Or have family to help. Many just don't). Anyway the dudes become supercool Spec-ops operators and girl marries boy (the rich one she's not related to). They don't seem particularly happy for newlyweds and there's resentments all around. They have trouble on an op in the first episode but it doesn't ultimately effect much. So the wife is going to travel to Columbia to study plants for her addiction research. Rich hubby gets a gps tracker from work and wants her to take it as a precaution. She's resistant but plays it off as a trust issue. This is slightly weird but he goes overboard and hides it in the lining of her luggage. Fast forward to Columbia, inevitable dudes with AK's show up and kidnap her gringa booty. That sucks but then they find the fancy military tracker and now they think she's CIA and cancel the ransom. Meanwhile bro tells hubby that well yeah she's sorta kinda a CIA subcontractor but no biggie, just the usual thing going traveling researchers do for extra cash. But it would be bad if she had any military equipment hidden in her stuff. They want to rescue her, she wants out of the crappy prison black site/cocaine factory/daycare center she's stuck in.

Annnddd what follows for the bulk of the show is her imprisoned and the guys going to Columbia and trying to get her back. There's a lot of tension at times, there's action and chases and talking and a whole bunch of shots of various stuff. It's not boring but I kept thinking about how I wasn't as bored as I thought I'd be. Basically a whole bunch of people get killed, even a few white ones though the ratio is like one honky per twenty South Americans (I'm from the Wonder Bread tribe myself just btw). I didn't track it but I'd guess like 60-70 people are gunned down trying to save this one American woman. Who isn't totally innocent anyway. Morally it's pretty bad: wife of American with means is kidnapped so they shoot up a foreign country and break a bunch of passes to get her back cuz...well, that's what he wants. And what her brother wants too. At the end I guess you could ponder whether it was worth it. Good luck there. Also I have no idea why it's called Echo 3. Unless that was someone's call sign in the first episode and I missed it...I don't know, guess I've got to call it something. Basically a much more stylish tasteful series along the lines of The Terminal List: highly trained US soldiers doing what they want off duty because they're upset and maybe possibly even feel justified but don't even really pretend. South America has corruption problems, you learn that too. Good to know.

My biggest dude gripe: the ridiculously quiet suppressors, aka "silencers." I'd dismiss it as nitpicky but events in the story would've played out differently if their guns weren't defying physics so easily. Those bullets are traveling at supersonic speeds so aside from the actual detonation from firing there's still going to be an extremely audible crack anywhere nearby. Rather than the subdued hamster farts these guys guns piffle out. (Despite its flaws "Lone Survivor" has some of the most realistic depictions of sound suppressors I've seen).

On the flip side they are pretty realistic about shooting guns in public places i.e. The wrong people get shot. It's hard to watch John Wick running through a crowded party shooting countless goons point blank in the face and the bullets just stop and everyone else is fine. Again perhaps nitpicky but seems there's a lot of faux realism in movies now. Bullets go fast. Just cuz they punch thru some goon in a cheap suit doesn't mean they're done putting holes in stuff.

So as a thinky movie it's not that great. The ends don't really justify the means at all. As an action movie it lags frequently and manages to create at technicalities while still being rather unexciting. I enjoyed it more than I didn't but I'd say pass. It's ten episodes and it does feel like work at times. Honestly I probably would've lost interest had I been watching these as they were released.

Midnight Mass (2021)

"Damn, none of us have shovels.."

[7/10 · 15 December 2022]

You'll have to bear with it during the monologues but it's worth it. Seriously though, it's like 20% monologues. Not heavy, exposition so much as just kinda going on and on. That being said there wasn't much that obviously needed cutting. I don't know, these folks are uncharacteristically good listeners. Some of the questions raised are interesting and the parallels can be hilarious.

Some of the bigger moral decisions get sidestepped eventually due to a collective lack of shovel technology. I mean c'mon: you're at peak physical condition, you've got several hours, your continued existence is in jeopardy and it all depends on digging a hole? You'd dig the hole. If that's an unrealistically high expectation that no one thinks of (to be fair exactly one person sorta does way too late) than perhaps y'all deserve to die. More. Err yeah.

Aside from that detail it's good. Good enough that didn't detract from enjoying it.

Smile (V) (2022)

Err.. don't say "cheese" I suppose?

[7/10 · 14 November 2022]

Well, I liked it. Has some inconsistencies but nothing debilitating. Odd as I watched a movie with similar plot issues recently (Barbarian) that I didn't particularly like. I guess sometimes the journey is more important than the destination. Overall this is pretty good. And as a bonus you get a new reason to TRY AND STOP someone from killing themselves, aside from the whole decent thing to do business that's going out of fashion in modern decision making. I realize if someone's waving a gun around and acting crazy you'd likely choose to keep your distance, but a pottery shard? I suspect, actually I know, that people treating emergency psychiatric patients touch upon that sort of thing in training. But hey, there's been "other chains" so maybe the malevolent beastie has to occasionally take a time out... but gets to restart again. I don't know, I'll ponder it awhile. The urge to do so is a good indicator the movie is decent. Some plot holes I could care less about resolving. Pretty good if you don't need the rules all clear cut (it possessed traumatized people to ultimately kill them but prior to that takes a couple test drives to whack a cat and whatnot). See what you think. Better than Barbarian for what that's worth.

P. S. The "did you break another glass line" is a great example of humor and horror subtlety working together.

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022)

"I really like Weird Al but I thought this was going to be serious..."

[8/10 · 4 November 2022]

Really? REALLY? I don't see how those two statements could possibly coexist. "I wanted Weird Al's real story." Okay, go look on Wikipedia I guess? Eh, just kidding. I can totally relate: I took my 4yr old to see Silence of the Lambs and that one didn't fit up to my totally bizarre expectations either, so I gave it a 1/10 review too (I kinda hope someone actually checks). I grew up in the 80's. I loved Weird Al. If this has been a serious movie now THAT would've been weird. I trip out we're all on the same planet with the same physics and everything sometimes. Crazy life all works out as well as it does all things considered. Enjoy.

Night Sky (2022)

I'm kinda embarrassed to be writing this, but...

[5/10 · 29 October 2022]

I just can't hang. I generally can't stand negative reviews about how boring and a "waste of their time" it was and oh btw I only bothered to watch 1-2 episodes but I'm going to unilaterally downrate the whole thing. So I'm not going to say all that. There was another sci-fi-ish series on Apple TV (the Missing? Arrival? Something like that. Think it had Sam Neil). Anyway I watched 5 episodes of that and couldn't think of any way to describe it expect people did ambiguous stuff very slowly. If you need to set up multiple characters and bring 'em all together that's fine and challenging but you've got to throw a few bones along the way. It's not that my time is ever so precious but I'd like to reasonably confident there's a point or some vague clue where we're heading. I just don't need to watch a new series that bad.

First episode was fine. Sissy Spacek might put off some, she's always kinda been like that. JK Simmons is pretty much always great. I don't know if that's due to him being an excellent actor so much as a guy you wish you were related to. The second episode seriously gave me doubts. I don't think I could spoil it as nothing really happened. Everyone takes another baby step in character development. The weird shady neighbor guy is still running for podunk town office and still shady and weird. The Argentinian family still has a secret and there's a weird dude. Mysterious Jesus dude is still mysterious and hiding something. Old guy loves his wife, she's sure she's special. Which is fine but took quite awhile to learn very little. That's not necessarily bad but I don't know, maybe I've got too much going on in my life to care. I decided to take a leap and read some spoilers. So I have and if they spoiled it then oh well. I'm glad I did I suppose. Seems to be a lot of setup for a bigger story we're not going to get as I believed it's been canceled. Oh well. I hate to discourage sci-fi but this appears to be a people story about space. Or maybe a history story. I dont know. I feel bad but I'm punching out for now. I'll vote average just so as not to mess up the curve with an unqualified opinion.

UPDATE: okay I plowed thru another episode. I really don't enjoy contributing to the it's-so-slow crowd but... it's SOOOOOO SLOOOOW. I started bumping it forward and it didn't help much. Sissy Spacek walks into a room with a glass of water: I hit the 10sec skip forward three times... now she's sitting and looks alike she's probably about to take a drink from the glass of water. Cut to weird neighbor: still weird. Lemme guess, he's going to pursue his unhealthy suspicions and slightly endanger but not really affect the overall story. Just going to assume I'm right. Constipation is more eventful than this. I'm sorry, I tried. If the reviews were more polarized maybe I'd stick but damn. I'm tempted to watch the last episode and see if I'm all that lost. Yikes.

In space no one can hear you snore.

The Patient (2022)

Polarizing for the silliest reasons

[8/10 · 27 October 2022]

I did a little due diligence before watching this. I read the non-spoiler reviews (like you're probably doing right now), took a general overview to see if it was being review bombed for being woke or some such (yes, "woke" is such a stupid term but the underlying concept shouldn't be repellent). Or, to be fair, the other grievous entertainment sins like having too well funded and popular to be good or engaging. At the time I'm writing this it's pretty balanced. There's good reviews and negative ones with common themes. More good than bad overall.

The big faux pas seems to be that the episodes are too short...which becomes irrelevant once it's released so an odd thing to permanently downgrade it for, and that the ending is wrong or bad. Well the first few episodes are short but... they get longer!! If one can reign in comprehensive judgement long enough to actually watch the whole thing. And if you don't like it off the bat then you only wasted 20mins of your valuable watching TV time so maybe they're being courteous? It's a solid 3hrs at least. If it was longer we'd see the same complaints that it's all filler and should've been shorter. Easier to be critical than creative I suppose. I guess it might've been better to double up the episodes; five longer ones instead of the ten given. But so what? If you're unhappy it ended too soon then doesn't that kinda imply you wanted to keep watching it? If that's your dealbreaker then I'm going to make a leap that you're possibly hard to please. Picky mofos out there. "The food was good but I had to take all these bites!! They should've given me a burrito." Okay kids, so sorry. Shouldn't have bothered. Perhaps serial killers aren't the only people that could benefit from some therapy/perspective.

The ending? With all the discontent I suspected it would be unsatisfying or too open to interpretation, not spelled out, the clearly drawn BAD guys didn't get what was coming (cuz life totally works like that usually). I thought the ending was plausible and realistic though indeed not super satisfying. It wasn't unsatisfying though. I'm hard pressed to think of a conclusion to the depicted situation that would be better. If there's an overarching morale I suppose it would be that therapy can help, even if (and especially if) you're inclined to think you couldn't possibly benefit from it. That working at your problems, no matter how slowly or how frustrating, is progress. That not getting what you want isn't necessarily a bad thing. Basically if you hate the ending you're likely the type that would most benefit from understanding it, so perhaps give it a bit more thought. Maybe hold off on the criticism and judgement unless/until you have a better alternative to offer. Or even just a different one.

Only thing nagging for me is around the middle there was a sort of clue that gets left and we're told one thing by a character yet we're shown something else yet nothing comes of it. But... MAYBE I'm just missing something. We all have our blind spots (another thing this series will show you if you let it) so eventually ask yourself: if everything sucks so bad, isn't it just maybe possible the problem is you rather than everyone and everything else? Opinions aside, just statistically it's unlikely. I imagine blind people feel like there's too much stuff to trip over but we're not going to ban curbs (okay, funky metaphor but you get the drift). Anyway, I'm blathering too now. Dang.

Hope you enjoy the show. You might not but part of the fun is the journey. If you don't get that you're probably zero fun in bed if nothing else. Ttfn. (Oh yeah, David Allen Grier was good)

Barbarian (2022)

Decent descent into darkness movie

[6/10 · 25 October 2022]

The thing about horror movies, and I am a fan, is they're really not all that great overall. A movie that happens to have horrible things generally causes more horror. This one is alright but I think back to better horror movies and they're really not that great either. So being critical afterwards kinda feels like going on a rollercoaster then complaining that you didn't go anywhere.

As to Barbarian, hmmm.. ignore the name. It's as good as any but not like Conan is going to be popping up. A couple things sorta got me thinking there would be ...more. Like if someone said, "You ain't seen nothing yet" you'd probably think there was more to see. Here, not so much. I'd keep an eye on the clock and adjust your expectations accordingly. Other parts? Well, sometimes people just have bad dreams I guess. There's some obligatory "why would you do that again?" decisions where logical behavior would make for a much shorter movie so okay, fair enough. The actual goings on are less interesting than what it doesn't end up exploring. Such as why certain characters end up having a profoundly bad day while others don't. It's alright but could've been more. Id call it a swing and a miss but it's more like they just bunted and called it good (I think I'm using that metaphor right; not a baseball fan).

The Twilight Zone: Ovation (2020) Season 2, Episode 4

Clawing to the bottom

[4/10 · 16 August 2022]

I still have 4-5 episodes left between the two seasons but this one currently holds the title for most craptastic. Yeah it's very similar to the comedian episode. I was distracted a couple times so I didn't see the first coin handoff. But figured it out easy enough, magic coin. The only time this really shined for me was the very literal applause aspect, but it was sporadically applied. The sedated heart patient was compelled to clap but the two security dudes at the end didn't let go.

The sister...hmm. See I thought when the magazine came with "Mynx" on the cover that she recognized her sister. I mean, who else could it be? A struggling artist/lake diver? What if you get the coin but have no outwardly noticeable talent to applaud? Mainly I don't see why the sister was immune when the father was not, except to force the twist at the end. All of which I could've shined had the episode been good but it just wasn't.

However, this was by far the best narrator closer of all of them. Not just due to the lack of lines. But slogging thru the whole thing for a mild smirk at the end just ain't worth it. Could've been okay maybe but should've abandoned this and borrowed inspiration from a different original Twilight Zone episode, rather than refry one of the "new" ones that's already a redo. This show is more like training wheels sci-fi for people the have lived extremely literal lived up until now.

The Twilight Zone: 8 (2020) Season 2, Episode 6

Octopussies

[4/10 · 14 August 2022]

Octopi don't have bones so they're squishy. Okay that's great but take an octopus shaped ballon and try stuffing it down a 2" pipe and see how well that works out. Can they really do that? Alright, maybe I'll look it up. That's the sum total of thoughts provoked by this episode.

Episode 6 is called "8" because... octopus has 8 legs? I guess, whatever. Maybe it's an IQ limit? Just kidding, sort of. Moliusks be smart mofos apparently. Alright. Does being smart help you go to a mental happy place when your leg is being sawed off? Guess so. Chinese lady isn't really a scientist but a spy. Maybe should've made her Japanese or North Korean just to be on the safe side.

This was like a first draft busted out in a hurry. It's mostly a crappy "Deepstar 6" ripoff (which ripped off Leviathan, itself begat from The Abyss et cetera... cutting edge stuff). Whittle down the cast and it's more of an us vs them critter feature... I feel like if I try hard enough I could maybe come to a semi-satisfying conclusion but is it worth the effort when I'm connecting dots they couldn't bother to? Another review I read summed up this show as slapping conclusions at the end that stand earned by the preceding story. It's like watching a cooking show about roast beef then in the last minute there's a salad sitting there. What? Where did that come from? Just stop.

The Twilight Zone: The Blue Scorpion (2019) Season 1, Episode 9

Yeah, i have some questions...

[5/10 · 14 August 2022]

If there was a moral to this one it's lost on me. Yet the ending makes it clear it's not supposed to be ambiguous. Is this anti-gun? No, not really. The gun in question arguably helps a lot. The gun seems to generate some unhealthy obsession (in a guy going through several super heavy life changes already) but it's also willing to let you move on...unless you kill yourself. The dad thing is confusing. He was a lifelong hippie yet he had a secret cozy gun safe ...or converted an old dryer.. why suicide? I figured the gun did it but maybe he just shot himself because he couldn't find anyone else named "Otis" or something.

What else? The gun is scared of the dark..sort of. More like it just prefers a fresh breeze. It can go out at night. It can shoot regular "unassigned" bullets. The effect it has once used is somewhat magical (see ex-wife's bizarre reaction). Is the gun constrained to victims with 4-letter names? Seems like if you're a Christopher or Juan-Carlos you're safe. Maybe the font scales down if it wants to cap a guy named Maximillian. No conclusions there.

I guess it's still bad to leave loaded handguns laying around. The gun proved it could move itself around some so chucking it in a pond ain't much of a solution. Then the two little Gollums that find it at the end: kids that old just putting guns at each other are going to get themselves killed sooner or later, gun or no. Still he could've chucked the slide and the lower in different directions. The best closer I can come up with is, "objects can be bad if you let yourself get obsessed with them.. but if you do it will all work out pretty sweet career-wise and you'll get a smooth divorce then moving past your unhealthy obsession will be easy peasy." That's a bit long for the 2-3 lame lines they finish on so I guess they hoped I'd they threw enough at you you'll assume you're missing something. You're not, it's bad writing. Better than the space one though so there's that. Kinda like saying polio is better than cancer but whatevs.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

"Eat my review!'

[7/10 · 17 July 2022]

Alrighty. Going in I had higher MCU expectations than usual since this is following Ragnarok which was fantastic. But after the deluge of mixed reviews and coming off the grinding gear stall of a movie that was Dr. Strange 2 (still shaking that mess off) I think my expectations were managed/balanced out. So my definitive conclusion...ehhh pretty good.

Despite having the same director and cast essentially making a sequel..to a third installment no less.. there's some notable differences here. The length for one. IMDb has this listed as 1hr 58 mins but we were out of the theater a flat 2hrs later. Minus previews and credits it's just a shorter movie, yet it covers more in-world time so felt emptier. As opposed to Ragnarok being jam packed the whole way through. Also, the different antagonists make for wildly different tones. To be sure Christian Bale isn't my go-to Jeff Goldblum chaser, though he follows Cate Blanchet better. Regardless Ragnarok's villains were much friendlier and humorous. And it had that family squabble vibe to take the edge off. I will say Gorr is one of the more relatable superhero villains I've seen: in his shoes (err..white sandals?) I'd have done pretty much the same exact thing he did. Evil sword offers you vengeance for the daughter that just died in your arms for some dismissive jerk of a god? Sure, let's get choppin. I think the movie would've benefited from a scene or two of Gorr taking out other gods. As it is you're left more taking it on faith that he's a scary problem. Still, good bad guy/lingering Bale worries ultimately unfounded.

There's a humorous little montage early on of all the loved ones Thor has lost throughout his cinematic existence, some like Loki multiple times. Heavy stuff old Thor has gone through. Maybe that's another factor in Ragnarok's greatness: despite nightmares of Asgards doom at the hands of a flaming skyscraper demon; a sister literally from hell, being enslaved by Jeff Goldblum, etc it's really not a big downer. Yeah Odin dies/turns into Norwegian sparkles but he was old and it seemed almost a choice rather than some ripping away thing like losing all those other people. Love and Thunder just has heavier material. The whole kidnapping and terrorizing children thing oddly works but there's just ain't a lot of comedy gold to be mined from Cancer. Jane's back!!!! With Cancer. See? It even killed my paragraph

It's still funny though. The Stormbreaker jokes worked fine for me. I will say probably 50% of my overall laughs came from the same gag: those goats got me every time. The whole Zeus accent thing was alright. I mainly found that whole section vaguely confusing: Thor's the God of Thunder but Zeus is the God of Thunder and Lightning and some other stuff too? Okay, so Zeus is probably pretty badass then eh? Not so much. Hell of a constitution and some overly practical fashion sense but not very awe-inspiring. And his Thunderbolt was good apparently? Didn't really come off as a big game changer. Kinda stupid looking too but that's just my opinion.

Love and Thunder lacks a lot of the inside humor that made Ragnarok so good. No Loki is a big one. All of Thor's cohorts are relatively new pals: Korg, Valkyrie, Guardians and Jane's an ex he hasn't seen recently. I did enjoy the mix of power and goofiness that Natalie Portman brought to the Thor role. The final post credits scene does NOT divulge her perfect catchphrase alas but I'm happy to settle for "Eat my hammer" lol. It's a good movie just less fun. But it's still recognizable as the next Thor movie, unlike the steaming loaf that was Doc Strange part Dos. Oh and to be fair I went to see this last night for my birthday so it's possible the overall "meh" feeling of birthdays in your 40's bled into my cinematic experience. Still I'd go see it again just for those goats. Someone should dub them into Dr. Strange, might help (okay yeah, I clearly felt betrayed by Dr. Strange 2. You get it. I'll let it go).

Lightyear (2022)

Definitely worth a second chance

[8/10 · 30 June 2022]

I wasn't super thrilled when I first saw this. We almost saw it in the theater but didn't pan out. When I did see it I distinctly remember feeling glad I saved the money. But my kid really took to it so now, having seen it like 97 more times, I'm surprised at my initial reaction. Maybe it was the expectation from the Toy Story movies. Partly anyway. I will say Lightyear's plot isn't exactly awesome for kids. You've got death/rapid aging and some Interstellar explains to do.

But aside from all that... Sox is the so cool. He's cute, has gadgets in most every place conceivable, funny, just perfect. The way they connect it with Toy Story is really good in my opinion. One of the more smooth and logical ways I've seen of building off a previous film series.

It does seem like someone told them there could only be effective gun usage 5% of the time. The ways Buzz fails to actually shoot anything are numerous. Some funny, one he literally just throws it away for no reason. Which is funny in a whole different way. Anyway watch it or give it another chance.