liz-173 Reviews

Reuniting the Rubins (2010)

Timothy Spall...shines!

[8/10 · 24 March 2011]

A really good first feature from Yoav Factor. For my money, Tim Spall and Honor Blackman steal the show. I didn't think a comic drama about a Jewish mother and son would float my boat - but this is far from so simplistic. it's about family, warts and all, with a liberal sprinkling of love and affection. It may not set the movie world alight - no SFX, no 3D, no explosions or sell-on games opportunities... but it is well worth a look.

Someone on here said 'A British Woody Allen'... Woody Allen in the days of Hannah and Her Sisters, Manhattan, Annie Hall....now there's something to aspire to!!

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

No, no, no!! This is NOT a good film!

[1/10 · 16 February 2007]

I was intrigued by the trailer, and the fact that some of my cinema junkie friends had said it was worth a look. I am so glad I didn't spend my hard-earned cash on a cinema ticket but saw it on DVD.

It is mind-bendingly dull, the characters (and the acting) are wooden and two-dimensional. It says nothing of note, and - shock! horror! - it's just NOT funny! Great things were said about Streep's portrayal of Miranda Priestley, the bitch-editor from Hell, but her performance was repetitive and frankly, dull. The most that can be said about Streep is that the role is far removed from anything she's played before - and that's all the news that's fit to print about that as far as I'm concerned. She's an actor - that's what they do!! Act! God forbid anyone should get an Oscar for playing the same role over and over again (no, that could never happen).

Anne Hathaway, the unconvincing innocent, struggled to act; I may forgive her because she has a risible script to work with and seemingly no direction. The story was implausible and yes, that word again - dull. Her character, Andy, was in need of a good slap on more than one occasion just to get some life into the bones.

The best thing about this movie was the game I invented to while away the time until it had finished. It's called 'Spot the Product Placement' and I think I won with over 45 incidences and that's not counting the shoes....

Truly, a waste of time and money. Zoolander's the movie that says most about the fashion industry, and guess what? That's funny.

The Leather Boys (1964)

Great film!

[8/10 · 4 May 2006]

Captures the atmosphere of the 60s biking scene brilliantly. Why in the reviews here does no-one mention the motorcycles??!!! The only reason I wanted to see this was to drink in the atmosphere of the Ace Cafe and see the bikes! It was a bonus that the film had Rita Tushingham and a good story.

Everyone seems to be getting excited about the 'gay' element, yes, it was pretty out there for the film made in the 60s, but it's really about society. It's about being an outsider, in more ways than one.

I saw an old interview with the director, Sidney J Furie; he said whilst filming at The Ace, all the locals completely ignored the cameras and even Rita Tushingham, because they were far more interested in their own scene than a load of actors.

It's hard to find this film now, but if you can, it's well worth a look. It might not be sophisticated as today's films, but that doesn't matter - it has the one thing they don't - originality!

The Business (2005)

Unsatisfying Limey junk

[15 March 2006]

The Business looks 'the business' thanks to the glorious Spanish sunshine, but I was deeply disappointed at how feeble the plot was. Seen it a million times before and it was done infinitely better in Goodfellas, The Limey.. and the all time fabby Brit flick Sexy Beast. I had read reviews that said it wasn't bad - they were just telling tales or were related to the director. It was truly awful. I could've ridden a coach and horses through the plot, the opening sequence (flashback) made no sense, even when I'd watched the whole thing. A chair leg could've played the part of Charlie with much more efficacy and dear little Frankie... he was supposed to be young hunk, but he more resembled an under-nourished Essex chav. If this is what Brit film is coming to, then I despair. I have yet to see a world class piece of cinema come out of our be-laboured, ground-down industry. It really is a shame that we continue to produce this turgid rubbish that is more at home on the video shop shelves than in the cinema.

Goth (2003 Video)

Garbage...

[28 February 2006]

on a grand scale.

I would advise anyone considering renting this movie to take out Finding Nemo instead - a much more enjoyable hour and a half. I watched in amazement for at least ten minutes, wondering the following: did a chimpanzee write and direct it? Did chimpanzees produce it? And.. were the actors actually chimpanzees in Goth make-up? It's the only explanation I could come up with. It's not even of the category 'so bad - it's good'. It's just bad, bad, bad - and not in a Goth way; in a really frankly, stupid way.

I'm finding it hard to write 1,000 words that are not obscene about this turgid piece of rubbish. It amazes me that someone (Brad Sykes?) actually thought it was good enough to put out there in the world - a world where there are so many good movies that this one looks like the lame and puerile junk it is. No wonder it didn't get a theatrical release, any exhibitor worth his or her salt would've dumped this in the nearest rubbish skip.

Don't even get me started about the ludicrous 'acting' it was worse than any poxy student film I've ever seen; if these boys and girls are lookingto make it in the big time, I think they'd better join the recruitment line at McDonalds because no-one with a modicum of sense would touch them with a barge pole after this.

Truly, truly dreadful - can I have my 10 minutes of life back now please, the ones I wasted on this bollox... who do I sue?

Creep (I) (2004)

Abject Rubbish

[1/10 · 23 February 2006]

This is quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen. Worse than the most abhorrent American dross; worse than Glitter - Mariah Carey in American dross par excellence. I can only imagine that the writer and producer were taking huge amounts of recreational pharmaceuticals, and when discussing the plot actually thought it was a good idea. it's not. It is abject rubbish from very bowels of Satan himself (who could probably have written a better script had he put his mind to it). Robert Jones as Exce Producer, spending our tax payers money (lottery money folks) on this piece of nonsense, should be accountable. Who on earth thought it would be a good idea to re-make Deathline??? I ask you - camp as a Christmas Tree, Deathline ... 'Mind the doors' is classic of really bad British film, we really don't need a reminder. And we certainly don't need a poor, second rate, badly scripted, badly developed and badly piece of rubbish like this. All this this from the UK funding agency that brought us Sex Lives of the Potato Men... I rest my case.

Do Not Pay ANY money to see this. It is absolute and utter crap - the one saving grace for the producers is that they got a huge wedge of cash... our cash... for making it. They should hang their heads in shame.

I am staggered at the low, low standard of this film. It makes me Mgr that our national body for the support of film actually thought it was worth supporting. There is no hope for the British film industry whilst idiots are running the show. Harvey Wienstein where are you? Come back, we forgive you!!!

Imagine Me & You (2005)

No, no, no ,no

[1/10 · 31 January 2006]

With a plot faithfully stolen from the 'Idiot's Guide to Let's All Write a Rom Com' by Richard Curtis, this film has no soul, no intelligence and in my humble opinion, should never have been made at all. I felt for Sue Johnston and Anthony Head - two great actors and quite possibly the best things in this travesty - but oh dear, did they need the money that badly?? Tony Head and Sue had by the best lines (two - count them) in the whole picture. As for the storyline - unbelievably bad - since when did the florist sit on the front row with the Bride's family - a complete stranger who the mother had met once???? I don't think so.. A grown man called 'Hecky'??? Nope, don't think so either.. a Bride turned lesbian in about 20 minutes flat...? Nope, wrong on that one too. In short, rubbish from start to finish. The writer/director shows absolutely no understanding of lesbian relationships, did he learn all this from a book; if so, which book Janet & John Go Dogging? The audience I saw this with groaned loudly at every rancid, cynical, badly written cliché - film making by numbers should be outlawed and this piece of tripe should be re-located to nearest dustbin. I really despair of the kind of people who actually put up money for this nonsense - do they know about films? About audiences? I dread to think what the budget was but opening wide in the US and taking only $51K speaks for itself, I hope you lose every penny, you deserve to for inflicting this on us.

Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005)

Judy, Judy, Judy!!!

[7/10 · 21 December 2005]

Oh isn't she terrific?! As a Brit, I get a bit tee-ed off with the 'heritage' type of movie; the type that present a picture that never existed, but the very presence of the old dame gives Mrs Henderson Presents a really uplifting quality. I thoroughly enjoyed this film, all the performances were excellent, Judes of course, but Bob Hoskins as well... oh, and Will Young - he reminded me of Tommy Tune in The Boyfriend - well worth a few quid of anyone's money! I saw it at a preview screening and had the good fortune to chat with Bob Hoskins after the film. He was wonderful, a pocket-sized bundle of fun (though Bob, you owe me two fags). I asked him what it was like working with the Dame (she has a reputation for being totally committed and therefore can be a bit scary). He grinned a grin the size of the Dartford Tunnel and said 'Judy! She frightened the effing (though he didn't say 'effing')life out of me!!' It was a great moment - he's one of my heroes; stunning in The Long Good Friday and Mona Lisa... and a little, grey-haired old lady terrified him!! He said she on the ball twenty four hours a day and worked like a trouper. Wonderful!!! I would absolutely recommend Mrs Henderson Presents; it's nostalgic, yes; it's a bit contrived; but hey, artistic license is allowed still isn't it? And I'd rather watch this than sit through turgid dross like Notting Hill or Four Weddings. As British films go - this might just signal a bit of a comeback - we can but hope.

Festival (I) (2005)

Warning

[1/10 · 14 July 2005]

I saw this at a preview and it is complete and utter tripe. If I hear one more critic praise this 'film' for 'its depth of characterisation' I will eat my own head. Not good, not good at all. I can say however, that Edinburgh looks fabulous, but then it always does. The story lines are predictable, clichéd, and very dull - throw in a priest/actor with serious misgivings about his vocation, a couple of likely lad Irish comedians, a bit of gratuitous homosexual sex, a ditsy blonde with useless jokes, and a weedy leading lady trying to 'act' and you have a recipe for an absolute turkey. This is one I won't be returning to for the leftovers... it should have left in a car park it certainly doesn't deserve your hard-earned cash. I'm just glad I didn't pay to see it.

Saw (2004)

Utter Tripe!!!

[1/10 · 1 April 2005]

Having read some of the reviews, I thought I'd give this a go. I loved Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon, I thought perhaps it might be worth for him alone but...Oh how I wish had trusted my instincts!! The plot has more holes than a colander, the acting is risible and the script is a complete joke. Why in God's name does crap like this get made when there are so many good scripts out there just begging to be filmed??? Saw is fatally flawed and the exec who gave it the green light must have been clinically insane or totally incompetent. What a waste of 90 minutes. Rubbish. I would rather saw my own leg off than sit through this again.

King Arthur (2004)

I wish....

[5 February 2005]

...I could see just one movie that didn't leave me feeling I'd wasted my precious time on it... I thought, having read the reviews on here, this might be worth 90 minutes of my life. It's not. It is unwatchable. The acting is wooden, the script is risible and now, I want to kill myself. What a pile of turgid rubbish. Keria Knightley's 'teeth-acting' has to be seen to believed. Clive, tell me you did it for the money!!! Abject rubbish, I had to turn it off. Thank God I didn't waste real money seeing it at the cinema - which is, incidentally, where really good films should be seen - but not this one. I can't remember seeing a worse film, but Glitter - Mariah Carey - springs to mind!!!!

It's All Gone Pete Tong (2004)

It all went Pete Tong...

[24 January 2005]

Oh dear. Firstly, let me say, Paul Kaye is a genius, he is very fine comedian and he makes me laugh like a drain... however, this film is quite possibly the worst British film I have seen in a very long time. It has one or two very good lines (if you'll pardon the pun), but apart from that I found it mind-numbingly boring and incredibly infantile. I would have perhaps felt more sympathy for Paul's character, Frankie Wilde, had he actually had any redeeming features, but he is a boorish, selfish lout and thus, when bad things befell him, I thought 'Good!'.

And as for the tacked on ending... oh puuuhleeezzz! See it for yourself, then go and see Barratier's The Chorus - you decide what makes a good film... I already have and it's one that treats it's audience as though they had a bit of intelligence. 'Pete Tong' is utterly stupid and gives contemporary British film-making a worse name than it has already has.

Shall We Dance? (2004)

Shall We Dance

[24 January 2005]

I was enchanted by the original '96 version. It was sensitive, charming, enduring, wonderful. This is none of those things. I love Peter Chelsom's work, he's always had something meaningful to say in his previous films, especially Hear My Song. I can only imagine his entire family has been kidnapped and making this was part of the ransom. The original was firmly bedded in the Japanese culture, whereby a man absolutely would not flaunt himself in such a public display as ballroom dancing because it is considered taboo. What excuse has Gere's character got? None. Therefore the whole premise of the film is absolute nonsense. He could have gone home from work, told the good lady he wanted to take dance classes, and Bingo... he takes dance classes. It is simply preposterous to imagine this is something he would have to hide in present day America. Total baloney and shows complete disregard for the outstanding originality of the 96 movie. Waste of celluloid, but at least lovely Peter Chelsom has some pennies in the bank to come back to the UK and make proper films.