Mister-S Reviews

The Majestic (2001)

A banal, pathetic cop-out

[2/10 · 12 April 2009]

How stunningly annoying is this film? Simple - it's one of the great teases of the time. It starts well with some nice directing and clever work as our hero gets drunk and leaves Hollywood with the threat of a court subpoena over his head to appear before the McCarthy hearings.

And then it moves to a small town where our hero - now an amnesiac - is feted as the long-lost son of the community, home from the war nine years after it ended.

During this time we as an audience are kept guessing. Is he really the son of the local cinema owner? Is it an elaborate hoax? Or is it just a wild coincidence.

And then towards the end of the film we are told the truth. And then, presumably as a cheap and dumbed-down reaction to the Bush administration's war on terror and homeland security clampdown, our hero suddenly appears before the hearing and gives one of the most awful, banal, pathetic, manipulative, cringe-making, immature, naive, trite, pandering, oleaginous, saccharin, childish and vomit-inducing feel-good speeches of all time defending America's right to free speech and apple pie and all that.

An utter cop out at which point I switched off and went to bed.

Brideshead Revisited (1981)

Drivel

[2/10 · 4 August 2007]

This adaptation follows the book closely in that it contains reams of drivel and dross.

Charles Ryder, a dull, unimpressive, stiff, uninteresting, pedantic, small minded nobody is for some unknown reason feted and seized upon by a group of far more interesting characters. Why would they even bother with this little man? His dullness is faithfully transferred to the screen where Jeremy Irons performs in an equally insipid role which leaves the audience yawning for less.

The only redeeming feature is the appearance of Ryder's father and Blanche who steal each scene they are in (admitedly not hard when those scenes involve Irons acting like a piece of cardboard) and leave us wanting more.

The Rock (1996)

Bilge

[1/10 · 9 July 2007]

What an awful collection of clichés and bilge this is. The characters (using the term loosely) are hysterical and each in possession of several tics of personality. They don't interact, they merely display their own idiosyncrasies with no reference to anyone else. It really is that bad.

Like most American films involving the military, there is virtually no indication of any professionalism at all. People lose tempers, shout, go ballistic for no reason and play the maverick which is either the true state of the American military or the Hollywood take.

While Sean Connery is competent here, Nicholas Cage is most deservedly not. Perhaps in an attempt to keep up with Connery's professionalism as an actor, Cage shouts all the time and overacts terribly in every scene the two share. The result is Cage looks like an amateur.

Don't bother to watch this.

Forrest Gump (1994)

Schmaltz is the word.

[2/10 · 14 July 2006]

A fairy tale expression of recent American history. This has Tom Hanks playing a simpleton as the embodiment post-war America and the fact it won Oscars tells us more about American pop-culture than any erudite books might wish to say.

Tom Hanks plays Gump, a rather "slow" boy who grows into a "slow" man and yet manages to involve himself in major events in American history: racial integration, Vietnam, Watergate and so on, and yet always manages to remain unwittingly on the side of Liberalism.

In other words, this rather saccharine and somewhat nauseous film is trying tell us that what is good about America is the simple homespun values of innocence and goodness whilst presumably anyone with an IQ of above average is not to fully trusted. A naive message in the least which to anyone with an IQ over 100 or anyone living in Europe seems the cause of so many problems rather than the solution.

If you are looking for a black and white view of the world, an idealistic and simple and sop for conscience view of the world, then this might help.

For those with an IQ over 100 I would suggest you go elsewhere.

Black Hawk Down (2001)

A movie of wishes

[6/10 · 19 March 2006]

Whilst this is an undoubtedly well made film which gets into the heart of battle in the same way the opening to Private Ryan does, it is spoilt only by the insertion of far too many "gung-ho/emotional" comments from the soldiers themselves. A kind of Oprah Goes To War.

The simplistic heavy-handed way in which American forces fight is shown (and the consequences thereof) but despite the way in which the film tries to turn around the mistakes it does leave them in a bad light. The shouting, the poor training, the mistakes and wrong decisions are all displayed.

The final credits begin with a display of the name of 19 soldiers killed in the event. It also mentions in passing the 1,000 Somalians who died and it is typical of the film that they are anonymous and far, far less important. Americans are worth more than Africans it seems.

Crimson Tide (1995)

Appalling

[4/10 · 20 September 2003]

What an appalling film. Don't get me wrong, Gene Hackman and Denzel Washington are good actors, but aside from a few interesting set pieces, the film is mostly taken up with hysterical submariners shouting, crying, sweating and generally freaking out when anything goes wrong.

Take that with simplistic asides to make sure the audience still understand what's going on (the scene where Denzel Washington explains to a radio repairman how he must be like Scotty in Star Trek is nothing more than a joke) and you have a dumbed down thriller not worthy of the acting.

Let us just hope that the real nuclear US Navy is not in the hands of such a script!