shaunephillips28 Reviews

A Town Full of Ghosts (2022)

a town full of bad acting

[2/10 · 1 October 2023]

The premise of the movie is pretty good, but that's about it. Most of the actors can't act their way out of a paper bag. Especially the actor playing Mark. If that wasn't bad enough, there's enough potholes in this movie that it's more hole than anything else.

For instance, the town supposedly doesn't have power, yet there is multiple towers with blinking red lights in the ghost town. Not to mention multiple shots showing hydro poles. In one shot the pole is maybe 50 feet away from them, yet there's no power. I almost forgot there's supposed to be no running water, except one of the first scenes is Mark showing the sink and toilet im the "outhouse". Don't get me started on the old film reel some how having audio.

Besides the plot holes, it's nothing more than a cheesy movie with a decent premise squandered by the poor writing, poor acting and poor everything else.

Cleveland Abduction (2015 TV Movie)

A disappointing take on a terrible true story

[2/10 · 5 September 2022]

This movie is based on a very sad true story. It's an important story that needed to be told.

With movies like this there is always a tightrope balancing act happening. There needs to be great acting that doesn't take away from the story, yet making it believable. My problem comes down to casting Taryn Manning in the role of Michelle Knight. At the time of filming this movie Taryn was 36 or 37. Playing a 21 year old. Michelle was a young woman trying to take control of her life. Part of that story is being about a young women. Taryn Manning doesn't come off as 21 year old. In fact, when she's supposed to be talking to someone who's her age, I was totally confused. I thought she was talking to a young girl she knew. Not someone she went to school with. It threw me off and took me out of the story. It made it unbelievable for me. On top of that, Taryn Manning has a very distinct look, voice and feel. Rarely does she change herself to fit the character. She's more in line with actors who play the same character with slight variations. Which again, took me out of the movie. She also has a tendency to play sad characters with troubled lives. I just don't feel she's the right person for the audience to get lost into the true story unfolding before us. The entire time it felt like a movie very much removed from the awful true story.

Boo! (II) (2018)

BOO!!!

[2/10 · 5 September 2022]

The movie literally boo's itself. That's how bad it is. This movie feels like a talented first time director and his composer friend got a few million bucks from a big movie studio. Then found a movie script from the early 2000s that was hidden away for a reason and said, let's make this!

The first few minutes starts out promising. It's shot well, it has a gritty look and feel. The music is well composed and the set up is good, but that's about as far as it goes. Once the movie hits current times it falls apart.

We meet the rebellious teen daughter, her pill popping whino mother, her crazy religious father and the very troubled brother. None of them feel like they belong to the same family. I get what they were going for, but in what world would they have such a religious father who some how doesn't care that his sons room looks like the room of a budding serial killer? For someone who refuses to let his kids celebrate Halloween, he's sure allowed his son to celebrate it every day in his room. But what gets me is how little there is of a set up in the movie. The movie throws some information at you about the family and heads right into what's supposed to be the plot. Problem is the plot is boring and literally nothing happens. And when something does happen, no one seems to be bothered by it after a minute or two. I'm an hour into the movie and the father is in the sons room trying to calm him down. We're an hour in and this is how far we've gotten? Hello, that scene should have been maybe 25 minutes into the film.

So to cut this short, the movie is boring and it sucks! I will not forgive this movie for trespassing against me. Boo!!!

Animal Among Us (2019)

does your shirt say squatch on it?

[2/10 · 2 July 2022]

The title of my review is something said in the movie and what made it official that I was watching a bad movie.

Before that, the movie was borderline. Parts of felt well shot. Other parts felt poorly acted. I think whoever directed the movie was trying his best, in bad circumstances.

What sealed the deal that this was a crapfest was the reaction given to a diry and bloodied girl strolls out of the woods and the guy says, does your shirt say squatch on it?

What kind of reaction is that. In what world would that be something someone says? I think I might put that quote on a shirt.

Risen (2021)

What has risen, must fall. Then be burried 6 feet under

[1/10 · 1 July 2022]

Awful! Truly awful!

Many movies in this genre tend to go for action over substance. Then there are movies like this thinking they are going to substance and failing miserably. The main character is worst kind of character written in these movies. Sombre and mute. As if they're acting is some kind of art. When it's just boring and pretentious. I was so bored I couldn't even finish the entire thing.

A movie doesn't need to be action piled on top of action, but it does need to have a beating heart. This movie represents the other half of the town that stayed dead.

Haunted 4: Demons (2020)

I'll get back to my review later

[1/10 · 3 April 2022]

Oh boy, where do I start. First off, the 6.2 rating this movie has at the time of my review has to be mostly the cast and crew reviews because literally nothing happens to deserve above a 2 rating. Take the worse parts of any given ghost Hunter show, the parts where they endless talk to pad out the run time of an episode. Well, this entire movie is those scenes. Nothing happens except lots of talking about ghosts. Then it abruptly ends. I guess they'll get to good parts later.

Vampire Strippers (2021)

A dark comedy

[1/10 · 20 March 2022]

I really have to wonder what would possess a person to make this film? People actually paid to have this made and I want to give that person a hug and tell them it's all going to be okay. They could have bought a latte with the money they spent on this.

Bad acting, bad plot, bad sound, bad production, bad actors, bad lighting, bad costumes, bad everything.

Fortune Cookie Prophecies (2011)

Pro no choice propaganda

[1/10 · 11 March 2022]

What is it with these agenda movies trying to badly disguise their message?

The first issue comes in the form of hitting us over the head with its Chinese theme. Instead of it naturally feeling like it's part of the movie, they really push it on us right away. One person speaks Chinese, one practices Chinese medicine or something, one of them is Chinese and they're about to eat Chinese at the lake house. I mean, jeez, come on.

Then starts the propaganda. I didn't even know the movie was a anti pro choice movie at first, but it didn't take long to put two and two together. Besides that, the acting is bad, the plot is bad and well, it's just bad.

Companion (2021)

Your companion is stupid

[1/10 · 5 March 2022]

With low budget movies sometimes you hit the jackpot and others times you step in dog doo doo. This movie is a steaming pile of dog doo you happened to step in.

Sometimes good movies just don't get the budget they deserve. Other times movies get no funding because the script is awful. Case and point, dude gets upset because his wife shouts, "water!" He's worried about survivors hearing her. Yet, 5 minutes later he's trying to open a trunk of a car with an axe. Okay, what? Pretty sure what he's doing is 10 times louder than her shouting, "water!" Plus he's doing it multiple times.

That's one of biggest issues with movies such as these. They rarely make sense with a plot that barely exists. Staring actors who have just taken their first acting lesson. Can movies turn into companions? Well hopefully this movies dies and stops existing.

Apocalypse of Ice (2020)

The Pandemic After Tomorrow

[1/10 · 3 March 2022]

A complete rip off of the day after tomorrow, plus and a pandemic. It's as if they thought if they add a pandemic people would some how not notice it's ripped off another movie. Even the beginning of the movie rips off the beginning of the day after tomorrow. It's pretty sad really.

LOL: Last One Laughing Canada (2022)

Some where between funny lane and awkward boulevard

[8/10 · 3 March 2022]

A bunch of Canadians put in a room together trying to make each other laugh, while simultaneously trying not to laugh, how is that not funny? We have some of the funniest Canadians right here and some points it feels like they're holding back because they know they will make themselves laugh. Then there's Tom Green being always Tom Green. It's awkward on top of awkward to the point it's funny and Jay Baruchel is the prince of Canada who can do no wrong. This might not be your cup of tea, but that doesn't mean it's bad. You just haven't had a delicious cheese sandwich.

Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

The year is 2021 and it's hilarious

[2/10 · 6 February 2022]

Johnny Mnemonic was Keanu's big follow up to Speed. Speed made Keanu a big heart throb. This movie however, reminded people that Keanu could still barely act if the role didn't fit his schtick.

This movie was the worst parts of the 90s. Some how the movie looks more like the 70's, 80's and the most tacky parts of the mid 90's than anything else. It's pretty bad when Henry Rollins looks more like the real 2021 than this movies interpretation of 2021.

The movie is everything wrong with 90s cyberpunk themes. It looks super outdated and 1994's Speed looks more current than this movie. It's 100% pure cyberpunk cheese. I bet Keanu had no clue that just a few short years later be would star in one of the best science fiction movies of all time. 4 years makes a heck of difference.

A Dog for Christmas (2015)

Christmas Vacation it is not.

[1/10 · 24 November 2021]

So here we are at the bottom of the barrel of Christmas movies. About five minutes into the movie I knew I was either in for a cheesy over the top funny movie or a frustratingly annoying crap fest. Sadly, the latter seems to be more accurate. On prime, the movie was under the title of Christmas Staycation for some odd reason, but something tells me as the movie continues I'm understanding why.

Out of no where, Richard Karn comes in to narrate the movie. At first, I thought the movie had changed because it makes no sense for Richard Karn to come in 7 minutes into the movie. Usually the narrators start the movie. That way you know there's going to be a narrator, but abruptly out of no where he shows up dressed as Santa to narrate a movie that doesn't need narration. I haven't watched the entire movie yet, but I'm getting the feeling they added in Richard Kern to change what the movie is about. I think someone realized the movie has little to do with the title and they needed someone to narrate to better explain what's going on.

A few minutes later I realized I was watching a Christmas Vacation ripoff and not a good one. If their going to ripoff a Christmas classic, at least have the decency to get it right. The longer the movie went on the less the movie made sense. So let me get this right, the family is showing up soon, yet, they go downtown to skate, they don't have the Christmas tree up and they are not ready for family what's so ever and why, that way they can set up the movie to be one stressful event after the other.

They start setting up the tree. First the wife wants it's an inch from the fireplace, then in front of the walk way and then where the chair was. As if they haven't ever figured out the proper place for the darn tree. Eventually the family shows up and every one of them is truly annoying. Okay, I get where this movie is going. Everything is a problem, every person is obnoxious and the movie is going to be a succession of moments where people make things annoyingly difficult for no reason at all. That can work when it's actually funny. There's nothing funny about a 14 year old kid getting stuck in a chimney, yet the house from the outside doesn't have a chimney! Where's the chimney, who knows?

When Dean Kane appeared on screen it became apparent they spent the movies budget on 90s t.v. Stars. Which, so far are the only highlights. But wait... there's more 90s tv stars coming.

I'm almost 40 minutes into the movie and what the movie is about, a girl wanting a dog, has only been mentioned twice. For maybe a total of a minute of screen time. So much for the movie being about a dog.

I'm not going to talk about every stupid thing that happens in this movie. Ill just say it, the movie is awful.

WNUF Halloween Special (2013)

Did anybody want 60 minutes of commercials? Anyone?

[6/10 · 24 October 2021]

The concept of this movie is pretty brilliant and I commend everyone involved. I feel like a kid again watching late 80's/early 90's local tv. I know there's millions of people out there who would enjoy the nostalgia factor.

My issue is with how the concept was implemented. To me and many others, they went overboard on concept. The realism might be a little too much. I was 20 minutes into the movie and maybe saw 6 minutes of actual news footage and not all of that was about the plot. The commercials are every 2 minutes and they usually are 2 minutes long. I barely knew what was going because so little of the begginning was about the movie. It also didn't help they really pushed the concept for the first 15 minutes or so. I guess they really needed people to know you are watching vintage local access television. That's great and all, but in ends up putting the actual plot of the movie on the backburner. It becomes more about commercial filler than anything else. Early on, I was forgetting what the movie was supposed to be about because the commercials were relentless and constantly broke up the plot. I don't remember local news ever having so many commercials every 2 to 3 minutes. Yes, the movie gives us the basics early on, but it would be nice to have more news footage.

Long story short, it's annoying. Let me watch the darn movie already. I get it. I get what they are trying to do, but for the love of god, let me watch the news.

When the Streetlights Go On (2017–2020)

Street lights are a metaphor. That's deep...

[7/10 · 17 October 2021]

Over all it's a pretty good show. It's old territory done many times over, but 90s. I guess that's supposed to be something interesting using 90s angst and esthetics. Honestly, I'm okay with that. Especially with today's overt plastic people and constant use a cell phones.

The show deals more with the fallout of a tragic murder than a killers bodycount. So, for some, it may not be what they thought it was going to be. The acting is very good and so is everything else. There really isn't anything to complain about. Nor, is there anything to get super excited about, either.

I think the most interesting thing was seeing these kids from the 90s use thin laptops. 90s laptops were as thick as bricks. It's just funny knowing people making the show don't care about the little details because they know some 17 year old isn't going to know laptops were 2 inches thick, but to me, it's stuff like that which hinders the show.

Also, the 10 minute format doesn't work for the show. We just end up watching title card after title card. The momentum gets a bit lost everytime the credits and title card roll in. Besides a few little things, When the Street Lights Go On is well acted, well made and worth a watch.

Slasher: 6am to 9am (2019) Season 3, Episode 1

Slasher Cliche

[2/10 · 16 October 2021]

For the love of God, just stop already. I know this is a little late, but can't stand it it's so bad. Take every horror cliche know to man and put it in one episode.

The person walking home and being stalked by a psycho killer with a dumb mask cliche. Why can't the guy being stalked turn out to be the killer. Something surprising for a change. Victim trying to get help, but no one helps cliche. All of sudden when he's dead there's 30 people there surrounding him. The person screaming call 911 cliche. Why don't you call 911! Every character is some extreme characature. The bad girl, her drunk white supremist, the mean husband, the innocent Muslim girl, the jerk hipster and the list goes on. Everyone is too much of some extreme and very few are likeable. Why would I waste my time watching a show full of characters I cannot stand? On top of that we have the uncaught killer coming back on the one year anniversary. This is paint by Numbers. I don't care if the show has some twist and turns later on in the show. If I can't stand the first episode I'm not wasting my time.

Aftermath (IV) (2021)

Something is off about this movie

[5/10 · 15 August 2021]

There seems to be a lot wrong with this movie and all of it gives the film an odd sense about it. Audio is out of sync sometimes, the frame rate lowers in some scenes like a game, the camera goes out of focus multiple times throughout the movie and the audio sounds like it's being recorded in a tin can. It all throws off the movie, but there's far more to it.

One minute the characters are getting along like a happy couple. Next minute there are fighting like they never get along. It feels very schizophrenic. It's not realistic whatsoever. It's as if one scene is written by the writer forgetting their relationship issues and then in the next scene he hasn't. Sometimes horror movies write tension in a relationship thinking it's adding something, but it doesn't if it's inconsistent. For instance, they are having marital issues and seeing a counselor to work through their problems. Sometimes it feels like they are doing just that. Then they do the exact opposite of what they need to. They don't tell each other things they should and it's all because the writer wants these things to be an issue, but it's schizophrenic writing. Let's set this scene up where they get along like they're on their honeymoon and the next like they hate each other. It's frustrating to the point of annoyance. Characters don't say things like they should in reaction to what others say. There's a scene where they are talking to a police officer and they are being accused of something. Instead of saying there's no way we did that, the husband says something else that doesn't try to clear his name. It's super vague and weird. On top of that, a good chunk of the other characters are jerks. All because this is a horror suspense film. It's bad writing. I could go on and on about the problems with the film, but what I'm trying to get at is how much the issues take away from the movie. I want to watch a decent writen horror film and parts of it are, but I never know when the camera will go out of focus or if a character is going to do something stupid.

Overall, it's worth a watch, but man, it's got some problems.

Exorcism at 60,000 Feet (2019)

Hilarity at 60, 000 feet

[7/10 · 11 August 2021]

If you're watching a movie called Exorcism at 60, 000 Feet and find it too cheesy, I gotta ask, what did you think you were about to watch?

It's pure over the top cheesy fun from start to finish. If you like a good B-movie horror comedy, then this is the film for you. It's basically a bunch of stereotypes stuck on a plane from 1976, trying to survive possession. I love it.

Unidentified (2006)

Religious Propaganda

[1/10 · 11 August 2021]

I have no problem with a religious movie, but I take issue when they try to hide it. The title says nothing about what the movie really is about. They lead you to believe we're about to watch a generic alien movie, but it's pure fundamentalist propaganda. There's absolutely no mention of religion for at least 20 minutes. Long enough to fool the viewer into thinking they are watching something they are not. When they finally do reveal what the movie is all about, they go in hard with extremist fundamentalism. Basically one minute you think you're watching an alien movie, the next you're being told you're going to hell. That's how far it goes. This movie deserves a -666.

Dark Skies (2013)

could've been darker skies

[7/10 · 28 July 2021]

Alien movies are a tough genre to get right and alien abduction movies are even tougher. Dark Skies does a pretty superb job at it, but it could have been better. When a movie gets so much right, it sucks to see it make dumb mistakes and spoiler alert, the ending was a mistake. It really doesn't make much sense why a family would lock themselves away in a house when they could have easily gone outside. It was the 4th of July afterall, people are everywhere. It would have made more sense for them to have exhausted their options in a desperate attempt to keep the aliens away. Then have them be isolated and fight against the aliens. The other issue I have with Dark Skies is the tone taken at the beginning of the movie. We're introduced to a family who clearly had better days as things slowly start to progress. This is where the Poltergeist effect should have been implemented. Poltergeist started innocently before things took a turn for the worse. A complete 180 and I feel this movie should have done that. Make us feel like we're meeting the perfect suburban family, with a lovely home and a lovely life. Then hit us with the scary bits. I've never been a fan of horror movies starting off with scary music despite nothing scary happening. Other than those few things, this movie is unsettling at times and unnerving. A must watch in the alien abduction genre.

The Seventh Day (I) (2021)

Guy Pearce, why?

[5/10 · 21 July 2021]

I never thought I'd see the day where Guy Pearce would do a generic horror movie. Out of all of the good horror movies made, he picked this one? It's not that it's terrible, but it could have been far more. Some times I think good actors decide to do a movie just because they can and not because it's a good script. The idea behind this movie is solid, but it takes a very generic route. Instead of doing something interesting with what it had going for it.

Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021)

1994ish?

[7/10 · 10 July 2021]

It's funny being old enough to see movies released about a decade I've been in. I was a kid/teen in the 90s and they got some stuff right, but just a little. Overall it doesn't really matter they used songs from 1996 so much. Though, there was plenty of music they could have used that was actually out at the time, but every period movie does that. Overall, the movie is a good marrying of 80s teen slasher meets mid 90s teen slasher. I do wish they got some of the stuff right. It feels more like 2021, minus cell phones and the clown face make-up of today. Things were a little more o naturale in those days, kinda miss that tbh. I will say I was a tad annoyed by how short the song clips were. None of them were used long enough to set the mood. It felt kinda like a kid with ADHD at the controls of a stereo listening to his dad's playlist. Other than the not so 90s stuff, I really loved how they lit the movie, very moody and colourful. If you were a 90s kid, you read RL Stine. It was kinda expected of you to be into it and everyone was. We all traded books with each other in class. The teachers never caught on to how adult some of the books really were. The whole nastalgia trip was fun and the movie was entertaining enough to not care about what they got wrong. If you love a good slasher, you'll love this and if you were around in the 90s there's a little something extra in it for ya.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

The 1st in a long line of unwanted sequels

[6/10 · 19 June 2021]

When Terminator 2 came out Arnold was at the height of his career and the franchise was at an all time high. People had been waiting for the sequel for years and Terminator 2 didn't disappoint.

When 3 came out, there wasn't really any high hopes. It came out at a time when there was a ton of unwanted sequels only being made to cash in and this was one of them.

The story is completely forced, the actors aren't that good, it lacks character depth, it's poorly written and lifeless. If there was going to be a 3rd movie, it needed to be dark in tone and serious in nature, but instead we get a, "talk to the hand" line. This movie suffers from early 2000's comedy in action movies. The comedy is inappropriate for what the movie is supposed to be. We're talking about saving the humane race and Arnold is trying on glasses meant for 70s Elton John.

It's not the worst in the series, but close to it. By the time this movie came out I kept thinking why doesn't any one just use some acid on these terminators and a few sequels they finally do. When the holes in the series become obvious, it's time to stop.

Oculus (2013)

it's a spooky mirror

[5/10 · 15 June 2021]

I remember seeing this at theatres and being completely disappointed. To me, it wasn't this great psychological horror it tried to be. I'm sure many will say they loved this movie, but I found it to be utterly dumb and the whole scenario of the movie to be futile.

The movie boils down to a traumatized girl thinking some how she can out smart a mirror who's killed at least 40 people over hundreds of years. Either she's crazy or full of herself and that's my issue. Most horror movies you know it isn't going to end well, but this movie tells you in the first 30 minutes how exactly it won't end well. So I kinda felt like I was watching a pointless movie.

It just feels so dumb. At what point does a writer not realize he is writing a character who doesn't some how understand that her and her brother have always been the mirrors next victims. If I was in that situation as a kid, I would stay away from the mirror. Knowing I need to respect the power of the mirror and not think I have the smarts to to beat a mirror that can make people kill themselves.

The Devil Below (2021)

Crappy Movie Below

[3/10 · 14 June 2021]

I knew I was in for a bad time when all the characters were some weird stereotype. While driving to the site, one of the characters starts going on about how they shouldn't be going. Yet he's going. I cannot stand bad writing like this. The whole point of we shouldn't be here characters is to set some ominous tone, but the writers never think how a character like this makes absolutely no sense. Then 5 minutes later the character is excited. So, does he or doesn't he want to be here?

They stop at a store to get directions and of course the guy at the counter looks like he hates outoftowners. Y'all go back to the city where y'all's belong. It's just bad writing. Things only get worse from here. Bad writing, bad characters, bad pacing and a bad story.