ghostjunk Reviews

The Suicide Squad (2021)

The Suicide Squad Flick Everyone Deserves

[7/10 · 8 August 2021]

This is clearly the Suicide Squad flick everyone deserved. From the moment I found out it was rated R, and James Gunn was attached, I knew it was destined to kick some ass but I was pleasantly surprised of how much effective humour he injected into this blood soaked action sci-fi "super-hero" flick.

While it might not soar to the heights Guardians of the Galaxy did, Gunn unquestionably benefited from having the chance to let loose and go wild with this R-Rating. Disappointed viewers of the original Suicide Squad film are sure to be pleased with this completely outrageous yet clever and, surprisingly enough, very artistic piece of cinema action.

As a bonus; It doesn't feature any distracting agendas and focuses 100% on just delivering pure entertainment. Die-hard fans will also appreciate all the deep cuts, thanks to the many obscure characters that we're given solid parts and cameos in this film.

The Ice Road (2021)

Reminiscent of '90s Action Thrillers

[7/10 · 18 July 2021]

There's not much that can be said about this movie without creating significant spoilers, as this is a pretty basic cut-and-dry film. Obviously, Liam Neason is back, the movie features a big truck driving through some icy terrain, and something unexpected happens. All things impossible to miss by simply looking at the movie poster.

That being said, I would go in as clueless as possible as I can guarantee you the trailers will ruin any chance of feeling much excitement. While it might fail to compete with some older classics like Breakdown, featuring Kurt Russell, it's quite frankly a breath of fresh air in an era of reboot after sequel after whatever other form of recycling of old material Hollywood continues to churn out of its butt. (Ok, fine, not all of these are-imagined styled flicks are bad, but you get what I mean).

What else can be said except Liam Neeson never seems to disappoint, and I'm sure older fans of his other movies will enjoy a brief escape from reality as they reminis of the films the golden years of R-rated action thrillers from the '90s. But what's to expect from a film written and directed by the same writer of awesome films like Die Hard: With a Vengeance and Jumanji, which both came out in 1995. I think it's safe to say that this was a great year for American screenwriter Jonathan Hensleigh.

The Ice Road might not deserve a huge tip, but this meal was good enough to create a great "Netflix" night out with some great friends. A solid 7/10.

Black Widow (2021)

A Short & Sweet Review

[8/10 · 18 July 2021]

A short and sweet review; While Black Widow may have received some backlash from die-hard Marvel Cinematic Universe fans for being too "woke," there's no doubt in my mind that most formed an opinion too early by reacting to the narrative various mainstream media journalists inaccurately created to gain more views.

Does the movie focus a good percentage of its time highlighting female empowerment and showing us girls who kick major ass? Sure! But, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that when it's done with such elegance and supported by great storytelling & acting. Don't get me wrong; I can't argue that there aren't movies out there that seem to try and push social agendas while failing to apply the same care in the script itself, but that's certainly not the case with Black Widow.

Opinions are like buttholes, and everyone's got one, but I'm hoping this short review might persuade you to give the film chance. Ignore the haters and unfair criticisms and go enjoy yourself at the cinema again for a positive change of space. Just be warned that this one's a little more on the dark and serious side, so don't expect it to be as kid-friendly as lighter MCU titles like Guardians of the Galaxy or Spider-Man: Homecoming.

In summary, Black Widow has a stellar cast, top-notch fight scenes, beautiful special fx and plenty of action with just enough comedic relief to create the perfect recipe for fun. Sure, the movie would have offered a bigger punch if it was released before End Game, but this well-loved character unquestionably deserved her own movie, and Scarlet Johansson delivers the goods!

Spiral (2021)

A Dark Cop Thriller Done Right!

[8/10 · 21 June 2021]

Don't listen to the haters! This was a respectful sequel to what came before, with plenty of nods fans can appreciate while making this its own. I mean... should it win the best picture of the year? Well, let's not get carried away now! But I think Chris Rock killed it in this serious role against typecasting. I definitely l appreciated the writer's decision to focus more on the detective's work rather than given the gory scenes an abundance of screen time. Oh, and yes, it features a cliche twist at the end, but at least it was a decent and believable one!

Filmed and edited with elegance and lit with an eerie beauty that any film enthusiast could appreciate. Saw II, III & IV OG Darren Lynn Bousman also returns to direct and ensures the film remains grounded in the same universe. Spiral also features a solid mix of veteran actors that help crank up the believability of it all, along with a solid soundtrack so that never hurts!

Don't get me wrong. I understand that for a Saw movie to be... well, a Saw movie, it has to rely on demented yet creative traps that have you sticking to the edge of your seat as you keep looking away and hoping they'll find a way to escape. But after its intelligent beginnings, chapters 1-3, this series quickly spiralled down into nothing more than a gore fest lacking substance. But Spiral finally injects some life into the Jigsaw universe that died a long time ago.

Spiral might not please gorehounds hoping for a film that ups the ante of the over-the-top gruesome traps of earlier installments. It might also bum out die-hard horror genre fans of its lack of scares, but as a bloody and dark cop thriller, I think it was a breath of fresh air when comparing to most of the garbage that's coming out these days. As I said, this might not win picture of the year, but it certainly doesn't deserve the hate it's receiving. But don't take my word for it! Watch it and make your own decisions if you feel this was a flop or a bloody good time!

PS: Did I mention Samual L. Jackson in this, and he drops f-bombs? That's always a win in my book!

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Alien: Inconvenient (The Prequel No One Needed)

[5/10 · 12 August 2017]

A team of astronauts on a colonization mission decide to take their chances on a newly found planet in hopes of making it their home. They quickly regret their decision, however, when coming face to face with an alien threat.

Oh god, where do I start? Unfortunately there's no way to sugar coat things so I'll just be straight with you guys. Alien: Covenant was a huge disappointment. While I can respect Ridley Scott's attempt at tying together Prometheus and the original Alien film, sadly his direction fell flatter than an old stale pancake at your local family restaurant. But what really takes the cake is the severe lack of character logic throughout. This makes a lot of the film's situations feel so forced that most of the outcomes feel way too predictable to get any genuine shock value out of them. This pretty much kills the higher quantity of sheer tension you'd hope to experience, which is pretty disappointing considering Ridley Scott directed this series' near-perfect original, Alien, back in the late '70s.

Alien: Covenant's only saving grace, or what you could call slightly redeeming qualities, are the beautiful locations, sets, cinematography, and clearly talented performances. But that isn't saying much since the most of the actors are barely given enough screen time to allow for any real character development before they're killed off. This makes them highly disposable and hard to connect with or really care for. Don't even get me started on James Franco's wasted potential and the missing prologue scenes that should have been included to strengthen the plot. Oh well, what can ya do? At least Covenant isn't the worst entry in the franchise, I suppose. Don't get me wrong; there actually were a few really great moments and pleasant surprises. At times I even caught myself getting genuinely excited! Sadly any momentum that built up was quickly obliterated by the film's own lack of intelligence.

I don't know how Ridley Scott figured he could convince audiences to buy into this convoluted mess filled with so many plot-holes and an awful computer-generated Xenomorph. Sure, it may have been created using motion capture with a real actor providing a foundation for the alien's movements. But mostly ditching the groundbreaking practical effects that made the alien so iconic was like a pointless attempt at fixing something that was never broken to begin with. This was almost as distracting as Ridley's decision to allow his characters to continuously ignore logical safety protocols. Or simply have them avoid using basic common sense altogether in embarrassingly obvious, potentially catastrophic situations, despite their training. I mean, it's not like they're astronauts with a lot to lose or anything? Let's just say that Alien: Covenant was like a perfect storm of mediocrity that simply couldn't hold the film's structure together and ultimately weakened the franchise's mythology as a whole. Mindless fun? Maybe, but if you were disappointed with Prometheus, you may as well stay far and clear from this one.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

A Force To Be Reckoned With

[9/10 · 29 February 2016]

30 years after the defeat of the galactic Empire, two young strangers unexpectedly cross paths and must work together with the rebel forces to defend the universe from a new sinister threat.

The wait is finally over… The most anticipated film to come across the galaxy in decades has made its way to the big screen and has quickly proved to be a financial and critical success around the world. At this point, I'm confident most of you have already taken the time to watch this film, making my review a tad mute, but I'll give my two cents anyways. Growing up in the late '80s, I missed the original Star Wars craze. Ironically enough, though, I became a huge fan of Mel Brooks' hilarious spoof of the franchise, Spaceballs, instead. Then time passed and well… Unfortunately for me, my first real introduction to the saga started with the biggest dud of the series, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Don't get me wrong, I'd be lying if I acted like I didn't wish I had my own pod racer as a kid. But anyone who's seen the sub-par prequels knows all about the painfully wooden acting or abundance of CGI that made them so mediocre. I mean, it's no wonder I never grew up being a much of a fan of the saga. Thankfully I finally cracked down and went through a Star Wars marathon of all six chapters in preparation for the latest film, finally experiencing the classics for myself. While the prequels were a lot worst than I remembered, it was pretty obvious why the originals made such a massive cultural impact through the years. But before I get carried away talking about everything but the latest chapter, let me get back to the power of the hour, the one and only Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

First things first: The Force Awakens obviously recycles a few key plot elements from the classics, but there's no question that embracing the saga's history was a clever way of introducing a new generation to the Star Wars universe. As a genuine fan, co-writer and director J.J. Abrams brings a real sincerity and emotional understanding to the source material that makes it an undeniably entertaining film to experience. But what separates this sci-fi blockbuster from the herd is the film's ability to both look and feel real thanks to the use of actual environments, clever animatronics and old-school practical effects. From life-size space ships to actual creatures and electronically powered light sabers, no expense was spared towards embracing a timeless realism to the material. So for this bold move, I give Abrams two very enthusiastic thumbs up! This type of attention to detail, combined with the beautiful cinematography, smooth editing and contagious orchestral film score make it a true aesthetically pleasing masterpiece.

But as flawless as the special effects, film score or its visual look may be, what truly makes this story come alive is the characters. There was a rare compelling humility to them, especially with the young desert scavenger played by the beautiful Daisy Ridley. Her lack of film experience made her venerability feel genuine in contrast to her natural strength. John Boyega, on the other hand, just oozes charisma as the rogue stormtrooper who unexpectedly befriends Ridley during his travels. Combined, they have a very natural and organic chemistry that makes them utterly enjoyable to watch. The biggest pleasant surprise, however, came from Abrams' attention to the dark side. No longer are the stormtroopers faceless soldiers who lack any real sense of threat. They're tactfully trained sharpshooters with clear personalities that convey their individualities. As a long-time fan of these characters, it was really cool to see them become such a vital part of the story. But what about their infamous leader, Kylo Ren? Well he's certainly no Darth Vader, but that's what makes him so interesting. He's unstable and hot headed. His continuous need to prove himself and morally justify his actions makes him a dangerously unpredictable foe. To make a long story short, the development of these memorable characters alone is a true testament of Abrams' exceptional talents as a filmmaker.

This latest chapter in the series may strike certain die-hard fans as carrying too many similar plot points from the classics, but any true movie enthusiast can't deny the film's sheer ability to entertain. The director's vision brings an honest sense of humanity to its content and a genuine emotion to its core that can't be ignored. This is something that obviously came with ease thanks to the unquestionable love and passion toward the source material from everyone involved in the making of this epic space adventure. I might not have been much of a Star Wars fan in the past, but The Force Awakens unquestionably turned me into one for the future.

Krampus (I) (2015)

Twisted Christmas Fun

[6/10 · 25 December 2015]

Having recently lost his Christmas spirit and formed bitterness towards his family, a young boy unintentionally summons the wrath of a vicious demon to his home for the holidays.

For the first time in what feels like decades, we're fortunate enough to have something fresh and new come out from the shadows and surprise us. Unlike many of the countless reboots that are coming at us, like a flock of seagulls chasing after food, Krampus offers something that any film enthusiast could appreciate: originality. Sure, the character might be based on ancient Eastern European folklore, but who are we kidding? I'm pretty sure that most of us in North America have never heard of this legend beforehand, which makes it feel as fresh as putting on a clean pair of socks straight out of the dryer. Just don't expect to feel too warm and fuzzy when this terrifying shadow comes to town.

What makes Krampus so effective is its intentional throwback to old-school horror mixed with the tone of a family Christmas flick from the '80s. This is certainly not an easy concoction to mix, but writer/director Michael Dougherty comes the closest to achieving exactly what the flawless Gremlins did for this twistedly fun sub-genre. His decision to implement the use of real-life monster puppets instead of going full CGI certainly has a lot to do with this. But it was his clever decision to keep them hidden from the cast until filming that truly made them come alive. As stated by Park and Recreation's Adam Scott, the first time they'd see most of the creatures was on-camera, so their reactions ended up being completely genuine. Not that this film's wonderfully dysfunctional family, which also includes Anchorman's David Koechner, The Sixth Sense's Toni Collette and Two and a Half Men's Conchata Ferrel, needed it, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

Krampus might be one of the world's darkest Christmas movies, but it manages to hold just enough light-hearted qualities with its family values to maintain some holiday spirit. I have no doubt that some audiences will find its premise a little unsettling, but its spiritual sensibilities and strange sense of humor prevent it from being a pointless tale of bloodshed. Thankfully avoiding typical horror clichés, this is one unexpected gift for the holidays that's sure to slay.

Vacation (I) (2015)

What Couldn't Have Gone Wrong?

[4/10 · 21 December 2015]

In hopes of bringing his family closer together, Rusty Griswold attempts to recreate his own childhood cross-country vacation by bringing them all to Walley World! As you can expect, nothing goes according to plan for this amusingly dysfunctional family.

Vacation definitely had its moments and was smart enough to be very transparent in its self-awareness towards being an unnecessary sequel but was that really enough? Well... I have to agree with the bulk of the critics for a change when I say that this flick was nothing short of a let down. I felt like they tried a little too hard to catch us off guard with their politically incorrect humor and while some of it was effective, most of it felt almost too mean-spirited to enjoy. The film undeniably featured some pretty hilarious cameos, including the legendary Chevy Chase himself who treats us with some flawless slapstick involving an acoustic guitar. But when the side characters generate bigger laughs than the main cast does, it's not a good sign. Maybe the directors didn't have their GPS coordinates set properly because they definitely brought this Griswold family off course into mediocrity. I have to hand it to Christina Applegate for going all out with her character no matter how embarrassing her big college campus scene may have been. You can tell everyone really tried to give it their all, but as I previously mentioned, sometimes they just tried a little too hard.

Regardless, fans of the original films will be pleased to see the short but fun reunion of Clark and Ellen Griswold for the first time in 17 years, and I'm sure people will get a kick out of Charlie Day's cameo. This It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia comedian isn't on screen for long, but his side-roll as the crazy white water rafting instructor was hilariously priceless! Furthermore, I couldn't resist bopping my head to the classic '70s Holiday Road song that pleasantly supports the clever slide show opening sequence. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm towards the rest of the film isn't so consistent. Sure Chris Hemsworth was surprisingly funny, and the Griswold's infamous 2015 Tartan Prancer, which is actually a fake car created for the movie, proved to be a great impractical highlight, but I can't really think of anything else worth mentioning.

Vacation might be leaps and bounds better than comedies like that abomination Date Movie, that came from 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie, but that's far from a compliment. One could say some of their jokes are comparable in style, feeling both forced and like a failed attempt to shock, which equally falls flat from the lack of substance or justifiable payoff. Unfortunately, the highly anticipated Dumb & Dumber To suffered similar problems with its inability to persuade the audience in feeling any form of sympathy for its characters. A little sad considering both the original Dumber & Dumber and Vacation films managed to do the complete opposite with the added bonus of leaving the audience in stitches from their gut-busting humor. Thankfully, at least a few modern flicks like Horrible Bosses and The Heat are around to remind us that great comedy isn't completely dead. I just hope to God they don't attempt to give us another Christmas Vacation or, wait a minute? They already did, didn't they? Aw Humbug! With no memorable lines, grosser gags that your most juvenile Adam Sandler flick and an old Clark Griswold reminding us just what we're missing from the classics, Vacation feels more like a forgettable visit to an annoying relative's house for the weekend. Sure, you may find yourself laughing from time to time, but there won't be any sunsets or piña coladas on this lackluster trip. But hey, at least the slideshows were nice?

Absolutely Anything (2015)

Absolutely Nuts

[6/10 · 18 December 2015]

A group of aliens decide to put the fate of the world in the hands of one random guy by giving him the power to make anything happen as a test towards predicting the values of humanity.

British writer/director Terry Jones, known for his work with the hilarious Monty Python comedy group, returns with his first feature film in 19 years for Absolutely Anything, and it's absolutely perfect absurdity. From a hilarious talking dog to a series of unpredictable gags ranging from walking turds to the accidental annihilation of an entire classroom of kids, the film's unpredictable humor is completely nuts. But like a fine mix of chocolate-covered nuts, Jones makes sure none of the jokes ever become mean-spirited, ensuring the film maintains some refined substance through its mostly lighthearted antics. Just don't expect the same style of humor seen in his '70s comedic masterpiece Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Now I won't try and bring your hopes up with empty promises, considering this flick is far from being award-worthy. Any forms of deep character development or profound script elements are instead replaced with an extra dose of silly gags, but at least they're funny enough to justify their existence. Full of unexpected wit that cleverly mixes its comedic styles, Absolutely Anything had me laughing from start to finish. Obviously Simon Pegg deserves some recognition for this, considering he's the one that allowed the far-fetched situations come to life with impeccable comedic timing. The best parts are, of course, the trial and error associated with Pegg trying to figure out how to properly use his powers without having them hilariously backfire in his face. What will surprise audiences the most, however, is the fantastic voice work brought to Pegg's lovably annoying pet dog by none other than the late legend himself, Robin Williams. It's a little bittersweet considering it's his final roll, but it certainly comes with great pleasure to say it's a memorable one.

Thankfully I never bothered checking out the film's Rotten Tomatoes rating before watching it, because it's exceptionally low 8% critic approval might have persuaded me not to give it a chance. How the undeniably pointless Stan-Helsing or Kevin Smith's unfunny detective comedy Cop Out managed to get higher critic approval scores is beyond me. Maybe it's time people adjust the tracking on their VCRs and take the time to actually watch things clearly. Wait… People don't watch VHS tapes anymore? Oh… Well I guess we can't really blame the picture quality now can we? Hum… Perhaps my taste in movies has just relinquished in quality over the years? Or maybe my sense of humor just belongs in a Saturday morning cartoon? Either way, I'd like to think I'm not the crazy one.

Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)

Status Update? Mission Failed.

[23 November 2015]

Trained and genetically engineered to be the ultimate killing machine, one agent will stop at nothing to put an end to a corporation's plans of creating an army of super assassins.

Award-winning Polish music video director Aleksander Bach makes his debut to the big screen with his first full-length feature film, Hit-man: Agent 47, a "modern" reboot of the infamous 2007 video game adaption Hit-man. Is it just me, or does it feel kind of silly to be rebooting a mostly forgettable film that's not even that old yet? Not that I hated the original, but I certainly never had the craving to watch it ever again. Obviously this raises a pretty obvious question: why did I bother watching this new Hit-man film in the first place? To be quite honest… I have no clue. I suppose I often feel the need to give critically panned films a fighting chance as some of these underdogs end up becoming some of my most loved flicks. Take Neil Blomkamp's Chappie or the hilariously epic '90s slapstick comedy Beverly Hills Ninja for instance. Nevertheless, I have to agree with the bulk of the critics this time around. Despite having an unquestionably talented cast, this latest action flick doesn't really offer enough memorable moments worth mentioning.

Hit-man: Agent 47 carries itself with cold and violent force, effortlessly keeping a straight face throughout, but that's not necessarily a compliment. Where the action sequences prevail, the yawn-inspiring script continuously sets things up for failure. Action without depth is like a grilled cheese without the cheese: dry, bland, and easily crumbles from its lack of integrity. Served with an unimpressive side of "thin plot" and a tall glass of "0.5 % character development," Agent 47 clearly failed to satisfy this action enthusiast.

Maybe if I would have played the video games that this film's loosely based on, I would have appreciated this live-action adaption a little more. Judging by most fans of the games themselves though, it sounds like they're genuinely disappointed with the misguided adaption of their beloved character, 47. Perhaps it's time studios give the green light only to directors who're actual gamers that have at least played the games the movies are based on. This certainly paid off in the recent Crackle original Dead Rising: Watchtower. But what's done is done, and from this poor attempt to reboot a potential Hit-man film franchise, I'm betting we won't be seeing any sequels in the near future.

Knock Knock (I) (2015)

Who's There?

[6/10 · 16 November 2015]

Home alone for the weekend, a devoted husband and father gets an unexpected visit from two beautiful young girls needing help. But what seems like a harmless encounter quickly spirals out of control once he finds himself seduced into their twisted violent games.

Inspired by the infamous 1977 exploitation flick Death Game, Eli Roth returns to the scene as co-writer and director, taking a modernized stab at the classic home invasion subgenre. But was his 8-year directing hiatus worth the wait? Well… I'd like to think so! Knock Knock may not feature Roth's signature gore, but most audiences are sure to be disgusted all the same from his strange erotic approach to the psychological thriller. I was actually pleasantly surprised to see such a mature and sophisticated direction coming from this controversial horror director. Some of his die-hard fans will probably feel differently about this change of style, but you have to respect his willingness to try something new. Gore just for the sake of gore, or as they say to create "shock value," has never really impressed me, and this is why I have never been too keen on most of his earlier films. But Knock Knock succeeds in ways his directorial debut Cabin Fever or the god-awful Hostel: Part II didn't by delivering genuine suspense through convincing characters. This is the same clever style he once carried through the original Hostel, minus the excessive bloodshed, of course.

As Ana De Armas previously stated in an interview, it's really interesting to see a story that involves characters that all think they're the victims, regardless of their actions. Knock Knock definitely cuts against the grain in this way by challenging us to question the morality of who's truly innocent. This quickly skews any certainties one may have towards the characters, which eventually leads to an intriguing ethical dilemma. Obviously the actors themselves played a big part in the fierce tension brought to the screen through their exceptional performances. Hilariously enough, one reviewer stated that Lorenza Izzo and Ana de Armas' acting made them want to knit their eyelids shut. All right buddy… Let's maybe take a chill pill and turn it down a notch. I've watched my share of dull movies and Knock Knock is far from one of them. Sure, the film might fall victim to a few minor plot holes, but none came close to distracting from the genuine suspense these characters create. The two lead femme fatales, far from conventional, offered some truly convincing over-the top performances through their psychotic actions and dark campy undertones. Keanu Reeves also delivers what may just be the best performance of his career as the easy-going family man who's forced to deal with a very destructive situation. Providing an impressive range of emotional depth that perfectly contrasts with the sociopathic personalities of the two young sexual vixens.

More importantly, the film manages to shed some interesting light on social media and its disturbingly adverse potential. Most people wouldn't think twice about putting themselves online, but are completely oblivious to the lack of privacy of sites like Facebook. It's so easy to get sucked into socializing digitally in today's age, and I think we've gotten so used to it that most have forgotten how easily its power could be abused. Like it or not, we now live in a time where our personal business can be exposed to the entire world in a matter of seconds. In the wrong hands, this could easily become our worst nightmare. Roth resourcefully uses this nightmare to the film's advantage, creating a disturbingly brilliant form of social commentary that underlines this slick seductive thriller.

San Andreas (2015)

Disaster Strikes Back!

[6/10 · 11 November 2015]

Following the aftermath of a brutal and violent earthquake, a chopper pilot must travel with his ex-wife, against massive destruction, to rescue their beloved daughter.

Dwayne Johnson may have started his career as a pro wrestler, but has clearly proved that he's got all the charisma, muscles, and talent to be a true modern-day action hero in San Andreas. Some critics are calling the acting one-dimensional but I'd have to agree to disagree. While there may be a predictable amount of panic-infused performances from our actors continuously running away from danger, San Andreas managed to surprise me with its emotional heft. This is where the film's true strength comes into play and saves it from reaching a level of mouldy cheesiness that not even a mouse could enjoy. What can I say? A little cheese every now and then never hurt anyone, or at least the inner kid in me tends to enjoy it.

That being said, we may as well get straight to the obvious elephant in the room. Yes, this just another typical Hollywood blockbuster disaster thriller, and yes, the plot line is as clichéd as they come, but there's no arguing that it accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do, and that's entertain! I won't argue with anyone that there's also a lack of character development and some pretty far-fetched scientific elements present, but who really cares? Let's not forget that both Twister and Dante's Peak were criticized for the same things back in the day, but I didn't care then and I certainly don't care now because they're simply too fun not to enjoy. The same can be said for San Andreas, which is easily the best film of its genre to come out since the '90s and its jaw-dropping special effects and good sense of humour more than make up for its obvious shortcomings.

The film also features one flawlessly choreographed continuous shot that follows one of our characters' struggle to escape the destructive force brought by one of the film's massive earthquakes. It's a 3-minute long scene that features over 50 actors, 8 locations, dangerous stunts and a great mix of practical effects and CGI that pulls you right into the action. It's hard not to be impressed and even a little inspired from such a realistic-looking and complex action sequence. It's just a shame they had to end the movie with such a corny, American propaganda-esque scene, but what can you do? At least the film wasn't based off any books or games, and isn't another godforsaken reboot.

Unquestionably clichéd but equally fun, San Andreas is sure to disappoint most critics as a loud and mindless Hollywood flick. I am, however, confident that most audiences will have a hard time not enjoying this modern-day, action-packed disaster thriller. I suggest you recline your chair, crank up the surround sound, turn off your brain and just enjoy the ride!

Blended (2014)

Blends All The Right Ingredients

[7/10 · 4 October 2015]

Struggling with the life of being single parents, two strangers who go on a failed blind date get unexpectedly reunited when they're forced to share their family vacation in Africa.

It's undeniable that Adam Sandler's recent efforts have been sub-par to his earlier work, but I have to admit that Blended truly surprised me. All of his trademark goofball gags are present, yet Sandler brings a stronger sense of maturity that works to his advantage in this heartfelt family flick. I can understand that wacky comedy isn't for everyone, but seriously, some people are obviously taking this movie way too seriously. Every joke in the film is in good taste and some of the gags could even be considered adorable. Maybe the critics just lost their sense of humor or couldn't appreciate Terry Crews' flamboyant musical dance numbers, because this movie's way better than the ratings suggest!

Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore reunite for the third time, bringing out the best in each other and proving they're two names in comedy that shouldn't yet be forgotten. Their romantic chemistry couldn't feel more genuine and their comedic timing is always on key, bringing on the laughs like a drunken hyena. Combine this with their realistic dramatic approach to the beautiful and lonely life of single parenting and you've got yourself one heartfelt movie about family and adulthood.

Blended might not be the most original or groundbreaking flick, but it includes just enough heartwarming moments and hilarious gags to make it a near-perfect outing for the entire family. While Sandler may no longer be in his prime, this recent effort proves he's still got enough comedic talent left to keep his fans laughing for at least a few more years!

Kite (2014)

Too dull to stay afloat.

[2/10 · 28 September 2015]

In a corrupted society and flawed justice system, one detective decides to take matters in his own hands. Fueled to rid the city of its crime, he trains a young orphan to become his ultimate killing machine. With no memories of her past, she embarks on a series of missions that end up leading her closer to the reality of how she came to be such a violent, cold-blooded assassin.

Based on the 1998 cult classic anime of the same name, it's quite clear that director Ralph Ziman tried and unfortunately failed to re-create the stylized and innovative look its animated counterpart offered. Any form of creative cinematography is absent and the lack of attention to the characters makes it hard to really care about anyone or their outcome. It's got some pretty colorful characters and sets that do help give it a bit of spunk, but the flaws cut in way too deep for even Samuel L. Jackson to heal. This is all the proof you need to know that hyper-violence and fast-paced action alone can't make up for a dull script or the absence of genuine artistic creativity.

Much like waiting in line for a flu shot, Kite will make sure you're left completely bored out of your mind before its uninspiring plot reaches its disappointing end. Hate to give such a poor rating, but this is one flick that completely dug its own grave.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

150% Beautiful Insanity!

[9/10 · 21 September 2015]

Hunted by scavengers and haunted by his past, Max lives on the run like a lone wolf reduced to the single instinct of survival. Things, however, take a turn for the worse once he finds himself a prisoner of a citadel tyrannized by an evil warlord and must join a group of strangers in hopes of escaping out alive.

From director George Miller, the original mastermind behind the Mad Max franchise, comes a new post-apocalyptic tale of vengeance and solidarity. Fueled with stylistic chaos and amped with 150% beautiful insanity, Mad Max: Fury Road is like a nitro-boosted adrenaline rush straight to the head! Every shot was flawlessly staged, lit and framed like an artistic photograph that simply screams pure genius. This goes without mentioning the awesome, heavy metal-infused orchestral score by Junkie XL. Now some viewers might feel a little awkward accepting some of the steam-punk attire, eccentric props and unquestionably weird characters, but they shouldn't be too quick to judge. Everything in the film, no matter how odd, has a sense of logic and a functional purpose to support its existence. Not only does this sensible approach make things feel more realistic but it also couldn't look more genuine, thanks to the abundance of practical effects and real stunt work. Even more impressive is the clear dedication from our leading actors who performed the majority of their own stunts. One fight sequence even resulted in Tom Hardy breaking his nose, but judging by his interviews, it's pretty clear that everyone's proud of what they've accomplished.

Putting the film's obvious strengths aside, one of Fury Road's most impressive aspects is the technical brilliance behind the cinematography and editing itself. Regardless of how fast-paced some of the scenes were and how many quick cuts they included, I never once had to struggle to process the visuals. It's safe to say that the director knew exactly how to frame the characters in each shot to ensure everything flowed together without nauseating the audience, regardless of its high-paced action. Too bad most modern action movies aren't competent enough to film and edit sequences this way. Maybe Taken 3 rings a bell? Keep in mind, viewers may find disappointment through the film's relatively thin plot and lack of dialogue, but one could easily argue that Miller effectively makes up for this with his clever use of visual storytelling techniques. I for one felt the characters' actions spoke for themselves and am confident his storyboard- based script had a lot to do with why this approach worked so well.

This might be the 4th chapter in a pre-established saga, but Millar has proved his concept is far from dead and Fury Road completely justifies all the critical appraise it's receiving. With just enough nods to the originals to please die-hard fans but more than enough fresh material to engage new audiences, anyone getting on board is sure to enjoy the ride. If its unique style or genuine originality isn't enough to catch your attention, the high octane and unquestionably explosive action sequences are sure to blow you away!

Dead Rising: Watchtower (2015)

A goretastic video game adaption!

[7/10 · 14 September 2015]

Based on the best-selling video games by Capcom, Dead Rising: Watchtower by director Zach Liposvsky brings us an new and original story that follows a young reporter's struggle for survival against a viscous zombie outbreak. In a race against time, he's forced to team up with a couple of strangers in hopes of escaping a quarantine zone before the government's scheduled city-wide purge takes effect.

Within the first 2 minutes, we get to see our hero use a toaster, fan blade and car muffler as weapons to fend off a gun-wielding zombie cop. I think it's safe to say that, like fine wine, this film's definitely an acquired taste. I'm certainly not ashamed to admit that I had a bloody good time, and as a fan of the original games, I was unquestionably impressed with how true to the source material Dead Rising: Watchtower actually was. From a buzzsaw-equipped sledgehammer to a shotgun-machete, the weapons are borderline insane yet completely and utterly amazing to see in real life. Even the infamous "Zombrex" medicine plays a part in the story, which was also a nice nod to all the fun Dead Rising games.

I guess it paid off that the franchise owners from Capcom refused to let the director bring this to life without first proving he's a genuine fan of the games by playing one in front of them. He clearly passed the test because this is probably the best video game adaption to film I have ever seen to date. What sets this zombie flick from the horde, however, is its actors and attention to detail towards the props, sets and gory makeup effects. As a fan of campy B movies, I can't deny that a large portion of them offer next to no acting talent, but this certainly isn't the case with Dead Rising's awesome cast. Featuring Dallas' Jesse Metcalfe, Bates Motel's Keegan Connor Tracey and 24's Dennis Haysbert, this is one TV star-studded cast that doesn't disappoint. Even the great Rob Riggle makes a side appearance as the original game's cocky photojournalist, Frank West, providing some hilarious newscast social satire. To top it off, the cinematography was unexpectedly smooth and includes some very cool points of view through the camera work. What stood out the most, though, was a remarkably long and totally impressive single take which follows a brutally epic zombie-killing spree.

Since the film is sprinkled with bits of dark comedy and campy violence, there's no doubt in my mind that most critics will love to pick this Crackle original feature apart with genuine hate. For the cult classic enthusiast, however, this may just be the perfect storm of hilarious insanity. Flaws aside, at no point does the film ever try to restrain itself from being a glorified B movie and fans of the games are sure to eat it up, even more, because of it. Gleefully self-aware of all its over-the-top antics, Dead Rising: Watchtower is one love letter to the fans that's sure not to disappoint!

Kill Me Three Times (2014)

Killed Me 90 Times

[3/10 · 16 August 2015]

Mercurial assassin Charlie Wolfe is recruited to get rid of a business owner's cheating girlfriend, but soon discovers he's not the only one targeting his prey. Get ready for three tales of mayhem filled with blackmail, murder and revenge. This relaxing, sun-filled beach town is about to get bloody.

Kill Me Three Times by director Kriv Stenders killed me at least 90 times, which is the entirety of its run time. This must sound a little harsh for a movie that contains some unquestionably brilliant cinematography and pretty reputable actors, but you'll understand what I mean if you watch it. It does its best to stand out with its own style, but one can only hear the same repeated espionage music track a hand full of times before they start to cringe. Truthfully, whoever was hired as the Music Department Supervisor should be ashamed of approving the redundantly annoying soundtrack they used to support this quirky action thriller.

On the bright side, this flick did sport a pretty interesting form of non-linear storytelling with the multiple points of view associated with its own title. The special effects department also pulled off some pretty beautifully disgusting bloody moments, the film's scenery was exquisite and Simon Pegg did bring a hint of fun to the mix. Unfortunately these stronger traits weren't enough to erase the sense of boredom I felt throughout the lackluster twists, streaks of flat jokes and tiresomely dramatic arches.

You'll have to pardon this obvious and somewhat cliché pun, but what can I say except this movie completely misses its mark. Bam! I said it, ha-ha. If a fine mix of black comedy and violent gun blazing action is your thing, you're better off sticking to Edgar Wright's Hot Fuzz or Michael Davis' underrated Shoot 'Em Up.

Life After Beth (2014)

A Bether Apocalypse?

[5/10 · 4 August 2015]

Fresh from her funeral, Zach learns that his girlfriend has mysteriously returned from the dead in what seems to be some sort of evil hoax, but he soon discovers that it's no laughing matter. Life After Beth does its best to take a bite out of the indie scene with its quirky dark humor and horror elements but lacks the balanced tone it needed to rise from its own grave. I think this has a lot to do with Jeff Baena's misguided direction that clearly prevents this dark comedy/drama from hitting most of its satirical marks.

Considering they only had 22 days for filming and a relatively small budget, one could say this first-time director played his cards quite well, but no compliments can bury the film's countless flaws. I just wish he had taken better advantage of the talented comedians he had access to, rather than take such a serious approach to the material. The film conveys such a deadpan style in so many of its scenes that I couldn't help but crave that extra comedic relief it often lacked. The film's soundtrack certainly doesn't help with its aggressively eerie beats that often drown out the jokes, creating a strange tonal crisis that kills off the beautifully chaotic tongue-in-cheek moments. It's too bad Beana didn't take notes from Edgar Wright's superior zombie romantic comedy, Shaun of the Dead.

Focusing on the actors themselves, Aubrey Plaza's commitment to her role alone creates such a powerful screen presence that's definitely worth seeing despite the previously mentioned shortcomings. Dane DeHaan also brings a genuine approach to an everyday romance pressed against bizarre circumstances. But what truly gives this film enough strength to save itself from complete failure is the strong chemistry the lead actors share on screen as the troubled lovers. Unfortunately their story is cut short with little to no explanation of how their relationship used to be before Beth's unfortunate accident, adding to the weakness of this odd plot. It also makes it a lot harder to identify with how things have changed and/or care about their future outcome.

Described as a "rom-com-zom-drom," Life After Beth suffers deeply from its obvious identity crisis but manages to offer just enough fun to validate a passing mark. Just don't expect to be scared or have too many laughs.

Terminator Genisys (2015)

The Rules Have Changed.

[6/10 · 27 July 2015]

The leader of a future resistance sends one of his soldiers back in time to protect a young woman whose own survival dictates the fate of humanity as we know it. But when the soldier gets back to 1984, he quickly learns that all the rules have changed.

As a big fan of the first two films, I didn't really expect to enjoy this 5th attempt to spark some life into the once-amazing Terminator franchise, but it actually wasn't all that bad. Let's not get ahead of ourselves though, because it really wasn't all that good either. Terminator Genisys starts off strong with some nostalgia-infused action, bringing us back to the '80s, which was nothing but 100% awesome! The scenes were extremely respectful to the original source material, and the newest T-1000, played by I Saw the Devil's Byung-hun Lee, was genuinely badass. I knew living up to Robert Patrick's iconic performance in T-2 wouldn't be easy, but he definitely didn't disappoint. Seeing Schwarzenegger back as the Terminator was another pleasant treat, but it's the beautiful Emilia Clarke who proved to be an unexpected highlight as the young and feisty Sarah Connor.

Unfortunately my level of enthusiasm quickly faded when they decided to change direction and add a new "creative" twist to the mix. I won't ruin anything for you, but chances are the film's poor marketing team already did if you've seen their newest, spoiler-packed trailers. To make matters worse, the studios decided to play it safe and give Genisys a lukewarm PG-13 rating. As faithful as the film was to the originals, it's undeniable that its softer rating affected the quality of sheer tension the franchise once had. The brutally violent and ruthless robots we once feared simply have, no pun indented, been officially terminated. In its place are traces of what could have been and memories of what used to be. Not that I'm trying to praise violence, but when you're used to eating your chicken wings with some scorching red hot sauce, it's a little hard to switch to dry meat, so to speak.

While nowhere as bad as T-3, this latest effort may offer some moments of greatness, but is likely to leave fans disappointed from its "family friendly" feel. I'm not saying you should skip on the action, but don't expect a flawless franchise revival in the same vein as Mad Max: Fury Road.

The Voices (2014)

He's a great guy. Just ask his pets!

[7/10 · 18 July 2015]

Jerry's just your average guy. He works a 9 to 5, owns a trailer home and has 2 talking pets. Aside from his regular therapy sessions and, well, the talking pets, I guess you could say he leads a pretty simple life. Or at least things used to be this way, until he falls in love with his beautiful co-worker, sending him down a very twisted and violent path.

Marking her live-action directorial debut, Marjane Satrapi wastes no time proving she's a force to be reckoned with outside her roots in animation. Seldom do we see someone take on such a controversial script and present it with so much style, inventiveness and strong attention to detail. From the simple yet effective use of animation in the title sequence to the seamless use of colors through the sets and wardrobes, no subtleties are missed towards creating its offbeat tones. This can't go without mentioning the clever use of practical effects and her choice to use real animals rather than take the easy route of creating them with CGI. As bizarre as some of the scenes can be, The Voices has enough artistic integrity infused in its core to attain a sense of believability that helps you stay engaged the whole way through.

I suppose it's safe to say that a lot of things contributed to the quality of this film, but it obviously wouldn't have worked without the amazing talents of Ryan Reynolds. Not only does he flawlessly lend his voice to the hilarious taking animals, he somehow manages to bring a genuine likability to his roll as the world's nicest serial killer. Thankfully our socially awkward protagonist is given just enough character development for us to truly understand where he's coming from and why he's so, well, weird.

At no point does the story ever try to hide the grim violent reality behind all of the quirky humor it predominantly portrays either. Nor does it ever lose its balance in tone and fall victim of an identity crisis, like most dark comedies tend to do. The Voices might be a little too bizarre for most, but regardless of how people feel about it, there's no question that this is one provocative screenplay that will gain lots of well-deserved attention.

Kung Fury (2015)

They f@#%ed with the wrong cop.

[10/10 · 28 May 2015]

Struck by lightning and bit by a cobra, an ordinary cop has a revelation which helps him master a new form of Kung Fu so powerful that only he, the chosen one, can learn. With his newfound powers, he will stop at nothing to bring justice to the crime-infested streets of Miami. No one could have predicted what was about to come his way, however, once he must embark on a dangerous adventure back through time to avenge a fallen friend.

Kung Fury not only put a permanent smile on my face throughout the entire movie, it completely blew me away and well exceeded my expectations. Writer/ director and lead actor David Sandberg may be the new kid on the block, but hell does he ever know how to make a debut! His character, who goes by the same name as the movie, is the perfect cross between Marty McFly, Steven Seagal, and a Ninja Turtle. But I think the film's biggest strength is that it never takes itself too seriously and remains self-aware of its hilarious and intentional cheese.

You know you're about to get on board for something special as soon as you see the perfectly dated vintage look of the main titles and hear the old-school soundtrack the movie sports. The ode to retro games and electronics alone is worth seeing for the epic blast of nostalgia! I can tell a lot of time and passion went into the making of this short indie film and couldn't be prouder to have been one of the original Kickstarter funders that helped this project take off.

What else can I say except Sandberg may have created the perfect recipe for awesome with this epically over-the-top homage to vintage action movies and the era of VHS tapes that any '80s kid could drool over!

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

The Wild West Will Never Be The Same...

[8/10 · 27 May 2015]

Writer/director Seth MacFarlane stars in this western tale of a cowardly sheep farmer who struggles to win back the love of his ex-girlfriend. Due to unexpected circumstances, his plans quickly change once he falls in love with the mysterious new woman in town, who turns out to be the runaway wife of a vicious gun-slinging outlaw. Forced to deal with this new dangerous turn of events, our protagonist must look deep within himself to find the courage he never had to be the hero he never was.

In this contemporary take on the classic western genre, Seth MacFarlane manages to cleverly satirize the old west by poking fun at all the harsh realities of this time period. A Million Ways to Die in the West may have been a little too smart for its own good, though. Considering its poor critical reception, I think a lot of people failed to understand or appreciate the true brilliance this movie conveys through its humor. Or maybe they just couldn't see past the farts?

Despite his use of toilet humor, none of Seth's jokes ever feel forced or out of place, which is why more of the gags are hits rather than misses. This is primarily due to his clearly educated writing talents, ensuring that his jokes are never one-dimensional and that the line between the serious tones and silly slapstick remain balanced throughout. This can't be said without mentioning his ingenious use of the most priceless cameos possible. I won't spoil them for you, but let's just say I'm very confident true movie buffs will appreciate their flair and surely crack a smile!

While some of the scenes are pretty gruesome, his realistic approach to violence helps convey a brutal honesty towards its true nature. This was a smart touch as it clearly helps elevate the sense of danger while ensuring we understand its grim reality rather than simply glorifying it. This approach is also elevated from his use of practical effects and highly detailed set pieces that accurately recreate the look and feel of the dangerous and depressing old wild west.

Final consensus: in the vein of his hit TV series Family Guy, Seth MacFarlane fires non-stop jokes that are playfully delivered with strong wit and near-perfect comedic timing. Self-aware of its own edgy stupidity, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a brilliant homage to its time period and a hilarious slapstick blast!

Tusk (I) (2014)

Seriously?

[2/10 · 16 April 2015]

If this is based off one of Kevin Smith's inside jokes, the joke's on him. Tusk is nothing more than a sad and sickly demented mess…

While the actors' performances are top notch, the script is simply too flawed and deranged for my taste. I mean, there are fewer holes in North America's finest groundhog territory than in this odd plot. I suppose some credit can be given to everyone for attempting something so weirdly original and Smith definitely gets my respect for embracing every genre. Sadly Tusk is a little too disturbing to work as a comedy and way too implausible to succeed as a horror-drama. It does, however, work on all sides to be a true contender in the "worst movie ending of all time" championship!

Maybe if I had taken the time to listen to Smith's podcast "The Walrus and the Carpenter," which this movie is based on, my feelings would have differed. I seriously doubt it though.

Furious 7 (2015)

Vengeance Hits Home

[7/10 · 8 April 2015]

Furious 7 stands as the darkest entry in the franchise, bringing everyone deeper into the violent world they first entered in Fast & Furious 6. Hunted down by a revenge-seeking assassin and stuck in the middle of a power struggle between a new terrorist and secret government agency, Toretto and his team must reunite to prevent total global chaos.

While the movie ultimately suffers from its convoluted plot, remaining loose ends are tied and the casts compelling performances give this thriller tons of genuine heart. Combined with its bone-shattering fights and the craziest action sequences the series has ever seen, this latest chapter truly deserves its record-breaking box-office success.

Despite the film's limitations surrounding Paul Walker's character due to his tragic real-life passing, everyone involved put in so much heart and soul that you can't help but feel the powerful energy it delivers. Against near-impossible odds, director James Wan manages to give the fans one last ride that tastefully serves as a beautiful and touching tribute to Walker's legacy.

Chappie (2015)

Robot Gangsta #1 has serious heart.

[10/10 · 9 March 2015]

Ignore what the critics are saying, because hidden behind this explosive sci-fi thriller is a touching, underrated story helmed by a powerful cast, with a beautiful film score by Hans Zimmer. Ironically, one of the most amazing stories about humanity I've ever seen was led by a gangster robot. What else can I say except I left the cinema in awe.

A young scientist creates artificial intelligence and manages to bring one of his damaged police bots back to life, giving it the power to learn, love, and feel. Sadly, his plans quickly change when he's forced to share his creation with a gang of street punks who want it to help them commit a series of crimes. The gangsters quickly learn that turning this newly-created and childlike robot into a killing machine won't be so easy. This contrast creates some surprisingly funny moments filled with undeniable charm. However, things take a heartbreaking turn once Chappie begins losing his innocence as he's exposed to the dark side of humanity.

Sharlto Copley returns as Blomkamp's main man and completely nails the motion capture acting to bring the lovable Chappie to life. However, this film's true secret weapons were Ninja and Yo-Landi Vi$$er from the South African rap group Die Antwoord. Both characters bring so much style and colour to the gritty setting, adding just the right amount of over-the-top originality the movie needed to pack that much more of a punch.

I think this movie's biggest flaw is how unconventionally it portrays its themes through a mix of dark sci-fi violence and innocent family movie elements. This creates a movie that sabotages itself into getting judged unfairly and misunderstood by most. Strangely, its biggest flaw is also its biggest strength though! Everything about this movie screams anti-conformity and proudly supports individuality by bringing its audience into uncharted waters, evoking emotions that we wouldn't expect to experience and feel sympathy for characters we never thought we would. Viewers may compare Chappie to Robocop and Short Circuit, but this bot clearly makes this movie his own while pulling on all the right heartstrings and teaching us a few things about love along the way.

In a nutshell, Blomkamp delivers a beautiful coming-of-age story that pushes the boundaries towards society's take on nature vs. nurture and ultimately challenges our views on what consciousness truly represents. Fueled by amazing special effects, interesting character development, and an intelligent use of symbolism towards life, this film falls nothing short of being a true cinematic masterpiece.