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Reviews
Cloverfield (2008)
Terrible, childish crap
If this is the way the movie-world will go , i wish them all the luck . What a piece of crap, cheap Charley's , all made by "handheld camera's"?? Is that an excuse fore lame filming??? shaking like the worst amateur-movie i have ever seen. Terrible acting and ridiculous "special effects" A real head-ache movie , don't spend any money on this !!!!!!! SF movies from the 50s are better then this. A monster movie really, but not how they meant it to be i guess. i wonder what you have to smoke before you like this. A total waste of time and recourses (not on camera's though)
Plugged like it was "indepedence day" its a BIG disappointment.
Invasion (2005)
Bad example with the skeleton crew
Invasion is(was) an okay series. The one thing that bothers me is the 2 actrices (Kari Matchett and Lisa Sheridan) Didn't nobody on the casting dept. notice that these 2 women are close to anorexia , Kari Matchett looks like she is dead already, and Lisa Sheridan looks like a sack of bones. Notice that in this entire series nobody eats a normal meal. Did they cutback on the food? Or are Matchett and Sheridan just as stupid as they look ? Anyway , its good that this series is cancelled, Matchett and Sheridan are very bad examples of how girls and women should look. Do this 2 skeletons realize that they are examples for teen-agers?
Facing the Giants (2006)
Unbelievable dumb and stupid.
This is probably the result of the Mormon invasion in the Hollycrap movie world. It started (for an American movie) quite believable; a coach that has a lot of setbacks in professional and personal life. Its not like in most American movies where people get born with a porche or a BMW car-key in their hand.
The team in this movie sucks big time, but see there's help on the way, if you just start reading the bible and pray a lot you become champion!!! So football coaches of America , throw all your data away, just pray and you win the superbowl without any pain.
The story is bad, the acting is even worse, and the religion showed here sucks big time. As i said its a mormon movie and a bad one to. Europeans will laugh there heads of by this so called "touching" movie, as far as i am concerned the movie touched bottom big time. Don't waste money on this piece of junk!!!!!!!!!
The Night Listener (2006)
Robin Williams is not Robert de Niro
After One Hour Photo, and Final Cut this is for me the final proof that Robin Williams is no drama actor at all. In the Night Listener he plays the same character as in the other 2 movies with a lot of very very slow acting that should make it dramatic.Its almost funny how he tries to be a serious actor so much that he hardly shows any emotions on his face. Williams doesn't come any further then the usual "sorry for himself face" and moves like a zombie in this terrible peace. After 10 minutes i almost fell a sleep because of the dreadful sleepy music, and the boring way of filming(Williams in a taxi not saying a word during the whole scene)
The story is even more ridiculous and not worth to waste any time on. if you have a hard time to fall a sleep , buy or rent this Tylenol on DVD , but if you really like good psychological thrillers "night listener " is not your movie.
Down in the Valley (2005)
Boring and cheap.
You can skip the first hour , cause nothing then a few kisses and some cheap sex scenes happens.
I really thought i got the wrong DVD from the rentals-tore cause the cover showed some ummmm acting scenes? The acting is terrible and the plot is even more simple then the rest of the "story" My advise is , don't spend any money on this crap.It looks like a bad documentary about suburbs.
Its 100 minutes of boring scenes and sleepy music , the music was probably chosen to make the story more believable, but it makes you wanna go to sleep.
The New World (2005)
Very Very boring and very very slow zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
2 Hrs and 15 minutes of slow sleepy music and awful acting. Collin Farrel shows that Alexander wasn't his low point , but with this dragon of a movie he really hits bottom. The whole"new world" has nothing to do with the "new world"but is the maybe 900th movie about Romeo and Julia. After 20 minutes i realized that their was a wonder happening . The native American girl spoke and understood English in a sec , while the story was that she never met "white men"before.But for the use of all the one liners she would speak it was probably needed to speak English????????????????? The new word title was just taken to let people believe that the movie would tell something about the exploring of America . The only thing it tells is the same old love story as always and even worse and slower then ever before. Don't spend any time or money on this peace of crap.
Hostel (2005)
Very Dumb and Very Bad
Probably one of the worst movies i have ever seen. Very bad acting and a script that looks like to been written by a loner who never has been out of his state or country. Amsterdam is as you should believe the movie a hellhole where everybody smokes dope and speaks German.hahahahaha. The name for hotel in dutch is HOTEL so why there's a sign outside an amsterdam street that says hostel i dunno , and really after seen all that crap i realized it was a waste of time to look a second more to this dumb and very amateuristic made thing. U might ask yourself who in the hell produces a Z movie like this. Send the scriptwriter and the director to europe for a year or 5 so they really know what they are talking about. HOSTEL is an attack on people's intelligence.
Bewitched (2005)
Terrible , Mrs Kidmann is a pain to watch.
This must be the worst movie i have seen in years. The complete miscast of plastic Nicole,they even had to change her voice to that of a little girl, so u might wonder why they cast Nicole Kidmann at all .She has no expression in her face anymore, she looks like a plastic doll and her acting was evident plastic as well.Even the nose twitch was plastic cause she had to use her complete face to move her nose. Will Ferrell is Will Ferrel and thats all. A very limited actor who will always stay on the bewitched level.
The story is chaotic and the acting of most people is very very bad. Its a waste of time to watch this.
The Brothers Grimm (2005)
Terrible, alleviation and chaotic
Its a pity that Gilliam never arises above his monthy python level. Brothers Grimm has all the ingredients for a great movie , but Gilliam has just made it into a series of sketches that makes the movie very very childish and boring. Mr Gilliam should realize that the Monthy Pyton years are over. he mixes all brother Grimm fairy tails into a big complete chaos , the kind of chaos that was nice in M.P. but that is out of date and out of time.I wonder if Mr.Damon and Mr.Hedger where very pleased with the result. It was a big mistake to let Gilliam be the director of this movie. A waste of money and resources. I feel sorry for the people who made the terrific special effects . They are the only good thing in the movie. It could have be made in the same way " a knights tale" was directed. But I think that kind of humor is to difficult for Mr.Gilliam, who also seems to have problems to stay focused on a storyline.
Don't spend money on brothers Grimm
Der Untergang (2004)
A Good European movie about a horrible part of history
I have seen The Bunker(1981) , the same story with Anthony Hopkins as Hitler , that was a great movie.
The Downfall is even better, it really was good to see that the European director had a complete different way of filming . For example in American made movies there can not be enough bloody scenes , but a naked breast or thigh is almost a crime so the reality in American movies stops at the love scenes , then it looks like people make love with as much close on as they can, that always makes me laugh , if you don't want to show sex then don't do it at all but don't show it that way. The German director of Downfall makes the movie the European way, no need to show executions 50 times he just leaves that part to the imagination of the viewers and thats in a movie as downfall a good thing .The few love scenes are normally filmed so it looks real for a change. Good actors, good filmed , i give it a 9 out of 10
Highwaymen (2004)
A complete waste of time
I watched it on video, and i was happy that it only took 80 something minutes for this very very low budget movie to finish.
The story never takes off and the whole movie was so predictable that it was almost funny.
Woman gets an ice-cream , wears a red dress , get run over by a car. Husband gets mad , gets after the killer , but don't succeed to kill him. And of course he gets a second chance, in the end another woman in the same dress almost gets killed but our hero saves her life of course. Thats the whole stupid movie. I even don't want to get in the details cause thats a waste of time to.
Awful simple and very bad filmed
The Punisher (2004)
Very very very very bad , a complete waste of time
I rented it because John Travolta was in it, never expected him to appear in a "C" movie. The name "the punisher" should have ringed a bell , because i knew there was a crap movie with the same name made in the 80's.
It still is an 80's "action"movie , there's almost no story in it, a lot of shooting and fake blood of course.Acting is so bad.... I even think the old version beats this one. Never expected that a crap movie like this would ever have a re-make. But see , people get fooled by a big name on the cover and it sells.John Travolta is no longer one of my favorite actors now i have seen this horrible movie.
The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)
Mc Tiernan good as always but who cast Russo for this part
i like Mc Tiernan movies in general , he is a good story teller. mix that with Pierce Brosnan and a good movie should be the result. Unfortunately somebody screwed up with the casting. Russo was completely miscast ed ,she is a good actress but should never play "femme fatal" she is as sexy as as fridge on the north pole and with her performance in this movie she brings it down to a "b" movie. In the beginning of the movie i could laugh about her clumsy way trying to look hot, but as further the movie went i get really irritated by her performance. I had the impression she knew her self this part was out of her league. Anyway, the story is great and Pierce Brosnan makes it worth to watch.
Solaris (2002)
Very slow and soporific
The movie is so slow and so unbelievable boring that i really don't understand why George Clooney ever wanted to work with a director like that. Why the whole thing was settled in space is a complete mystery to me. It looks like a low budget thing but its a very good sleeping pill though. A waste of time and money