ALL MY REVIEWS CONTAIN SPOILERS. EVERY ONE OF THEM.
If you can't tell within 20 minutes of Secret Window that Johnny Depp's character has split personality and he'll turn out to be the killer, well then, you're even more stupid than the writers of this horrible, horrible movie.
What the hell was Johnny Depp thinking? There isn't one good quality about this movie. Not one. Bad writing, bad pacing, no suspense, no scares, no surprises, and worst of all, no nudity. And how many times is Hollywood gonna churn out the same story? Not only has this split personality crap been done a million times before, Secret Window does it worse. It doesn't even have the decency to improve upon an already worn out plot twist.
Example: Even though "The Others" was a complete rip off of "The Sixth Sense", The Others was a better told story, was more believable, had more suspense, and in my opinion (the only one that matters, by the way) was just an all around better movie. Secret Window borrows-- I mean steals-- from dozens of other movies and doesn't even attempt to make things better. It's a step backwards. Johnny "I Gotta Eat, Too" Depp has never made a movie this bad. After 20 years of quality movies, the power of money has finally spoken to him. You can count on him no longer. This movie was bad enough for me to ban Johnny from any of my movie watching experiences from now on.
Johnny Depp plays this dumb author writing a dumb story in a dumb cabin. He is getting away from his wife who has been cheating on him, so now he's writing a story about an author whose wife cheated on him and then he killed her. That's real smart. Now after you murder your wife for real (which he does later) all the cops have to do is read your book to find out exactly how you did it. Johnny is then visited by a Mississippi hick played by John Turturro who claims Depp stole an earlier story of his. Depp says it isn't true, and he can prove it. Turturro gives Depp 3 days to come up with some proof and he promises to leave him alone. This is where all the 6 year olds in the audience figured out the ending.
Please save your money, people. If you've seen Fight Club, Usual Suspects, Stir of Echoes, Identity, or Finding Nemo, then you've already seen Secret Window. This movie is bad, bad bad! I saw it at an early matinee for only 6 bucks and I demanded my money back. The girl at the booth told me I was the third person in one day who asked the same thing. So she gave me a free movie pass to use at a later date.
Zero stars out of 5.
If you can't tell within 20 minutes of Secret Window that Johnny Depp's character has split personality and he'll turn out to be the killer, well then, you're even more stupid than the writers of this horrible, horrible movie.
What the hell was Johnny Depp thinking? There isn't one good quality about this movie. Not one. Bad writing, bad pacing, no suspense, no scares, no surprises, and worst of all, no nudity. And how many times is Hollywood gonna churn out the same story? Not only has this split personality crap been done a million times before, Secret Window does it worse. It doesn't even have the decency to improve upon an already worn out plot twist.
Example: Even though "The Others" was a complete rip off of "The Sixth Sense", The Others was a better told story, was more believable, had more suspense, and in my opinion (the only one that matters, by the way) was just an all around better movie. Secret Window borrows-- I mean steals-- from dozens of other movies and doesn't even attempt to make things better. It's a step backwards. Johnny "I Gotta Eat, Too" Depp has never made a movie this bad. After 20 years of quality movies, the power of money has finally spoken to him. You can count on him no longer. This movie was bad enough for me to ban Johnny from any of my movie watching experiences from now on.
Johnny Depp plays this dumb author writing a dumb story in a dumb cabin. He is getting away from his wife who has been cheating on him, so now he's writing a story about an author whose wife cheated on him and then he killed her. That's real smart. Now after you murder your wife for real (which he does later) all the cops have to do is read your book to find out exactly how you did it. Johnny is then visited by a Mississippi hick played by John Turturro who claims Depp stole an earlier story of his. Depp says it isn't true, and he can prove it. Turturro gives Depp 3 days to come up with some proof and he promises to leave him alone. This is where all the 6 year olds in the audience figured out the ending.
Please save your money, people. If you've seen Fight Club, Usual Suspects, Stir of Echoes, Identity, or Finding Nemo, then you've already seen Secret Window. This movie is bad, bad bad! I saw it at an early matinee for only 6 bucks and I demanded my money back. The girl at the booth told me I was the third person in one day who asked the same thing. So she gave me a free movie pass to use at a later date.
Zero stars out of 5.
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